Disclaimer: Harry Potter is the property of JK Rowling. If it was mine, Fred, Hedwig and Tonks would never have died, George would marry Luna and there would have been a better last chapter that included some serious snogging between Harry and Ginny and a hell of a better epilogue than that piece of crap.

A/N Just call this my little denial piece...because, you know...everyone who disliked most of Deathly Hallows has to have at least one.


Chapter One

Let The Battle Begin

A blistering summer had come to Diagon Alley; heat shimmered off the cobblestone in sweltering waves. It was the kind of summer day where people did their shopping early in the morning because they knew it was going to be far too hot by mid day. The sort of day where, despite the heat, shop owners stubbornly kept their doors open…just in case.

Fred and George Weasley were the most stubborn shop keepers of them all, though it could be argued that after withstanding all of those explosions, a little bit of summer heat shouldn't bother them in the least. It was partly true; Fred and George didn't mind the heat much. They had always enjoyed the sun and so, instead of sitting inside the stuffy shop, they pulled a couple of loungers out and sat on the sidewalk out front.

"You know…" Fred took a deep drink from his glass of mint iced tea "We could close up and go see mum and dad; I bet they're all swimming out back in the pond."

"We could." George nodded.

Neither moved a muscle. The minutes ticked by, glasses drained, their bodies grew limp with heat induced grogginess. Then, the sound of whistling broke the silence. Far away at first, faint…so faint they didn't bother to open their eyes, but then it grew louder and they forced their eyes open to search out the source.

Two blocks down a woman skipped along the sidewalk, her sun bleached long blonde hair was pulled up with a baby blue ribbon into a high curly pony tail. She wore a short baby blue sundress and flat white espadrilles, the delicate ribbon wrapped over her toes, around her ankles and then up her calves…drawing their eyes up her shapely legs.

The girl herself was rather small, yet there was no mistaking the fact that she was no little girl; she, in fact, filled out the sundress quite well. As she moved onto the end of their block they realized that she was also quite pretty, and not just that…they knew this woman.

That wasn't exactly true, they had known the girl; the skinny girl with the odd eyes, stringy hair and weird beliefs. They hadn't seen Luna Lovegood in years … had never met the woman. The last time they had seen her was just after the war ended, she had only been sixteen then…she had to be about twenty-one now.

My how people changed.

Fred and George pushed up from their loungers in anticipation of greeting her as she passed. Luna was closer now, only a few doors down….close enough that they could see quite well the way her breasts jiggled with every skip…they tried desperately not to stare…pretty much a losing battle. Luna caught their eyes on her and she waved happily…for the first time they noticed her dimples and wondered if her smile had always been so sweet.

"Hello Fred, Hello George." Luna came to a stop in front of them, her breasts giving an entirely distracting final jiggle as she stopped on a dime. To their dismay, she pulled her arms behind her, crossing them behind her back and making them stick out.

"Hello." They chorused together…typical Fred and George.

Luna laughed. "I've always liked that, how you two sometimes spoke at the same time. Did you practice when you were kids?"

"No." Once again, they echoed together, causing Luna to laugh. It was a sweet tinkling sound, like the bells above their shop door.

Fred grinned a little. "We never practiced."

"Never had to." George completed the thought…something else they had never had to practice "Just came naturally."

"Would you like to join us?" Fred sat up and crossed his legs, making room on the end of his lounger.

Not to be outdone, George sat up as well. "Yes, plenty of space, just pick the one you like."

Fred shot him a nasty look while Luna settled herself on the end of George's lounger.

'His was just the closest'

"Could we offer you a drink?" George spoke hastily…he would love a minute alone with her…what better way then to send Fred inside.

"George would be happy to get you something." Fred finished, flashing George a look that warned him to not even try it.

"Oh, no thank you." Luna smiled "I'm on my way to Mr. Fortescue's for an Ice Cream cone. I love Ice Cream on a hot day…don't you?"

Both forced the mental image of how Luna might look while eating said cone away. It was far from proper and besides that, it might lead to certain embarrassing physical effects that would be hard to hide, considering they were wearing cut offs and tanks instead of their usual robes.

"Oh yes. Love Ice Cream." Once again, they spoke at the same time…Luna giggled.

