A/N: I do NOT own Twilight
When Edward had left her, she'd been devastated and rightfully so; this was after all the person she'd planned on spending eternity with. But after a few months of wallowing in misery and wondering why she hadn't been good enough, she finally realized just how stupid she'd been. And once the fog that had been clouding her brain disappeared she started to see Edward Cullen and her relationship with him in a whole new light. She came to the conclusion that Edward Cullen was, simply put, an idiot douche bag and that there was in fact nothing wrong with her. She realized how foolish and naive it had been to latch onto him and his family the way that she had and she really should have seen the ending coming, perhaps not the particular ending that took place, but nonetheless she should have known that he would someday leave her.
Once she looked back on all the things that had taken place during her relationship with Edward, she begun to see just how wrong for each other they were. For starters there was the fact that he was a vampire and she was human, and not just any old average human…but a human who happened to be his 'singer'; that should have been enough to send her running for the hills but she'd done the exact opposite. She also realized that her being with Edward had forced a wedge between her and Charlie, they hadn't been extremely close but still, being with Edward had created a lot of secrecy and lying; all of which Bella had never really been comfortable with, but she'd done it for Edward so that they could be together. And upon this particular conclusion she realized she wasn't just stupid….she was a complete and utter idiot. She was giving up so much to be with Edward, keeping secrets and lying to everyone outside of the Cullen's and what had Edward given up? What secrets did he have to keep? What lies did he have to tell? Sure there was the whole vampire thing he couldn't tell the humans about but other than that there was nothing he'd had to keep secret. But Bella, well she pretty much ditched her friends because there was so much about her relationship with Edward that she just couldn't talk about. At least within in the walls of his home, Edward was free to tell his family any and everything, but Bella didn't have that same luxury. She couldn't tell Charlie what Edward really was, she always had to make excuses for why he acted a certain way or why he could never come to dinner. Then she began to think on what a future with Edward would have meant and she began to feel even more idiotic, if that was even possible.
A future with Edward Cullen meant that Bella would've had to give up everything and everyone. All those things and people that had made Isabella Swan who she was would no longer be a part of her. She would've had to give up her parents, they would've spent the rest of their lives wondering what had happened to their daughter; they would've had to grieve for the loss of their only child while never really knowing where she'd gone or what had happened to her. How could she have been so willing to do that to them; to cause them such pain? In truth she'd never really stopped to think on it all. All she had been able to see was Edward Cullen. And then it really hit her, Edward had never and would never have to give up anything at all to be with her. There wouldn't be sacrifices or any losses for him…..but for her; sacrifices and losses were all there were. Sure Edward Cullen had been the prize at the end, but now when she thought about it…Edward Cullen was the crappiest prize ever. In fact, he was no prize at all.
A/N: Paul will most likely come in sometime in chapter 3. Bella will be spending time with Jake; however, I'll kind of be skipping over the whole mopey/zombie/falling apart Bella. This chapter here is my alternative to that. Future chapters will be longer. Review if you'd like.