Chapter 1.


It hadn't always been like this, you know. We weren't always at each others throats, breaking crap in our shitty little apartment. Well, for me at least. I didn't really know how it was for Edward when he lived with his parents. I had a glimpse of what he let me see, I had a slight in sight from the scars all over his body and the bruises from when I first met him. God, when we first met it was like…it was like a bomb went off inside of me. It was like nothing but us mattered. Of course, my parents hated him because of the way he even breathed and they thought it was just my "seventeen year old girl needs a punk boyfriend to piss of her parents" phase, so they tried to prevent us from seeing each other, but it didn't exactly work out well.

I was the girl you would expect to graduate top of her class, was bubbly and friendly but still shy and conservative but when Edward Cullen moved to Forks, my perfect life that made me want to rip out my hair every time I woke up in the morning, everything changed. He hated me at first, sending me glares and I heard he even said aloud that he hated me. I didn't care though…at first.

Rene, my mother, was a kindergarten teacher at Forks Elementary while my father, Charlie, was the Chief of police in that armpit of a town. I put on my bright smiles and good grades for my parents and I let them have a picture of what they wanted in a daughter, but Edward changed me from that.

It really all started the last week of school. Edward had walked into school wearing his regular white v neck tee, a black leather jacket-even though it was far too hot to wear something like that outside-dark jeans and a pair of combat boots that made such a terrible thud every time he took a step, people knew when to cower in fear.

I was shifting through my locker, looking for my college prep book for trig class while talking to Jessica about what we would be doing all summer (probably just trespassing into people's back yards and use their pools while they were away on vacation, or laying out to tan at La Push) when I felt my locker slam closed right in front of me. I cringed away from the loud crash of the metal and looked to see who had slammed it closed, sending the person an immediate glare of hatred. Edward Cullen, the boy every girl wanted but was too shy to approach, was standing inches away from me, a cigarette hanging limply from his lips. He reeked of it and I wrinkled my nose in disgust at him.

"What do you want, Cullen?" I asked as Jessica gave me a look that clearly stated "I'm backing away VERY slowly now! Bye bye!". I focused my attention back to this guy and saw he had pulled away his black Ray Bans to show his beautiful emerald green eyes. He gave his little crooked grin he used to get the sluts of the school lured into the back of his stupid silver Volvo, COUGH! Lauren Mallory. COUGH, COUGH!

His threw his cigarette at his feet and leaned against the blue metal of the lockers, making them all creak at his weight. He looked me over, head to toe, immediately making me regret wearing such a stupid and short skirt to school today. He looked like a cat ready to lurch at a mouse or something, but I was stubborn and held my ground.

"Hello? Earth to Cullen? I have places to be, asshole! So if you wouldn't mind getting the fuck off my locker." I said deadpan. His attention snapped back to my face immediately and his grin grew even wider now. For a smoker, his teeth were the perfect shade of white. He rolled his eyes at me and licked his lips before speaking and flashing his eyes back and forth from me to the now almost empty hallway.

"Look swan," he said pulling out another cigarette from his pocket but I swatted it away from his hand and kicked it under the lockers with my pink ballet flat before he could light that bitch up. He looked up at me and spoke under his breath. "What the fuck did you do that for?" he said in a harsh tone. I rolled my eyes and spoke in a sarcastic tone.

"I'd prefer not to get second hand smoke damage to lungs anytime soon. If you want to fuck up your body, that's your business, not mine." I said trying to reach my locker now that he had shifted his weight a little off of it but he caught my attempt and leaned on it even further now, his grin growing impossibly wider again.

"Tsk, tsk." he said wagging his finger at me as the tardy bell rang over head. I had never been tardy to one class in my entire high school career, so I guess one class wouldn't matter. Plus, I'd get bitched at way more for not having my book versus being tardy. In fact, if Cullen kept me long enough, I would just grab my purse from my locker after this and skip. The day was basically over anyways for me.

"Now, I'll let you get into your stupid locker after you hear what I have to say, Little Miss High and Mighty." he said in a sarcastic tone now. I wanted to roll my eyes at the nick name he gave me, but I used all my will to remain my poker face at the moment.

"Okay," I said in a hesitant tone. "So what do you want then?" I asked crossing my arms over my chest now and pretended like I really wanted to know what he was going to say. It probably came off as sarcastic though. His eyes rested on my chest for a moment through my thin pink sweater to the low cut tee I was wearing and I scoffed, finally allowing myself to roll my eyes.

