"If I Were You"
By Elise Q.
Title: If I Were You
Summary: A crossover between Buffy the Vampire Slayer and The Mentalist. Jane sees something between Buffy and Giles that no one else does, while working on a case where an old colleague and mentor of Rupert Giles has been murdered in the state of California.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, except for Charles Grant and Thomas Hargreaves, though at times I wish...please, Joss, I beg you!
Author: E. Quackenbush aka NephilimEQ
Author's Notes: I was inspired to write this simply because the new season of The Mentalist was about to start.
Rupert Giles was dead tired. He reached up and drew his glasses from his face, running a hand through his hair, attempting to collect his thoughts.
As he did so, the phone suddenly rang, the sound jarring and obtrusive in the small and quiet apartment.
He reached over and picked up the phone, trying not to let the aggravation show in his voice. "Hello?"
A voice that he didn't recognize began to speak. "Hello? Is this Dr. Rupert Giles, previous curator of the British museum?" At that, he immediately roused a bit from his state of drowsiness. Very few knew of his previous position, and those who did, that were outside Buffy and the rest of their little group, weren't necessarily the type of people he wished to be associated with.
"Yes, y-yes it is. How may I help you?"
The woman was brisk, but to the point. "Sir, my name is Teresa Lisbon. I'm an agent from the California Bureau of Investigation, and I'm afraid that we need your help on an investigation."
At those words, he was completely awake, and also a bit nervous as well, which soon became apparent in the way that his stutter began to show through.
"R-Really? H-How can I be of service?"
She hesitated for a moment, but then told him. "It seems that the most recent curator of the British Museum came out here to California for a visit, and has been murdered. A man by the name of Charles Grant. We were contacted about an hour ago by an associate of his who said that you might be able to assist us on this investigation…"
Giles was silent, not quite believing what he was hearing. He had known the man…known him quite well, as a matter of fact. He had been his teacher for his last year at Oxford.
However, at the word "associate", he had a feeling that he knew exactly who it was that had contacted her.
"Yes, well, how soon would you need my help?" He honestly did not want to ask the question, knowing that she would probably want him there as soon as possible.
"As soon as possible. In fact, we've already sent someone to pick you up. One of our Agents, Agent Rigsby."
Giles didn't know how to respond. He found it rather presumptuous of her, of them to assume that he would help them. But of course, this was America, and they expected their citizens to want to help. He almost thought about playing the "I'm-British-and-you-can't-make-me" card, but he decided against it.
He tried to keep the contempt out of his voice as he responded. "Yes, I guess I'll see you then."
No sooner had he started to speak then his Slayer had walked through the door. He wanted to hang up immediately, but Lisbon kept him on the phone.
"Mr. Giles, if I could find out exactly how you knew Charles Grant, it will help me with some of my investigation before you arrive."
He sighed. "He…He was my mentor during my final year at Oxford. My, my professor." She inquired further. "What did he teach?" Giles hesitated a moment, and then continued, knowing that it was most likely not going to go over well, as most people found it odd. "He taught Demonic Psychology."
There was a pause on her end of the phone, and within the room Buffy was giving him a look. She looked at him. 'Demonic psychology?' she mouthed as she sat down at the breakfast counter.
He ignored her, still waiting for Agent Lisbon to speak.
Her voice sounded slightly odd as she spoke. "O-Okay…th-thank you, Mr. Giles. That actually explains a lot. We'll be seeing you shortly."
Without thinking, he responded. "Yes, I'll see you then."
As he hung up, he knew immediately that Buffy was going to demand where he was going. "Where are you going, Giles? Gotta date?" He turned and gave her a glare, knowing that she'd probably heard most of the conversation. "You know fully well that I don't have a date. It's…it's…"
Suddenly, she slid down from her stool and walked towards him, every word she spoke becoming more and more ominous.
"You…were planning on going somewhere. Without me. Alone…" He outwardly flinched even before she finished. "That's not happening. Wherever you're going, so am I."
"B-But…you can't just leave for a week! You have duties…"
His voice died as she glared at him. "And one of them is making sure that my Watcher stays in one piece. So…where are we going?"
He sat down at his desk, knowing that to argue with her was futile, letting his head fall to his folded arms. This was going to be the longest drive of his life…
They sat in the car with Agent Rigsby in the front, and he was doing most of the talking.
Buffy looked over at Giles with a grin. She recognized it as being a nervous habit, very similar to Willow's, except a bit more organized.
It didn't take too long. After taking two breaks, one for the bathroom and the other one for snacks, they were at the CBI building.
Buffy watched with amusement as her Watcher stepped out of the vehicle to stretch his legs. She winced slightly as she heard his back pop. She hadn't realized that he'd been that cramped. But she hadn't noticed much on the way down except for the fact that his leg had been flush against her own for most of the drive.
She shook the thought from her head and made her way out of the car, working only a couple of kinks in her neck from sitting for so long.
She had a feeling that this was going to be a most interesting experience...
Patrick Jane lay on the couch, staring at the ceiling, ignoring the talking that was going on next to his ear.
Of course, the reason why the talking was going on was because Agent Lisbon was trying to convince him to come onto the case.
He, of course, continued to studiously ignore her in the way that always seemed to annoy her. He wasn't sure why it annoyed her, but he found it slightly amusing with the way she reacted.
"Jane...please. This is getting ridiculous!" He could hear the exasperation in her voice, and he was tempted to relent.
At her words, he turned his head towards her, trying to understand her urgency. If anything, this case was practically already solved, but of course she didn't see that. She only saw a very odd murder that seemed to have no leads besides the phone call that had come only a few hours ago from an older British gentleman. The man had been called Travers.
Finally, he sat up and looked at his friend full in the eye. "Fine. I'll do it."
She sighed in relief, but her sigh turned into a groan as he continued. "If...and only if...I get to drive the car."
Lisbon looked at him in surprise. He had never asked to drive the car before, and why he was asking now was slightly suspicious. He had something up his sleeve.
She didn't know what it was, but it was better than not having him on the case at all...