A/N: Feeling a bit down and this happened. Angsty. Set after 513.

Disclaimer: QAF belongs to Cowlip.

Better This Way

Brian has to stuff his fist into his mouth to stop the words spilling from his lips. He's horrified by the sensation of something akin to an iron fist clamping down on his heart, making him feel like he can't breathe, like he can't think, like he can barely survive this moment without saying those words. Justin is silent on the other end of the phone, waiting for Brian to say something. The silence stretches on and eventually Justin sighs.

"I guess I'll just let you get on with whatever it is you've got to do," the regret and hurt are strong in Justin's voice and Brian feels them like they're his own emotions.

"Yeah," he chokes out "Busy busy."

"Ok. I'll talk to you... I'll talk to you whenever," there's another breathy little sigh of disappointment "I love you."

Justin doesn't wait for Brian to respond, knows that he's not going to say it, and hangs up. The dial tone is harsh in Brian's ears and he lets out a little whimper.

"I love you too," he murmurs, dropping the phone to the floor and sinking back into the safety of his duvet.

He doesn't want to Justin to know that he's been curled up here ever since the blonde twink left for New York, the same way he can't tell him how much he misses him, how much he needs him, how much he loves him. He can't let Justin come running back just because Brian is drowning. Brian would much rather he fell as hard as he can so Justin can soar.

It's better this way.


A/N: Reviews would be amazing.