"Well," he said taking a breath and finally looked up at my face instead of my tits. "I wanted to ask what you were doing this Friday night?" he said smiling at me now with a more polite little grin you'd expect boys like Mike Newton to put on. You know, the nice boys who played sports like soccer and held a girl's hand and didn't fuck whorey little tramps like Lauren Mallory with her leather minni-skirts and low cut halters that made guys drool. I was probably her good girl equal, now that I thought of it.

I looked over Edward's face, thinking his stupid friends, James, Emmet and Jasper probably put him up for this. In fact I think I looked around the hall and listened in our silence for a minute, hoping to see or hear those idiots waiting for my response. But there was nothing, no one. Just Edward and I.

"You're serious?" I scoffed at him, raising an eyebrow in hesitation. He rolled his eyes at me and pursed his lips for a moment then nodded as he ducked his head and kicked his chunky combat boot out form under him. "Look, if you are gunna reject me, just do it already, alright?" he asked in an angry tone. I sighed and closed my eyes for a minute. I felt really bad for pissing him off but then again, I was pissed of too. I opened my mouth to do what he had told me to but when he looked up at me, there was something in those beautiful green eyes, a softness almost, that made me turn to putty. It made me think there was more to Edward Cullen besides fucking, drugs, a leather jacket and booze. that's when I said what I thought I'd never say.

"Nope." I said popping the 'p' at the end of the word. "No real plans for Friday…yet." I said as he looked up at me with the most genuine smile I had ever seen on this guy.

"Well would you like to go with me to go grab a burger or something?" he asked a little bit happier now. I smiled and scoffed for a minute then eagerly smiled back.

"Yeah." I said looking down at my pale legs then looked up at him again. "Yeah, that sounds good." I said smiling up at him and he…smiled back.

That Friday night, I had lied to Charlie and Rene for the first time in my entire life, after picking the perfect outfit that is. It seemed that even so early into the relationship, Edward Cullen was causing me to change with a snap of his pale, long fingers. I told them I was going to meet up with Jess and Angela, another one of my girlfriends, for a girls night out-as how it was every Friday-and took my truck to meet Edward at the back of Dean's Burger Joint.

Honestly, I didn't expect to see him standing there, leaning on the hood of his Volvo smoking on a cigarette again, waiting for me. When he hear the click of my heels hitting the gravel-yes, I wore heels to a burger joint-he instantly flicked the drag down and stomped it out with his boots. He looked me over after quickly getting up off the car and raked his eyes over me. I guess he liked my jean shorts and blue and white striped tank…

"You look…" he said looking over me again for a long minute then shook his head and changed the subject. "I got the burgers already." he said holding up a greasy bag of what looked like burgers and fries probably. I looked at him confused and looked at the kids from school I knew walking in with their dates.

"Aren't we going inside?" I asked pointing to the door lightly and then looked back at him. He scoffed and shook his head lightly, causing his already messed up hair to become even more disheveled…and hot.

"Naw," he said opening the passengers side door and gesturing for me to get in. I hesitated fro a minute, contemplating on weather or not I should trust my life to this guy I'd always thought hated me, and shared the feeling mutually with. But I sighed and decided it was a what-the-hell kind of night. I mean I had already ditched class once this week and lied to my parents.

"Then where are we headed, Cullen?" I asked as I slid into the passengers seat. He closed the door lightly then walked over to his side and slipped in. I looked around the car and took in a deep breath, half expecting the smell of sweat or semen or something to hit me, but it just smelled like…leather. There wasn't any used condoms on the floor, or empty bottles of booze or even one bag filled with a white powder in it. It was actually really clean and looked brand new on the inside in fact, but I refused to look anywhere near the backseat. I simply kept my eyes on the cup holders or the dashboard.

"We are headed to a favorite spot of mine…" he said handing me the bag of burgers and sped off into the night. I had told my parents I would probably crawl in around two or three in the morning and since they trusted me so much they didn't really mind, but if I didn't show up around twelve then I was probably dead. Cullen, probably having defiled me and killed me or something.

I sighed and tried to push that stupid thought out of my mind and nodded smiling up at him wryly. He wasn't looking at me though now, he was focusing on the drive as the road that lead up to La Push got a bit bumpier.

"I thought you were the chiefs daughter?" Edward said laughing lightly. I looked up at him confused.

"W-what d-d-do you m-mean?" I asked shakily from the bumps on the road. I was using my hand to distance my head from the roof of the car so the bumps wouldn't send me flying up and I'd knock my head on the roof or something.

"You aren't wearing your seat belt." he said smirking at me with a wink as he spoke in a perfectly composed voice. I looked at him to retort smartly back that he wasn't wither but in fact…he was. So it looked like this bad boy actually has a sorta good side.