"So, what have you been up to?" Fred shifted in his seat uncomfortably and picked up his glass of melting ice, resisting the urge to dump it in his lap.

"I just finished my last year of university." Luna smiled happily "Now I am helping my dad set up the new Quibbler office a couple of blocks down. "

George's mind, still a bit hazy over the whole ice cream thing, snapped to alertness. "Will you be working there too?"

"Mmm hmm." She nodded, making her pony tail brush over her shoulder. "I went to school for publishing. Dad is getting on in years so… you know, time for me to learn the business so I can take over in a couple of years when he is ready to retire. I spent the morning typing up an article on Blibering Humdingers. Dad thinks they might be quite abundant this summer… that would be good for the Gurdyroot farmers. "

Fred and George looked at one another…this upped the ante.

"Are you sure you wouldn't like something to drink?" Fred offered once again…determined to weasel out at least a minute alone with her.

"No thanks." She shook her head...George raised an eyebrow at his brother in warning. "But if you wouldn't mind…" She motioned towards George's glass of melting ice.

"Not at all." George smirked at Fred as he handed the glass over. Luna drained the inch of water from the bottom and then looked at the glass.

"Thank you. Oh, but now you have none. I'll be happy to refill it for you if you'll show me where."

Fred gave George a look that promised imminent death…or at least a very good chance that he would wake up with bright yellow hair the next day if he so much as thought about going inside alone with Luna.

"Not necessary!" Fred grinned and sat back in his chair, sure that George had been properly cowed. "So tell me Luna, does your boyfriend mind that you'll be spending so much time working this summer?"

"No, of course he doesn't." She smiled, her eyes dancing with humor. Fred and George felt their hearts drop somewhere in the vicinity of their bare feet. Figures…she had to be taken.

"Of course, he might care more if I had one."

The Ante tripled.

"No boyfriend? As pretty as you are?" he asked "There must have been boys lined up for blocks when you were at university."

"No, Derwent University is an all girls school." Luna giggled "Not many boys at an all girls school."

George was suddenly finding himself quite fond Dillys Derwent, former healer and one time Hogwarts Headmistress...even though she had lived long before his time.

"So Luna…" George began "I was wondering…"

Fred cut across him "If you would like a tour of the shop?"

George fixed his brother with a glare; all bets were off now…he could play just as dirty.

"I would love to, but…maybe some other time." She stood and smoothed down her skirt "I really must be going now; I told Dad I wouldn't be gone long."

Fred and George stood so quickly that they bumped into one another, nearly knocking each other back into their chairs. They wore twin blushes as they righted themselves, then both took a lovely slim hand and kissed it.

"It's been lovely chatting with you." Fred smiled 'Would have been lovelier without my bloody arse of brother present.'

"Stop by again soon." George grinned 'When my bloody arse of a brother isn't around'

"I will." Luna resumed her skip down the side walk, then looked over her shoulder for just a second to wave. "Bubye!"

She was barely out of ear shot when Fred and George turned to one another, their faces hard and determined.

"Dibs!" Once again…it was a duet.

"Dibs!" A perfect harmony.


Damn it.

"Flip you for it." Fred reached into his pocket.

George reached into his own pocket, coming out empty handed. "You're on. I don't have a coin, do you?"

"Nope." Fred pulled out his own empty hand. "Be right back."

Fred rounded the corner and stepped inside the cool dark shop. After waiting a moment for his eyes to adjust he waved his wand over the register and pulled out a galleon, then clicked the drawer closed.

But of course, by the time he reached the sidewalk…George was long gone. He arrived just in time to see George, whistling and flipping a coin as he walked, approach Luna where she sat at an outside table at Mr. Fortescue's.

Fred slid back into his lounger, letting his head fall back against the hot wood. He groaned as he watched his brother and Luna, George had just picked up her hand from where it sat between them on the table…and Luna wasn't pulling it away. Damn it.

"I am so bloody stupid." Fred muttered, totally annoyed at having been outsmarted by his younger-by-thirty-minutes brother.

The worst thing was that he couldn't be mad at George. First, he was the one who started fight dirty. Second, all was fair when it came to love, war and pretty girls, and finally…

George had done nothing more than he would have done.

If he wasn't so bloody damn stupid.


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