How Could You Do That To Us?
This is going to be a one shot following Edward's discovery of Bella's betrayal in Eclipse.
The battle was nearly upon us and still she chose to go after that dog. She knew how much it hurt me when she chose him over me. Her constant reassurances mean nothing when her actions say it all. I stand alone, lost almost in the snow high in the mountains surrounding Forks.
I have just spent the most uncomfortable night in a tent with my fiancee and her best friend who just happens to be in love with her. Him giving her what I couldn't, warmth. If I could have traded places with him last night I would. After she had fallen asleep Jacob and I had opened up to each other. He'd begged me to walk away again something I refuse to do unless she wants me to. He thinks she could still choose him over me. I don't know if that is likely, I can't read her mind and Alice has not been able to see if she changes her mind.
My attention is suddenly drawn to Jacob talking to Bella in raised tones. I wonder if I should go to them and make sure she is okay. Then I see and hear what she is saying to him.
'Don't go Jake, please stay here with me. Kiss me Jake.'
It is from Jacob that I get this. It still knocks the wind right out of me especially when his next thoughts are how warm and soft her lips are on his, how right her arms feel wrapped around his neck. How good it is that she is kissing him back with such passion.
I drop to my knees, silently I cry, my whole body is racked in pain as I sob. If my heart were beating it would surely have stopped. I feel completely dead. Time goes by I have no strength with which to get up. How can I fight a battle with newborns knowing she is lost to me.
When she comes around the corner I am still on my knees. She dashes to my side, I flinch at her touch. She knows I am aware of her betrayal of us of what we had of what we were. Her eyes are sad and scared.
The battle is about to start in the clearing. I can't talk to her about this now. I'll deal with this later if we get through this.
"Edward, please tell me we're okay. You know I only did that to stop him killing himself, right?"
"Whatever Bella, can we not talk about this now."
I know my tone is cold and my words harsh. The shock on her face tells me she knows this is bad.
She moves to my side but I don't touch her I can't, his stench is all over her. I want to scream at her and make her see how badly she has hurt me. I don't, I'm a coward I'll never let her see how her decision will tear me apart.
All at once I am aware that we are being tracked. Victoria and another have found us. Now I need to have my wits about me as I fight for our lives. Seth is nearby and I send him to the run the perimeter and come at them from behind. I move Bella to stand in front of the cliff face. There she cannot be got at unless they go through me first. I cannot bear to look at her. I will falter if I do if I see one ounce of regret in her eyes.
Victoria has Riley wrapped around her finger. He believes all her lies about loving him. She has him brain washed and as a newborn he is strong and eager to please his creator. Seth attacks him and separates his left arm from his torso. Victoria is more cautious now realising I am not alone.
"You won't get another chance like this" I shout.
"You want her, you want revenge for what I did to James. Come on Victoria come and try, she's right here."
A vicious fight ensues. Seth manages to take out Riley and I end Victoria. We both build a large fire and burn their bodies. A thick plume of acrid smoke bellows into the air. A sign of our victory. It seems almost hollow somehow.
I hear Bella's quiet sobs in the background. I long to go to her and wrap my arms around her. My pride won't let me. Her eyes tell me she needs me but I ignore her.
"Come on we need to get down to the clearing quick smart. Don't worry the battle is over there too and your precious Jacob is just fine."
Once again my words are harsh and cut her to the quick. She retaliates this time saying.
"I love you more Edward I agreed to marry you."
"Yes you did, then you went and kissed someone else. Not just anyone else Bella but your best friend Jacob who just happens to be in love with you too. That is the worst kind of betrayal Bella and I don't know how to deal with it."
Her face told me she was shocked by my words. We walked quickly to the clearing. As we arrived a newborn had been hiding and attacked one of the pack. Jacob intercepted and was crushed by the newborns strong arms before the rest of the pack took him apart.
Bella's reaction once again ripped my un beating heart in two. She screamed his name and rushed to his side. I could only stand by and watch as the love of my existence is lost to me even more. His pull is strong and she cannot resist. She wants to go with him back to the reservation but she needs to be here. Alice takes her aside and explains what is about to happen.
Jane, Alec, Felix and Demetri come out of nowhere. They glide to a stop about ten feet from us. Alice's arm is wrapped around Bella I am stood by my father's side. They listen to our explanation but I'm not sure they believe us. They leave anyway.
Carlisle heads home to pick up his bag and heads off to La Push, Bella goes with him. I just sit in my room and stare at the walls. I know I cannot stand by and watch her run to him over and over again. It kills me every time she does it. I hate what I have become, a jealous monster. I know she loves me and I also know she loves him, she tells me like a brother. In my book you don't kiss your brother like that. Can I work through this rage I feel. I really don't know. Every time I close my eyes I see her kissing him, holding him and its tearing me apart. At least now I know how he's felt all this time watching her with me. It does not make me feel any better.
