The World in a Grain of Sand

Chapter 12 – Conversations

"I trust you," I assured him. "It's me I don't trust."

"Explain that, please."

He'd slowed to a walk–I could only tell because the wind ceased–and I guessed that we weren't far from the house. In fact, I thought I could make out the sound of the river rushing somewhere close by in the darkness.

"Well–" I struggled to find the right way to phrase it. "I don't trust myself to be… enough. To deserve you or your family. There's nothing about me that could hold you."

He stopped and reached around to pull me from his back. His gentle hands did not release me; after he'd set me on my feet again, he wrapped his arms tightly around me, hugging me to his chest.

"Your hold is permanent and unbreakable," he whispered. "Never doubt that."

But how could I not?

He led me through the open front door into the dark house and flipped the lights on. The room was just as I'd remembered it–the piano and the white couches and the pale, massive staircase. No dust, no white sheets.

Carlisle called out the names with no more volume than I'd use in regular conversation.

"Edward? Esme? Rosalie? Emmett? Jasper? Alice?" They would hear.

Jasper was suddenly standing beside me, as if he'd been there all along. "Welcome back, Bella." He smiled. "What can we do for you this morning? I imagine, due to the hour, that this is not a purely social visit?"

I nodded. "I'd like to talk to everyone at once, if that's okay."

"Why don't we talk in the other room?" Carlisle said.

Carlisle led the way through the bright living room, around the corner to the dining room, turning on lights as he went. The walls were white, the ceilings high, like the living room. In the center of the room, under the low-hanging chandelier, was a large, polished oval table surrounded by eight chairs. Carlisle held out a chair for me at the head. I'd never seen the Cullens use the dining room table before–it was just a prop. They didn't eat in the house.

As soon as I turned to sit in the chair, I saw that we were not alone. Jasper had followed Carlisle, and behind him the rest of the family filed in. Except Esme. Carlisle sat down on my right and Edward on my left. Esme came in into the room a minute later. She looked very sad. Taking a breath, she spoke to Carlisle.

"Why did you never tell me?"

"It was too painful. I tried to forget, but the most I could do was not think of it. I am sorry."

Hey. I know I haven't updated in forever. I'm sorry. I lost inspiration for Twilight fanfiction in general. I figured that a few hundred words was better than nothing at all. RL sucks. I don't know when I'll update again. I'm planning on doing not one, but three big bangs. For those of you who don't know what that is, it's a fanfiction challenge of sorts over on LJ.

For example: I'm signed up to do the vampire big bang. I have to write a 10,000 word fic with a vampire as a main character. With this one, you can pick and fandom you want and can turn any character you want into a vampire. After you write a rough draft, an artist will sign up and claim your fic. They'll then create the art for your fic. It can be a playlist to go with the fic, a video, ect. The only catch is you have to submit a complete fic and can't post it before your assigned posting date. I'm signed up for 2 more of these. The second one is a big bang devoted solely to Star Trek that requires 20k. The last one is specifically for the horror genre & is 10k min. Here are the dates, so you have an idea of exactly how crazy I am.

I will try to get a chapter up somewhere in all this chaos. Especially since I'm planning on using my horror big bang for National Novel Writing Month or NaNoWriMo. That lovely event is where you write a 50k original fiction novel in 30 days. From Nov. 1st to 30th. I'll also be do art for all of these big bangs and Classic Star Trek Big Bang. This author's note is the same length as the chapter.

Horror Big Bang

+ Author sign-ups open May 16th
+ Author sign ups close on June 20th
+ Mixer/Artist sign-ups open June 21st
+ Draft and summaries due October 1st
+ Claining for Artists/Mixers opens October 2nd
+ Final drafts due October 31st
+ Posting begins November 5th

Star Trek Big Bang

May 15th - Sign Ups Open
June 1st - Author Sign Ups Close
September 1st - Artist/Mixer Sign Ups close + Fic Rough Drafts Due
September 3rd - Artist/Mixer Claims Open
October 10th - Art/Mix Rough Drafts Due
October 15th - Big Bang Posting Begins!
November 15th - End of Big Bang Posting

Vampire Big Bang

Author sign-ups start – April 17th, 2011
Author sign-ups end - June 20th, 2011
Checkpoint #1 – May 7th, 2011
Checkpoint #2 – June 11th, 2011
Checkpoint #3 – July 16th, 2011
Rough Drafts due – August 1st, 2011
Author/Artists Claiming Opens – August 6th, 2011
Final Fic and Art Due – September 23rd, 2011
Posting Starts – October 1st, 2011