Really, really sorry this is taking forever, but I have lost my inspiration for this story. Most like my other ones. But I will try to get this out and done before um, I will say the end of May. Possibly…But if I don't update regularly and you want an update, message me. I don't even care if it's mean or not, just go right ahead. It will probably set the mood for the next chapter, just kidding. So without further ado, here ya go!

I could not shed anymore tears as Morty pulled up in front of my house. It had only been a few minutes since Fitz left, and I missed his company now more than ever. But I couldn't hold his hand while I had this talk with Eli, it was not something I would have done.

Eli stepped out of the car, dressed in his black clothing again. I missed that Eli, the uniform changed him.

His eyes were red and puffy from crying. As he walked closer to me, I could see his fisted hands shaking at his sides. Eli's usually strong and cocky demeanor was gone, and his emotional side that I've seen rarely was showing.

Eli stopped in front of me then kneeled down. His hands found mine and held them, "Clare, what's going on?"

I took a deep breath, ready for the plunge. "I am upset that you fought with Fitz, but this isn't about that. This is about..." I took another deep breath and tried to calm my nerves. My voice was shaky, and my whole body shook with chills and nerves.

Eli's grip on me tightened, his thumb caressed the back of my hand. "Clare please."

I nodded and closed my eyes. I was scared if I opened them I'd see the hurt and pain in his eyes, and take everything back.

"Someone told me the fight you had with Julia was about her finding out you cheated on her, and I need to know if that's true or not." I said in a long breath. "Because if it as, and you've been lying to me all this time, we can't be together anymore." A few tears slid down my cheeks that I did not know I produced.

Eli's face turned to one of shock, to hurt, to anger all at once. "Who told you that?"

Should I really tell him Fitz and Owen did? I thought about it for a little too long; Eli yelled in frustration, running his hands through his hair.

"She acted like she didn't love me, like she never wanted me." He paused to gesture to himself, "That's why I did it. I didn't want to tell you because 'once a cheater, always a cheater'. But I love you Clare." Eli took my hands in his, bringing us closer together. I couldn't be near him right now, I felt sick to my stomach.

I pulled my hands away quickly, standing up and backing away from Eli.

"How could you? If you love someone you don't cheat on them, Eli." I practically screamed at him.

"Clare, please I never cheated on you. And I never will." Eli begged. His breathing was in short gasps, and I knew this was one of his moments. He gets them whenever we fight; he can't breath and he blacks out. That scares me the most.

"Eli, calm down." I said as I put my hands on his arms. I rubbed up and down, trying to soothe him.

Eli shook his head furiously, his eyes closed and squeezing out more tears. "I can't Clare. I fucking can't!" He tore away from me angrily and turned around, pacing in small circles.

"Eli please, my mom is going to be home soon." I said as I quickly realized what time it was beginning to be. "Just go home and rest and I will call you later, okay?"

Eli stopped for a moment, his back turned to me. He turned his head slower, and it reminded me of a possessed person.

"Don't bother. I'll find something else to take my mind of it." He whispered harshly.

I tried to reach for him, but he moved out of my reach. His black form walked to Morty, and I couldn't see anything past the tears forming in my eyes.

I felt my knees giving out, and swiftly moved to the porch. My chest felt tightened and painful, I reached my hand up to grasp the pain, but nothing was there. I didn't know why I felt like this, if it was because I loved him still, or if I felt so guilty for what was surely to come.

I decided I needed a pick me up, and the only person I could think of was Mark Fitzgerald.