A/N. ((Found this on my flash drive. I wrote it last year around this time and JUST NOW figured out an ending on it. Kinda sucks, but it's there. Go eat the fluff.
Oh, the NaNo mentioned below can be found on Fictionpress and bought from CreateSpace. So please sponsor a nerd and buy/advertise my books pleasekthnxbai.
This killed my brains cells. For those of you who would like to know, there will be a memorial service for those hard working little cellies who slaved away the majority of November, trying to complete the deadly NaNoWriMo, only to fall victim to fluff written while intoxicated with youtube videos of Twilight parody trailers, the Wynaut episode (you all know what I'm talking about, right? Leichi berries and creepy old men and those bouncy blue pokemon who hold orgies every night or something) and the repressing logic of her NaNo.
And for those of you who were hoping that, maybe, by the wonders of Ho-oh, I would actually update one of the stories I already have going? I tried. Went though the CS archives and all the terribly sentimental fluff made me write this. In all my good natured pessimistic revolutionary pervyness.
Oh, and I hope the title insulted no one. I just threw some at the wall and this was the only one that stuck.
Romancing a Blonde Brunette
"You're gonna make it worse."
"Shut up! I won't! Don't be such a baby."
May scowled as she pushed Drew's head forward, wielding a cotton ball with authority. "And keep your head down. You hair's getting in the way."
"Just get it over with. We're getting odd looks." Drew raised his head fractionally, only to have it forced back down again.
"Your own fault for trying to catch Skitty. I warned you not to!"
Drew muttered something about 'pokemon' and 'well trained' only to hiss in pain as May dabbed a little too hard with the cotton ball doused with hydrogen peroxide.
"How I was supposed to know she'd run under a thorn bush anyway? Miracle she wasn't hurt, too."
Indeed, this kitten Pokemon who had led Drew on a wild Farfetch'd chase throughout National Park of the Johto Region - one of the last places still filled with legendaries and shiny pokemon and thorn bushes - seemed to have her own permanent Safeguard set up, for she was sitting unscathed at the green-haired boy's feet, mewing happily and pawing at his bangs. The coordinators had somehow managed to run into each other in the Park, May busy playing with Skitty between contests and Drew on the lookout for a Natu to add to his Pokemon team. This had led to Skitty going suddenly feral and refusing to be returned, and Drew trying to capture her the good old fashioned way when she had crawled under that stupid bush.
The jagged line on the back of the teenaged coordinator's neck was proof of just how dangerous a Wild Thornbush's Scratch attack could be, and as Drew sat on the ground in front of a bench, May behind him as acting doctor, he really began to regret coming to this Arceus-forsaken park.
Then again, there were worse things to dote on you than your pretty brunette-who-acts-blonde rival. Like Chanceys - the last thing you'd ever want to see in a nurse's outfit. But May wasn't, and sometimes in those sleepless nights in a lonely hotel room, he'd wonder just how she would look in a nurse's outfit.
Maybe it was the heat of the day, but the burning sensation on the back of his neck started to run presently down his spine.
"Ow!" He hissed again, brought suddenly back to the land of the living and modest. "What are you doing back there?"
"Cleaning out the wound, of course. We wouldn't want Mr. Pretty Boy to scar would we?" She slathered on a heavy dose of sarcasm in the last sentence. "Nooooo."
"So, you finally admit I'm pretty," he chuckled.
"But of course. All the contest judges want to have their way with you."
Wincing a little again, he replied cooly with, "Only the judges?"
May chuckled back, Drew imagining a whooshing noise as the flirtatious comment flew over her head. He certainly had a pretty rival, but she really could be dense whenever he tried to directly flirt with her. How many roses did 'Beautifly' have now, 17? You'd think she would have caught on.
Perhaps stereotypes were wrong and all, but May had always seemed the airhead blonde type. She wasn't stupid or anything like that; she just tended to miss things. Big things. Romantic things.
"It's like using Attract on a Ditto," he muttered.
"Did you say something?"
"Nope," he replied almost cheerfully, as May taped a bandage on the back of his neck.
"There we go," she cooed, sitting back and letting Drew stand again. He stretched carefully; relieved the throbbing in his neck at least was gone.
"So that's what you carry in that poor little fanny pack," he concluded lazily as he took his seat beside her, releasing Roselia casually. The grass Pokemon was soon scolding the oblivious Skitty for damaging Drew as the kitten Pokemon resumed chasing her tail.
A little too late, he wondered if May would ask how much time he spent studying her 'fanny pack', but was again blessed with having a rival who would miss a Shiny Butterfree flying right in front of her. Ironically enough, there was a Butterfree a few feet away, but it was not a special color so Drew stayed where he was as May packed away her medical supplies.
"I can fit a lot of things in here, Drew. I'm just surprised you don't carry around things like this," she finished, and passed him a scornful glance. "One day, you're going to get hurt and have no one to look after you."
