To all my American readers, Happy Thanksgiving! I'm so full right now, it's ridiculous. I love it. Pie is a wonderful invention. Also, I'm weirdly excited about Kurt going to Dalton, and all of the beautiful, brotherly loving that will hopefully happen because of 'Furt.' Anyhoo, enjoy this piece of absolute fluff and nonsense and please review! Every time you review, David and Wes squeal like little girls!
(Day 0) Tuesday
Kurt zipped up his suitcase, grinning victoriously. The bag was small, used every weekend to go home to Lima, and not used to accommodating so many outfits. He hoisted it towards his dorm room door, only to be knocked over by David and Wes.
"Kurt! Great, you haven't left yet!"
"Kurt, my man! Have I ever told you how lovely you are?"
"That tie – stunning."
"Your eyes are like pools of…um…blue stuff."
"No, Blaine says they're green."
"Look at them, Wes. They're obviously blue."
"Whatever, Kurt, light of my life-"
"That was my line!"
Kurt rolled his eyes, clamping his hands over both boys' mouths. "What do you want?"
Wes grinned sheepishly. "Well…you see…"
David cut in. "Our parents are greedy bastards and are going on a cruise this week and not taking us with them."
"Yeah. It sucks." Wes pouted, crossing his arms. Seeing Kurt's confused face, he continued, "Our moms are best friends. Our dads work together. And even though the four of them get to chill together year round, they decided to abandon their own children to go get drunk on a boat in the Caribbean."
David placed his hand on his chest and looked mockingly towards the ceiling. "Parenting at its finest."
Kurt nodded, still confused and mildly suspicious. "And this concerns me…?"
Wes flashed what Kurt supposed was supposed to be a charming smile. "Because you love your friends and you don't want them to be stuck here all alone for Thanksgiving."
The smallest boy rolled his eyes, sighing. "Boys, you know I love you, but I'm gay."
David and Wes shot each other odd looks. David spoke. "I have no idea what relevance that has to our homelessness."
Kurt laughed a little. "Okay, one: you're not homeless. You just don't want to be stuck at school for the holiday. Two: I can't bring you two home with me. My dad would freak out."
David snorted. "You live with us anyway. And we're straight. If he was concerned about that, he wouldn't have agreed to you attending an all boy's boarding school."
Kurt paused, mulling over his friend's logic. "Well…" he finally said. "I guess I can call and ask."
The two boys high-fived and grinned. Wes wrapped an arm around Kurt's shoulder as he dialed, and David grabbed the suitcase, leading them both into the hall. Kurt snorted when he saw two beat up suitcases already waiting.
"Um, hi, Carole? It's Kurt. Look…I have a favor to ask…I know that they house is already ridiculously crowded, but…"
Just then Blaine ran up, waving his arms frantically. He muttered something to David, who whispered something back, and Kurt went back to his phone call.
"I have two-" Wes held up three fingers and David poked his finger at Blaine repeatedly. "I mean, three friends who have been deemed homeless for the holiday and I was wondering if they could maybe stay with us…? I'll make them sleep on the floor and keep them out of the way and, hey, Finn'll have people to keep him entertained now and Grandma Hummel would just love new victims for her sermons…"
Carole's voice sounded very amused. "Sure, sweetie. You're on speaker, actually, so say hi to your brother."
Kurt sighed. "Here, I'll put my phone on speaker, too. Blaine, Wes, David, say hi to Finn."
He heard Carole's laugh and Finn's voice, "Hey, guys! You ready for a week full of relatives that aren't yours and too much food?"
The other three boys whooped and hollered. "Hell, yeah!" Wes pumped his fist into the air. "Sounds awesome!"
Carole spoke again. "Well, that's good. You boys are more than welcome to stay with us, as long as you don't mind sleeping on Kurt's bedroom floor. We already had to move Finn in there because of the sheer number of Hudsons and Hummels coming into town. It'll be a sight to behold."
David pulled Kurt close, grinning wickedly. "Oh, don't worry, ma'am. We don't mind at all. In fact, I bet we could all squeeze into Kurt's bed together!"
Wes caught on, smiling. "Or, you know, overpower him and take it for ourselves. He's a bit scrawny."
Blaine laughed. "Don't worry, I packed a sleeping bag. One less person to fight."
Finn's laughter carried through the speaker, muffling Carole's fit of giggles. "As long as you all realize that I play football and there's no way I'm giving up my bed for you, I think we'll get along nicely."
(Day 1) Wednesday
"So, Grandma Maggie, these are my friends from school. Wes, David, and Blaine." Kurt introduced the three boys to the withered old woman, holding back a grin.
