New chapter her for y'all! Sorry for the wait. I had finals and coming home to deal with, so I didn't get to do as much writing as I wanted to. Anyway, hope you enjoy this chapter. As always, read and review! :)
Marie Kanker gnashed her teeth together. She really felt like punching someone right now.
In Marie's mind, she could clearly hear May laughing through her buck teeth. Being one to usually express her emotions through physical force, the blue-haired Kanker took the remote in her hand and threw it down like a basketball. It shattered in a violent display on the floor, with pieces of it shooting all around. Her reasoning for destroying the remote was all too familiar by now.
There was just nothing good on TV. Every channel she had flipped through was playing the same exact thing: reruns of the movie Fishbowl 2.
Whenever the Kanker Sisters gathered to watch television, they would always fight over the right to choose what would be watched. It was practically a tradition by now.
Lee always picked infomercials. May, at least in Marie's opinion, always wanted to watch something stupid.
For once, Marie had the TV all to herself. She liked that, of course. Now she could finally have some time to enjoy her favorite programming: which usually involved nature's creatures killing each other over food, territory or mates. As far as this blue-haired Kanker was concerned, that kind of television program was just an excuse to watch animals of all shapes and sizes rip each other's guts out. It was no surprise that Marie certainly enjoyed that kind of thing.
And it wasn't like she really cared about the science of it all. She just liked watching one beast kill another beast in a bloody fight to the finish. At least, that's what she had convinced herself of believing. In the back of her mind, there was a small voice begging for scientific inquiry. She just never listened to it.
But alas, Marie could not just sit down and accept that her beloved show was not on. When she finally had the TV all to herself, this seemed to be the worst time for her show not to be on for whatever reason.
Marie slumped back on the couch and stared at the pieces of the broken remote. She counted on her fingers that this one had been the eleventh she had broken. And that was just during this week.
A knock on the front door broke Marie's train of thought. With a bored expression on her face, she weakly opened the front door. Her mind was already making conclusions about who was probably knocking...
"Whoever you are, we aren't interested in some dumb soaps..." she said, but her expression quickly changed when she realized who was actually standing in front of her.
It wasn't the cheesy salesperson she had been expecting. It was a shivering, sock-headed boy. Her shivering, sock-headed boy; the one and only Double D.
"Why...good day to you, Marie.." he began, his legs shaking as he wore a fake gap-toothed smile on his face, "I don't mean to bother you on such a fine occasion as this...but I'm in need of a small favor..."
Marie grinned while craning her neck out the door and getting right in Double D's face. The sock-headed Ed backed up a bit, and he could only gulp and stare at the orange-yellow color of Marie's teeth.
"You need a favor, boyfriend? What kind of favor are we talking about here..." Marie snickered, knowing fully well that Double D's situation would soon be under her "lovely" jurisdiction.
"Well you see...I'm in need of some sugar." he said. Unfortunately for him, that was all the blue-haired Kanker needed to know.
"Sugar? I'll give you plenty of that, boyfriend!" Marie shrieked with an evil smile, before both her arms wrapped around Double D's waist and she pulled him right through the doorway.
"Wait! I believe you misunderstand my language!" Double D protested as he felt Marie drag him in with the strength of a Pacific Giant Octopus. His struggling was useless against her usual tenacity.
Marie giggled as she threw Double D towards the floor. Slamming the trailer door behind her, the blue-haired Kanker was once again beginning to relish the power she had over her "boyfriend". Watching him leave his measuring cup on the ground and crawl away from her made it all the more fun. After all, she wasn't the gushy romantic type. Double D was her boyfriend. To Marie, that meant she could do whatever she wanted with him, whenever she wanted to.
It was at this point that Marie couldn't help but wonder why Double D would actually be stupid enough to fall right into her waiting hands. Maybe she had been giving him too much credit.
"What have you got now, Double D? More of your psycho mumbo jumbo? Are you going to call that big dumb Ed for help?" Marie taunted, and a frightened Double D could only back into the wall behind him and search for some sort of escape.
"Think this all over, Marie. Do we really have to compromise my mental health to satiate your desire for affection?" Double D replied, hoping logic would pierce Marie's one track mind.
