Disclaimer: Kaho, Tomoyo, and Eriol are the property of CLAMP/Kodansha, I'm just…corrupting and debasing them. We all know that I'm making no money off of this, right? Good.
Dedication: Circe. Whom does that surprise?
Notes: I'm well aware that Tomoyo and Eriol are acting out of character. They insist that they're capable of what I'm about to write, though. This has no real plot, no character development, and no redeeming value, as far as I can tell. I can't believe I wrote this. All I really wanted to do was pick on Kaho. Well, I guess this'll hurt her, anyway.
"I told her I was going to end it. I promised her," Eriol gasped. He pressed his back harder against the wall, keeping his hands trapped behind him. He kept his eyes tightly shut, praying that the darkness would somehow make this easier on him. It intensified what he was feeling, but at least he couldn't see her eyes. Those tricky eyes always did him in.
"So you said when you walked in." Small, warm hands drifted down his chest, freshly manicured nails scraping over his nipples. He shuddered and tried to hold back a moan of pleasure.
"Kaho knows about us. It has to end. We have to stop meeting like this," he told her again.
"You said that, too," Tomoyo noted absently. He could feel her working his shirt out of his pants, searching for the last few fastened buttons. "Does she know it's me?"
"Wha…? I don't know. I don't know. She didn't say and I didn't ask. I was too busy trying to… oh, god, Tomoyo." He twisted slightly, arching towards the hand that had brushed against his zipper while she opened his shirt the rest of the way.
"I didn't think my name translated out to that." She shaped him against his trousers briefly, then slid her hand up again, pushing his shirt open. His hands fisted themselves in the back of the shirt in an effort to stay where they were. He felt her stretch, bite his earlobe. "But I think I like the comparison. I've never been all-powerful before. What's it like?" She rested one hand on his chest for balance and began to lap and nip her way down his throat. The other hand gripped the back of his neck, holding him still. "Do you," she murmured as she kissed her way along his collarbone, "remember what she did say?"
He tipped his head back, giving her access that he shouldn't. "She knew I was um…sleeping around, I think that's how she put it, and how could I – ah, ow - how could I do this," Tomoyo pressed her hips hard against his, "this to her? Did I –oh, oh- love her or you or whatever, god I can't think when you do that." He wanted to push her away so he could concentrate, answer her question, but he didn't trust himself to take his hands off her once he'd touched her. He knew better.
Tomoyo chuckled warmly against his chest, knowing exactly what she was doing to him. "Did she ask 'Do you love me' or 'Do you love her,' Eriol?" She lifted her head and licked- quick, teasing, little flicks- at his lips.
"Her. You." He tried to kiss her but she darted out of his reach. "I told her no, of course I didn't." He squeezed his eyes more tightly shut at the sound of fabric rustling.
"I don't love you. I love her. I love Kaho. I do." He felt cold all over without Tomoyo's hands on him. His own pressed flat against the wall. It was so hard to resist when he knew what giving into temptation would bring him.
"Of course you do, Eriol. She's very lovable." Tomoyo came back to lean against him again and he could feel that she'd taken her shirt off, her breasts hot against him, the light scratchy feeling of lace between their skin. "She loves you, and I don't. That's why we started sleeping together in the first place, isn't it? Because it's only sex between us and neither of us is going to confuse lust with love."
"I told her that I was going to tell you it was over." He hissed slightly as her hands moved down between their chests, stopping on his belt.
"And you did tell me that. Several times. Job well done, lover. You also said that you told her you were going to end it. I don't mind letting you be the one to call things off. I don't suppose you'll help me out by getting rid of that shirt, will you?" She rubbed against him with slow deliberation.
He could hear the leather of his belt creak softly, could feel it coming loose in her hands. Such warm hands. So very clever, those hands. And so close….
"I told her I wasn't going to touch you." He moaned.
"Then don't touch me. I'll touch you tonight. As long as you keep your hands to yourself, you aren't really lying to her, are you, Eriol? And you've been such a good boy so far, I'm sure you can keep control."
"That's not true. You know that's wrong, Tomoyo. Stop." He sought her hands anyway.
