He was standing behind me, whispering useless nothings in my ear. His hands went from my shoulders and lingered down to my hand.
My breathing was heavy and I felt alive. So, so alive.
His lips touched my neck and my breath caught.
I woke up reluctantly leaving the dream. He plagued my dreams, my every thought. The guy I was hopelessly in love with. My polar opposite. The mysterious boy who dressed in black and drove a hearse. The guy with hypnotizing emerald eyes and the guy who one day I hoped would make me a woman…
I looked at my clock to see it was 3 am. I reached for my cell phone and saw a text from Eli.
Eli: Clare I can't keep you out of my head!
Clare: Same here…
Eli: How about we sneak out?
Clare: Eli it's a school night.
Eli: I beg to differ.
Clare: Meet me at the park.
Eli: I'm outside...
Clare: How did you know I would say yes?
Eli: Just come outside.
I stuck my phone in my pocket and got out of my pajamas. Once dressed I snuck downstairs and out the front door where Eli was waiting with Morty.
I went to go down the steps and fell into Eli. He laughed.
"Can't get enough of me Edwards?" he said giving me one of his signature smirks. I smacked him playfully and stood up straight.
"Shut up you jerk!" I laughed.
"Your chariot awaits my lady." He said gesturing towards Morty. He opened the passenger door for me and I got in. He walked around to the other side and got in as well. As soon as his door shut the living room light went on, then the porch light, then I was looking into my fathers face screaming for Eli to go. We tore out so fast that I had to hold onto the seat.
"You okay?" Eli said slowing down once we were a safe distance from my house.
"Just peachy." I breathed.
"Good. So we're we going?"
I didn't answer for a second. My thoughts lingered on my parents. On how they were always fighting, and now getting a divorce. They always told me divorce was wrong and sex before marriage was a sin. But if they lied about one thing…they lied about the other. My purity ring said pure hearts wait. I was taught that meant until they were married. But I was just beginning to think it meant until you're in love. And boy was I in love with Eli.
"Clare?" he asked.
"Eli…I'm ready." I whispered. He looked at me and then finally understood. I was ready…so, so ready. And I was going to give myself, all of me, my faith, my love, and my virtue, to him.
"You mean…your ready…for us to…" he trailed off. I nodded and leant across the seat to kiss his cheek. He turned his head and kissed me. The kiss lasted a bit until he realized he was still driving.
He drove faster, getting to his house fast. We snuck upstairs and closed his door softly. He pushed me up against the wall and kissed me. The kiss was amazing. I never felt more alive in my life! In my head I knew this was wrong but in my heart it was oh so right. I needed Eli, wanted Eli…
I woke up with my head on Eli's chest, and his arms wrapped around my tightly. Our first time. It was full of love. He was so gentle not to hurt me. He whispered soothing nothings in my ear. He would stop if I let out a cry and tell me it would all be okay.
Eli was still asleep. I looked up at him. At his beautiful face. At how peaceful he was asleep. At how he looked so calm and unworried, not sarcastic, he looked.
I kissed his lips softly and his eyes fluttered open. He smiled a genuine smile and kissed my head.
"I guess we aren't going to school today…" he whispered.
"Guess not." I bit my lip.
"I love you."
"I love you to." I smiled. He smiled and kissed me.
"Now we have all of each other… that's never going to change."
"Nope." I smiled and blushed.
Some would say I acted out of rebellion but that isn't it at all. I did what I did because I really truly did love Eli. There was no way I couldn't. He was perfect, my other half.
Now all that was left to do was face the aftermath of what we did. I wasn't pure so I couldn't wear my purity ring anymore. My mother would ask why I didn't have it on, and I don't think I want to wait for that conversation. Better we just tell my parents straight out. We were protected…I think…and in love…I know.
I just had to convince Eli it was a good idea to tell them…
"Mom dad!" I called. "I'm home! And I have to tell you something!" my mom came down the steps and looked at me with worry on her face.
"Your fathers gone Clare… he moved to the states, a state called Wyoming." She frowned. I looked down. He left without saying goodbye… I gripped Eli's hand tighter and looked at my mom.
"We have to tell you something Ms. Edwards." Eli said calmly. She looked between me and him.
"Mom…We uhm…had sex…We waited to make sure we were in love. Our hearts are pure. We waited. I mean yea we aren't married but I love him…"
"Clare…" my mom looked disappointed. "Were you protected?" I looked at Eli. I wasn't sure about that yet.
"Uhm…No…" He said. My eyes widened. "But if she's pregnant I promise I will help take care of the baby."
A month later
Positive… the stick was positive… I had to tell Eli. My breathing got heavy as I made my way downstairs. He was waiting for me outside.
I went outside and stood before him awkwardly. He looked at me and frowned.
"Everything okay Clare?" he asked.
"No…" I sighed. "I'm pregnant."
"Really?" he looked at me for a moment and I nodded. He smiled wide and picked me up. He spun me around and around laughing the entire time.
"I'm going to be a daddy!"
Those god damn pains! Why couldn't this thing just come out already? It hurt so badly and I just wanted it gone.
The nurse said I was 10 meters dilated and it was time to push.
Oh god…the painful part…
I squeezed Eli's hand tight and pushed hard. Minutes later we were blessed with a darling baby girl. She was so perfect. She had Eli's eyes and my nose. Her hair was black and she was perfect. I loved her already. The look on Eli's face when he held her told me he did to.
Raising baby Catherine…
I rocked the baby slowly. It was time for our 3 month old daughter to go to bed. It was a busy day, Eli and I applied for jobs and Catherine said her first word. Dada. Eli's face lit up right away as he heard her. He kissed her little head and smiled wide. He loved being a daddy so much.
I put her in her crib and turned on her tiny night light. I crawled in bed with Eli and cuddled right in.
In the morning Catherine would need her bottle and diaper changed. She would need a bath and to be clothed. She would need to be taken to a baby sitter so we could go to school.
We would have to take final exams. Eli would have to try to graduate his senior year. I would have to deal with the idea of Eli leaving as my big protector at school.
We would have to pick Catherine up. We would probably go to the park with her Aunty Alli and Uncle Adam.
We would do this everyday until we had high school diplomas and college degrees. Until we could fully provide for her. We would do our best and I knew that to be true. I knew Eli loved us both and would stay by our sides. I knew he would do his best.
I fell asleep in his arms like every night.
Everything with us just felt so…right…