A/N: I'm throwing this out there simply because I haven't posted on my other Angel fics in awhile, and probably won't be able to due to Thanksgiving. I'm running the kitchen this year, plus having Quote *Unexpected family* Quote showing up on that holiday; things may get a little crazy around here. So here's something for any A/C lovers hearts delight. Even A/C non lovers probably might like this. Either way, it's something funny a bit steamy that will turn into a three part one shot series.

Spoilers: Season 3. After the Billy episode. Things are settled down and all.

Disclaimer: I do not own the logo on Cordy's T-shirt in the fic. And Joss owns ANGEL and everything to do with the series, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah... The song, "Right Thurr" belongs to Chingy. I guess. He's the one who sings it.. I'm just barrowing it for a little female minuplation fic. Muah! Ha ha ha ha ha! Oh, and I know the song wasn't recorded till 2003, but for the sake of my plot, I'm switching the dates on that little fact. I can do that, you know. This is fiction, not fact.

Cleaning Day Yumminess In The Hyperion Hotel

Part One

Right Thurr

It was strange how life turns out. Particularly for a vampire who technically, isn't alive. But, even for Angel, the expression meant the same. He supposed that he should be used to the turbulent and sneaky ways life changes course. He was two hundred and forty nine years old, (not two hundred and fifty as his persistent seer insists) so the turn of events that happen shouldn't really surprise him. And yet, it does. Or more correctly, she does. His best friend and seer.

It wasn't just the visions and the way she puts on a brave face despite of the horror and pain she experiences, though God knows he admired her to the point of sheer amazement and adoration. No, it was just the person she was, is, and grows into with each passing year. There was a time he never particularly cared to know who the seemingly snobby, air headed rich May Queen was. Like everyone else, he took what she offered face value while his full focus was solely on the slayer. Now, he cringes at times when he remembers how he allowed himself to put her in the box that her very, almost, authentic mask had convinced him and the other Sunnydale residents to do.

But as for the present, he's thankful to know her. To have Cordelia Chase in his life. Those thoughts no longer baffled him like they did in the first year of working together. Instead, he found himself comforted and a bit proud of seeing what others rarely get the pleasure of seeing. Her heart. Without the barriers that kept the princess from the peasants and knights who at times fought to see her rare, true beauty that only the spirit and soul within can give... Now that train of thought did throw him, especially with the butterflies that suddenly sprang to life in his well toned stomach.

Which brings him to the, "Whoa!' parts of his brain. Being around Cordy lately has been making him feel things that he's never felt before... Well, maybe he did allow the stray male appreciation thoughts to pass through when he first met the brazen young woman. But those... unwelcome feelings and traitorous thoughts became more frequent since he got to know the brunette there in LA. And with it came guilt for thinking about his one and only girl, best friend that he's ever had in his entire miserable existence. But lately... the guilt wasn't accompanying him, and neither was his hateful blame on his demon flying anymore. These thoughts and sneaky lusting moments came not only during his demonic moments, but also when his hold over his darker instincts were as tight and calm as they can be... Which means...

Those disturbing thoughts were interrupted by this loud yet smooth music from the hotel lobby. Frowning, he placed the book Wesley had assigned him on the new boss's desk, and stood up. His first instinct was to shut the office doors, but with the distraction of the two enthusiastic males at the office window, he left that idea for the moment to check out what had them so... mesmerized. And hiding as they turned off the lights and edged on either side of the clear glass.

"Hey guys, what's-"

Wesley's bony hand raised up, signaling for silence. The action stirred up his dominant nature in all the wrong ways, but he did give the much younger man the reigns of this business... No sense in pissing off the boss. The guy seemed to have a hard on for long, torturous lectures that go on and on and on.

"Silence now; talk later."

Okay, that was just rude!

"Can someone tell me why Cordelia always plays that racket in my hotel during her cleaning sprees?"

It was Gunn now who took action without looking as one hand reached up and snagged his jaw to show him exactly what called for no talking. Angel's eyes widened, completely taken off kilter for the next ever. And then some.

It was common knowledge that his seer got filing work done faster with music playing in the background. And from what he heard from the other two who mentioned enthusiastically lately, she got cleaning done faster also with music that had some 'Oomph!' to it. Unfortunately, the music was a bit too much 'Oomph' for Angel's old world, music loving taste buds. The only modern music he allowed himself to enjoy stopped after the fifties... Well, Barry Manilow was an exception, but anything else that differed from the smooth singer was crossing his proverbial drawn out line... till now.

