Green Apples

Summary: One-shot – Beck has a confession. Cat has a solution. Jade is considering. And Tori is just confused.

Pairings: Tori/Jade/Beck (my new crack pairing).

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters featured in this story. They all belong to Dan Schneider.

Green Apples

"I like Tori."

Beck's declaration is met with mixed reactions from his friends. Robbie chokes on his own saliva. Trina doesn't look away from her compact mirror. André has a 'WTF?' look. And Cat… just blinks a few times.

It's Tori and Jade's reactions that are the most dramatic though. Tori falls off her chair and hits the classroom floor with a fleshy smack. And Jade… Jade now resembles a lion right before it pounces on the gazelle and rips its throat out.

"Excuse me? Could you repeat that?"

Jade's voice sounds normal and that's even more terrifying than any other reaction she could have. Normal means she's 0.5 seconds away from a bloodbath.

André subtly moves so Trina is now in front of him.

She doesn't notice.

"I like Tori. Like, romantic like. But I also still like Jade. A lot. And I want to stay with her. But I also want to be with Tori. I don't know what to do."

Beck sounds like a little boy through his whole speech. He is even avoiding eye contact with everyone and looks close to just getting up and running away.

André, Robbie and even Tori feel a pinch of sympathy for him.

But only a pinch.

"So why are you telling all of us in an empty classroom after school instead of just your girlfriend and Tori?"

A deaf man could pick up the accusation in André's question.

"Because I wanted all of your support and advice in this. You guys are like family to me."

Beck answers this in the same little boy voice as before and stares at the group with big brown eyes that could melt butter.

André knows better.

Translation: You guys are the distraction for when I make a break for it.

"Um, I'm confused. If you wanna be with Jade and Tori then why don't you just be with them both?"

Sometimes they all forgot that Cat's IQ was a single digit. But then she said something like that and they all remembered the reason why she wasn't allowed near plugs.

"Um, Cat, it's not quite like that. See—"

Robbie's attempt at explaining the dynamics of a relationship is cut off by the last person anyone would have expected.

"That… is not a bad idea. Come here, Vega."

All eyes shift first to Jade, who has just spoken, and then to Tori, who has finally retaken her seat. Jade is now wearing a contemplative look as she measures the girl sitting across from her. And Tori is now wearing the expression of one who is watching their pyre be built.


Jade only has to narrow her eyes before Tori is up and moving over to sit down in the empty seat next to her. As soon as she sits Jade pulls her over by the shoulders and gives her a long and lingering kiss.

André's jaw drops.

Robbie drops Rex.

Cats smiles and claps her hands like a seal doing tricks for fish.

Beck looks like he doesn't know if he should pinch himself or not.

And Trina… continues to do her makeup.

No one speaks until the kiss ends and Jade pulls away. She is wearing her usual smug smirk while Tori looks like the only thing keeping her from visiting the floor again is Jade's hand still on her shoulder.

The awkward silence continues.

"Well, you weren't as terrible as I expected."

Coming from Jade, that's pretty much a compliment.

"Thank you? You, um… You taste like green apples."

Tori was raised to be a polite girl, and even in alternate reality moments like this it shows.

"I know. It's the gum."

Jade is casual as she trails her hand from Tori's shoulder down over her whole arm before stopping at her hand. Encircling their fingers together with the possessive grip she usually saves for Beck, she pulls the dazed Tori up with her, and then holds her other hand out to Beck.

"Let's go. I'm hungry and I want food now. Maybe something Mexican."

Beck stands and moves to take her hand without thinking about it. Obeying Jade has been engraved into his very subconscious by now.

"Does… Does this mean you're both my girlfriends now?"

Beck's question is met with a scorn from Jade.

"Hell no. It means that I have a boyfriend and a girlfriend now."

And with that said Jade drags out her boyfriend and girlfriend with her in her pursuit of something Mexican flavored to eat.

The others are left behind, forgotten.

"I… don't know who I feel more sorry for now. Beck or Tori."

André sounds honestly torn over this dilemma.

"I don't know if I should envy Beck or pity him."

Robbie also sounds conflicted.

"Man, Beck gets all the babes."

Rex voices the thought both André and Robbie are secretly thinking.

"I'm so happy everything turned out so well."

And Cat sounds like her usual perky self.

Trina still hasn't looked up from her mirror.