Notes: This is set now-ish in the current show timeline, so sort of following Rose/Katerina.

For the record, I am actually working on something longer and a little more serious than the fluff I've been coming out with lately. But for now, more fluff! And yes, the title means what you think it means. This really is a story about Damon being turned into a frog. I'm just warning you.

The Miss Mystic Falls Runner-Up and the Frog


"Seriously, ya got nothing, is that all you have to say for yourself?" Damon said.

They were on Bonnie's front porch; she hadn't wanted to invite him inside for obvious reasons. Now she was regretting agreeing to talk to him at all. It wasn't her fault she couldn't help with the whole moonstone curse thing, and she'd already told Elena she couldn't do it. But of course Damon wouldn't let it go at just that.

Arms wrapped around herself, she replied, "What do you want from me?"

"Oh, I don't know, how about anything that might actually help us with this little life or death situation we're dealing with right now as opposed to the giant load of squat you've come up with so far. Are you a witch or not?"

"Yes, I'm a witch, but in case you haven't forgotten, I've been a witch for about six months now. I don't have all the answers. Almost all my information comes from Emily, and she never had to deal with any of this stuff."

"What about your beloved 'Grams', she was a witch, a much better witch than you're shaping up to be - didn't she leave any of her old witchy juj-ju stuff around?"

Her jaw dropped as he spoke. She could not believe his nerve. "Do not talk to me about Grams. Don't you dare."

"Oh, whatever. This was a waste of time. You know, you'd think you'd be just a little more helpful, what with it being your BFF's life on the line and all. Guess Elena's gonna die because Sabrina over here's still on her training wheels." With a last look of disgust thrown her way, he turned to go.

She was so mad. Beyond mad. As if she didn't feel bad enough about not being able to help Elena as it was, and here he was just coming to rub it in, and worse - taunt her about her grandmother's death.

She couldn't move, she couldn't yell, she was so furious at him. She just stared at his back as he took the steps down off the porch, crossing her yard as he headed for his car parked on the curb.

The words came to her almost as if out of nowhere, and she found herself muttering them under her breath before she even realised what she was doing.

Afterward, she would think about how she had never really believed that the spell would come to anything.

But back in the present, one moment she was staring balefully at the back of Damon Salvatore's head, and the next she had finished uttering the last syllable of the incantation, and there was a brief and wholly unexpected flash of light right in the middle of her front lawn.


He felt something seize hold of him, like some great force that gripped his entire body at once. Waves of power racketed through him and he convulsed with pain too great for him to even scream. This was it; he was dying. Suddenly everything went very bright, and then everything went utterly dark, and it stopped.

Whatever had just happened to him was gone as if it had never been.

But it was still dark, and as he came back to himself he realised there was something heavy covering him. He tried to move and it was like he was buried under a big tarp, or some kind of thick, rough cloth. Had a marquee tent collapsed on him? That didn't make any sense. Last thing he remembered, he'd been talking to Bonnie and then...

Wait, what had the witch done to him? She'd done something, obviously, some kind of spell. Vindictive little thing. The question was, what?

He struggled more, trying to escape the seemingly endless mounds of whatever it was surrounding him on all sides. That was when he heard someone, Bonnie, calling his name. He couldn't have missed it, she was shouting loud enough. He opened his mouth to call back but all that came out was a rough croak. He tried clearing his throat but it didn't help, and he gave up.

He redoubled his efforts to escape, crawling between the stiff layers, feeling his irritation at this bizarre situation growing with every inch covered, till he finally caught sight of light ahead. He made his way towards it as quickly as he could.

After what felt like hours in the strange, cloying darkness, he emerged into the light.

And that's when things got really weird.