She was dressed in a tight, white tank top with the words, "Good Girls Just Never Got Caught" printed in pretty scripted words in black, with a pink glow behind them. A black and pink highlighted devils tail was emerged from the word 'Good', hanging seductively over the word, "Got". Some say a picture says a thousand words. They never met the Queen who makes words a deadly art form.

Her even tighter black jeans that hung dangerouly low on those hips made the already tempting vision beyond anything heavenly. It was down right sinful. Shoulder length hair wild and carefree framed her exotic features, bounced almost seductively around her beautiful face. Curves that should be outlawed began to sway as she began to strut with a broom in hand towards the middle of the lobby. The show now just starting to begin...

Uh, hey dirty, (What?)

Look at that girl right there (Oh)

She make me say

Ooh, ooh, (yeah) ooh, ooh, (hey) do what you do

Angel's mouth dropped as she began to gyraite her hips while performing professional dance moves, all the while sweeping without missing a beep. Using it as her sexy dance partner.

I like the way you do that right thurr (right thurr!)

Switch your hips when you're walkin', let down your hurr (let down your hurr!)

I like the way you do that right thurr (right thurr!)

Lick your lips when you're talkin', that made me stare

Mouth still open, Angel felt the need to breathe... Hard. The way her hips had whacked sharply when the statement of her hips switch and walking was close to dirty and passionate as anything he's seen her get. The way she licked her lips while she leaned up against the broom and closed her eyes passionately crossed the line, and nearly had him crossing it as well. Especially when her mouth parted to make an even more sultry moan then the woman on the CD made during several parts of the song.

A unintelligeable sound escaped his parted lips. The other two peeping males grunted their agreement.

"Cleaning days around here are really..." Wesley gulped when the brunette wiggled her ass a certain way that nearly dried his mouth of all saliva. "Interesting."

Angel couldn't comment since the saliva in his mouth was having the opposite affect. If the two had taken their undivided attention off the sensual brunette for a a few seconds, they would have caught the suspicious liquid dripping down the vampire's chin just before he wiped it off with his dark Burgundy sleeve. His hungry eyes clinging to those tightly clad jeans that molded perfectly to her legs, thighs, and generous bottom. And the thong that peeked out just below her bright tattoo was more tempting then the serpant in the Garden of Edan. At that moment, Angel knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that there was a God, and that he didn't hate him as he once thought.


I like the way you look in them pants, see ya fine (fine)

Lil' momma a quarter piece, she fare from a dime (dime)

The type of girl that'll getcha' up and go make you grind (grind)

All three shivered, while one particular dead person began to pant at the images that flooded his brain like a tsunami... Yes, pant. Vampires only did that during two things. When they're backed in a corner, and when... well, you get the picture.

I'm thinkin' about snatchin' her up, dirty, makin' her mine

Oh god, there also was a hell here on earth! That particular line was proof as a very vivid image of himself grabbing his seer and throwing the sudden rival males out of his office came without warning. The satisfaction of the two cowering away so the top dog could make her his in every way possible was blurring the lines of fantasy and reality. Legs wrapped around his waist as he pleasures her in the human animal traditional way, and fangs piercing her neck to claim. He'll have to say more then a dozen hail Mary's for not feeling one ounce of guilt over that. Notta... Zilch.

Look at her hips, (what?) look at her legs, ain't she stacked? (stacked)

I sure wouldn't mind hittin' that from the back (back)

Did this rapper know ever single one of his fantasies? Maybe he was a psychic demon who took interest in a vampire's most hidden of fantasies, and decided to put them in this damn song! After all, he had nothing but those same, deeply, hidden fantasies to warm him at night since he couldn't tan, date, and sing.

I like it when I touch it cuz she moan a l'il bit

Jeans saggin' so I can see her thong a l'ill bit

"When has Cordelia started to clean willingly? And when did she do it like... Mmmm... that," the vampire purred. Then he frowned. "And how come she never cleaned in front of me like this?"

