Hetalia Shinobi Powers

Disclaimer: Not mine and I make no profit.


In the Elemental continent size doesn't equal power, nor does power equal independence. The great Elemental countries are mighty, but the greatest power they can bring to bear are their vassals – to such degree that their own forces are diminished and some don't take this well at all, oh no. Kaze no Kuni is so embarrassed by this that he would turn against his hidden village again and again.

But the greatest among them is the best regarded. Konoha is a Lady of War. She is the gem among Hino no Kuni's underlings, ever graceful when wielding her naginata, ever fierce in defending her liege lord and he appreciates this. She has come out on top of three Great Shinobi Wars, tended her wounds and returned to the mercenary business while her opponents (and usually allies also) were still picking themselves up from the ground, groaning and wondering whether they were even going to survive this. She is the Best. Everyone knows it.

She isn't unerring, though, No one knows that Konoha is a mother, not ever Konoha - for her kind that is indeed possible. But she is usually at the top of her game.

(She is the Will of Fire, she is every Hokage who sacrificed themselves, every ninja from the lowest genin to the Sannin. She is on the edge of a blade being hones and in the gleam of kunoichi's eyes as she seduces her opponent, she is in the jutsu libraries and out in the fields.)

She is also a lot kinder soul than many give her credit for, yet at the same time nowhere near as soft as they think – it isn't her fault people have such contradicting expectations of her. The truth is that she doesn't like hurting people, that she actually likes Iwa, who isn't going to talk to her for ages, and while fighting is the salt of life politics make everything sour in her opinion; she would much prefer to stop while everyone is still having fun. And people don't really take the time to get to know her. They don't know that she always wears something orange, even if it is only the hem of her kimono, that she actually would prefer a visit to a ramen bar or a dango diner over formal tea ceremony and that she really likes gardening and flying a kite. She also has quite quirky sense of humour, but everyone always takes her so seriously, looking "underneath the underneath" and finding all kinds of hidden messages when she has only made a pun.

Some of them are pretty good too, in her opinion. It would be nice to get a second opinion.

"You have called for a forbidden technique, but is it such trouble to call for my aid?" asks General Byakugan, rising one regal eyebrow. He is much too formal to disagree with his liegelady in any but the most careful manner, at least in public. He has his issues and lots of them, Konoha thinks, but he is unfailingly loyal.

"I need you to protect my people from the calamity. Keep me from bleeding out," she orders as she ties a kunai sheath to the underside of her forearm. And he bows to her. Ever respectful, ever loyal, ever distant.

(She is also every child and every elder in their rocking chairs, every maiden in love and every circus performer balancing on a tightrope and dancing a funny dance on a barrel turned upside down. She sleeps in cradles, she stands vigil beside death beds and ties the hitai-ite around her forehead for the first time every time a new class graduates from the Academy.)

Her house is small, but comfortable as well as easily defensible. She can remember a time when it was simple and austere. Back then she was a harsher woman than she is now, on the ragged edge of dangerous, but times change and people change. Now she has an electric stove and a soft bed with bright-coloured blankets and pillows, she has warm slippers next to her bed and an alarm clock shaped like a frog, and like her house she has gentled. She grew powerful enough to afford it, she has a generous lord who allows her the luxury of (comparatively) high morals.

She may prefer friendly fights that end with the comforting knowledge that both parties consider the time well spent, but this time she doesn't care for her opponent and that is just as good. Who doesn't love to kill the Monster? She walks out of her house her head held high and a small smile playing on her lips. Now it is time to pick her naginata up again and defend her life. A cuirass, shoulder guards and armoured sleeves made of finest steel, her lucky orange obi, a truly staggering amount of sharp, pointy things as secondary and tertiary weapons and the infamous Shiki Fūjin clear in her mind, every motion etched into her memory; she is as ready as they become.

"But why does this has to happen now? Everything was going so well," she asks, but of course there is no one to answer her. It isn't very satisfying to complain for the sake of complaining if there is no one to hear you; the shinobi villages are all rather solitary, most by nature, all by circumstance. "Note to self: form closer ties with Suna." Really, just someone cheering her on would be nice.

She feels the malicious chakra before she feels the tremors, like acid oozing from the very air. The ground shakes and the sea is boiling, retreating and then returning in a terrifying, death-blue wall that will break upon the shore and wash the land away, a hurricane sends her trees flying like chopstick, and she stands like a rock in the face of all this destruction. And in its wake comes killing intent strong enough to almost push even Konoha down on her knees; death, the air whispered, death, destruction, fire, burningdeathendofall…. Forest fires followed its paws, mountains were upturned by one swish of its tails and its roar washes Konoha's vision red with very uncharacteristic blood lust.

Kyūbi no Yōko. A demonic fox with fire-orange fur and blood-red slit eyes, his breath is raw, corroding chakra, his form closest to that of Jūbi.

And on its head rides might-have-been-Kage Sharingan. Konoha allows herself a tight little smile. All of Sharingan are ambitious and fickle allies, but she had given this man a chance anyway. She had believed him dead. Now it is time to rectify that error. She summons Gamabunta, her most faithful retainer, and she swings her naginata, jumping on top of his head.

"I seem to be in trouble again," she says apologetically. Gamabunta unsheathes his tantō in response.

"It has been some time since I have seen of his ilk. Those have no business walking on earth," is his answer. Konoha smiles her ferocious smile, her war smile, and it is terrifying to behold.

Because she isn't some backwater farmer town or a home to merchants, she isn't weakened by filthy slums where misery and poverty make people animals just so they might live one more day like the big cities of Edo and Kyoto are. She is beautiful inside and out, and if not outright perfect, well, who is? She is Konoha and Konoha will dig in her heels and stand to meet her enemies her head held high. There is more to her than meets the eye and Konoha would like to have that known, but if non-Kage Sharingan is going in thinking he is taking on a tree-hugging damsel he has clearly become senile in his old age. Iwa had marched, ready to slaughter, but as much as Konoha liked him she had struck him down. (But spared him, always spared him.) Bloody Mist and Kumo had allied themselves with him, only to be struck down also. Suna had betrayed her and regretted that decision.

Why had her cute little sister betrayed her anyway? Note to self: find some non-offensive way to ask Suna.

"Sharingan, Kyūbi, we are to meet our maker and only one of us will walk out of here with their life."

(She is the Will of Fire, she is every Hokage who sacrificed themselves and every ninja who followed their example. She is everyone who stands against overwhelming odds and rescues victory from the jaws of defeat, at the cost of their lives or not. She is every person who loves the village and lives and dies for it.)

(She is the shinobi and kunoichi, she is every child and mother, every medic and shopkeeper and blacksmith. She is a dreamer and a gardener and an appreciator of some not-so-classy things in life, but above all she is the Lady of War and now things are going to get hurt.)


AN: Talk about strange inspirations. Still, I can barely believe this isn't more popular concept than it is.