(A/N: This was a challenge from a friend who wanted a Zelda fic with a crack couple. ouo)

A/N for September 2013: This one's old and probably not very well written, but it was my first fanfiction posted on this site, and I've just now hit my fiftieth, so I thought it'd be nice to look back on this one. Surprising how much I've grown, lol. And after three years I'm finally back in the LoZ fandom!


Link sighed wistfully as he floated in the water, kicking his bare legs lightly and staring up at the evening sky.

In his opinion, it was much more appealing to swim at night, because the air was cool and the water was warmer, creating those little goosebumps on his arms that he'd grown so accustomed to since he'd moved to Ordon. Not to mention there were no villagers around, so he could actually swim without his clothes, and didn't have to worry about fanning them after he got home. Instead, they were hanging on a nearby tree limb, wonderfully dry.

He plucked the long strand of whistling grass from between his lips and inhaled deeply, savoring the homey smell of pumpkin and home-ground thyme. How could this get any better? he thought, smiling to himself.

"Link, is that you?"

Link almost swallowed the grass he'd just put back in his mouth. "C-Colin!" he yelped, getting off his back and darting up to the pier.

"Why are you out here so late?" The boy crossed his arms behind his back, rocking slightly on the balls of his feet. "It's almost eleven-thirty."

The older boy, getting over his surprise, chuckled. "I know it is. The real standing question here is: Why are you out here so late?"

Colin blushed a dark pink as a stark-naked Link pulled himself out of the water. "I couldn't sleep," he mumbled, averting his eyes to the bush on his left.

"Ah, the ol' 'I couldn't sleep' deal." Link grinned. "That was my issue, too."


"A'course." The Hylian plucked his bottoms off the branch and slipped into them easily, tossing the hip pads on the ground. "Restless minds just don't want to cooperate, do they?"

"You have no idea," Colin muttered, mostly to himself.

But Link's ears, with their expert Hylian hearing, picked it up effortlessly. "Sounds like you have some sort of issue," he said, his tone betraying his curiosity.

"Um, I guess you could say that."

Link clearly wanted to know what was wrong, but refused to pry into Colin's business. After all, what kind of friend would he be if he forced the poor kid into telling him secrets? They were tough village men—not schoolgirls.

The younger blonde huffed and plopped onto the wooden pier. "I'm tired, but I can't seem to sleep without my brain distracting me with all these…thoughts." He grimaced.

Link, being an ever-loyal friend, sat down next to him, drawing his knees to his sparkling-wet chest. "'Thoughts'? Hm, when have I said that word like that?" He tapped a finger against his chin, then grinned wildly. "You have a crush!"

Colin turned pink again. "Er, I never said that…"

"But it's true."

Slowly, the younger nodded; Link's grin shrunk to an empathetic smile. "Lemme guess," he started, stretching his legs out again and leaning back on his arms. "It's…Beth?"


Link laughed. "Okay, then…Ilia?"

Colin shook his head; Link continued. "Is it on an adult? Sorta like one a student would have on a teacher?"

The blonde thought about this for a few seconds, then replied, "Yes, kind of."


"No!" Colin actually laughed a little, but immediately frowned again once he finished. He opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again. "Argh!" he exclaimed, putting his head between his knees. "It's not…on a girl."

Link just barely caught the last three words the younger child whispered. "What?" he inquired, not sure he'd heard right.

"I've had a while to figure out that I'm not exactly straight, Link." He sighed, almost miserably, then rolled on top of the Hylian.

To Colin's surprise, Link didn't say anything—no objections, more importantly to him. Feeling a renewed sense of bravery, he inhaled to calm his nerves, and crushed their lips together. After two or three seconds, he jerked away, throwing his arms back to catch himself before he fell into the water.

However, before his fingers could grasp the edge of the pier, he tumbled backwards and, with a rather embarrassed cry, squeezed his eyes shut, ready to get soaked in lake water.

One second passed, then two, with no splashing noise or feel of water.

Colin's eyes flew open, meeting the steady gaze of Link's.

A very awkward silence ensued for about twenty seconds before the younger processed what had happened: Link had caught him with his legs.

"Not exactly the way I planned to get between your legs," he commented.

Link laughed heartily, face a little pink, and Colin shook his head furiously in return. "Oh goddesses, that didn't just come out of my mouth!"

"I guess it did," the older boy said. Then, to himself, he added, "And I thought goat herding would prove to be useless. Looks as though strong legs come in handy." Colin assumed the position of a dazed fangirl. "No comment, Oh Secret Admirer of Mine?"

That snapped him out of it. "Not so secret anymore, huh?"

"No, but…" Link paused to touch their foreheads together. "Aren't you glad it isn't?"

Colin smiled. "A'course."

A peaceful silence befell them, and that gave them time to listen to the wind whistling serenely, mingling with the soft laps of moving water, and, perhaps most inviting to the elder, the sound of relaxed, even breaths on his chest.

He smiled. "Sleep tight, Colin," he whispered, kissing the boy's forehead before carrying him home. "No more restless nights for you."