Chapter 5, Part 1

The Hardest Thing To Do

Toki sat over the toilet heaving and retching, trying to make the horrible sickness inside of him go away. He sobbed and cried, begged Pickles to please give him something to get high off of, but the drummer refused, held his hair back, and watched as he puked his guts out.

"P-Please, I promise I'lls do good if yous-"

"No, Toki."

"Buts I feels like shit."

" 'Dat's supposed to happen." Pickles said gently. "You're body gets sick without the drugs and crap. It's called withdrawal."

"I don't wants to do this anymore." he said, hugging his sides. "It hurts."

He nodded and ran a hand thru Toki's hair comfortingly. "I know, but it'll get better. This is gonna be the worst part." The guitarist began vomiting again. Once was done, Pickles flushed the toilet and gently laid Toki on the cold tile of his bathroom floor. He put a blanket over the shivering Norwegian and asked, "You're cold?"

"Nos, hot."

The drummer nodded and took the blanket off of him. "Sorry."

Toki looked up at him and asked, panting, "I-I ams bad, huh?"

Pickles glanced down at him and shook his head. "Nah, you're okay."

"I'ms sorry. I'll never do nothings bad like this agains."

"You promise?"

"Ja, swears to God. This hurts to much." he sat up and reached for the blanket. "I'ms cold now." but he was sweating horribly and his hair was quickly becoming plastered to his forehead.

Pickles watched him with a deep frown upon his face and said encouragingly, "C'mere." He pulled Toki into his arms and held him close. "It's gonna be okay, I swear."

"I feels like I'm dying."

"You're nat."

"Hows do you know?"

He thought for a moment then said, " 'Cause I wouldn't let you die."

The Norwegian gave him a weak, small smile and said, "I'ms glad you're here with mes. Thanks." he rested his head on the drummer's chest and closed his eyes. "I'm tired."

"Then go to sleep."

"But I hurts so bad everywhere...oh Gods, I messed up so bads doing all that stupids shit..." his whole body tensed up and he let out a little groan of agony. "I thinks I'm going to pukes again..."

Pickles got up, lead Toki over to the toilet, and the whole painful process was repeated. It was like that the rest of the night and for the weeks afterword. Finally, though, Toki seemed to be getting better. He wasn't begging for drugs and soon he wasn't vomiting as much. He was even able to actually sleep in a bed instead of just on the cold floor next to the toilet.

When Toki awoke one morning he found that Pickles was sitting on the bed next to him, his eyes half open and struggling to stay open. The drummer was clearly exhausted; his eyes had dark circles around them and were always burning with lack of sleep, but he had never once left the guitarist alone unless it was to try and get him some food or something to drink.

"P-Pickle? Ams I alives?"

"Yep, you're still here."

"Ands not high?"

He grinned and shook his head. "Nope, nat high."

Toki cursed and sat up in the bed. His head pounded and he was shivering with cold. "Fucks. That sucks." and he looked over and saw that on the little table next to his side of the bed there was a sliver of blueberry pie. The Norwegian picked up the plate and fork and glanced over at Pickles. "You gots me food?"

"Yep." and his smile grew as he said, "It was the only thing they had in the fridge."

Toki laughed at ate a small bite of the pie, savoring the rich sweetness of it. "Thanks you so much for puttings up with me."

"I didn't put up with you; I could've walked out if I wanted." Pickles pointed out.

He watched as Toki at the pie and suddenly he felt his heart filling with a warm affection for the guitarist. He had seen him at his worst, made him new again, and somehow managed to keep his own self emotionally together in the process. That was saying something, wasn't it? They'd been to the edge and back again and still weren't sick of each other, so surely that meant something.

"Heys, Pickle?"


"Ams you going to dump me?"

His smile faded a little as he asked, "Why the hell would I do 'dat?"

"Wells..." Toki swallowed another bite of pie. "Because I haves been bad. I dids drugs and dranks and hurts you, so why do you stills loves me?"

"I...I don't know." he admitted. Then, seeing hurt flash in the Norwegian's eyes, he raced to add, "I don't need a reason, though. You're just the best person in the world."

The guitarist smiled broadly and finished the rest of the pie. To both of their amazement, he didn't puke it up. Once he was done eating, Toki laid back into the soft mattress of the drummer's bed—he'd been staying in Pickles' room since he'd gotten back to Mordhaus—and turned his head to stare out the window. "I dids good?"

Pickles took Toki's hand. "Yeah," he whispered. "You did great."

"I still feels like crap, though."

"It's fine. It'll get better."

"You keeps saying that, but hows do you know?"

"Because I'm gonna stay here with you 'till it does get better." he answered.

Toki smiled and replied softly, "It feels good to belongs to someone, just to knows that someone cares abouts me. Doesn't it feels good?"

"Yeah," Pickles said. "I guess it does. I guess it feels amazing."

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Chapter 5, Part 2

What Happened Later

In another six months Toki was clean enough to continue on with regular Dethklok affairs; playing at concerts, recording, and going to after parties. Pickles always kept a close eye on him, though, and when the day came where Dr. Rockzo came knocking on the doors of Mordhaus, he sent the clown away himself. Gradually everything returned to normal—or at least as normal as it could be. The worst part of Toki's withdrawal had to be when Murderface slipped a bag of cocaine into his pocket one day. That set his recovery process back to square one, but after that there were no more thoughtless jokes. Everyone tried their best to accommodate the Norwegian and help him thru his time of sickness.

Later, of course, Pickles announced to everyone that he and Toki were together. This proclamation got mixed emotions from everyone in the the band and brought about many questions, but neither of the two musicians cared much. They were together, and that's all that really mattered.

If you asked Pickles to this day, he'd still say that he was amazed at all the things that could be fixed—and all the ghosts that could be chased away—by a little blueberry pie.

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And there you go, that's the end. I know I sort of whipped these chapters up fast, but I have a whole damn week off—although I'm not complaining—and there's nothing much to do out here in the country other than riding my bike and being bored. All my friends are spending 'quality time' with their families, so I'm pretty much screwed. ^_^

Also, no, I don't know why I chose blueberry pie of all foods. I've never even eaten blueberry pie in my life, so I have no clue what it tastes like. The original title was supposed to have something to do with fried chicken—I was eating it when I thought of the plot for this story—but for some reason I replaced it with blueberry pie. I guess it just fit or something. WTF is going on my my twisted-ass mind, I'll never know. :P

Anyway, hope you enjoyed the story. Many more Pickles/Toki stuff to come. Thanks for reading. Reviews are love.

Peace & Love