Alice knocks at my door, I let her come in. She sits at my side we have no need to speak. Our silent conversation tells me she does not know what is going to happen between Bella and I. She knows how much I'm hurting and thinks Bella is hurting too. She felt Bella's shame in the clearing. Its nowhere near as straight forward as one might have hoped. We sit together our heads touching. Alice gives me some semblence of peace.
When Alice left I don't know. She's back telling me Bella is leaving La Push and needs me. I'm torn should I go to her or should I send Alice. I want to go but right now I think I'll say or do something to make things worse. I ask Alice to go for me. She shakes her head as she walks out of my room.
I watch and listen for Alice's visions. I get nothing she is deliberately blocking me. It must be bad if she doesn't want me to see. I pace up and down, up and down in my room like a caged animal. Now I see Alice leaving Bella's house she looks sad.
When she gets home I drag her into my room.
"Well" I ask impatiently.
"If you want to know Edward you should have gone yourself." she answers indignantly.
"Is she okay Alice? Does she hate me?"
Alice takes something out of her pocket and drops in into my hand. Bella's engagement ring. It's over. Its really over...
"She said to tell you she was sorry for asking him to kiss her, that her love for Jacob doesn't mean anything more than brotherly love and she is sorry that she hurt you and that you cannot forgive her."
How had I managed to through away the best thing that had ever happened to me. How did I not see she only loved him like a brother. Okay she kissed him like a boyfriend but only because he played her with his mind games. I had never reacted that way before I'd acted like a jealous idiot and that is exactly what I am. An idiot.
Now I'd lost her. She'd given back my ring and I was once again all alone. Only this time I knew what it felt like to be in love and to be loved. Now the next hundred years would be even more painful because I had experienced what it felt like to be happy really happy. I was a fool.
Days ran into weeks ran into months. I didn't go back to school I could not face seeing her every day. Alice tells me she is well in herself if not a little quiet and subdued. She is not with Jacob Black, she is not with anyone. Mike Newton keeps pestering her and Alice is dying to punch his lights out. I miss her like crazy. I ache to hold her in my arms again. I'm too proud to tell her I'm sorry and that I need her.
It's almost Bella's nineteenth Birthday. I had hoped we'd be married by now. So much for hope. I'll still give her the present I'd already bought. It was made especially for her so no point in me keeping it. I was wrapping it when a knock came to the door. No one else was in. They were at school, or shopping.
Reluctantly I answer it. I know who is there before I open the door. I can smell her.
"Bella, hello what are you doing here?" I ask trying to sound casual.
"Well if the mountain won't go to Mohammed then Mohammed must go to the mountain." she says blushing.
She pushes back into the house and slams the door shut. I'm shocked by her behaviour but don't say anything.
"Edward, I'm miserable without you, I love you with all that I am and I'm sick of waiting for you to come and get me. Alice tells me you're miserable too. I'm so sorry I hurt you Edward. Never for a moment did I think you would misunderstand my actions with Jacob. It has always been you Edward, only ever you. I love Jake like a brother and kissing him only reiterated that even more to us both. I'm sorry you had to see that. Please marry me Edward I love you and I want to be your wife."
I'm too shocked to speak, she moves nearer to me looking all the time for my rejection. I know how hard what she has just done must have been. She is as proud as I am if not more. Showing any sign of weakness will just about kill her. I wrap my arms around her and take a deep breath as I wallow in her perfect scent.
"Kiss me please Edward." she begs.
She doesn't have to ask twice. I'm in heaven once again, kissing Bella, holding her in my arms. I pick her up and run up the stairs. I throw her on the bed. She giggles as she bounces several times. I'm on my knees at my bedside drawer.
As she sits up I pull myself onto one knee.
"Isabella Swan I promise to love you every single day of forever will you please do me the honour of agreeing to be my wife?"
Her arms are around my neck and we are kissing before I know what else to do. I place the ring back on her third finger of her left hand.
"Can we pull a wedding off in two weeks love?"
"Oh I think we'll be okay love all the arrangements are nearly done. Alice and I have been planning it for a while."
I kiss her again, slowly and deeply letting her know just how much she means to me.
"I'm sorry too love for reacting the way I did. I should have had more faith in you. It's just that you bring out all my old human feelings and I just got so jealous then my pride took over and before I knew it I'd lost you. I am so sorry and I promise never to doubt your love for me again, ever."
"Good because you're stuck with me for a lifetime Cullen and I cannot wait to start our life together. Oh and by the way you never lost me...