Hi there! I meant to hold onto this until I'd finished Alice Underground…but I just couldn't wait! I hope you all enjoy it…I'm having fun writing this! I'd like to thank katzsoa and Niphuria…you both have helped quite a bit! And now, for the boring things…

Rating: K

Disclaimer: I regret to announce that I STILL don't own Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland, and probably never will. All rights go to Lewis Carroll, Disney, and Tim Burton.

Summary: In this story, we shall find the answer to that age old question that has plagued man for years: What would happen if the Mad Hatter shrank to the size of a mouse? (pause) Who wrote this?

Chapter I: Just One Tiny Problem…

Mallymkun looked around with a broad grin.

The Mad Hatter was asleep. The March Hare was in the windmill, getting some more sugar.

The newly filled teacups were still steaming a bit.

Perfect.

Slowly, stealthily, the white dormouse crept over to the teacups on the dish. She smirked as she leaned over the rim of one of the large ones.

Why was she feeling so mischievous? So very, very naïve? Could it be the seven cubes of sugar she'd somehow managed to cram into her miniature teacup that morning, she wondered? Did it really matter?

Mally looked over at Tarrant once again, just in case.

He was still napping.

Stifling a giggle, the little dormouse reached into her apron pockets and pulled out a tiny, black vial. She uncorked it quietly and tipped its contents into the cup closest to Thackery's current seating position. Then she raced back to her spot, and sat down just as the Hare came out of the windmill, the creaking door hinges rousing the Hatter immediately.

"Hm? What? Oh!" he exclaimed, and smiled at the Hare as he slammed a bowl of sugar cubes onto the table, hopping into his seat. Sugar flew everywhere.

"Sugar's here," grinned the Hare.

"Pass some here, Hare!" Mally said, waving a paw.

"Nae!" snapped Thackery Earwicket, clutching the bowl to his chest protectively. "Nae more fer ye, Mally! Ye've had enoough today!"

Mally just smiled as the Hare placed the bowl back on the table, and then handed her tiny cup over to her. She blew away the steam, and watched as the Hare flicked two cubes at the Hatter, who caught them in one hand and dropped them into his cup. The Hare took three cubes himself, and put them in his cup.

"Not too many, Thackery!" warned Mally. "It might be a little too sweet for you!"

The Hare gave her a strange look.

"Yes, and then you'd start acting like her," joked Tarrant, smiling at Mally.

God, she loved that smile…

She blushed a bit and giggled, taking a sip of her own tea.

Tarrant and the Hare each raised their cups in toast. Mally joined them.

"To the Frabjous Day!"

"Aye!"

"Why not?"

GULP.

Gulp.

gulp.

There was a short silence. A rare thing at the tea parties of the March Hare, the Mad Hatter, and the Dormouse.

Mally never took her eyes off Thackery, not even bothering to hide her expectant smile. (Which was fine, since the Hare never noticed it.) It was only a matter of time…the tea would delay the effects of the potion.

"So…" she began after a short while. "Thackery, did you notice anything…different about your tea?"

Thackery looked at her curiously.

"Nae…"

"Not even the smallest difference? A little bit of a…sour flavor?"

"Er…nae…" replied the March Hare, uneasily. "Whatcha talkin' aboot, Mally?"

"Oh," Mally said, disappointedly. Perhaps the tea had dulled it completely…

Then she looked at the Hatter.

He was smacking his lips, as if trying to rid his mouth of a most unpleasant taste.

Oh…no…

"W-well…what about you, Tarrant?"

"Well…er…I…uh…" stammered the Hatter, and coughed. Recovering, he cleared his throat and looked at his fellow party-goers. "Say…Thackery…Mally…what was in that tea? No offense, but I think it tasted quite awful."

The Hare jabbered, cocking his head to one side, as if trying to decide whether or not to take offense at the Hatter's statement. Mally's eyes widened and she turned back to her tea, her whiskers twitching.

He must have taken the wrong cup! Oh, dear madness…this is NOT good…

Then, slowly, a smile crept over her lips, and she began to giggle madly.

WAIT a minute!

The Mad Hatter looked at her with lemon-colored eyes, confused.

"Mally? What's so funny? What…?"

"GAE!" shrieked Thackery, pointing wildly at Tarrant's jacket. "LUK, LUK, LUK! LUK DOON, HATTER! LUK DOON!"

Tarrant raised an eyebrow and looked down at himself.

He gaped and spluttered.

Was his coat getting bigger?

No! HE was getting SMALLER!

He looked at his cup, which seemed to be growing every second.

A swirl of green mixed in with the brown.

He glared up at the dormouse, who was by this point rolling on the table and laughing hysterically. His eyes were like tangerines.

"MALL - !"

The top hat fell over his face.