So I'm giving myself a month to finish my time here on FF. I hope you all understand. I LOVE YOU GUYSS :)
So yeah, I've found Hunger Games. It's really good and although I only liked the first book, we can ignore that. I absolutely love Haymitch and I thought, oh God, he probs liked Maysilee. So oh damn, that is where this came from.
Peeta and Katniss weren't the only star crossed lovers.
When she's called up to the stage, all he can see is her eyes.
It's like drowning in blue, tears overflowing his barriers, flooding his thoughts and his safe zone.
When he sees her eyes, he breaks down. He forgets the girl he pledged his love to, the girl with the black hair and the grey eyes.
Welcome to the Games.
It's a bright day when she rushes past him and he notices her pin. It glints in his eyes, blinding him. It's a mockingjay of gold and as she runs to her best friend, the Everdeen girl, all he can see is gold.
He notices little things. Her hair and how it shines, how her eyes shine copper, how she is unlike every person in District Twelve. He doesn't know how she manages to be so happy when everyone else is lackluster in the district besides her.
He cannot manage to understand why she looks over at him with her cooper eyes and smiles. He is only a boy of little money, like all the other boys with his gray eyes and his gray smile.
He goes to the mines to work and thinks of her. He catches copper in mountains of black.
The first time she speaks to him is the most memorable moment in his existence.
"We are enemies in the arena, but I do not want to kill you. I wish we did not have to be placed here together."
He looks at her, gold and copper and innocence, and he whispers, "I've noticed you."
"I've known for a long time."
And he doesn't mean to, but he leans in ever so slightly and so does she. When their lips meet, he sees black and birds flying and he thinks of laughs and eyes as bright as stars.
She walks away, high heels clicking on train floors.
He dreams that night, of a day when he saw her dancing in the meadow.
She was flying; her arms outstretched, her dress flying around her skinny ankles, the black overtaking her pale skin.
He remembers shaking his head, how he told himself to forget about his chances. Now he laughs at himself, wishing he threw himself into her dance, into her life before because now all he wants is to be with her.
She takes his arm when he's walking from dinner, and she kisses him desperately.
"You won't hurt me when we're in the arena right?" She begs him with her sweet eyes, her voice so nervous. He will bring her to her downfall. She is not asking, but rather making him say what she wants to hear.
"I'm not sure," he says honestly.
She nods her head, and he holds her to her chest, and he knows he's said the wrong thing, but he thinks that it's better than telling her a lie. "I don't know if I could survive this," she chokes out.
He puts his head on top of hers, her hair brushing his nose, and he lets her sob into his shirt. "We have these moments."
He leads her to her room and he doesn't leave. They fall asleep clasping hands, and it feels right with her tears still lingering on him, her body pressed against his in perfect symmetry.
She knocks on his door one night, and when he opens the door, he finds her in a nightgown of white. It makes him realize how skinny and tiny she is. How innocent she is. He realizes she is one year younger, and suddenly she looks it without her makeup and her heels and her gold pin. Her golden hair is flying in disarray around her face, her copper eyes half lidded with sleep.
"Tell me a bedtime story," she mumbles.
So he puts her in his bed, and she tells him to lie next to her. He spins her a story of a boy and a girl who have it all. She looks at him with tears in her eyes, and she asks him something 15 year olds aren't supposed to ask.
"Could you make love to me?"
He avoids her eyes, "I don't think I could do that to either of us."
She nods and leaves the bed. "I can't be here with you right now."
He doesn't say a word as she opens the door and leaves.
They make it to the Capitol with their eyes dry and she wears too much makeup, her high heels are extra high and she wears her hair up high with her pin on her silk shirt. They decide she'll play the sexy girl, but he sees she's breaking before his eyes.
She comes to his bedroom door two nights before the interview, her hair floating in a bun that's coming undone, and she asks him in a small voice.
"Could you ever be in love with me?"
He looks in her eyes and says the only words he can respond with.
"I've been in love with you."
And so she kisses him deeply, and together they forget that tomorrow's their call of death. They just remember the lines of each other, the scars that mark each other, and the way they move together.
They make love, and although it's lust that floods her eyes, he thinks he can see a tomorrow in them.
The next day, she's makeup less, her hair tumbling down her sides, and her heels in the corner. She tells her makeup team that she doesn't want to be sexy; she just wants to be who she is.
When he meets up with her, he sees her timid smile and her hair drawn back. He lets himself shatter at the sight.
She doesn't play it up for the camera but rather, states that she would rather be anywhere but here. She smiles like an angel, her perfect white teeth shining like crystals. They edit her into a mess, of a smile releasing the line, "Let the games begin."