"Then why don't you start traveling with me? I could use a personal nurse, " he chuckled, flashing her a suggestive look with his startlingly green eyes. She, however, had already looked away and placed Skitty on her lap and was delicately feeding the pink kitten Pokeblocks with her fingers. Oh, how Drew wished he could have been that Skitty.
Then again, he'd rather have May on his lap.
Roselia bopped him lightly on the leg. "Rosa." You're getting a nosebleed.
He took her warning and toned down the suggestion a little. "So, where are you headed next, May?"
"Probably Ecruteak - the city north of here. I'm really looking forward to seeing the Dance Theatre." She smiled joyfully, as Skitty licked some leftover Pokeblock powder from the brunette's fingers. "I've heard so many stories about the Kimono Girls."
Oh, damn that lucky Skitty.
"Ah, is that so? I'm on my way there myself, coming from Violet City - perhaps you'd like to travel there with me?"
May put her hand on her chin and leaned forward thoughtfully. "It's been a few years since I traveled with anybody; back when I first started coordinating." She sighed, shapely chest rising and falling with the movement. "But, all right."
She gave Drew a childish thumbs up. "Maybe I will be your nurse after all."
"Arceus be praised if you do," Drew chuckled to himself, checking to make sure he didn't really have a nosebleed. Oh my. This was going to be interesting.
Sadly, the trip to Ecruteak was at the longest, a one-day trip. No shared hotel room and cliched close-contact-leading-to-romantic-confessions for him. Ah well, Drew mused, flicking his bangs sexily because he felt like it. It wasn't his style anyway to go with an earnest confession. He was more of the sweep-you-off-your-feet or seduce-you-senseless type.
May was lost in her own little world as they walked, staging her video diaries, 'May's Adventures' as she walked beside him, framing his face with her fingers and narrating like Professor Oak might in a documentary.
"And here we have the elusive 'Cocky Rival', who is still recovering from the dangerous Scratch Attack of a wild Thornbush." Here she 'zoomed in' on his neck, warm breath tickling the skin as she continued with her cheerful play-acting.
"I swear you get a little more crazy every time I run into you," he chuckled, conscious of his ears starting to go red - the first part of his body to blush - as she giggled into the fine hairs at the nape of his neck.
"Did I mention to you all that he has lost his ability to have fun?"
"Oh, have I?" he chuckled again, deepening his voice seductively. "Perhaps you and I just have different definitions of 'fun'."
The girl behind the imaginary camera was silent for a moment, and Drew imagined the sound of cogs grinding in her head. Then, those brilliant blue eyes lit up with understanding, and she slapped his forearm.
"You're a pervert!"
"No more than any normal, doggedly sexy teenage boy," he defended, rubbing his arm and smirking at his companion. "And before you counter with 'Ash isn't like you', remember just how much of that criteria that guy fills."
"You're so mean to him," she huffed, crossing her arms and forgetting all about 'May's Adventures', at least for the time being. "Jerk."
"And yet here you still are," he replied, mock-mystefied as she snorted.
"There's only one path to Ecruteak."
"You could run," he offered, trying his best to work her up and succeeding, naturally. He was very good at two things - coordinating and pestering girls.
She rolled her eyes. "Like I want to be a sweaty mess by the time I get there."
Drew bit his tongue. He'd certainly like to make her a sweaty mess, but one more suggestive comment would probably be one too many. He'd have to bide his time. He'd certainly waited long enough already. What was another day?
Or maybe ten minutes. Damn it, she was getting into his head and undermining his reason like an Acid attack.
"So," she grinned, changing the subject cheerfully, "how have you been?"
He smirked, considering his response options. Sexually frustrated, how about you? was certainly straightforward, but he was always one to beat around the bush. "Busy winning ribbons and hearts, everywhere I go."
"I bet you steal them," she chided him. Drew smirked, drawn closer.
"Hardly. The ladies practically throw themselves at me. Of course, I politely decline."
"You?" She snorted, crossing her arms in a way that accentuated her cleavage, "I can't imagine you doing anything politely."
He winced, accentuating the expression for effect. "You wound me so. But love is a serious matter, you know."
"Please. Like you'd take a girl seriously."
The hot feeling in his gut intensified, burning with hurt now. "What makes you think that?"
Startled by the sudden sting in his voice - frankly, he'd been surprised by it, too - May blinked dazedly at him. "I just, um... read it somewhere. What's with you?"
Miffed but refusing to show it, Drew stretched leisurely. "Just curious."
They walked on in silence for a while, as the trees gathered around them like the protective wings of a mother Farfetch'd. Then May spoke up.
"It's true, isn't it?"
Drew snapped out of his thoughts - most of which had been contest related, and forcibly so - to give her a quizzical glance. "What?"
"That you don't take girls seriously."