"Shut it, Double D! That stuff's not gonna work anymore!" Marie yelled in his face as she grabbed him by both cheeks and pulled hard. The sock-headed Ed's eyes twisted and popped out as he tried to hold back crying. Marie just grinned, however, enjoying his pain and pulling just a little harder on his cheeks.
This was payback. This is exactly what she wanted. With only the smallest voice of conscience in her head telling her she might be going to far, Marie decided the fun would continue as she flipped Double D over and put him into an arm lock.
"This is quite uncomfortable, thank you." Double D said with his mouth pushed into the floor. He only got a bout of giggles from the Kanker sister holding him down.
"Good, cause it's only gonna get worse, muffin!" Marie said, before proceeding to pull hard on his arm. Double D yelped like a dog. Marie just giggled again. This was becoming very fun, very fast. Who knew Double D could be so weak?
Grinning wide, Marie pulled Double D up so they were now face to face. The weakest of the Eds was helpless in her powerful grip, and he could only look into her eyes and wonder what kind of insidious plot she was thinking. Squeezing him in her bear hug, Marie moved her face so close to his that there noses were practically touching. She could feel Double D's labored breath against her face.
"That's better." she said. Double D just gulped.
"Now...you wanted some sugar, didn't you?" Marie asked, but Double D did not answer her, as his mouth was preoccupied with being sucked back into his face. The sock-headed Ed shook his head back and forth, hoping that he could keep his lips safe from any unwanted kisses.
"Wait...so you want LOTS and LOTS of sugar?" Marie said evilly, causing Double D to just shake his head faster as if trying to shoot out the word no, "In that case...I've got plenty for you, Double D. Pucker up!"
Closing her eyes, Marie was glad to know she had another chance to give Double D her usual gifts.
But to her surprise, she didn't have time to actually make contact with Double D. Her grip was suddenly broken, and a stunned Marie was spun around by one arm and forced into an uncomfortable position.
Marie Kanker now found herself staring up at Double D, and what she couldn't really understand is why he was holding her the way he was. One hand was on her back, and the other was holding her outstretched hand, as if the two had been dancing together. She blinked a couple of times, and wondered if she was seeing right.
"You forget something, my dainty doughty darling. Romance requires patience." he whispered through a strange gap-toothed grin. Marie felt her face turn hot for a moment, until she began to realize just what was going on.
"Shut up, shut up, shut up! I'm so not in the mood for this stupid trick!" she exclaimed, expecting that the struggling that followed would easily break her free from Double D's grip. To her surprise however, they both remained in their romantic pose.
"Trick? This is no trick, Marie. This is just the unexplained phenomenon those in the scientific community call love." Double D told her, and somehow, his strength beat hers again as he lifted her up. With no music apparent in the background, Double D began to dance with Marie against her will, and the same gap-toothed smile remained on his face. Marie pushed against him, thrashed around, tried to bite his arm off, and kicked him hard with both of her feet, but nothing seemed to interrupt the strange trance Double D was currently in. He continued dancing with her, and the look on his face was very unlike him. Hearts were in his eyes, and he spoke as if he was in a daze.
"Are you enjoying this dancing, my azure-haired turtle dove? I must admit that my movements might not be timed so perfectly." Double D asked, but Marie seemed less interested in answering him and more interested in escaping this torturous dance. Finally, Double D stopped, and lowered Marie so that she was looking up at his face again. Marie was obviously stunned.
Thoughts of a previous day were coming back to her again. Thoughts of when she wondered how Double D could have given her such a perfect kiss. The dreaded scourge, known to all the Kanker Sisters as love, began to invade the confines of Marie Kanker's mind. Double D stopped grinning, and Marie felt the grip of his hands tightening on hers. There was no escape.
"I believe I owe you a kiss. I do hope your saliva is free from any lethal pathogens."
Double D closed his eyes and puckered his lips. In a moment of clarity, Marie Kanker realized that the feeling in her heart, a mixture of fear and love, might indeed be the kind of thing Double D felt whenever she subjected him to her abuse. Then again, it was probably just all fear.
Marie gulped, and the world went black as Double D's lips touched hers. Strangely, Double D's kiss began to make Marie feel all warm and fuzzy...