His eyes flew open at that. He hadn't expected her to want to stop meeting with him; although he loved Kaho, he wasn't exactly thrilled by the idea either, but to just tell him no? Normally she paid some attention to what he wanted. "Tomoyo?"
Her eyes were hot with desire, unwavering as she looked at him. "I don't feel like stopping just yet." She slipped her hand inside his fly, fingers wrapping him in a firm grip. "I don't think you want me to stop, either." She began stroking him roughly, still focused on his eyes.
He bit his lip hard, moving against her hand. He didn't want her to stop touching him until he'd taken her, until he'd heard her screaming his name in that way she had. He wanted to glut himself on her, then take more. To take her until the very act itself was profane and made him sick to his soul. "I do. I came here tonight to…"
"Have sex with me." She interrupted. "You haven't bothered to hide things from me since you came back to Japan, so don't bother with it now. You aren't a stupid man; if you were serious about it, you would have called to tell me that she found out. You wouldn't have met me here, you wouldn't have let me touch you, and you wouldn't be thrusting into my hand, hoping that I'm not going to listen to you and walk away. The shirt, please?"
He shrugged out of it without a thought. She was right. She was always right. He'd been hoping, in some dark recess of his mind, that she'd do just this. That she'd make him stay. It wasn't his fault, was it? Tomoyo had always been beautiful, and having dispensed with puberty she was truly stunning. Eriol wouldn't have been surprised to hear that every boy, and half the girls, in Tomoeda wanted her. But they didn't know just how incredibly passionate she was, that if you really understood her, heat radiated out from her. Every touch branded him, made him burn. He'd never wanted anyone the way he wanted her. Fierce, nearly uncontrollable need welled up every time he saw her.
Sex with Tomoyo was reckless and demanding and he craved it. Fire had nothing on the heat they produced in each other. And he needed to burn. His life was so cold, so dispassionate. Not to say that he wasn't loved; he most certainly was. But Kaho, beautiful, intelligent, charming Kaho, the woman he loved with all his heart, was so remote, her loving so scripted and rehearsed, that sex with her had quickly become just another chore. Something he did to keep her happy, like bringing in flowers from the gardens. It wasn't hard, but neither was it something that had any particular impact on him.
"I should stop you," he managed to whisper as she dragged him away from the wall and towards the bed.
"Oh, for Christ's sweet sake, Eriol!" She stunned him by suddenly yanking his trousers and boxers down to his ankles and shoving him back onto the bed. "Shut up, would you? Does once more really matter in the face of how many others times?" Tomoyo jerked his shoes off and tossed them carelessly behind her. His socks went next. "You need to stop acting like some kind of sexual martyr. She didn't satisfy you…when…last week? Last night? This morning? You're here, you're naked, and so" she stood and undressed quickly, coming back to straddle him on the bed, "am I. Satisfaction is right here, and one more indiscretion can't hurt her any more than the others already have." So saying, she pushed herself down on him, arching and gasping as she took him.
With a strangled cry he rose to meet her next thrust. He reached for, eager to make up for the time he'd wasted in not touching her, but found that she was faster. With a faint giggle she pushed his hands away from her. "Now, Eriol, what kind of friend would I be if I let you break your promise?" She was always so cheerful when she got her way.
"Since when is this," he drove up into her even as she drew away from him, "friends, Tomoyo? I don't think even the closest of friends could normally tell you what sexual position the other favors."
"It's friends, of a sort." She caught his wrists as he reached for her again, leaning far forward to pin them to the bed. "It's not as if we're paying each other for this. We're not in love. But we do like one another, we get along well, and we play very nicely together, don't we?" He strained against her hold, but she stretched, shifting forward so that most her weight went into keeping his hands on the bed. "Come on, now, Eriol. Play nice with Tomoyo. She's trying to do you a favor, remember?" Tomoyo teased in her little-girl voice. "If you break one promise, you'll break them all. Besides," she whispered, the tip of her tongue brushing against his ear as she spoke, "I can't move if you don't promise to behave and keep your hands to yourself."
