Alistair Theirin Vs. The World

Vs. Ser Gilmore

It was when Lissy Cousland was lifting her great-sword high in the air to slaughter the Archdemon, that Alistair realized: I freakin' love this chick.

Why hadn't he seen it before? She was cute, tough, sweet, cute, and totally kicked ass!

It was in that moment, that he became extremely thankful that he slept with Morrigan the night before. Eww, smelly frocks.

After that weird, explosion thing that came out of the Archdemon, he ran over to Lissy.

He twirled her around, making her blonde pigtails fly in the wind, and gave her a big, slobbery kiss in front of the whole world.

Little did he know, he would be fighting it soon.

Lissy succumbed to Alistair's witty charms and boyish good looks.

Within the week they were participating in a non-stop smooch fest with each other.

And within two weeks, they got married and became the new Warden Commanders of Ferelden's relatively small group of Grey Wardens.

Yup, things were going pretty good for Alistair Theirin.

He was just about to give his new bride another kissy when -


"Whoa, what the hell?"

Lissy answered, "Ser Gilmore! But I thought you were dead!"

"Alas, my Lady, I am alive. And I am here to kick some Theirin ass!"

Now, to Alistair Therin, those were fighting words. No one told his lady that they were alive!

"Oh yeah? Bring it on!", Alistair challenged.

Ser Gilmore threw his blade toward Alistair. Alistair quickly smashed his shield into Gilmore's face.

Gilmore tried to get the upper hand, but his level was way too low due to his large absence during most of the game.

"Blast it all! You have beaten me Ser Alistair."

"Of course I have and - wait - why did you attack me in first place?"

"I have joined an alliance with six of Lissy's exes. We all vowed that we would take you down!", Gilmore explained.

"SIX EXES!", Alistair was horrified by the number. She sure wasn't kidding when she said she had licked her share of lampposts!

"Well, technically seven, if you count Gilmore.", Lissy added.

"Oh Maker!"

"You must fight them my dear, it is the only way we can be together!"

"Umm, but, we are married so-"

"It is the ONLY WAY!"

He would do it. He would fight for his woman's honor! (And look good doing it)

Watch out exes, here I come.

Hahaha! Heat of the moment type thing…but please review.

Who do you think her exes are?