Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Ball Z, I don't own Trunks, I don't own Goten. I don't own anything. 'Nuff said.

Author's Note: Yeah, yeah, I know it's been ages since I've posted anything, and I will be updating the rest of my stories soon. I've missed you all so much, and I've missed updating! But, as some of you may already know, I've had some major computer problems lately and haven't been able to write much of anything.

This is my first attempt at writing in quite a few months. I just recently got back into Dragon Ball Z when I started watching Dragon Ball Z Kai, so that's my explanation for this totally random story that probably isn't very good. I was just having fun with it. That, and I absolutely LOVE Goten and Trunks! They are SO cute! How can you deny it?

Ok, so I've already been rambling on for far too long. Please enjoy the story. I know it's not that good, but I wrote it in about 5 minutes. It was just a little exercise I did to get me back in the mode of writing, so there's probably plenty of typos and crap included. I also feel like I kind of stretched out the story too long, but I really had fun with it, so that's my excuse. I'll be posting more Star Wars stories, updating, and possible posting stories of different fandoms soon! :)

Enjoy!

Peeping Toms and Blackmail

"I don't know about this, Trunks."

Goten shifted nervously, crushing leaves and snapping twigs with the movement. Sweat beaded on his forehead, trickling down his cheeks, tasting salty when he licked his lips. Beside him, Trunks was peering through the bushes at the house across the street, silently waiting.

"Shhh! Do you want us to get caught?"

"Well, no..." Goten murmured. He definitely didn't want that. There was no telling what his mom would do to him if she found out. But this whole situation that Trunks had put him in was scary. He didn't like being out past dark, and he didn't feel good about spying on people, either.

"Then shut up. Someone's gonna hear you if you keep moving."

"Sorry." Goten froze, crouching down even lower in the bushes. He suddenly had an overwhelming, tingling discomfort in his lower abdomen. "Uhhh! Trunks, I gotta pee!"

"Well, hold it!" Trunks didn't even look at him. He was too busy staring at the darkened downstairs window of the neighbor's house.

"But Trunks, I seriously have to-"

Trunks smacked a hand over Goten's mouth, stopping him mid-sentence. "Shhh! Someone's coming!"

"BuIdunseenythin."

A puzzled look passed over Trunk's face, and he pulled his hand away. "What?"

"I said 'But I don't see anything'!"

"Shut up! Do you want her to hear us?" Trunks snapped, returning his attention to the window. The interior of the room was lit now, and when Goten looked through the bushes, he could see inside.

A dresser obscured a good quarter of the window, but Goten could easily make out a bed with a pink and purple comforter and the dark outline of a person – a girl, it looked like. Why did Trunks want to spy on a girl? Girls weren't interesting.

Goten sighed and sat down on his bottom. "Come on, Trunks, this is boring. Let's go inside. I've gotta pee."

Trunks was still for a moment. He didn't look at Goten lest he miss anything. It was too dark for Goten to see his expression, but he knew – whether it be instinct or just because he knew Trunks so well – that the older boy was dead serious. He was in the zone, and when Trunks was in the zone, there was nothing that Goten could do or say to make him see his point of view. He was stubborn.

"Goten, do you want to be a little kid or a big kid?" he asked suddenly. It was a weird question, Goten thought – a no-brainer!

"I'm not a little kid!"

"Well, you sure are acting like one. Now quit being a baby and come with me." Trunks snatched his hand, dragging him out of the bushes and causing quite a ruckus in the process. "We're going to get a closer look."

Goten allowed himself to be dragged toward the house, and Trunks didn't stop until he had reached the bottom of the window, ducking to avoid detection. Goten did the same. The blinds were open, revealing a brightly-lit room full of girly furnishings. The girl that they had been spying on earlier was rifling through her dresser, probably searching for a pair of pajamas to wear to bed. Nothing interesting.

"This is boring."

"Hush. It's about to get good."

Goten rubbed his eyes to stay awake. He didn't understand what Trunks found so interesting about the girl. But, then again, Trunks was a year older. He probably knew more about girls than Goten did. Maybe there was some deep, dark secret about them that only Trunks knew. Maybe they transformed into ugly monsters at night, and that's why they were always so grumpy during the day.

One time, when he'd been younger, he had found a secret stash of strange medicine that his mom had called "make-up". She told him that she put it on her face to make her pretty. Maybe girls took their make-up off at night and became hideously ugly. Maybe that's why Trunks wanted to spy on the girl. Maybe it was blackmail.