He reached up to flick his bangs and give a condescending reply, then changed his mind and sighed. "I would if I could find one worth taking seriously. Why?" Honestly though, he'd already found one, but it was too much damn fun to be a tease.
May looked startled, as though he'd said the worst possible thing at the worst possibly moment and she wanted to run for cover, but she shook her head, turning it decidedly. "No reason, I guess," she muttered, her voice a see through singsong.
He stopped dead in the path; she ran into him, and he caught her wrist, turning her face to see the wistful look in her clear, deceit less eyes that looked far too weary for his tastes.
"What's wrong, May?"
He'd surprised himself again, with the soft tones of his voice. But, for once, he was speaking from the heart and it felt good. Better even than her skin under his fingertips.
"It's fine. I can't- can't tell you, anyway." She stammered, adorably. Swallowing, he felt his pulse quicken again. Dear Arceus, she was going to kill him at this rate.
"And why not? I'd tease you?"
She cast him a nervous glance through sapphire eyes, with an emotion he sympathized with flickering behind them like guttering flames.
She liked him. He liked her back, obviously; but if he kissed her now, she'd never believe him. She'd call him out as a flirt, a tease, for taking advantage of her; she'd be right for the first two points but she'd evidently not noticed the many, many times he'd found her alone in a secluded area and held back.
Talk about some karmic backlash.
He released her, and she started walking again, hiding her face behind her hands. "We-ell," he drawled, feeling a sick pit in his stomach, "this is a fine mess I've gotten myself in."
May stopped, and scowled curiously at him, as he drew a rose out of seemingly thin air and brushed the petals against his lips contemplatively; wondering if, assuming this all played out as he hoped it would, her lips would feel as smooth.
"What?" She'd regained a bit of her spunk in her confusion; he shrugged fluidly, making it up as he went.
"Oh, you know. I've only been dropping hints about how I feel for you since the third rose, but I suppose it's my own fault." At her blush, he winked. "I probably overestimated your smarts."
Right on cue, her fists balled up in fury. "Hey- what are you talking about?"
"Oh, my poor little blonde brunette. But I can't blame you for being so suspicious about someone as amazing as myself falling for someone like you."
"What are you- Arg, you're such a stuck up jerk! That's not fair!" The flames had ignited her eyes as she leaned forward, glaring at him a few feet away. Her position made the neckline of her shirt dip considerably, and had Drew not been busy trying to play the Chessmaster he would have appreciated the sight better.
"Bet you don't even have the guts to kiss me," he hooted. She moved faster than he'd anticipated, pinning his unresistant body to a tree. A spur of wood dug into the back of his neck, and he let out a brief, seething hiss.
Then the press of her furious lips against his made him forget the rest of his body for a moment, but before he could reciprocate she pulled away from him.
"Ha," she snorted. Drew couldn't help but feel disappointed. In fact, he'd just been rather brutally reminded of his body. And it was not very happy with him.
Dropping his voice to a lusty purr, he studied her from behind silken green bangs. "Is that all you've got? Tsk tsk, May. Guess I'll have to show you what a real kiss is."
It was his turn to pin her to the tree, and he took his time in kissing her, savoring the feel of her face cupped in his hands and her knees brushing the outsides of his thighs. Then, all too soon, she'd pushed him away.
"Wait a second," she exclaimed. Drew suppressed the urge to roll his eyes - along with a few other urges.
"Yes, May?" He asked, his voice almost a rasp as he drew the first word out with exaggerated patience.
"Did you just confess your love for me?"
He heaved a sigh of long suffering. "Yes, May. I love you. I've loved you for quite some time now. Weren't you listening?" A smirk crossed his face, and he gave a low chuckle. "Or were you distracted by my sexy?"
But she was unperturbed; in fact, she was beaming. It was adorable, in the most depressing sort of way since she'd gained an immunity to his charms, apparently. "I love you, too, Drew."
Then she continued on her way without a care in the world, having relieved him of his rose - quite frankly, he'd forgotten it the moment they kissed - and the feeling of loss was replaced by one of gain.
"So, are you going to be my personal nurse from now on?" He asked, hoping he didn't sound too desperate.
May shrugged. "I'll think about it."
But the smile on her slightly swollen lips boosted his confidence, and assured him he wouldn't be alone anymore. He could do a lot worse then fall in love with a blonde brunette.
((this whole thing had f-cking mood whiplash. I'm sorry. This was also the at least third rewriting, but I'm posting it anyway since I like Drew's manner of confession. And his good natured desparation. Which I think works because, Arceus bless her, May's a bit of an airhead.
But, seriously, I'm surprised May typically believes his confessions in other stories, including my own. I mean, isn't he pretty much the master of insulting compliments? I mean, apart from the amazingly obvious power of sexy.
Reviews would be awesome. Sorry for mostly/sort of jumping the Contestship. ^^~
Be back slightly more in December; not that I think senior year and subsequentially college is going to be pulling any punches.))