The hunched, gray-haired woman scowled. "You!" She pointed to Wes. "Put your cellular contraption away! That beeping is making my hearing aids malfunction!"
The dark-haired boy gave Kurt a confused look; his hands empty and cell phone-less. The small boy waved it off, shrugging.
"You!" She jabbed her bony finger at David. "Look intelligent, boy! Wipe that stupid smirk off your face!"
Wes had to duck away to hide his giggles. David grimaced, slumping his shoulders.
"And stand up straight!" She commanded, eyebrows narrowing. David did as he was told, much to Blaine's and Wes's amusement.
"And you!" She barked at Blaine, turning in her chair towards him. "Do you hate your mother?"
He shook his head politely. "No, ma'am. I love my mama."
She scoffed. "Then why do you insult her with that hippie hair of yours?"
Blaine blushed, looking down. Kurt smiled apologetically. Blaine had been growing his hair out lately, trying to shed the "proper boarding school" look for the "indie musician" look. Kurt appreciated it; his grandmother did not.
Grandma Hummel scanned them all again, beady eyes narrowing. "What a bunch of heathens you are! Damn hippies! When I was your age, we looked nice and respected out elders! Kurt, dearie, why do you associate yourself with such…failures?"
The three boys looked incredulous, but Kurt held back a smirk. "Oh, look, Grandma! Aunt Betty and Uncle Robert are here!"
Sure enough, a thin, frantic woman and her portly husband came through the door, doling out hugs and suitcases.
"Is this really little Kurtie? He's grown so much!" Betty hugged the small boy, kissing his cheek. Noticing the three teens behind him, she asked, "Honey, I thought you got one stepbrother. Not three."
Kurt laughed. "These are friends of mine from school. Finn's over there." He pointed to where Finn was carrying in groceries for his own Aunt Cindy and her two daughters Christina and Hillary.
"Ah! Kurt, my boy!" Robert came over, clapping the boy on the back. "Which one of these is your boyfriend?"
"If by boyfriend, you mean new stepbrother, that freakishly tall human being over there is Finn, Carole's son. If by boyfriend, you actually mean boyfriend, then no one, Uncle Bobby. Wes, David, and Blaine are just friends from school."
Grandma Maggie threw her hands into the air. "Why did no one tell me my little angel is one of those homosexuals? Do you hate me, Kurt? Do you hate your Grandma?"
Uncle Robert grimaced and shrugged at Kurt, walking away to meet Carole. Kurt patted his grandmother's hand, sighing.
"You know I love you, Grandma. I can't help who I am."
This didn't seem to placate her. "I don't care who you sleep with! But who will give me great-grandbabies now?"
Kurt chuckled. "That's Rosie's job. She is married, after all."
"I heard my name!" Kurt's cousin, Rose, walked through the door, dragging her husband Al.
"Are you pregnant, dear?" Grandma Maggie asked, rubbing her hands together.
The three Dalton boys laughed, and Rose scowled. "I don't know what you did, Kurt Hummel, but you are so dead."
"Have fun, Rosie!" Kurt called, dragging his friends away.
"How are you?"
"Still as gay as always, I see."
"Did you finally come out?"
"Which one are you dating?"
"Please tell me one of you is straight!"
"Oh, aren't you three just the cutest things!"
"Is Finn gay, too?"
"Where is that new stepbrother of yours?"
"Where's your dad? Not dead, I hope."
The four of them finally escaped to Kurt's bedroom, where they found a shaken Finn. He, too, had been nearly smothered by the mass of relatives, and had nearly pissed himself when they had opened the door.
"Kurt, Finn…your family exhausts me. A lot." David whined, curling up on Kurt's bed.
"Are you regretting not being homeless for Thanksgiving?" Kurt asked, grinning smugly.
"Not at all. This is gonna be great!" Wes chipped in, collapsing on top of David. "But I am exhausted by your family. There's so many of them!"
Finn shuddered. "Your grandma scares me. Said only the devil could have made me so tall."
Blaine burst out laughing, falling back onto his two friends. Kurt giggled, sitting on Finn's camper cot.
"You're just lucky no one wants any of you near the kitchen. They've already started cooking. It's going to be an absolute fiasco."
Finn sighed. "I thought this whole Hummel-Hudson Thanksgiving was a good idea. Now I wish I had gone with Rachel to California with her dads."
Blaine looked kind of sad. "Yeah, I wish my mom wasn't so far away. And that my dad wasn't gone on business."
Kurt felt his heart ache for the older boy. His parents were divorced; his dad was always working and his mom was in Nepal for a few months. The room fell quiet.