I rolled my eyes and sighed in relief when we finally cam to a stop at the top of one of La Push's cliffs. I gasped as Edward opened the door for me and helped me out, but I was even more shocked at the view up here. The moon was full tonight and looked so close to the waves beneath us that the perfect reflection of the moon glowed brilliantly before me. I took a step closer to the edge when I felt my shoe slip and I almost screamed, thinking I was going to fall to my death, when I felt a warm hand grip onto my elbow and pull me up further away from the edge. I looked up and saw Edward looking past my shoulder to see over the edge of the cliff.

"Geeze," he chuckled and pulled me a little closer to him. For a split second I felt sort of uncomfortable but that faded away quickly. "Don't be such a klutz, Swan." Edward said jokingly as I noticed he had both a quilt nad ther burgers in his other hand. I was grateful he saved me, but pretty pissed he called me a slut. I let it go though. I wouldn't let my hot head get ahead of me tonight.

"It's beautiful up here…" I whispered gently to Edward as I followed him to a spot a little bit further than where we had been standing. He had laid the blanket out on a flat patch of stone and plopped the bag of burgers down before sitting down and patting the side beside him.

"Yeah...I come here and a few other places to," fuck a girl then go for a dip to wash off the herpes? "think." he said as I took off my heels and carried them with me over to the spot where he had wanted me to sit.

He pulled the burgers out of the greasy bag and handed one to me. "I took you for a veggie burger type, so I got you all the way, no cheese and here are your fries." he said handing me the piece of crap that shouldn't even be called a burger. I was skinny, yeah, but when it came to burgers I knew how to eat.

"What did you get?" I said eyeing his burger that he now pulled out. It looked a lot bigger than mine, in it's yellow paper wrapping. He looked up at me confused and spoke in a hesitant manner.

"Angus beef burger, double cheese with bacon and onions only." he said pulling out his fries next. I eagerly grabbed the burger he had on his lap and traded it with my crappy burger he had ordered me. Before he could even protest I unwrapped the delicious sandwich and sunk my teeth into the burger, sighing in contentment.

"Well," Edward said staring at me rip into the burger. "I guess I pinned you wrong." he said laughing as I swallowed my mouthful of food then spoke lightly while staring up at the beautiful moon.

"It's alright. A lot of people tend to do that to me. They think since I'm number one in my class and that I always look perfect, that I actually am. But…I'm not. I'm human too." I sighed and closed my eyes for a minute, leaving half of the burger beside me. I felt a hand snatch it from my own and looked to see Edward had practically only one bite left out of it. I shrugged, knowing I probably full by now. I didn't protest.

"Yeah…I guess people do the same for me. They think I'm all bad ass and shit but I guess I'm sort of a coward in a way. I'm actually really shy…" he said finishing off the burger then throwing all our trash in the bag he had brought the burgers in. we didn't eve touch our fries. I leaned back on my palms and sighed. He did the same.

"Sorry I pegged you…" Edward whispered looking at me now. I turned to see his face was really close to mine now in fact.

"I-it's okay…I think I did the same. I'm sorry." I whispered looking into those perfect green eyes. God, could he get any hotter. I could feel the silence around us now, only feeling his breath and hearing the sound of my heart beating a million miles per hour.

"It's okay." he finally whispered and soon I felt we were both leaning in. that's when I panicked and threw myself back a little bit before speaking in a hurried tone.

"I'm really thirsty." I said clearing my throat and looking from him so I wouldn't let him see my blush that was now rising on my face. When I turned back he was sitting up a little bit further from me too now.

"Yeah," he said gruffly and cleared his throat. "I forgot drinks, sorry. But I know this place that makes the best milk shakes you will ever drink…" he said looking at me from the corner of his eye. This made my heart flutter, I knew I had tons of time before I had to be home but just a few more hours with this guy would make me feel like I was in heaven. I know, how stupid. One date with a guy I thought I hated and now I thought he was basically the next best thing to an Abercrombie model…but we all know those boy are gay so I guess Cullen was the next best thing.

"Really?" I said crossing one leg over the other and smacked on my 'flirty' smile. Edward looked up and watched as I swung my foot lightly over the edge of the rock we were sitting on. He cleared his throat and smiled up at me playfully.

"Yeah. It's on me." he said as he got up then helped me up. I was starting to slip on my heels again when he stopped me. "You probably should leave them off." he said folding up the quilt now. I looked up at him with one eyebrow arched in question. "You might kill yourself." he said teasingly pointing to the edge of the cliff. I rolled my eyes but as I walked beside him to the car and almost tripped, again, I spoke under my breath.