Eriol stared up at her, struggling to process her words through the deafening sound of his own blood and the dark thrill of being even so lightly restrained. She couldn't move? Desire and laughter danced in her eyes as she continued to pin him, staying very still as she did so, even though he was just barely inside her when she was like…oh. Of course that was what she'd meant. She could pin him or fuck him, but not both.
"I'll be a good boy," he promised in a childish tone. He relaxed his arms as much as he could. "See? You can trust me."
"And why would I do that? You're very unreliable, you know."
"Because I promised to behave myself? C'mon, Tomoyo," he reasoned hopefully, "when have I ever disappointed you?"
"Hmm…that's true. You do try to be helpful." She eased back slightly, eyeing him suspiciously. "You're sure you're not just saying that so I'll move?"
He shook his head very seriously. "Promise I promise to good."
"I think I'll just have to trust you. You do have such innocent eyes, Eriol." She released his hands and sat back, taking him in with surprising force.
She didn't waste any time in getting to what she wanted, he noted. Which was just fine. He watched her move over him, his hands gripping the blanket beneath them. Without his hands, he couldn't do much from this position except let himself be used. It frustrated him to have to be so passive, which was why she did it. Usually it made his eventual release more gratifying. But not tonight; he didn't want that tonight. He wanted control, power; he wanted to be as hard and demanding with her as he possibly could. He wanted to rut like animals, goddamn it. He wanted sick and pornographic and anything in between. He wanted to defile her, though she had precious little innocence to lose. He wanted to move.
So he watched her eyes, waiting impatiently for that distant expression that told him she had stopped caring who was under her. It was one of the things he enjoyed most about sleeping with her; sometimes she just ignored everything but her own pleasure, freeing him to do the same. Kaho, on the other hand, was a big fan of mutuality. She never understood that sometimes he just wanted to let go, and humanity could go hang. He should, he thought vaguely, feel bad thinking about Kaho while he was with Tomoyo. Guilty, maybe, that he could think of her when another woman was hot around him. Later, later he'd feel remorseful. But now, oh god now he was blameless and so, too, was Tomoyo, whose bewitching eyes were glazing over and he could do anything he wanted.
He grabbed her hips and held her to him, refusing to let her move. Her eyes focused almost instantly and he was amused to see that irritation was the first emotion to flash in them, though he thought he might have seen an obscure triumph flicker deep inside before lust overrode everything else. She settled herself more firmly against him, then crossed her arms and sighed deeply, shaking her head slowly.
"Naughty boy, Eriol. You promised me you'd play nice."
"This is nice," he told her. "And I only promised to be a good boy. I'll be a very good boy to you, Tomoyo, if I get to play my way with you." He pushed her off him roughly, making her gasp surprise. He shifted and caught her up again a moment later, burying himself decisively as she cried out. "See," he continued earnestly, his hands a cruel contrast on her body, "I know this neat little game called 'Beg' that I think you'd like." He knelt and slammed them against the headboard with his next thrust. "Want to play?"
He didn't give her time to answer.
He woke up when the shower stopped running. Blinking, he watched Tomoyo step out of the bathroom, naked skin flushed and dripping as she crossed the room to her clothes. He'd left a few bruises, he noted absently. They were showing up well from the heat of her shower. He was unmarked, as usual - they hadn't managed to hide their affair for over a year by being inattentive to such little details.
"All yours, sleepy." She told him cheerfully, fishing for her panties. He grunted in reply, content to watch her. She'd braided her hair and that gave him a very nice view from right where he was. She glanced over at him as she pulled her shirt on. "It's getting late, you know. She's going to wonder why you aren't home. If she wasn't watching us, that is." He paled and she smiled almost maliciously. "Do you think she liked what she saw? We're both very beautiful, you know."
"Shut up, Tomoyo. Don't ever mention Kaho like that again." He glared and she laughed.
"You liked that idea, didn't you? God, you're sick sometimes, Eriol." She strolled over and whipped the sheet off him, tossing it aside casually. "Thought so. Go shower, sweetie, I don't have time for more. I still have an essay to finish and I haven't even looked at my math homework. Damn it." She'd gone back to getting dressed as he continued to scowl at her from the bed.
