Disclaimer: No, sadly I don't own Edward Cullen or any other characters in the Twilight series, but Edward Cullen owns me.
A/N- Guess who's fucking back! It's Brittany. So I've been working on this story for a while, just haven't had the guts to put it out there yet. But here goes! I'm giving you the prologue as a Thanksgiving treat. Tell me what you think! I won't be continuing Color of Orbs, sorry! Just too much crap I'd have to deal with. :/.
"I can still hear her scream at night when I'm dreaming, and I can see the blood stains on the tile, and the look in his eyes, and..."
"You should have kept your mouth shut." James spits, while he glares at me. His hands tighten around her neck, and my eyes begin water. He knows exactly how bad this is hurting me. She's trembling and I try to think of a way to save her, but I can't come up with anything. If I move he'll kill her for sure. There's something shiny in his hand, but I can't tell what it is, and then I see it. It's a knife. I am sobbing and she is sobbing, we both know that this is goodbye.
I'm shaking. I can't do this anymore. Daddy was wrong to think that this could help me. Saying the things I see and feel out loud just makes it all the more terrifying, just makes the pain more excruciating, just makes it all the morereal. I bring my knees to my chest and I could care less that my muddy sneakers are on this lady's furniture. I can't breath. The memories are all coming back too fast, like cars on a freeway. I try to keep my voice down but then I see how scared she looks and desperate, and it's all because of me. "It's all because of me!"I'm screaming.
"Bella? Sweetheart? Can you hear me? Open your eyes." It's Charlie. His voice wraps around me like a blanket of comfort and I open my eyes to look at him. I'm still in the room. The cold, dark, counselor's office, and I have to leave this place. "Can you walk? Or do you want me to carry you?" I shake my head softly. I have humiliated myself enough already. I'm sure everyone out there has heard me and being carried out would only draw more attention to Bella the Freak.
I let go of my legs, my shield, and let them fall to the ground. I need to get out of here. I rise beside my father and he drapes his arm over my shoulders protectively as we exit the counselor's office. I try to ignore the people's eyes, but I can feel them all, their stares burning little holes into my back.
I feel safe. I'm in daddy's cruiser and I am safe now. Charlie's right beside me, but I don't dare look at him. I keep my eyes on the outside. I can feel his pity lingering in the air around me, it's suffocating. He shouldn't pity me, I should pity him. He tries to hide his pain from me, but I see it, clear as day, looking me straight in the face. I did this to him. I'm the one to blame.
I am in bed and I am crying. Daddy's hand touches my face and he tries to wipe my tears away, but they keep coming, they always keep coming.
"Bella, honey. I think it's time we try and put this all behind us. It's not healthy."
What does he expect me to do? I can't put her behind me, when she's right there in front of me. I don't have a machine that helps me forget. I can't forget.
"I don't know how to do that." my voice is a whisper. Charlie's hand goes up to his face and rubs his eyes. He's tired, I can tell. His eyes are puffy and there are giant bags underneath them. He looks horrible, and I know it's my fault. I've been waking him up all week with my nightmares. The images of her death blink in front of me every night while I sleep.
"I know Bells, that's not what I mean. I quit my job. We're moving to Forks. I was offered a job there as The chief of police and I thought it was a good opportunity. It's the kind of change I've been looking for you know? We can't live here anymore Bells, there's too many memories, to much... pain for you and me."
I knew he was right. I knew this was exactly what we needed. A fresh start. A new town, new people, new things to look at. Looking at the old stuff hurt, but as much as I was ready to leave, I wasn't ready to let go of her, to move away from her. I couldn't put myself first though. I would do whatever it was that Charlie needed, because I owed him his happiness.
"Okay Daddy, If that's what you think we should do." He leans forward and kisses my forehead, "Yeah baby, that's what I think we should do."
My eyes close and she haunts me.