"Good idea…" I whispered hoping he wouldn't hear.

After driving out of La Push Edward did the thing I would have never expected him to do; roll down his sun roof to let the cool night air in and all the windows as well-which sent my hair flying everywhere around me-and turned on the radio to one of my favorite songs by My Chemical Romance. I could see him mouthing the words lightly to himself as his tapped the steering wheel with his palm and the beat and then I started singing. I knew the song by heart but would never dare sing it or admit I knew it around anyone besides Edward Cullen.

I guess he noticed me singing because then he started singing it too until we were both belching out lungs out with the song. When it ended I noticed he was finally pulling up to a small ice cream shop as we were laughing. He looked over me and smiled genuinely.

"You know, I didn't think you would like that type of music either…" he said flicking off the music as we pulled up into a drive through. A boy as skinny as a pole with Red curls that looked about as clean as a rat's butt and zits came out to give us a Chetto colored smile. I'll have a chocolate malt and a…" Edward looked over to me and I climbed over his lap to see the person over at the window.

"I'll have a strawberry malt with whip cream, two waters and a cherry on top of the whipped cream, please." I said winking at the boy playfully. He gave this weird noise that sounded as if he were going to go into an asthma attack but instead he quickly shut the glass window and eagerly went to work on those orders. I felt Edward's arms pull me back down and I flopped back onto the seat laughing my lungs out.

"What was that about?" Edward said a hint of anger coating his voice. I looked over at the drive through window and then back at Edward.

"The waters and strawberry malt is going to be free." I said smugly smirking to myself. I had always done that sort of crap with little boys like that in the mall when I wanted a free water or something, so I knew it would work on this guy.

"What makes you so sure of that?" Edward asked smiling at me now. I'm surprised he wasn't phased by having my ass in his face for a bit, but he wasn't.

"You'll see." I cooed and watched as the boy finally reappeared and handed Edward the two waters, the malts and the receipt.

"Y-your total is two fifty two, s-sir. The l-lady's requests a-a-are on the house…" the poor boy stuttered as he voice cracked and squeaked at all levels of awful octaves and he smiled at me. Edward was trying to keep himself from bursting out laughing as he paid and finally handed me my malt. I probably did the sluttiest thing next, determined to prove my point to Edward.

I plucked the cherry right off the top of the whipped cram mountain, popped it in my mouth and took my time pulling the stem out of my mouth as winked at the poor boy. When I looked over at Edward he looked at me just as the boy before us had. I giggled and turned back to the boy.

"Thanks, doll!" I cooed to the boy as Edward put the car in drive and begant o pull out of the drive through. When he finally pulled into a parking spot, I fully expected him to burst out laughing but instead just sat there panting, as he stared out the window shield. There were no cars around or in front of us so I wondered what he was thinking about, taking a sip of my malt. Edward was right, this was the best malt I had ever had in my life.

"Hey-" I started but was cut off by Edward pulling me out of my seat and onto his lap, crushing his lips to mine. At first I went ridged, but after a few seconds of feeling his soft lips against mine, I loosened up and leaned my lips into his finally. I let my fingers travel up his neck and finally entwined my fingers into his hair before I felt myself straddling Edward freaking Cullen…and loving it. He finally pressed his tongue out to run across my lower lips before sucking it into his mouth and I let out a light moan. God he tasted great, even for a smoker. I felt his hips rise to grind against mine, allowing me to feel his rather large bulge, and I let out another little whimper. This was not fair. He was making me all hot and bothered but I was doing nothing for him. That's when I pulled my lips from his and took in a gasp of air before attacking his neck.

He let out a groan when I pulled his ear lobe into my mouth and his hands dropped to my hips, gripping me tight but certainly not too tight as he began to grind against me lightly.

"That stunt you pulled over there with that kid," Edward said breathily as he kept grinding. I hummed as I moved to the over side of his neck, nibbling here and there and mumbled out a little "Mhmm?" sending him to shake out another breath before speaking.

"It was really hot." he whispered finally and I pulled back, leaning against the steering wheel with my hands resting on his shoulders as I allowed myself to finally feel how wonderful the friction he was causing between my legs felt. I felt my eyes flutter closed. I felt his warm hands begin to slowly creep up my tank top until the tips of this finger were ghosting over the flesh of my stomach and even higher until he finally reached my bra. I moaned as he began to run his hands over my flesh and when he heard the sound escape my lips, he allowed his hips to press further against me now. Goodness, he really knew how to make me hot.

"Bella," I heard my name escape his lips but I didn't open my eyes. I just let him keep going. "Look at me Bella." I heard him whisper against my neck now in a husky voice. My eyes opened immediately in obedience and I met his eyes with mine.

