R for language
spoiler 7x09

friendship asks that you give.
when the one who you call a friend is in need... you give.

you give the truth
you give a lie
you give a smile
... a shoulder

she asked me for... sorbet.

Does friendship mean you give your bodysoul?

When she asked for...

... did I have to?



Bailey, Lexie, even Derek would probably say I was simply being me.

Being cock-visioned, pussy-radared, Marcus Sloan.



That's what most people would say.

Mark wanted a fuck, and there was pussy in sight.



Great...great... greattt pussy in sight.



But that's not why I did it.

And I didn't do it because we're friends.

I didn't put down that glass of water and give her sorbet because we're friends.

The 'friends' part made the sex good.



But the 'friends' part wasn't the reason why I gave in when she asked.

And no, the 'pussy in sight' part wasn't the reason why I gave in when she asked.

I wasn't even desperate for a fuck.

Honestly, if I wanted a fuck - just any fuck - I could get it from anyone... anytime.

... not bragging, just saying.



So why did I do it?

Why'd I put myself back in that place... that place that Callie and I had left behind: friends with benefits?

We'd done friends with benefits. We'd done it a lot.



Why'd I say yes?.

I did it because...

...because of her brown eyes

...and because of the long dark hair that she'd cut short.

I did it because of her absolute toughness and strength.

I did it because of the hesitation and vulnerability I saw on her lips when she asked me for that Goddamned sorbet.

I was pretty certain that the next morning she'd have her arms wrapped around her waist again; that she'd have her walls back up... her fears brightly, vividly blinding her.

... I hoped I was wrong.

But I was pretty certain.

And I still did it.

Not for an easy fuck.
Not for a friendly fuck.
Not because it was my nature.

I did it because I had hope.

I did it because I love her.

...and it's gotten to the point now, where i don't think I'll ever get beyond that.