Goten knew about blackmail because one time his dad had taken a picture of Trunks' mom and said that if Trunks' dad didn't give him back his lawn mower, he would show all of his friends and post it on the internet. Trunks' dad had been really mad about that and gave his dad a black eye. When Goten had asked about it, his dad had said that it was called blackmail, and that Goten should never do it because it was bad.

"Trunks, if you blackmail I'm gonna have to tell on you," Goten whispered, eyes narrowing, trying to look serious.

"What the heck are you talking about, Goten? I'm not going to blackmail her."

"Then what are you gonna do?"

"I just want a peek."

"A peek? A peek of wha-"

Just then, out of the corner of his eye, Goten caught a glimpse of movement, and he turned his head to look inside the room. The girl, now standing directly in front of the window, slowly pulled her shirt up over her head.

"AHHHH!"

Trunks shushed desperately, slapping his hand over Goten's face. Goten's eyes widened, pupils dilating, and his face was pale. He looked as if he'd just seen a ghost. Thankfully the girl hadn't heard him.

"What's wrong with you?" Trunks asked, removing his hand.

"Wha-wha-what were those?"

"Boobs, you idiot."

"Bu-bu-boobs? What are boobs?"

"Boobs are what girls have." Trunks smirked, nudging Goten in the ribs. "What, did your parents never tell you about them? I thought you at least knew about boobs."

Goten's eyes widened even further. His gaze was still locked on the stripping girl. "Not me. I've never even heard about them before. What are they? A disease?"

How did Trunks know about girls? No one ever told Goten anything, not even Gohan, and Gohan had a girlfriend. Older brothers were supposed to tell their younger brothers everything, right? Maybe Gohan just wasn't a good brother. But Trunks didn't have a brother with a girlfriend. How did he know about girls, then?

"All girls have them." Trunks sighed. "Tsk, tsk. I can't believe you don't know. Your mom has them, too."

"Ohhh. Well, how did you find out?"

"Because my dad told me."

Goten stuck out his bottom lip. "Why didn't my dad tell me?"

Trunks pondered the question for a moment, stroking his chin. "Hmm... Now that you mention it, I can see why your dad wouldn't tell you. My dad explained all of it to me 'cause I accidentally walked in on..." Trunks' face turned an awful shade of crimson, and he stuck out his tongue in disgust. "Oh, never mind. You don't wanna know."

"Tell me! Now you have to, Trunks, 'cause you already brought it up."

Trunks sighed again. "Oh, alright... But you can't tell anyone."

Goten nodded.

"He told me because I accidentally walked in on... sex!"

"What? What's sex?"

Why hadn't anyone told him about that, either? Was it really that big of a secret?

Trunks shrugged. "Well, I don't really know much about it. My dad said I'm too young to know. But he did tell me that when a mommy and a daddy are married and really love each other, and when they want to have a baby, they get naked and look at each other."

"Look at each other?" Goten asked, interest piqued. "What's there to look at?"

"You know... Boobs and stuff."

"Oh, I see." Goten brightened up, grinning. "Sounds like fun!"

"I know!"

Trunks and Goten both spun back around to face the window, and Trunks groaned and snapped his fingers.

"Darn! She went to bed already. That means we missed the really good stuff."

"What do you mean 'the really good stuff'?"

Goten's mouth gaped open. What more could there possibly be? He'd already learned about boobs and sex. What more could his mom and dad and Gohan have been hiding from him all these years? He tried to imagine, but his mind could hardly fathom it.

"Well..." Trunks began, raising an eyebrow. "We missed her taking off her underpants. That's always the best part. At least, that's what my dad says."

"Your dad told you that?"

Goten's jaw nearly dropped to the floor. He'd never thought that Trunks' dad was the type of guy who liked to see girls naked. He seemed more focused on his training. Plus, he was really mean. Why would Trunks' mom want for him to see her naked? I guess it was just to make baby Trunks, but still...

"Yep, he sure did. But he says I'll have to wait a few more years before he'll give me the 'sex talk'."

"Really? Wow. Maybe my dad will give me one, too!" Goten exclaimed, jumping up from his seat on the ground.

"Shhh, Goten, be quiet. That girl will hear you."

"Oh yeah," he whispered, "I forgot."

Trunks suddenly froze, blue eyes widening, mouth slightly agape. "Did you just hear that?"

"Hear what?"