"I wish our parents didn't suck," David muttered to Wes, and the five boys laughed until Grandma Maggie found them hiding.
(Day 2) Thursday
"Food! Glorious food!" David and Finn exclaimed together, drooling as the dishes were delivered to the numerous tables all squished into the Hummel-Hudson dining room.
They all ran for their seats, squeezing in side-by-side. Finn was next to Kurt, who was wedged against Wes. Across from them sat Blaine and David, who were practically in each other's laps.
Rosie sat next to Blaine, smiling knowingly as she looked back and forth between him and her cousin. Burt and Carole sat at the end of one of the tables, Grandma Maggie at the other.
"It's time to say grace, everyone." She said, bringing the room to a hushed silence. Finn glanced at Kurt from the corner of his eye, but Kurt waved it off. Blaine also looked slightly uncomfortable, but that may have been due to the fact that every time Maggie saw him, she referred to him as "that damn hobbit boy who hates his mother."
Everyone held hands and bowed their heads, even Kurt. Wes held his hand too tightly, sticking his tongue at Kurt like a five-year-old. Kurt squeezed back, trying to break his knuckles.
"Lord, tonight we see the union of the Hummel and Hudson families. Though some of them are Protestant-" The other Hummels looked around sheepishly, trying to silently apologize to the Hudsons. "I pray that you give me the grace to tolerate them. Thank you, oh, Lord, for the food you have given us…"
Finn leaned over, grimacing. "How long is this gonna go on? I want food."
Kurt bit his lip, hiding giggles. "Forever. Just start sneaking some rolls when she gets onto the subject of Catholicism. That's what we always do."
Wes's face went from bored to freaked out to amused in less than a minute, catching the attention of the stepbrothers. He leaned towards Kurt, and whispered, "I think Blaine is trying to play footsie with you. But he keeps missing."
Kurt's face burned, and he snuck a glance at the dark-haired boy. Blaine grinned back, winking. David mimed throwing up onto Blaine's plate, causing Rosie and Al to chuckle quietly.
"And he blessed the Catholics with great patience and knowledge…"
Kurt nodded to Finn, who grabbed a roll from the basket. Rosie did the same, as did Uncle Bobby.
"But let us not forget what we are most thankful for: family." Grandma Hummel said, clapping her hands together. Finn squeezed Kurt's shoulder, mouth full of bread. Wes blew a kiss to David across the table, caught it and held it to his heart dramatically. Burt and Carole shared a quick kiss, smiling lovingly.
"And so, Lord Almighty, I thank you for this meal with my families, new and old, and this chance to be together. Even with Kurt's heathen friends. Amen."
The roomed chorused her "amen," giggling a little at the expense of Kurt and his friends. Then the dishes were passed out, and the room was deafening.
Kurt caught Blaine's eye as David threw a spoonful of mashed potatoes at Wes, and the two just smiled at each other. A foot met Kurt's, and a blush crept up his face.
"Finally," he heard Wes mutter. "He found the right leg."
(Day 3) Friday
"I can't believe Kurt went shopping at four this morning. It's crazy!" Wes said, digging through the fridge for some leftover turkey. It was noon, and Kurt was still not home.
"Yeah, and I can't believe Blaine went with him!" Finn exclaimed, mouth full of stuffing.
Wes nibbled on a green bean. "I can. He's so in love with Kurt."
Finn choked on his food. "What? Are they dating? I haven't given him The Talk yet! Does Burt know?"
David clapped him on the back, laughing. "Nope. Kurt is totally oblivious and Blaine is totally in denial. But we think they're making progress."
Wes chuckled. "If last night's footsie incident means anything, they are definitely making progress. That, or Blaine digs me. Which is easy to believe." David and Wes laughed, but Finn felt slightly uncomfortable. "No, but really, they're perfect for each other."
"You think so?" Finn asked, twirling his fork between his fingers. "Does Blaine make him happy?"
The two boys nodded, smiling gently. "You should see the way Kurt looks up to him at school. It's kind of adorable. In a big-puppy/little-puppy sort of way."
Finn grinned, bringing another forkful of stuffing to his mouth. "That's good."
"We're ba-ack!" Rose's voice rang through the house. "And we hit the jackpot!"
Blaine and Kurt followed behind the older girl, chatting amiably. Behind them sauntered Uncle Bobby, who appeared to be carrying all of their bags.
Finn cocked his head. "Uncle Robert, how did they trick you into coming with them?"
The beefy man shrugged. "I was bored."
Wes and David shared an incredulous look. "At four in the morning?"
Bobby shrugged again. "Yup."
Kurt and Blaine disappeared, and Rosie had Bobby carry her bags out to Al's car. Finn looked at the two Dalton boys, confused.
