This was the end. The end of everything my life, my love, my chances at a family. Not that he would ever want one but maybe we could have someday. Not now, not anymore. I couldn't take it; I couldn't convince my best friend to do something for me and my selfishness. Here I am waiting for the end left with people around me that I love and need to protect. I looked back at him one time so that I know I have memorized his lovely features.
His golden blonde hair slightly blowing in the wind, his deep brown eyes almost filled with tears as he watches me with understanding. His arms that held me when I cried with realization of what I had volunteered for, his lips that spoke to me, kissed me with the love he never expressed, and caressed me on those long nights. He was the one I never wanted to leave, my first love, my last love. I turned away afraid I would never be able to finish my task if I watched him any longer.
I started running never to turn back, never to see his smiling face never to feel his love envelope my very soul. Though he never said the words I longed to hear from his lips I knew he loved me. Once he had given me the earring, I was his and he was mine. This he told me often and I responded in kind. Now it was done now I have to leave this world and move to the next and I will wait for him.
I did look back one last time looking directly into his eyes and whispered 'I love you.' Turning away before I could see his response I lifted the sword high above my head and let out a final war cry. I stabbed the beast with all my strength. There was silence; I couldn't hear anything as the shock threw me, along with the others across the roof.
My eyes were open as the battle for my soul raged on inside me. I could see him running towards me tears, not yet fallen, in his eyes. He knelt down beside me and let them fall because he knew I was gone. He knew it was impossible to save me now and that is why he cried. As he cradled me in his arms they flowed from his face. He looked into my eyes one last time and leaned down to whisper the words I longed to hear in my ear. Somehow I was able to hear his words though the rest of the world was silent, 'I love you, always.'
He leaned away and closed my eyes, placing a kiss on each lid then on my lips for the last time. My eyes forever shut with the memory of his face engraved into my mind. As I finally melted away from this world I watched him shaking with his weeping and spewing curses to whoever let this happen. I watched this happen unable to comfort him, to tell him to live his life to the fullest and let me go. I went to the Maker and Andraste with the thought that one day he will be mine again.
I watched as Alistair ran across the roof. As he saw me in Zevran's arms motionless he dropped to his knees and began to weep. Wynne tried to comfort him but he shook her off. Zevran carried me down through Fort Drakon to the cheering crowds below. Even though they had won there was always a price to pay and the price had been that of my life.
She was young and beautiful but I could not tell her how I felt until she was gone. She would never know and that thought made me weep harder than before. People tried to comfort me but I looked away ashamed to show my emotions, for I was not one to let my mask down so easily. Whenever she was around it fell so often. She had to know how I felt I gave her my prized possession, but does that really matter now that my true prize was gone. The one person I ever truly loved.
I laid her down on the cold stone table. She was still so beautiful, but the warmth was fading from her body and sadness overwhelmed me again. I sobbed alone holding her hand trying to warm it. Though I knew it never to be warm again.
I went to her room to sift through whatever she had left to give to her family. As I was looking there was a letter on the desk with my name on it. I reached out and grabbed it; with great quickness I opened the letter to read its contents. I was shocked and angry, then sad. I had to read through it again to understand what she was trying to tell me.
Zevran, my love,
Please do not be angry with me for taking the final blow. I had to preserve Alistair for his duties as king. I knew that I was going to die and that was all right with me. I wish I could have told you but I knew if I did you would be able to talk me out of it. You knew we could not be together always. Please keep living your life and do not let this stop you from fulfilling your dreams. I am sad to say I will not be beside you to see this happen but I will be watching you. We will be together again someday and I will be waiting for you. I love you now and always.
I am yours,
The tears fell again as I read, dripping off my skin onto the paper. I stuffed the letter back into its sheath and left the castle unnoticed never to be back. I said my goodbyes and I would see her again someday…