"What now?" This was also normal…they were coolly mean to one another in the aftermath of their sin. The times when sex was gentle between them necessitated such cruelty. He thought they both rather liked it.
"Busted the zipper." She held up her skirt, frowning. "Good thing I brought my purse. I know I've got some safety pins in there."
He smirked and got up to shower. There was something to be said for a girl who'd break her own zipper in her haste to bed him.
"Doesn't your mother ever wonder where you are?"
"Not really. She knows I've got a lover. She trusts me." She glanced up, nearly sticking herself as she did. "What are you going to tell Kaho? That you've been out at a café all night, trying to deal with your overwhelming guilt and shame?"
He glared again. "Yes, actually, I am. It's my last night of freedom, if you must know. I'll be going directly home after school or club meetings starting Monday. I have to give her a reason to start trusting me again."
"Poor little boy, is Mummy grounding you, too?" She chuckled. "Well, then, I guess we really won't be able to meet like this again."
Eriol paused in the door to the bath, thinking. It was something like being watched over by an angry mother. Except Kaho had already made love to him, trying to make certain he knew what he was leaving his lover for. It hadn't been any more earth shattering than the other times. It wasn't nearly as exciting as the last few hours in this hotel room with Tomoyo had been. He'd been acting like a man drinking all the water he could in preparation for walking out into the desert. But he'd still see Tomoyo almost every day at school. Every desert had an oasis, didn't it?
"Not like this," he agreed, watching her tuck her bra into her jacket pocket rather than untangle it. She was almost to the door when he spoke again. Like bringing water with him, they had most of their classes together.
"I have second period free."
She turned and raised an eyebrow. "I have peer-study groups then. But I'm already ahead of the class. I bet I could get out of it every now and again."
He nodded and stepped into the shower. They'd just have to be more careful. Kaho didn't understand how much he needed this. What she didn't know couldn't hurt her, at least not any more than tonight had.
Chelle's final note: I can't believe I wrote this. You have no idea how much blushing and fluttering and Ew! Oh, jeez, you two!'ing I did. I've never done … well, as Circe puts it, porn…before. Strange Gray Days nearly broke my nerves writing it. I have no idea if this is any good, or if it's just all icky and in bad taste. As it is, this fic scares me. I'm 24 as I write this, and I'm so embarrassed by myself that I could just hide.
If you want to see a really well done, R rated ExT, go check out Suppi-chan's Lie to Me. It just flows so well, and the prose is so rich, the situation so real, that you'll never regret it. Kit Spooner has After the Fall and the start of Adam and Eve. Darker than Suppi-chan's (in some ways) and just as good. They can both be found in my Favorite Authors section. Lie to Me is under Favorite Stories, if that's all you're after.
Go check out my favorite authors, really. They inspire and entertain me, and I'm sure they'll have something you like. I can't say enough good things about them, and I'm terrible at reviews. I'm such a squealing fangirl when I finish a good fic.
Circe's Grace note: As flustered as this makes us, we also managed to joke about it a great deal. He's not cheating on Kaho—it's an addiction. Tomoyo gets to be a hospital staffer. It went something like this (and remember, if you say out loud, with Tomoyo using a sweet, happy, chirpy voice, it's a lot funnier):
Eriol: It's an illness, Kaho! I need treatment.
Tomoyo: *in a candy stripper apron and nothing more* I can't do more than bring you flowers, but I'll go get your nurse!
Kaho: *aghast* An illness?! Really.
Tomoyo: *still in the apron, but now with a stethoscope and a nurse's hat* That's right! *waves merrily* I'm Tomoyo and I'll be your nurse today!
Eriol: It's an addiction! I need help, Kaho…not condemnation! *eyes Tomoyo* I need treatment.
Tomoyo: Well, I'm not qualified for that…but I'll go find the doctor!
Kaho: Now, really!
Eriol: I'm a sick, sick man; I can't help it.
Tomoyo: *wearing a lab coat and nothing else* Hi! I'm Tomoyo, the attending physician!
Eriol: *beams* Oh, yeah…