Goten put his hands behind his eyes, pushing them out so that he could hear better.

"Goten! Trunks!"

It was his dad's voice calling. Goten's expression mirrored Trunks', and the two boys sprawled out flat on the grass, as if their parents wouldn't see them. But Goten's orange and blue outfit was a dead give-a-way.

"What do we do now, Trunks? What do we do?"

"I don't know! Just be quiet! And get your foot off of me!"

"Oh, sorry."

"Trunks! Goten!"

"Shoot, it's my dad, too! We're dead." Trunks put his hands up over his head in one last effort to hide himself, but it was already too late. Their fathers were already in sight.

"Trunks, why don't we just run?"

"It's too late for that, dummy. We're done for."

"Goten?"

Goten cringed at the sound of his father's voice – one that usually brought with it a sense of relief. The situation had twisted it into something to be fearful of.

"I'm sorry, Daddy!" Goten squealed, hopping up from his hiding place. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I promise, I'll never look at boobs again!"

"Boobs?" Goku scratched his head, puzzled. "What boobs?"

"What a dummy," Trunks sighed, and Goten cast him a rather angry glance.

"Trunks, stand up!" Vegeta demanded, making his way to stand beside Goku, and Trunks obeyed immediately. When Goten glanced over his shoulder, he saw that his older counterpart was shivering, his face pale with fright.

"What were you two doing?" Goku asked with a smirk, raising an eyebrow. "And at the neighbor's house? You had your mother worried sick."

"I-I don't know!" Goten cried, knees shaking. "A-At first I thought we were gu-gonna blackmail her, but then Trunks said no, we were just gonna pe-peek, and then Isawboobs and I neverwannaseethemagain! I pr-promise!"

Vegeta glowered at Goten from beneath a furrowed brow. "Boobs? Stop spouting this ridiculous nonsense and tell us what happened!" He turned his smoldering gaze to Trunks, causing the young boy to flinch. "Trunks!"

"Uh... Well, we uh..." Trunks trailed off, reaching up a hand to scratch the back of his head. "We... uh... We were just looking through that window there." He pointed to the now blackened window. "There was this girl, and she was changing, and we saw some boobies, and then you came, and now we probably woke her up."

"You were looking at a young girl's boobies?" Vegeta snarled, eyes blazing.

Goku tried his best to stifle a chuckle.

Goten sniffled, wiping his tears away on his sleeve. He had to say something. He had to get Trunks out of trouble somehow, even if it meant getting his dad into trouble.

"At least I didn't show a naked picture of Trunks' mom to everyone I know and then post it on the internet for the whole world to see!" he screamed, waving his arms for effect.

"What?" Vegeta spun around to face Goku. "I gave you your stupid lawn mower back, Kakarot, and you still went off and showed everyone that picture! Why you little... How dare you post a naked picture of my wife for the entire world – no, the entire galaxy – to see. You slimy little worm!"

"C-come on, Vegeta. I didn't mean anything by it, really. I-I just thought it would be-"

"Funny? You thought it would be funny to humiliate my woman, destroy my pride, and embarrass me in front of my son?"

"I never said-"

"Oh, but you were thinking it." Vegeta's voice gurgled demonically, and spittle flew out of his mouth, practically sizzling on the grass beneath him. Goten imagined the fires of Hell blazing around him, and it suddenly got very hot.

"Are you hot, Trunks?" he asked, turning to face his friend, who was staring in awe at the pair of fathers.

"Nah."

"Sorry, sorry! I-I've learned my lesson. I'll never do it again!" Goku pleaded, raising his hands up in front of his face. "Please calm down, Vegeta. Friends don't hurt – er, kill each other."

"Friends? I would hardly consider us friends. Whatever friendship we may have had before this day has been destroyed by the inconceivable crime that you committed just for mere comic relief. Is that what you think of my wife, Kakarot? As mere comic relief?"

"Well... A few years ago she was a very important character, but now that you mention it she has sort of developed into useless comic relief. Heh-heh."

"KAKAROT!"

The flames of Hell smouldered around Goten and Trunks as they watched their fathers engage in a verbal battle for the ages. Goten shifted uncomfortably on his feet. It was getting very hot.

"Pst! Trunks! Let's get out of here while we still have the chance."

"Yeah, right."

The two boys slunk quietly away, and neither Vegeta nor Goku noticed their exit. The next day, no one mentioned the incident that had happened the night before.

-fin-