My new obsession Dexter presents Shiv Shank. Brian was the main reason I kept to it. Dexter's the second reason.
Dislaimer: Don't own it. Jeff Lindsay does.
Shiv Shank Prologue
I have my forehead pressed to his. A last gesture of endearment for Barely Brain dead Brian. His breathing is calm despite that he is strapped to a table in Saran wrap and duct tap, very aware that he is mere moments from death. If it was anyone else but my brother, I would find a bit of ironic humor with the situation. With the fact that he is about to be killed on the very same table that those five hookers - that he'd playfully sliced and diced into little chopped up pieces - had. Since it is in fact my newly discovered sibling strapped down in front of me, I feel nothing of the sort. Instead, I feel an odd rising sense of fear. Fear of what I did not know. It is unusual for me to feel anything in the first place, being the cold, emotionless monster that I am. And yet...
"I know what you've been going through all these years. The isolation, the otherness, the hunger that's never satisfied", he'd said, eyes boring into my nonexistent soul. "But you're not alone anymore, Dexter. You can be yourself. With me. Your real, genuine self."
My real, genuine self.
Only in the tantalizing, howling moonlit night did I let my Dark Passenger roam free, tearing its claws into monsters not unlike myself, while on the surface I maintained a flawless camouflage; devoted boyfriend to Rita, doting big brother to Deborah, and average blood spatter analyst at Miami Dade Police Department. I fancied myself a master of disguise. A wolf in sheep's clothing.
But Brian, Big Brother Brian, had shaken my perfect life at its roots the moment he had barged his way in with his bloodless bodies and his Barbie dolls. When he had stepped out of our childhood home with that smile of a predator that had finally cornered its prey. I had felt pure, utter shock for the first time in my life. It was not fascination as when he had turned my world upside down with his beautiful, pallid corpses. Nor was it horror at the fact that Harry had lied to me about having a brother in the first place.
No, it was just authentic, jaw-dropping awe. Awe caused by the fact that I had a brother. A real, flesh and blood sibling. Standing only a few feet away. And he was just like me. The thought made me shiver.
Now here he is, bound up like a package about to be opened. Just like so many of my other victims. But he is different. He is not a trophy or an animal to be slaughtered. He is kin. He is my brother.
The fear constricts me; rising higher.
"You're the only one I ever wanted to set free." I whisper to him. I speak only the truth. It's the least I can give him.
"You're the one that needs setting free, little brother." He responds and I can hear rare desperation in his voice. "Your life is a lie."
My handle on the knife is firm, but the fear is swelling inside me now.
He sighs, resigned. "Do it then, Dexter." His words are dipped with disappointment and defeat. "Do it so you can go back to your fake, perfect life."
Though his words hurt, the Code of Harry grips me. I have to do this. I have to. For Harry. For Deb.
"I'm sorry." And I truly am.
I raise the knife, ready to strike. The blade is inches from his throat and about to slice.
The fear is growing stronger and stronger.
I look into his eyes; acceptance and bitterness mixed into one.
My resolve breaks.
I drop the knife and it clatters to the floor. I raise my head and observe surprise, relief, and something I can't place wave through his expression.
"I can't do it." My voice nearly breaks with emotion that I am not used to feeling.
He looks up at me with slight confusion. A silent 'Why?' lingers in the air.
"You're my brother." As if that is explanation enough.
It seems it is because he nods, the daze not quite leaving his eyes. It reminds me of the look he gave me when I accepted his brotherhood for the first time. The same look of consolation. It gives me consolation as well.
It feels as if a great weight has been removed from my shoulders. I breathe out a long held in sigh.
There only lay one unsolved question.
I've pretty watched most of the series, but the 1st season always stuck with me. Brian was the best antagonist this series ever had and I hated to see him die, so I brought him back to life via fan fiction. I always preferred the ending to the books over the series cause he didn't die in the end. The series is still good, but it wasn't quite the same after he died.
I may continue this but it depends on the outcome.
R&R, please! Thanks!