Author's Note: MegamindxRoxanne, as seen through MetroMan's eyes. I own neither the characters nor the setting nor the plot of Megamind, and the only profit I make is in the critiques you deem fit to bestow upon me.
See Through Lead
He had eyes that could see through lead, and from the moment he saw that nervous, naïve, happy little alien, he knew that he was doomed. Such openness, such goodness, such vulnerability—he could never match the loveableness and the pureness of that soul. He had the perfect family, but his father didn't even care to put down the newspaper and look at him, and his mother only saw what she wanted to see: him being perfect. So he tried, he tried so hard to be perfect, in the only way he could be: superficially.
Then this nervous little alien stepped into the classroom with exactly the sort of soul he'd always dreamed of having.
He hated him, and he always feared he would take his place. But he had eyes that could see through lead, and he saw straight to the truth: that one day, like it or not, Megamind would take his place, and the world would be better for it.
He watched himself become a bully, subtly twisting everything Megamind did so he would get in trouble, and everyone would look at him and know he was a hero. One day, Megamind couldn't take it anymore, and decided to embrace the role he had pushed on him.
Each consecutive victory, each consecutive defeat, he began to feel more and more depressed. Megamind laughed after everything, he always picked himself up, he never meant anyone any real harm. Some days it was all he could do not to punch down all the brick walls in Metro City in frustration. He put on the guise of hero for the people, but inside his perfect white exterior, he could feel himself rotting away.
He asked Roxanne to coffee one morning, after the third—or was it fourth? yes, fourth time she had been kidnapped. All the people expected it of him, dating the beautiful lead reporter, and the way Megamind kept kidnapping her, it was like he pushed them together. Besides, he felt it was only his duty for all the stress that this frequent kidnapping must be causing her.
She was smart and funny and sassy, and the moment they sat down, she said, "You need to talk. I can tell, you've got something on your chest. It's all off-camera, okay? I promise."
"I'm sorry that Megamind keeps kidnapping you, miss—"
"It's Roxanne, my friends call me Roxi," she interrupted. "And if you're too embarrassed to say it, then I will. They all expect us to be dating. That's how the superhero story works."
He sat in stunned silence. No one spoke to him like that.
"And I'm sorry if you happen to like me, but I'm not interested. Not right now. It would take a lot more trips to coffee and a lot more getting to know you for me to consider dating you, and even then, it's a bit unprofessional, to be dating someone that's part of the job. Bias and all."
He felt relief wash over him. "So, um—"
"I'm not done. Firstly, Megamind is an idiot, and I'm not sure if it would be possible to get it through that thick skull of his that we aren't together. Secondly, if he does think that, then he would start kidnapping some other girl, and suddenly I lose the inside scoop on a lot of my stories, and some other poor woman would be scared out of her wits. Thirdly, one of the reasons my ratings are so high is because Megamind keeps kidnapping me and everyone assumes we're in love. I want to keep my job."
"So we would pretend to be in a relationship?" he grimaced.
"Somehow, I feel like you have enough pretending in your life. Besides, I'm not the only person out there who's smart, and who can really see people. After a few weeks, they'd see right through us, and besides, romance is a lot more exciting when it's secret. If we go public, then suddenly it's not exciting anymore, it's not the lastest gossip."
"Okay, you tell me what to do!" He was getting a bit exasperated now.
She flashed him a triumphant grin. "We neither confirm nor deny it. Then everyone else fills in the gaps with whatever romantic details they can imagine. It seems clandestine, so they're all a lot more interested, and everyone is happy. Oh, and I suggest we go for coffee a bit often, to keep of appearances, and because you look like you need a friend."
A friend. He felt a bit of warmth light up inside him. A true friend, whom he couldn't hide from, because she could see right through him, as easily as he could see through lead. "I would like that, Miss Roxanne."
"Roxi," he agreed.
They started going for coffee every week, and one day he offered to fly her home from work, and she refused, insisting that flying nauseated her, and shoved him into her car instead. They drove around the city, singing country music along with the radio at the top of their lungs, laughing and teasing each other.
He began to care to rescue her more than just the rest of the citizens of Metro City. Suddenly, being the hero was more fun. He had a friend, almost like a little sister, to watch over, to laugh with. As long as he could be himself with her, pretending for all of Metro City didn't seem so bad. Saving them all became less of a chore and more of a hilarious joke, especially as Megamind tried to be evil but just couldn't, and was far too stubborn to realize it. He hated Megamind a little less, for being so pure, for being so happy, and before he knew it, he loved the little guy, too. He started rooting for him—not that he would let him win, no, but he hoped that one day he would stop denying his nature and become a true hero.
On the opening day of his museum, it all happened again. There she was, his Roxanne, chained to a chair, grinning sweetly, and there he was, laughing on the screen. He realized what a good couple they would make, how perfect they were for each other, and suddenly he didn't feel like fighting anymore. The two people in the world whom he cared about, and all they had to do was look at each other and they would forget him.
"Don't worry, Roxanne, I'm coming," he said wearily.
"I'm not worrying," she assured him, smirking. He felt his spirits lift a bit. It always cheered him up, how annoyed Megamind got when Roxanne wouldn't play the proper hostage. No one could force that girl into anything.
"You'll have to know where she is to rescue her."
"We're in the abandoned observatory."
Deaf to Megamind's wails, he flew down to the observatory, glancing down at the building with the fake observatory built on the roof. He decided to play along for a little while. After all, they both knew what would happen: he would win, Megamind would go behind bars for another week, then it would begin all over again. He was so, so tired of the endless cycle.
That's when it struck him to fake his own death.
Suddenly, he had never felt more free, he had never felt more alive. Remembering how much fun he and Roxanne had had, driving around and singing country music, he decided to explore his inner rock star.
It didn't surprise him at all when only three weeks later, the two of them were at his doorstep, in his living room, looking towards him for help.
They were in love. He could see through lead, and he could see that very clearly. They were in love, and they weren't ready to admit it yet, but it was real and true and pure and everything he wasn't. He just couldn't bear to go back to pretending, not next to such a stark contrast of their goodness. He just wasn't the hero they all saw in him.
So when he watched them dedicating the Megamind museum, he had known it was coming. He had known from the very beginning, when he had first set eyes on the little blue alien. Death of his parents at eight days old, being raised in a prison by burglars and inmates, being teased and left out his whole childhood—if that couldn't twist him into a vicious, heartless villain, than nothing could. Megamind deserved someone as smart and funny and beautiful and idealistic as Roxanne, so even though it was the hardest thing he'd ever had to do, he walked away. His friends would be happy, and that was all that mattered. It was the first truly good, kind thing he had done in his life, and his heart broke and healed simultaneously.