Hi everyone. New story.
I know I've been slacking A LOT on my other ones but this idea came to mind and I had to do it.
Let me know what you think.
I have chapter 2 done already so I'll prob post it tomorrow.

Everyone wants that fairytale, happy ending El, that's just how people are. Take a look at yourself. You have a family, sure you and Kathy have had your ups and downs, but you two are stronger then ever. That is considered a happy ending. Look at me, mid 40's, lonely; married to the job, and constantly hoping something would change. I thought I'd be married by now, at least. I envy you."

"Seriously Liv? Have you ever seen Kathy and I fight? My God, it's like she wants to rip my balls off half of the time. We still fight basically every other day, but now it's about me not calling her to tell her when I'll be home, when am I ever going to go visit Maureen, or just anything in general that pertains to seeing my kids and her. Yes, we struggle, yes we're married, but I can say this to you and only you, YOU saved my marriage. You are the reason why I still have that family."

I shake my head. The bartender comes up and asks if I need another beer. 'No thanks, I think I'm gonna head out." I hand him the money I owe and a nice tip. "Thanks Gary, I'll see you again soon probably." We both share a laugh.

"try not to make it too soon Olivia, you may be a customer of mine, but you are a friend. Please take it easy." I smile and nod his way.

"Liv, Hey!" I turn around and put my hands in my pockets.

"Before you go, just remember that there is someone out there for you, and that person may be a lot closer then you think." I shrugged.

"El, the only person I've wanted within the past 10 years died, came back and then left again. All hope that I ever had, fails to exist anymore. You know that El, you know that better than anyone else. How many nights did I confide in you because of how much I missed her? We were never more than friends yet my body ached for her. I doubt she even remotely felt the same way, but at the same time, it doesn't matter anymore. If she were to come in here right now, and profess her love to me in front of this whole bar, chances are I'd simply walk out. Hah, but who am I kidding… she clearly doesn't care about me, about you, or about the squad. She left. First time was understandable because I can't possibly fight with Witness Protection, but then leaving again once she came back on her own accord, that shows me what was going on in her head. But honestly El, who truly knows what's going on in her head? I doubt she even knows."

I put a $20 bill on the bar to cover Elliot's tab. "And I know I sound like an asshole because she went to Congo to save the women there, but El, when is someone going to come and save me…?" I simply look at him, and walk out of the bar.

God, what kind of idiot am I? I keep letting her get to me, and it's about time I just move on. Everything is different now. She's been gone for over a year, and not once has she tried to contact me. Not once has she tried to contact the squad. How could I fall for someone like her? Alexandra Cabot, esteemed ADA, "Lawyer who came back from the dead", how could I even begin to think I had a chance. How could I be so naïve to let me heart go so astray…I'm a detective for Christ's sake. And I don't want to sound cocky, but I am a very good detective… But that still doesn't excuse myself for falling so hard…

My phone cut me off from my train of thought.


No one's there.

"Hello, this is Detective Olivia Benson, who is this? Is anybody there?"

"Hi Liv…"

God damn, speak of the devil.

"Hello Alex, what do I owe the pleasure of this phone call…?"

I manage to cross the street and find an empty bench to sit on. I feel the need to sit down to deal with this phone call.

"I'm back in town –"

"For how long this time Alex?" I have zero patience.

"For good. And I know before you cut me off again, please let me explain Liv, you're my best friend, or at least I thought you were, and I've screwed up majorly with you… with everyone. Please just give me the time of day to explain why I left and just everything... Please Liv…"

"Why should I give you the time of day Alex, I haven't heard anything from you in over a year, and suddenly you just want to prance right back into my life again? Pick up where we left off? Guess again Alex."

"Olivia please. I know you must hate me and I don't blame you, but right now I could really use seeing a friendly face, even if for just 5 minutes… Please… I'm begging you."

Something is wrong. I've never heard her talk like this, and I can tell she's been crying. "Alex, what's wrong?"

"I uh, can I see you? I'd rather talk to you face to face…" I can hear the desperation I her voice so I immediately give in.

"I can meet you at your apartment, if that's okay."

"Actually Liv, I'm standing outside of yours right now…'
I sigh, "Okay I'll be right there. You know where my extra key is so go in and I'll meet you there in about 15 minutes…"

"Okay, thank you…"

"Yeah yeah, I'll be there shortly."

I make the short venture to my apartment, and I look for my emergency key, and it becomes all too real when it's not there. I sigh, decide to clear my head before I go in there and face the woman that I am in love with, but extremely pissed off at, at the same time.

"Here we go…" I whisper to myself.