Noah Puckerman stared out the bus window in a daze. He couldn't think, it was almost as if he'd forgotten how. Quinn Fabray had just given birth to his baby girl, and she was giving her up for adoption. She'd just given up their child like that, barely even paying attention to Noah's eye pleading to keep her. When he first discovered Quinn was pregnant, he had wanted nothing to do with it. Of course, he knew he'd have to help provide for the pregnancy, and help Quinn throughout the nine-month period, but he never would have thought twice about keeping her. It wasn't until a few months earlier, that he'd realized what importance this was. She was going to be his first child, possibly even his only child, and he wanted to at least make sure she was healthy and happy before sending her off to a whole new life and family.
But, when he saw those innocent little blue eyes starring up at him, those little lips turned up in a simple smile, those arms reaching up at him, something changed within him. All he wanted to do was scoop her up in his arms and feel her warmth. He wanted to hold onto her fragile frame and protect her from all evil.
Earlier that day:
Quinn held the child up to him, smiling up at him from the hospital bed she lay in.
"Hold her," she said, still breathless from the birth. "She wants you." His face was expressionless when he scooped her up and held her close to him, her tiny breaths blowing gently against his chest. She looked up at him and smiled, weakly grabbing onto his nose with her tiny hands. He smiled back at her, one-handedly reaching out to pinch her nose gently between his index finger and thumb. She giggled and swatted his fingers away, making a little squealing noise. Quinn laughed from the bed, observing the scene tiredly. "She likes your nose," she said in awe, her breath finally back. "Look, she's got your nose, too!" she exclaimed and laughed again. Her tiny nose was button-like, but more down-turned than a button nose, kind of like a pug-nose but it fit her face differently.
"I never knew I had such a cute nose," Noah sad, stifling a chuckle. There was a knock on the door, startling the newborn child and causing her to gasp and look at her father, before giggling again and clutching at his shirt.
"Is it safe in here?" He heard a familiar and rather annoying voice ask. Berry. Shit.
"Yes, it's safe, Rachel," Quinn called from the bed. The door slid open to reveal Rachel Berry, clad in performance attire, an impatient expression painted across her face.
"We gotta catch the bus, Noah," she told him, gesturing him to come on. He looked at his baby; she had a worried expression on her face, as if she knew he was going to leave. "Sorry, Beth, Daddy's gotta go," he said, before kissing her forehead and brushing stray curly dark hairs, his curly dark hairs, from her eyes, and placing her gently next to her mother. "I'll be back," he whispered into her ears. Just those simple words seem to bring a small smile to Beth's face, before she fell asleep. But maybe it was just an illusion.
Cold winds blew harshly through the open bus window near where he sat alone, in his dazed state. He hadn't blinked once in at least two hours, he was too afraid he'd start to tear up, and crying isn't exactly the most badass way to handle your problems. He felt someone sit next to him, and looked up to see Kurt Hummel casually crossing his legs, and sniffing simply. Noah was actually happy someone cared enough to sit down next to him, but he couldn't let that show through his hard shell.
"What do you want, Hummel?" He asked in the most annoyed voice he could, his voice only cracking slightly from trying to keep from crying. Kurt sighed, pulling off hiss white and blue striped scarf, and handing it to him. Noah sighed, and rudely rolled his eyes.
"I'm sorry if I got some trash on your new 'Marc Jacobs' scarf when I tossed you last Friday, kay Hummel?" he asked, raising a brow. Kurt rolled his eyes, and held it out a little further.
"For your information, it's a Gucci scarf," he stated, sniffing snootily, "and it's for you," he raised his eyebrows in a concerned manner, seeing the hidden pain in the jock's eyes. Noah's mouth dropped open, he really wasn't expecting that. He had thrown this kid in the dumpster every day since the 6th grade, and now he was offering him his scarf? That just wasn't what happened in the real world.
"What makes you think I want your women's winter apparel?" he mimicked the small boy with his words, deliberately speaking the way he did. Kurt stared him down, as if he was some sort of low-life form.