"Why are you three just standing about like that? Help an old woman out to her car!"
Grandma Hummel stood in front of them, clutching her purse tightly. David looked apprehensive.
"Are you sure you want to drive all the way to the mall, ma'am? It's a bit of a haul."
She looked irritated. "Of course I'm not going to drive. One of you will! Now hurry up and help me to my car!"
David and Finn took her arms, while Wes took her keys. They heard Kurt and Blaine snickering behind them, where they had reappeared in the kitchen.
"Have fun shopping, boys!"
David grumbled, Finn looked lost, and Wes flipped them the bird as they walked out the door, led by the frail, mean Grandma Maggie.
"And if you boys get me killed, I swear on my husband's grave I will personally ask the Lord Almighty to send you straight to hell! Not that that's anything new for you three."
(Day 4) Saturday
"I never took you to be a midnight snacker, Kurt Hummel," Blaine whispered as they reached the kitchen.
Kurt laughed quietly. "Thanksgiving is the only exception. You can't beat pecan pie at one in the morning. Really."
Blaine grinned, pulling the whipped cream from the fridge. "I haven't had time to thank you for letting the three of us stay here this week. It's been really fun. And I know the guys secretly enjoy your grandmother's presence. And they've really taken a liking to Finn."
The smaller boy cut up two pieces of pie, setting them neatly on separate plates. "I know he wants to transfer to Dalton now because of those two losers. But Rachel would literally murder him."
They laughed, and Blaine sprayed whipped cream onto the pie pieces expertly. Grinning mischievously, he squirted a bit onto his finger, and dabbed it on Kurt's nose.
"Hey!" Kurt hissed good-naturedly. "Not cool!" He wiped it off, dabbing the remains onto Blaine's cheek.
Blaine laughed, and scooped a bit off of his pie, smearing it on Kurt chin. The smaller boy wiped it off, a little remaining on the bottom of his lip.
"You missed some…" Blaine whispered, leaning in. Moving slowly to gage Kurt's reaction, he licked away the whipped cream, then planted a gentle kiss on the boy's lips.
Kurt's face was flushed, but he was smiling and that made Blaine smile back. Grinning flirtatiously, the smaller boy leaned in and murmured in Blaine's ear, "You missed some, too."
He pulled back, licking the cream from Blaine's cheek slowly. The older boy closed his eyes, lips parting.
"Ew, guys, get a room." The two boys turned around to find Wes, David, and Finn standing in the doorway. "We came here for pie and your face-eating-fest is ruining out boyish appetites. Ooh! You already got the pie out! Awesome!"
They grabbed the entire pie tin, the bottle of whipped cream, and three forks, and ran back to their room, chatting about pie and Call of Duty.
Blaine rested his forehead against Kurt's, smiling. "You wanna go join them?"
Kurt giggled. "Oh, why not? I want to see who can eat the most without puking."
(Day 5) Sunday
The boys all hoisted their bags into Kurt's car, shaking hands with Burt and Carole.
"Thank you so much for having us, Mr. and Mrs. Hummel," Blaine said, flashing them a charming smile. "It was a pleasure to meet both of you and your families."
Burt laughed. "Thanks for keeping Finn distracted and Kurt happy. And, um, sorry about the whole 'hippie heathen' thing Maggie had going on. She hates everyone."
Carole hugged the boy, and whispered in his ear, "Finn told me about your midnight snacking with Kurt. Use protection. Don't break his heart. And tell Burt soon. And in a public place where he can't shoot you."
Blaine swallowed. "Um, thanks Mrs. Hummel."
David and Wes both hugged Finn, slapping him on the back. "Call of Duty next weekend, bro?" Wes asked the tall boy, grinning.
"You bet! I'll invite some of the glee guys over and we can have a tournament!"
"Sweet! We'll bring some of the Warblers, too!" David said, pumping his fist into the air.
Burt groaned, clutching Kurt's shoulder. "They're going to be over every weekend, aren't they?"
Kurt and Blaine laughed. "Sorry, Dad. I'm afraid so."
Burt's face softened. "Well, I'm just glad you're happy, son. And you-" He turned to Blaine, arms crossed. "You take care of him, okay? I know where you live."
The dark-haired boy smiled. "Yes, sir. Won't let him out of my sight."
They said their last goodbyes, and the four Dalton boys hopped into Kurt's car for the long drive back to school. The family that was still at the house waved goodbye as they pulled out of the driveway, and down the road.
Grandma Hummel sniffed, crossing her arms. "Kurt better find a way to give me beautiful, gay great-grandbabies. And his boyfriend is still a heathen."