The story is set During Night when Casey is attacked. The first Chapter is Olivia's point of View

I was sitting there looking at her. The strawberry blonde with emerald green eyes who somehow stole my heart. We were trying to find ways to link the perp to the crimes but was coming up empty handed. Let me rephrase that. She was trying to find ways to link him I was trying to find ways to get her in my bed. I could never focus when I was close to her. There were times I'm surprised I didn't just blab everything going through my head. Screw it I said to myself. I'm gonna tell her. I opened my mouth to confess everything when her phone rang.

"Novak" She answered. The sound of her voice sent chills up and down my spine. "Fine send them up." She hung the phone up and looked at me. Those eyes. I could lose my self in those eyes. "I have flowers."

"Your not going to keep them" I ask

"No I'm going to throw them right in the trash." She had answered with a smile. Thank god I thought to myself. There might be a chance. I open my mouth to say something instead I heard myself asking "Hey I could go for a cup of coffee. Would you like some?"

"Sure "

I get up and leave but not before I glance back. She has already buried herself back into the work. She has learned from all of us. Not long after she joined I had came to her office to chew her a good one and found her crying at her desk. My heart went out to her. I think that was when I started falling for her. She had told me she had wanted homicide "All the glory no live victims." I had to remind herself she was still green. She wanted to know how did we deal with what we saw and heard day in and day out. I tried to explain the best I could that we didn't really deal we compartmentalized. Elliot wouldn't discuss his job at home and that caused problems between him and his wife, Kathy. Munch was divorced three times. Fin had a son he knew nothing about. "What about you?" she had asked me. It's simple to stay single. The "guys" I date would either run when I told them what I did or lean in a little too interested. Either way there is never a second date. She had just nodded at me. I walked around her desk and led her from the office. "Let's go for drinks" By the end of that night I wanted to take her home with me.

"What can I get you miss" The vendor said dragging me from my flash back.

"Two coffees. Make one with lots of sugar. She loves it extra sweet."

"Yes ma'am." He said as he mixed the drinks together.

"That's $8.50"

I paid the man and headed back to her office. I was having an internal battle with myself. Tell her don't tell her. She needed no should know. Who knows there may be a chance. I learned with Alex Cabot, the ADA she replaced that life was valuable. I had been pining for her since I met her. I never told her and now she was in witness protection program and would probably would never be coming back. That's it I said out loud I'm telling her turning to walk up the steps to the building where she worked.

I was smiling to myself as I walked through the double doors. Somewhere between here and the three blocks I walked to get us some coffee I decided to tell Casey how I felt. Not sure where either. I just prayed that I wasn't miss reading the looks I was receiving. I looked up to see her office was dark. "Casey you better not have left I had to walk three blocks to get your coffee." I called out to no one in particular. I tried her door. It was unlock that was not like her. I opened the door and turned the light on.

I stood there shocked unable to move. Her office was in shambles. I looked over and saw her on the floor out cold. "Oh no" I rushed to her side. Thank god she still had a pulse but some body had beat her. Why does this happen to me. I lost Alex unable to protect her and now Casey. Why. I grabbed my radio from my jacket and called for a bus. I called it as an officer down. I knew that would get them here faster but a rip when my captain found out. Screw it.

I sat there holding her in my arms rocking her. Telling her how much I cared for her. I want to work on a relationship with us. Please don't die. I kept repeating that until the paramedics arrived. They were saying something to me I didn't care. I wasn't going to let go of her. If I did there might be a repeat of Alex. I finally felt strong hands prying Casey from my arms. I reached for my gun but it wasn't there. I looked up and saw everyone standing there. Cragen, Fin, Elliot, and Munch. It was Elliot who was separating me from Casey. Come on Liv he kept saying we will follow them to the hospital. He almost had to carry me from the office.

The drive seemed to take forever and me screaming at the nurses and doctors to work fast and save her wasn't helping either. Elliot was the only one brave enough to step forward and try to calm me. We had been partners for eight years now. We fed off each other. We knew when to walk away and when to stand and fight with each other. He grabbed me by the shoulders and pulled me outside. "I can't leave" I was screaming at him.

"You can and you will." He led me to the side of the building and engulfed me in his arms. After a few minutes of crying on his shoulders I began to neat him with my fists. "Why Elliot Why. Why does this happen to the women I like."