The rustling of covers and the sound of a heavy mass falling flat on the floor set of an instant alarm in Lee Kanker's brain. Her hair a mess from having woken up minutes before, she charged out of the bathroom. With a toothbrush sticking out of her mouth and floss threaded through multiple teeth, Lee could see that the room she shared with her sisters now looked like a war zone.
May was on the floor, and she looked dazed and confused. Her buckteeth were actually cutting into the wooden floor of the Kanker Sisters' room, and the covers to the bed were strewn all over her. The table beside their bed had been knocked over, and the fan on top of it had somehow been dismantled in mid-air, as its blade was actually stuck in the wall like an axe.
And in the middle of all this sat Marie, who looked like she was having trouble breathing. There was a frustrated look on her face as she reached down and pulled one of the covers over her again.
Lee couldn't help but wonder what was up with her sister. As far as she was concerned, there were no secrets in the Kanker trailer.
"Something keeping you, Marie?" she asked through the foamy mix of toothpaste that was all over her teeth. As May began to slowly crawl back into bed, Marie seemed hesitant to answer Lee's question. Then her face turned incredibly sour, and she glared at Lee like she would glare at her disobedient boyfriend.
"Nothing's keeping me. And what...have you got rabies now? Or is that some stupid attempt to get the pipsqueak's attention?" Marie shot at her sister with a vicious sneer.
"Hey! I told you that we don't talk about those three no more! And what about my choppers? I'm just trying to keep my dental stuff intact! You shouldn't even be yapping, burger breath!" Lee retorted, and before May knew it, both of the sisters were now in each other's face.
"Who are you calling burger breath? You wanna start something here, Lee!" Marie yelled, but her commanding voice didn't hinder Lee very much.
"I'll start something alright! How's about a good ol' wet willy to put you in your place?" Lee threatened, and foam spat out between her teeth and onto Marie's cheeks. The blue-haired Kanker ignored this however, and roughly grabbed Lee by the collar.
"Oh yeah! You and what army!"
"Lee! Marie! Can you two stop your fighting already?" May finally said, successfully interrupting the two and stopping them from starting an onslaught that would worsen the already bad condition of their room.
Still holding onto Lee's collar, Marie just glared back at May before letting go of Lee. The red-haired Kanker Sister, not exactly in the mood to figure her sister out, decided it was best to just continue with taking care of her teeth. She made her way back into the bathroom, and Marie said nothing more as she pulled the covers over her and tried to go back to sleep. May looked back at Marie and then towards the bathroom. Something was definitely wrong here.
Despite what many thought, May wasn't all that stupid. Ever since the altercation they had with the Eds last week, May could easily tell that Marie and Lee had been acting differently.
Lee had become obsessed with keeping her teeth clean, to the point where she would constantly be waking up in the middle of the night to brush and floss. Marie, on the other hand, hadn't been talking much at all. Her usual energy was all but gone, and when she did say something, it usually led up to a fit of rage.
Needless to say, the Kanker Sisters weren't in the best of situations. May couldn't stop thinking about Ed; mainly because she still had the belief that he had been laughing at her teeth. Another thought surfaced in her mind.
Did she and her sisters deserve all this? They did actually care about Ed, Edd n' Eddy...didn't they?
The blonde Kanker gulped as she sank back into the comfortable mattress of the bed they shared. The light from the nearby bathroom was quite annoying, as was the sound of Lee scrubbing her teeth with the force of a belt sander. Not exactly ideal sleep conditions.
Next to her, Marie was busy tossing and turning. She had said nothing about it to her sisters, but the dream that woke her up minutes before was stopping her from falling asleep. Grabbing her hair and kicking through the covers, Marie wished that she could just be in peace. It had been like this since the day they had lost to the Eds. The nightmares of a romantic and lovey dovey Double D just wouldn't stop.
Stuffing her head underneath the pillow, Marie wondered where she and her sisters had gone wrong. It wasn't like Ed, Edd 'n Eddy had actually gotten that reverse psycho stuff to actually work this time, right?
And if it wasn't that, then what was it? As far as Marie knew, Double D had been such a moron that day. He didn't cower in fear or run away like he usually did. He stood his ground and fought fire with fire. Marie knew he was very smart, but he didn't actually read her mind and figure out her ultimate fear, did he?