I know you grown a little bit, twenty years old, you legal

Don't trip off my people, just hop in the regal

I swooped on her like an eagle swoopin' down on its prey

I know you popular, but you gon' be famous today

Angel's hands clenched tightly to his sides, really wanting to do as the song suggested and become like that bird of prey. Especially when she bounced over to the counter, one leg hook around the broom as she somehow balanced it while rubbing against it when Chingy made a pleasurable 'Ah!' sounds just before he broke back into the chorus. Singing it twice.

Gunn's eyes followed his friend's movements as she quickly switched to a cloth and cleaner without breaking the flow to clean the counter tops. A dreamy smile appeared on his face when her hips swayed and swiveled in a mimic of sexual nature. "Right after you fired us, man."

He shivered as she finished with the counter, dropping the cloth and cleaner on top of the surface as a finger lazily trailed down her body while the other hand grabbed the broom again.

"It made goin' to work not that bad, actually," Gunn finished saying. "Me and Wes got to see this almost every day, thanks to that unknown ranky smell in the old place."

"Oh, those were some happy days actually," Wesley replied. Eyes widened when her cleavage bounced for good measure when she performed some quick foot work with the broom closer to the window. "I know it certainly helped me with the uncertain ones."

"Why in the hell didn't you guys call me?" Angel accused, two large hands placing themselves against the cool glass. "Damn it! I would've had my epiphany sooner, you selfish pricks!"

Angel heard the two chuckled and risked one, quick glance at the two smiling, knowing men on either side of him... And was that a wink he just saw?

"What? I'm just sayin', things would've gone differently... Much differently... Rat Bastards."

She be shoppin' in Frontenac

Just look at her front and back

Man she so stacked and she know that I want that

Her man, he's so whacked, girl can I taste yo cat

"Is the cat what I think..." Angel's question trailed off when one hand dipped dangerously low down south, though not all the way. Just enough to get attention and imaginations over heated.

Gave her three hundred to strip, like buyin' a throwback

She stay in the club, (club) I can be seein' she got it honest

In real life, girl remind me of Pocahontas

She be at events, (yeah) so I'm impressed when she pass (yeah)

All the high rollin' cats wanna pay for that ass

That's when he realized that he wasn't the only one tempted by this dancing, modern day siren. Honestly, if he didn't see the two as his family and property, he would tear out their eyeballs right there and shove them up their asses. That and... he just couldn't take his eyes off of her as her movements were starting to get explicit with that broom.

Ain't no half steppin' (steppin') she strapped wit a nice weapon (weapon)

Trick, it's against the law for her to move them hips

If you ever seen her dirty, your mouth gon' drop

Worldwide fools probably tell you this off tops

The song switched back to the chorus, which had all three sighing with pleasure and anticipation.

"Damn, damn, damn! I love cleaning day! Thank you, God. I don't deserve this, but thanks all the same," Gunn whispered fervently. Wesley added an Amen and 'Hail Mary, full of grace' to that.

Angel then glared at the two darkly. Did he actually think these two as family? Ha! More like intruders on his turf. There was only one alpha male in this group who got praying, bragging, and ogling rights over the dancing brunette. And that was him. Angel. Big honcho, and the vampire who knew that guilt wouldn't be a factor if he ripped out their spinal chords to choke them with it.

Angel... is... vampire. Here him 'Grr!" and "Argh!"

As the chorus came to a close, the young black man's face brightened as he began to nearly plaster his face to the window.

"Here it comes. You guys don't want to miss the next parts coming up."

Before the vampire could give in to his violent urges, Cordelia turned her back to her private audience and tensed. Muscles ready for action. Her next moves saved the unwary humans in the darkened office.

I like the way she doin' that (c'mon)

Plus I like it when she bring it back (say it)

Ooh, (uh-huh) ooh, ooh, ooh, (uh-huh) do what you do (whoo)

I like the way she doin' that (c'mon)

Plus I like it when she bring it back (say it)

Ooh, (uh-huh) ooh, ooh, ooh, (uh-huh) do what you do (whoo)

Her hips had slowed and moved with the grace of the wave of the oceans. Powerful, smooth, and enticing as well as deadly if you get lost in them. With each "Ooh" and "Uh-huh," the three would faintly say the words along with the rapper, eyes glued on the illegal hips of hers.

"I love this part coming up," Gunn sighed.