He was starring at me with eyes coated over with a veil of nothing but lust now. I leaned forward and pressed my forehead to his as I mewled again as he ground even harder against me now. My thighs were shaking not only from the uncomfortable position of straddling this guy but also from the erupting feeling bubbling up in my stomach now.

He finally decided to go faster with his movements now and soon I was whimpering his name, seeing nothing but sparks in my vision. I felt my body go limp and my body lay on his now but Edward was still going, grinding frantically against me now. His thrust became erratic and his grip on my hips as he pressed me down just a little further became tighter.

"Keep going…" I whispered into his ear as seductively as I could. It was lame, yeah, but I just wanted him to know that I was a patient person.

"Almost-" he groaned out right before I felt him moan and then he went limp too. He wrapped his arms around my waist gently as we both tried to calm our breathing habits by now. I recovered bit faster than he did and finally lifted myself up a bit, looking to see he had his eyes closed as tried to breathe again. I started to get off him now and move back to my own seat when his eyes snapped open and he held me a bit tighter to him now, almost possessively.

"Where are you going?" he asked giving me a little grin that gave off smugness and joy. I rolled my eyes and smiled back at him before speaking in a sarcastic tone.

"I think my leg fell asleep." I said as we both looked down at the uncomfortable position I was in. We both laughed and Edward nodded, letting me go back to my seat. He lifted up the top part of the little cubby between us and pulled out a carton of cigarettes and a lighter. He lit one up, blowing the smoke out of the opened window and I chuckled lightly noticing his stare focusing back on me.

"What?" he asked flicking the bud out of the window and beginning the drive back home. I shook my head and lifted the cup in which had once been a malt.

"It melted." I laughed as I checked Edwards as well to see his was in the same soupy state as mine. He rolled his eyes and I sighed as I let the wind hit my face and calm me down a bit. When I felt the car had finally stopped in the parking lot of Dean's I opened my eyes to see I had fallen asleep, Edward was staring at me now. I sort of rolled onto my side in the seat to face him and sighed happily.

"You don't have to be something you aren't, you know…" he whispered gently. He sounded so sweet, nothing like I had heard or seen Edward Cullen behave before.

"W-what?" I asked sort of stunned that he actually spoke of something that personal with me.

"You act like you have to be perfect around everyone." he said raising his hand to brush a piece of hair out of my face then slowly lowered it down to my cheek and stopped, leaving his warm palm there on the side of my neck.

"That's because I do have to act perfect around everyone…except you." I said looking down at the cubby that held his cigarettes between us. It was silent for a while until he finally broke it and spoke quietly, careful not to startle me out of my trance.

"Meet me here tomorrow around the same time?" he asked lightly. Today had been the last day of school so I'd be happy to oblige. I nodded my head in agreement and slowly began to slide out of his car.

"I'll see you tomorrow." I said before closing the door behind me and rushing over to my truck, heels in hand. I slid in and looked at the clock. Looks like I'd have to sneak in that night.

Edward and I had seen more and more of each other over the summer months and gradually we opened up to each other more and more every day. He never showed his violent side to me those first few months, proving that he was actually a sort of gentleman, but when he told me about his home life and how his father had used to beat his mother so bad she'd wind up in the hospital sometimes and how he'd tried to stop his father form whaling on his mother and took the beatings instead, I broke down in tears. I had it so much easier than he ever had and here I was thinking my lie was terrible. I felt stupid and moronic.

He was baffled by this, wondering why I would feel the need to cry over such a silly thing. That was the first night we ever said "I love you" to one another.

Edward changed me over the time we spent together. Instead of wearing horrible things that I hated, like skirts and pinks or frilly stuff all together, I wore jeans and simple white v-neck tees and combat boots, just like Edward. of course I never matched him or anything but he got me comfortable with who I really was. I had tried to introduce Edward to my parents as my boyfriend, but Charlie whipped out the shot gun as soon as he entered the door and Rene broke down in tears. Charlie banned me from seeing Edward, causing me to have to sneak out almost every night.

Our senior year I still graduated valedictorian, and Edward graduated along side me with all his credits and actually a pretty good GPA. I was really proud of him and he had stuck by me that whole year that we came out as a couple and no one really wanted to be around me anymore since I kind of followed my own style now and wasn't Little Miss Perfect anymore. I was happy though. Edward and I moved to Phoenix after High school and I finished college, with a degree in Literature while Edward got his in Liberal Arts. We had a good life together until everything started to fall apart…leading to this.

I'm Isabella Marie Swan…this is my story.