And it's not beautiful, and it makes him sick to his stomach every time he replays the video. He replays it to find a fault, to find a place where her smile faltered, to find her scream to the cameramen that SHE LOVED HIM.
He does this a lot when she dies. It's a lullaby as simple as drowning his thoughts into light brown, burgundy, gold, and copper.
When he goes to the interview, he says he'll beat them all. He doesn't mention her, doesn't say how she makes him so vulnerable and weak like he wanted to.
No, instead he said a simple threat, and answered all the questions like a good boy. Good dog, listen to your master.
And he wishes he said something, but when he leaves, they cut off his interview before he says another word.
It's the day of Hunger Games, the fucking Quarter Quell. He's imagining the blood that he'll lose, and the girl he will surely lose.
She catches him on the way to the arena, her timid smile missing, her makeup heavy and her eyes full of tears. "I'm so scared," she whispers.
He looks her in the eyes, finding copper and gold mixing together, black around her eyes and he doesn't want to forget this moment. He moves them away from sight, holding her close and whispering in her hair. "I'm not going to lose you. Somehow I will make you live."
She nods and kisses him. He remembers her taste, stores it away for another day, another life.
They walk to the arena hand in hand, their hearts full of anguish and regret. He knows they won't make it, but he wishes enough that he can taste her again. Suddenly, he knows that life won't be good either way. Life will be lost, love will be lost, and he wouldn't have a chance to yell out his rebellion.
They are separated into two different rooms, not even able to say goodbye. He worries until he's in the arena. It's breathtaking and he knows automatically that the entire thing is a trap. He runs to the golden Cornucopia, his feet telling him this was right, and his heart wondering where the golden girl was.
He grabs all the food he can muster, ducking and dodging from attacks. He forgets everything but how to kill. He gets hit in the ankle, rendering him speechless for a moment before hobbling away. He turns back to see what's going on, and he sees the golden girl fighting off an attacker. He tries to go back but he feels the pain in his ankle and he can't do a thing. He rushes as fast as he can to get himself to a safe place.
Her voice circles in songs when he tries to fall asleep. I love you, I love you, don't ever hurt me.
She finds him, her gun firmly in hand, her makeup swimming down her face. She doesn't ask him why he left, but rather if he was okay. He lets himself cry, pulling her closer to his chest and he tells her that he's so glad, so FUCKING glad, that she's okay.
She lets him hold her before she whispers, "You can't get rid of me."
And he holds her tighter because he knows one of them is going to go pretty soon.
She whispers to him when they're falling asleep, "Promise me you'll kill me if you have to. Promise me this."
He doesn't answer, just lets her think he's fallen asleep. And in the morning, she doesn't bring it up again.
They kill separately. The golden girl dips her arrows in poison. He doesn't tell her he feels queasy killing, that he's only killed bugs and once a rat. He wanders around the arena with a knife in his hands. She will come back with her eyes floating in tears, and he will come with fresh food from the Cornucopia. She knows how hard this is, and she knows that he doesn't dare kill but rather scavenges.
"Why don't you like to kill?"
He looks at her and drawls, "Do you like to kill?"
She smiles, "No, but I like to know I can kill."
"I can kill, only if I want to."
Her eyes water, "I think we should split up. Just so we don't have to see each other die. I can't imagine either of us killing each other. We know that time is ticking and it will look suspicious if neither of us leaves."
He tries to tell her to stay, but she kisses him and whispers, "I love you. I will miss you."
He screams that he loves her too and to come back because he can't handle her being alone. Instead of her footsteps coming back, he hears her shriek. He runs as fast as he can, pushing back leaves and foliage. The golden girl is surrounded by pink birds, their beaks razor sharp and looking hungry. Before he can scream to run, a bird bites her on her neck. She reaches out to him but they peck at her body and she slowly pulls back before she doesn't move any longer.
He wishes he could shoo the birds away, but he knows they will take him away. He cannot do anything but watch the hovercraft take her limp lifeless body. He waits for the birds to leave, before he throws himself on the dirt where she was only a few minutes before. He cries into the dirt, mud caked around his face as he whimpers.
He's only sixteen years old when he loses his first love.
A cannon is fired.
Dead: Maysilee Donner.
He fights for her and finds the force field. He is reminded of her when he is given the golden trophy. Goldcopperblack.
He drinks to forget her. Haymitch Abernathy is afraid of the golden girl because she has taken everything valuable and left him.
And he misses her more than anything.