"What- Oh... shit," Angel groaned when her liquid-y movements turned all the way dirty. The broom her pole and prop.

Gimme what you got for a pork chop (uh)

She threw it at me like I was a short-stop (uh)

Workin in a Fatty Girl Halter Top

Then she back it up on and let it drop (drop)

That was it. Angel was completely gone. Pupils dilated as she demonstrated the perfect drop and bouncing bunny ass move. And it didn't stop. God... Satan... Maybe he'll thank them both. God for creating this creature just for him, and the dark fallen angel for tempting her to learn such delicious, mind blowing... mind blowing... uh... moves...

Make it hop (boing) like a bunny (bunny)

Peter rabbit cottan tail had nothing on his seer. If she bounced that way the first time he met her, she would have had this care bear with fangs bouncing along with her all the way home.

Girl can I touch you where it's sunny

"God, yes!"

This time, it was the two humans who gave the vampire a chilling stare. Sure, they were enjoying this private show, (despite their brotherly affections for the young beauty) but that didn't mean that they had to like or approve of the vampire finally expressing his attraction to his seer so... so man-ish. Cordelia was not meant to be screwed with by interested Male's eyes so bluntly. Ogled? Yes. A tinge of wanting and desire? Okay. But like a vampire who's face is set in a Angelus like glee? Hell no!

Not noticing the other's clouded over faces, the vampire continued to devour his seer with his unwavering dark eyes. Angel needn't to ask what that last line meant. Out of the entire song, he understood those words without the need of interpretation.

"You guys should have told me about this," he whimpered. "Nobody tells me anything."

Her appearance will make you give her some money

She should pose for Sports illustrated

It's like a picture perfect site.

When she passes all the other girls hate it

(But I...)

Cordy twirled around, facing the three peepers. The guys quickly hid. Wes and Gunn having it easy due to already hiding partially behind the wall on either side of the office window. Angel panicked like a deer caught in headlights. After a second or two, he swiveled around, eyes searching the area frantically.

With a muttered curse, the Englishman grabbed the dead Irish man's sleeve and yanked down to signal him. The dense vampire caught on flopped noisily on the floor. The two winced and peeked out to see if the dancing, cleaning brunette noticed the whole thing. But she seemingly didn't, never stopping with her sweeping and dancing.

The two sighed with relief.

"I-Is she-"

"No, you bloody Moran! She didn't see or hear your pathetic attempts of hiding. And you wander why we never said anything about this!"

"Watch it boy, or I'll sew your eyes shut and feed your tongue to a-"

"Could you two white, European perfectionists shut the hell up so the American can watch our girl finish the song in peace?"

Not replying, the two turned their eyes back at the brunette's finally that was coming up. Angel kept still on his haunches, his eyes just reaching over the window seal to watch almost virtually unseen. Brown eyes now black, he watched as the broom stick took its place between her legs as she partially humped it to the slowing beat. Repeating the echo parts with the singer.

I like that (uh-huh)

I like that (uh-huh)

I like that (uh-huh)

I like that (Track stars)

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, do what you do

I like that (yeah)

I like that (yeah)

I like that (yeah)

I like that (Chingy)

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, do what you do

The lazy beat slowed even more for a bit longer, Cordelia's movements slowly ceasing with it. Finally, the song ended. Muscles relaxing, she went over to the CD player on the front counter and pressed pause. The three men quickly turned on the lights in the office and tried to appear busy as she entered. Wesley rummaging through his bookshelves, Gunn snatching his Game-boy and pretending to play it when it wasn't even on, and Angel snatching the heavy tomb that was given to him earlier with his nose almost literally buried in it.

"Whoo! Cleaning is a work out of its own," Cordy said cheerfully as she rummaged through the mini refridgerator in the corner. All eyes earnestly tried to keep away from the enticing firm and bouncy bum in the air. "I swear, I should make my own excercise video. My ass and thighs are even more toned then when I was the head cheerleader!"

The book in Angel's hands fell limply on the desk, his brown eyes eating up the view she went and offered him. Her hand squeezing and rubbing to make her point.

"See? Who needs Richard Simmons when you got Cordelia Chase? She teaches you how to clean and dance while you work out the problem areas!"

"Who needs Richard Simmons," Angel agreed breathlessly, aching to touch and feel for himself.