Mushy gushy romance. That was definitely her biggest fear, and he had managed to use it against her. That's what had been plaguing her nightmares for the last week. It was a wonder she didn't cower before Double D that day.
As sleep came on and her mind slowly drifted out of touch with the world around her, Marie couldn't help but have one stray thought.
Did she and her sisters really care about the three Eds, or was messing with them just a way for the Kanker Sisters to let off steam?
There was no doubt that it was an important, yet frightening question...
"Way cool! I am finally evolving, guys!" Ed chimed in an overly excited voice. Having finally gotten the chance to look at himself again, the biggest of the Eds was astounded with his new appearance. Double D couldn't help but also marvel at the success of his own work, while Eddy just grinned at the thought of how many jawbreakers this scam would rake in for them.
"I must admit that I may have outdone myself this time. That's about as close to an authentic Megatherium as we can get." Double D stated as he inspected Ed's new costume. The "fur" all over Ed's body was really just grass from Eddy's lawn that had been painted brown, while the large claws on Ed's hands and feet were nothing more than bananas dipped in silver paint. Still, it would all be convincing enough to the kids.
"You're a genius, you know that Sockhead? Now that we got Ed in the suit, Genuine Ed's Tar Pits of Peach Creek will soon have us eating jawbreakers for weeks!" Eddy said excitedly, and for once, Double D didn't find a reason to tell Eddy how this scam wasn't exactly foolproof.
There was always a huge error in all of Eddy's scams, of course. But this time was different. Double D felt like he owed Eddy the satisfaction of creating a scam that supposedly had no error.
"I saw this in a movie once! And then the creature's huge slimy tongue wrapped around the brave Space Outlaw's head, and the creature devoured it whole!" Ed announced as his tongue slid around Eddy's head and squeezed just a bit too hard. Lifting him up into the air, Ed laughed as he reenacted the scene from his movie. Eddy was not at all amused, and he struggled to free himself from the constricting grip of Ed's wet tongue.
"Quit fooling around, Monobrow! We don't got all day here!" Eddy practically screamed. Looking a bit disheartened, Ed let him go, and Eddy landed uncomfortably on the grass of his lawn. Rubbing his head, Eddy tried to ignore Ed's usual antics and proceeded to address both his friends.
"Alright, boys. Today's our lucky day. The golden opportunity has arrived. The kind where we can scam with no one coming in and screwing it up. And we're going to do it right, or I ain't gonna be a happy Eddy."
Ed laughed before patting his friend on the head with his painted banana hands, "Happy Eddy, happy Eddy, happy Eddy..."
Eddy just smacked Ed's hand away, "Will you stop already?"
Double D giggled as he scanned the contents of the clipboard in his hands. So far, all seemed to be going well. Eddy's plan to create "Genuine Ed's Tar Pits of Peach Creek" would be enacted in the next hour, and for once, they had no reason to fear Kanker interruptions.
It had been a full week since the day the Kanker Sisters had decided to finally leave Ed, Edd n Eddy alone. On the second night after the fateful first day, Double D could remember that he'd had trouble sleeping, probably because even he didn't fully believe that his plan had actually worked.
But more days went by, and the Eds still did not see any sign of the Kanker menace. Maybe they were lying in wait, ready to catch Ed, Edd n Eddy when they would least expect it. Or maybe they were sick of the Eds, and no longer had any reason to torment them.
Double D made a gap-toothed grin. The second idea seemed more plausible.
But as the sock-headed Ed watched his two friends, he couldn't help but feel as if something was out of place. This feeling had been cropping up here and there during the last week, and Double D was beginning to think that it was somehow attributed to the Kanker Sisters.
At first, Double D had laughed at himself for such a notion. But as the days flew by, he began to think that maybe such a notion wasn't all that far-fetched. It was almost as if Double D actually missed having the Kanker Sisters around or something...
But that's where the inconsistencies started again. Why would he EVER miss the torture and disrespect that Marie Kanker dished out? As far as Double D was concerned, it was a blessing that she and her sisters weren't bothering him and his friends anymore.
But something still felt out of place; like a piece of the cosmic puzzle had been taken out and thrown away.
Double D theorized this was require further study. Frankly, it was starting to become intriguing to him...