"Because it's -5° outside," he stated matter-of-factly, "And you're sitting next to a wide open window, shivering," he cocked his head as if asking him, 'Got it Scruffy? Got it? Good dog!' "And because it's a men's scarf, for your information," he sent death glares in the Jock's direction, still holding out the scarf. Noah didn't even realize the cold blowing in from the window, or the fact that he was shivering immensely. He quickly glanced around the bus, everyone else were wearing warm coats. He looked at the scarf again, and back at Kurt's eyes, which were still glaring at him. The glares made it like a bribe from the devil or something. He was tempted to take the scarf from him, but he just couldn't.
"It's not that cold," he lied, shivering more as he spoke. Karma came back for his lies, sending a rapid gust of cold wind in from the window, causing Noah's teeth to chatter. "I can wait until we're back at the school, it's not that long of a wait," he lied. Again. Kurt rolled his eyes at this.
"Okay, yes, 5° below 0 is that cold," he stated, annoyed. "And yes, two hours is that long of a wait." Noah shivered again just thinking about two more hours of lonely coldness, but shook his head no.
"I don't want your gay scarf, Hummel!" he exclaimed, anger in his eyes. But, it was clear his mind wasn't fully set on the scarf, and Kurt had a pretty good idea of what it was on. He chose to ignore the little 'gay' comment, deciding that the argument would get them nowhere.
"Whoa there, Noah!" he exclaimed, "Cool down! Why are you so upset? I just thought maybe you wanted someone to talk to and some warmth, rather than freezing your ass off with no one to talk to." Noah knew Kurt was right, but he rolled his eyes anyway.
"Well, I don't. Especially not captain homo." He retorted, slouching in his seat.
"I know you wouldn't get so worked up about a scarf, no sensible person would," Which…kind of does exclude you, though… Kurt thought to himself. "And it kinda hurts when you're trying to be sincerely kind to someone, and then they shit on you, but -sigh-, if you want to tell me what's really bothering you, I'm always here to listen" He explained gently. "But, if you don't tell me now," he explained in a fully serious voice. "You might lose your only chance at telling anyone." He leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes, not expecting the other boy to say anything.
Instead, he heard a rather loud and exaggerated sigh.
"Sorry, Kurt, I'm just really pissed right now," he said, breathing shaky a breath. "It's about Beth," he said, looking Kurt in his pretty blue eyes, which were now looking back at him, at attention. "I just know Quinn's gonna put her up for adoption," he explained, face palming as he did so. "But, I kinda wanna keep her." He closed his eyes tight, trying not to cry. When the urge subsided, he looked at Kurt again, who looked back with genuinely sorry eyes. "But I guess I have no say." He couldn't help it now; a single tear remained in the corner of his eye, and finally fell slowly down his cheek. Thankfully, no one had seemed to notice. Except Kurt, of course. Kurt sighed, putting a hand on Noah's, still shivering and ice cold, shoulder. He waited for Noah's eyes to meet his, before speaking.
"I guess there's nothing you can really do," he sighed again, and this time, gripped Noah's hand firmly. Noah's hand twitched, but accepted the grasp. "Except forget about it." At these words Noah finally broke down crying, burying himself into Kurt's chest.
"I can't just forget about her!" he said in between shaky breaths and sobs. "She's my fucking daughter!"
The entire bus observed the scene. Noah Puckerman, badass Noah Puckerman, was crying? Onto Captain Homo's chest? It wasn't exactly what one would witness everyday. Kurt was taken completely off-guard by this, and fretted. He had no idea whatsoever what he was doing. He shot Cedes a worried glance, mouthing 'What the fuck do I do!' to her, with panicked lost eyes. She shrugged, having not the faintest clue what was going on. He whipped his head around the bus, seeing the speechless glee club stare with bug-eyes at the scene, he was pretty sure he heard Santana mutter something like 'So not a turn on.' He had no idea what to do, so he just hugged onto the boy's head, letting him cry to him.
"Noah, I know it's hard, but you're just gonna have to let go of that dream," he said, gently patting the crying boy's head. "Life's like that sometimes, Noah. We can't always get what we want." The glee club sighed, and led into a chorus of soft ooh's.
You can't always get what you want.
They reprised the song they had sang once, a long while back, in soft sad voices, too a much slower tempo.
You can't always get what you want.
You can't always get what you want.
Kurt pushed Noah in front of him, holding his tear-stained face in between his hands.
But if you try sometimes you might find.
Kurt sang his solo so genuinely it made Noah start crying again.
You get what you…
They sang 'you' one note higher than the other words, holding it out 3 measures.