"Well, I swept the lobby and dusted everything. But I am a little breathless, and that Richer-Shae demon did leave a lot of stains that will be hell to get out. So, would one of you mind helping me? I'll teach you some of my techniques-"

"I WILL," the men shouted in unison, up and ready to do whatever the golden goddess asked of them.

"Good. There's some of that new oxyclean I ordered the other day with the floor polisher in the janitors closet, on the top shelf. I couldn't reach it-"

The three were off like a shot. Pushing, shoving, and snarling as they bolted for the door. Of course, Angel was the victor as he unfairly and literally shoved the two down and leaped over their sprawled bodies.

"It's time to stake his pasty ass," growled Gunn as he and the Brit stumbled up while attempting to fallow the retreating vamp.

"I'll grab the stakes," Wesley agreed as the two left the brunette in the office.

"And I'll get the turbo mini vacuum," Gunn added.

Alone, Cordelia Chase allowed a victorious smug smile to finally appear. With a sexy sway to her hips, she went back out in the empty lobby to lay on one of the red/orange couches. Hands behind her head, she hummed a cheer to herself as the pounding footsteps and curses reached her ears with satisfaction. By the end of the day, she'll have the three cleaning for her while she dances around a bit without having to do any more actual work. Life was good.

"I still got it."

What she didn't count on was the way the vampire had been devouring her with his eyes. Something she's personally never experienced from him... ever. She couldn't help but admit to herself on exactly what and why the slayer fell for the dark, gorgeous, salty goodness so fast. Not many guys who were drool worthy could burn you up with a single glance. To literally want to offer anything the guy asked with no pride getting in the way is definitly unusual, though understandable in Angel's case. She's never met one male like that... Till now. Buffy officially had her complete respect.

Shaking her head while pushing away the funny feeling in her stomach, she instead decided to relax and enjoy her control while it lasted.

"Hey Cordy! I got lunch," the willowy Texan announced as she entered the hotel with her usual bag of tacos. "Where's all the guys?"

With a twinkle in her eyes, she replied, "Oh, getting ready to mop and polish the lobby."

"Really," asked the inquisitive Fred. "I don't think I actually seen all three clean at once before... Wait, did you do that thing you told me about!"

With a cheeky grin at the giggling woman's questions, she gave the not so crazy ex-Pylean a wink and replied, "Yup. Had them moaning along with me."

A twince of jealously and sadness entered Fred's big, brown eyes all too quickly.

"All... three of them?"

Feeling like kicking herself for saying too much, especially since the quiet but invigorating brunette had a crush on a certain handsome man in the A.I. team.

"Well, Gunn and Wesley weren't as into it as Angel was. In fact, I think if we join forces, you and I can get all three to clean the entire hotel for us. Top to bottom."

The Texan blushed, still having the wallflower within showing up here and there.

"Oh no! Not me, I-I couldn't-"


The two shrieked as the vampire suddenly appeared, wearing a older set of clothes with his white tank top that caressed his rock hard abs and pecks in the most delicious of ways. Cordy found herself gulping and unable to say anything while Fred gave the two a knowing smile.

Ahhh! Kye-rumption and Moira! Just like Xena and Hades... Or Xena and Hercules... Well, Angel's kinda both mixed together, what with the hero-ness and the demon within and the blood drinking and jumping through portals for her and... I really need to stop catching up on TV and get a life.

Her brown eyes left the sizzling warrior and seer to look at the sulking, somewhat bruised losers that finally made it back. Both pair of eyes connected with Fred's, instantly losing the Cordelia worship while going back to what their hearts truly yearned for.

Gosh, I hope he isn't a little in love with Cordelia too. Not that I would blame him, but... She's Angel's, which is a relief 'cause she's so obviously loves him too. I just-"

Both Gunn and Wesley approached the smiling Ms. Burkle. Smiles illuminaiting their handsome faces.

I think I could fall for him.

A/N: And that it's for the first one. I hope it wasn't to smutty or A.I. men perv oriented. It's just every time I hear that song, I have this picture popping up in my brain. And yes, I'm not used to writing such... well, heated moments. Anywho, don't get the wrong idea of Cordy being a shameless whatever or other, it's just her subconscious trying to get some reaction out of Angel... And maybe still seeing if 'Boy Slayer' was still a title she deserved. LoL

More to come!