Readers: STOP here if you haven't read Epilogues one and two. Then read this and the A/N at the end of this…er, conversation. Thanks!
Not an outtake…not even close.
Edward: Hello, love! How are you today? Did you get that mess you made of my story on fanfiction straightened out yet? You look positively frazzled, my dear.
Me: Okay. Can I begin by saying that when you tell a woman she looks "frazzled" that is simply an Edwardian way of saying that she looks like shit? Because it is.
Secondly, it is not YOUR story, it's mine. You are simply a figment that originally manifested in Stephenie Meyer's brain and then hopped from writer to writer and spread like some kind of weird-ass virus… which I apparently contracted back in 2010 . You're like Typhoid Mary or something! And honestly…you're hard to cure because you manifest differently in everyone's head and are the master of disguise. You're like the Influenza pandemic flu of 1917. Maybe we should call you the Fandemic flu of 2005 that influenzed millions of women.
Finally, yes, I fixed most of the issues on MY story early this morning. Extremely early, as in 1:30 am, which is why, as you so eloquently put it, I "look positively frazzled."
Edward: Oh love…I'm so sorry. I beg your pardon Jayne; I never meant to insult you. Trust me when I say that was never my intent. You look lovely, as always. Are those dungarees new? They certainly enhance your figure!
Me: Oh for Pete's sakes… stop trying to dazzle me and save that shit for Bella. And dungaree's…really, Edward? You're dating yourself here.
Edward: Dating myself? Is that possible? Besides you know that I am already married… to Bella (you married us yourself by channeling Rev. Weber, last summer.) In any event…all teasing and mocking aside…what are, if any, your plans for Bella and me? Do you have any thoughts about future moments or possibly a sequel?
Me: Umm, today is probably NOT a good idea to ask me that question because I am as you put it, frazzled, and I am also exhausted. But since my readers are also sending me PM's with this same question, I will simply ask that they put me on alert as I do have a few ideas in mind.
Edward: Why don't you grab your bathing costume, a cold beverage, and your Kindle and head down to the pool for a few hours? I think you deserve a bit of rest and relaxation. Besides I fear I am about to "manifest" again and soon. I understand Rochelle and Savage are updating today and Camilla has a new plot bunny (must brush up on my Italian) hopping about in her head. And don't even get me started on Kiya and Windymes…they both take forever to update and when they do it's within days of each other and by God-Australia is a damn big continent. I would like to spend a little time with Bella and the children, you know!
Me: (Grabbing bathing "costume", beverage (Mich Ultra) Kindle, and car keys.)
Okie dokie Eddie boy! I'll catch ya in between plot bunnies and updates then. I love ya, kiddo!
Edward: I love you too…most ardently.
Me: Puhleaze tell me you aren't doing a P&P crossover now?
Edward: (Sighing) Er, I'm not exactly certain…I believe I'm off to Regency England…in some kind of a… space craft? I'm not sure where this one is heading. How well do you know a Lissa Bryan? Oh God…I've got to dash…Sydney Alice is getting out her laptop! Goodbye, Love!
A/N: Okay readers…I think that this is the last of the cheap fillers that were cleverly designed by yours truly as a method to assist you in leaving a review for the epilogue. In case you missed it…BPOV, Baby I'm back, posted last night. Many of my readers were unable to leave a review because I fiddled around with the chapters when I created the outtake story and FF assigned the new chapters the old chapter's numbers. (Which is why some people were told they already reviewed this chapter when they had not…) Does this make ANY sense? Lol! Probably not! Anyway…if you want to leave a review and are unable to do so you can just drop it off here!
Hope you all enjoyed this little story. I thank you all for taking the time to read and for your continuing support!
Jane with a y