"It was a freak accident Liv,. It has nothing to do with you." Grabbing my wrists to stop me from hitting him more. "I suggest you tell her how you feel though. Don't make the same mistake you did with Alex. I can't handle another six months of you beating yourself up for not telling her."

I stopped and looked at him with terror in my eyes "Liv I know. Hell we all know. We don't say anything because you don't. We all figured that if you want us to know you will tell us. If you think we think any less of you then you are wrong. Gay or not there's no one else I want covering my back."

I hugged. Understanding what he is saying. My secret is no as secret as I thought it was. I wonder if she realized to. I look up about to ask him when Fin comes around the corner.

"The doctor is here to talk to us."

Elliot nodded at him and I ran by him as if my life depended on it. In a way it did. I walked right up to the doctor not bothering to introduce my self. I figure by now everyone knows who I am. "How is she doc? Will she make it."

"She is fine. She has a concussion and will have to stay here overnight." He answers not even bothering with questions of his own.

"Can I see her? I have to see her" Pleading.

"Yes you may. She is being moved to her room now. I will have a nurse take you to her." with that he walked away.

I turned to the guys. There are tears in my eyes and I don't care if they see them for once. "She's going to be ok." I whisper to them. I know they heard the doctor to but I had to say it my self for it to be true.

"She is." Cragen said as he hugged me. He is more like the father I never had than my boss. "Now please do us all a favor and relax."

"I will" I answer as a nurse comes out and calls for the Novak family. I motion that it is us and turn to everyone. "Let's go see her."

"I think we will all go to the DA's office and get copies of their security footage. We are going to nail the bastard that did this to Casey." Munch responded putting his coat on.

"She would want to see everyone" Suddenly realizing I am scared to be alone with her.

"Tell her we say hi and will stop by and see her later." Fin said hugging me "besides I seriously think you two need time to talk" he whispered in my ear. With that my "family" Walks out the ER doors to catch the bastard that did this to her. It was their way of showing me support in my choice.

I turn and follow the nurse to where they are keeping Casey. The nurse opens the door and is telling me the extent of her injuries. Nothing was broken and she wasn't raped. Her biggest problem is her concussion. She will be in and out of it for a while. They had given her some pain meds. I thank her for her time and sit next to Casey on the bed.

I gently push her hair from her face. It is now battered and bruised but she has never looked more beautiful to me then she does at that moment. My breath catches in my throat and I silently thank god even though I'm not too religious that she wasn't raped. I didn't want her to have to deal with that. I lean down and kiss her forehead causing her to stir. She is moaning from the pain. It tears me up. "You are beautiful Casey and I love you." I whisper. I know she can't hear me but it helps me to say the words.

I sit there for another thirty minutes. Now I am starting to worry she hasn't come to yet. I had asked the nurses how long does it take. They told me it can take a few hours at times. I finally hear another moan. I look up at her and see that she is starting to open her eyes

"hey you" I say trying to hide the emotions on my face and in my voice. "How are you?"

"What happens" She asks me trying to sit up.

I gently place my hands on her shoulders. "Just relax. Someone beat you. You have a concussion but other than that you will be fine. Quite a shiner you are toting though counselor." I say trying to lighten the mood.

I see fear cross her face and tears start to form. I know what is going through her mind.

"Was I.." She stops unable to say the words.

"No Casey. I had them run a rape kit. The perp didn't touch you." but god knows I want to I say to myself. She lays back and starts to relax.

"how long have you been here?"

"Since they brought you in." I answer stroking the her hand "I haven't left you."

"Thank you"

"Anytime" Is all I can say. In no time she is back asleep. I walk to the window and call Elliot.


"She's woke up for a few" He can hear the relief in my voice

"That's good Liv." his voice starts to soften too "Have you told her"

"No El. I don't want to scare her off."

"Liv. You won't trust me on that." I can see him standing in front of me with his little smirky smile.

"I just don't think a hospital room is the place to tell her."

"Bet now than never. Do you need anything?"

"Will you bring me a change of clothes and Casey a change too."

"Sure. I'll be there later with it. I take it you will be staying the night there"

"you know I will" I answer as I hang up and settle in the chair after I scoot it closer to the bed. I try my best to get comfortable in the chair. I know in the morning I will pay for sleeping here but at this point I don't care. She looks so angelic sleeping is the last thought that enters my head as sleep takes a hold.