They sang one note lower than the others, and held it out 5 measures.
Noah sniffled and looked at the glee club through teary eyes. He would have been embarrassed, but he knew they were all just sympathizing with him. He chose, just this once, to not be a douchebag.
"Thanks so much, guys," he said quickly, letting a couple of tears lose again, before sitting down again.
From the seat in front of him, Finn turned around and mouthed the words, 'you okay?' to him, concern in his eyes. Noah nodded and gave him a 'thumps up' sign, sniffling again.
Kurt and Noah sat in silence, barely not making eye contact. Noah finallyu broke the silence, tapping Kurt on the shoulder. He turned around, and nodded, encouraging him to go on.
"Uh, Kurt?" he addressed him by his first name, a little shy, "Do you think I'll ever have another baby girl?" He looked utterly serious. Kurt smiled.
"Well, I can't be certain about the girl part," he said, chuckling. Noah lightened up a little and chuckled, too. "But, Noah, I'm pretty positive that you'll have a baby one day." He said, putting a hand down on Noah's knee. "One that's yours to keep." At this Noah smiled, and a single tear fell down his cheek again. Kurt was positive it was a happy tear.
The wind blew rapidly in through the window still, this time even cold enough to make Kurt, who was bundled up in a warm black Marc Jacobs coat and a black Chanel beanie and leather gloves, shiver. He couldn't help but notice Noah shivering again, with his arms crossed against his chest. He tried not to make eye contact with the boy, not wanting to embarrass him any more.
Moments later, Noah sneezed loudly. The entire glee club jumped from their seats. Kurt sighed, and held the scarf out again.
"Take the scarf, Noah," he demanded. The shivering boy looked up with innocent eyes. "You've probably already caught a cold by now." Noah sighed again, but reluctantly took the scarf and wrapped it around his neck. Kurt was impressed, he thought Noah would have no idea how to put it on, but he had actually put it on quite stylishly.
Kurt picked up on Santana chattering away again.
'Okay, I lied. That was adorable, what Puck just did. And how Kurt gave him the scarf? A-DORABLE!' He could hear Brittany giggling and squealing with her.
"Thanks, Kurt," he replied, before sniffing and sneezing again into his cupped hands, he hadn't seemed to hear them.
The bus came to a stop, and the glee club all ran out the bus, in desperate need for their heated cars. Noah and Kurt were the last to get off. Kurt walked at a normal pace, and Noah slowly trailed behind.
"Kurt?" Noah asked as they stepped out of the bus. Kurt met his eyes again.
"Yes, Noah?" he asked, still sympathizing for him.
"Thanks again," he told him, blushing bright red from embarrassment. "For everything." Kurt smiled, and leaned in to hug Noah again. When they let go, he finally spoke again.
"Its fine, Noah. Sometimes everyone needs a little therapy session," Kurt's blue eyes stared into Noah's hazel ones, meeting in true sympathy.
"Oh yeah, your scarf," Noah began tugging it from his neck. He held it back out to Kurt. "Thanks." Kurt stared down at the scarf in Noah's hands, smiling again.
"Keep it," he said, and began to turn on his heel.
"You sure?" Noah asked, looking at it again. "It looks kinda expensive." Kurt laughed. He really wanted to just say 'If you really want to look good, everything is expensive Noah,' though, of course, he didn't.
"Yeah, I'm sure," he said, turning back around for just a moment. "I was planning on getting some more tomorrow, actually." Lie. But, it didn't really matter. He had billions in his closet he hadn't worn yet, one less scarf wouldn't be all that important.
"Thanks," he said, as they began to walk their separate ways. "Oh, and Hummel?" he called again, as Kurt turned back around. "You tell anyone outside of glee about this, and you're a dead fag." Kurt knew he should have taken it offensive, but he just smiled.
"Wasn't planning on it!" he called back. As he turned around again, out of the corner of his eye, he saw Noah smile. Not the usual smirk, a real, genuine smile. One that he had never seen before. He had one thought as he walked away. Maybe, just maybe, he's not that bad after all.
As he walked away, Noah had one thought as well. Maybe, just maybe, he's right. Yeah, I'll have a better life then this shit someday.
The second thought that came to their minds though, was the same for each.
Maybe, just maybe, that someday when it turns out alright, I'll still have him here, the most amazing friend I've ever made.