Genetics Fail
by Kihin Ranno

The Senshi and Tuxedo Kamen have had a very bad day.

First, there was the whole time travel thing. Frankly, it did not go as smoothly as they'd hoped it would. Really, an evil genie in the time stream? That just seemed unnecessarily troublesome.

The revelation that the Earth - or at least Tokyo - was basically destroyed was not any better. Actually, it was decidedly worse. If they'd had time, they may have taken a few moments to mourn the ruined city and the hundreds and thousands of people who had likely perished in the devastation.

And now apparently Mamoru is the future king of Earth, Usagi the queen, and both of them are about two steps away from dead. Also, Chibi-Usa is their daughter.

Truly, it has been a very bad day. The transparent King has graciously given the group some time to recover. Chibi-Usa is still sound asleep in Mamoru's arms, quietly sucking her thumb. Everyone's staring in almost reverent silence.

It is not surprising to anyone that Venus shatters it with the grace of a drunken bull.

"I don't get it."

Mars pinches the bridge of her nose. That particular tone of voice never fails to give her an instant migraine. "Minako, if you say you don't get the process, I will hurt you."

Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Kamen blush furiously once again. Mercury feels profoundly sorry for them.

"Mars, you were taught by the nuns. My mother talks a lot when she's drunk. I think its safe to say I should be explaining it to all of you."

Now Mercury is too busy blushing herself to feel sorry for anyone.

Jupiter clears her throat. "Let me speak for everyone: please don't."

Venus shrugs since this has nothing to do with her original point anyway; really, its Mars's fault for being such a prude. "I mean I don't get why Chibi-Usa looks like... you know. That."

Tuxedo Kamen, who has never said more than three words to Minako in his life, now looks like he will very happily throw down with her. "I'm going to need you to explain that immediately."

Either because she is oblivious or overly confident, his tone of voice does not give her pause, though both Mars and Jupiter are unnerved. "So sensitive today! I'm talking about the pink hair."

Tuxedo Kamen pauses. He glances down at his future daughter. And her pink hair. "Oh."

Sailor Moon leans closer, as if the pigment will change under closer inspection. "That is kind of weird."

"Thank you!" Venus shouts, exasperated. She ignores Jupiter shushing her. "I don't know why everyone always assumes I'm going to be inappropriate."

"Would you like the list alphabetically or in order of importance?" Mars drawls.

Venus pinches her and then ducks the returning blow. "But seriously. Pink hair? I mean, purple I get, because of Usagi's mom-"

"Oh, she dyes it. She's a natural brunette."

Venus rolls her eyes dramatically. "Well, now I don't know what to think."

Because Venus does have at least one shred of tact, she does not go venturing into Mamoru's parentage.

"And wouldn't pink hair be... what's it... recessive?"

The subject being too close to Tuxedo Kamen for comfort, the girls all turn to the other resident medical expert. Mercury frowns. "You know... I'm not sure pink hair was really been documented genetically. It's not exactly common."

"And blue is?" Jupiter asks, unable to resist.

Mercury pats her gingerly. "Well, you certainly see it more often than pink."

"And there's also the red eyes," Venus adds. "Not reddish brown. Red. I'm not implying that she's inherently evil, so nobody bite my head off, but you have to admit, it's a little weird."

Even Tuxedo Kamen's overly protective nature cannot argue that it is indeed a little weird.

"Maybe pink hair is... normal in the future?" Sailor Moon ventures.

Venus shrugs. "I still say its a major genetics fail." Then she turns on her heel and begins to skip out of the room, apparently ready to let the subject lie. She's nearly out the door before she adds one final thought.

"Either that or she's not Mamoru's."

The speed at which each of the Senshi places herself bodily between Tuxedo Kamen and Sailor Venus is nothing short of miraculous.