He was banned from the outside world, imprisoned here for breaking the rules. It was his damn group! He should make the rules! But of course, that orange haired wannabe punk and his girlfriend, the blue-haired slut, had to make the rules and punish him, the ACTUAL leader of this group, for simply breaking all of Sasori's puppets. It wasn't like he couldn't fix them anyway. It was unreasonable that he would become so angry about it if he didn't even use- Madara shuddered as his mind when straight into the gutter. Why must he be in a house full of perverts?

He looked at the walls for a few moments and was calmed. Then, growing bored, he looked at his nails. "WHY THE HELL DOES AN EVIL ORGANIZATION REQUIRE THEIR MEMBERS TO PAINT THEIR NAILS?" he yelled at no one in particular.

Scratch that, he was pissed again.

Madara listened for a moment and held back a giggle. A thought just struck him. This was completely ridiculous! He, the oldest member, was sitting in his room like a little kid who was grounded. He could just leave this place. He threw his head back and began to laugh.

He wanted the blood. He could defeat these imbeciles with one use of his Sharingan. Actually, now that he thought about it, he could just run out of the place. He may not look like it, but when he needed to, he could run like Death was after him. He would rather fight though. He would love to see blood run down his "sempaii's" pretty little neck. He wanted to slice up his apathetic nephew's face, and watch that face begin to scream and scream.

The screaming, ah how it made him laugh. Blood, the red, lucious, delicious blood that flowed from his clan. His traitor family, ready to leave the village. They were soft, too soft to sucede from Konoha. But their ideas were too strong and they were ready to leave behind all of his principles behind. Everything that he made for them was about to be thrown away.

His knuckles clenched as he remembered. His plot to get weed out the weak ended up in a disaster. The blood, the screaming, the accusations, it was hard for an S-rank criminal to watch. It was his KIN. Madara felt nothing for them and yet...everything he did was in vain. Always thrown back in his face. Even Itachi, who preformed the massacre, couldn't meet his eyes. He was a disgusting vile beast.

Madara lashed out, screaming, "I'LL KILL YOU ALL!" His fists pounded into the walls and in a flurry of rage he knocked over a plant.

His arms fell to his side. He looked numbly past the broken flower.


Schizophrenic plant man. Zetsu. Two halves. Zetsu. Cannibal. Zetsu. Sneaky successful spy. Zetsu. The only person with a bigger blood lust than him. Hidan couldn't even compete with him.


Zetsu appeared out of the ground in front of Konoha. He watched silently in the brush. His eyes were trained on the figure in the distance, standing in front of the site where the Uchihas were murdered. The figure had his back to him. The long hair was pulled up into a ponytail and he walked away. Zetsu sighed and muttered, "Stupid brat. Shouldn't have killed his clan if he would regret it. Well, the ninja life is a sad life." The black side didn't reply to that.

Madara watched the plant man with interest. So this is who Pein sent to watch Itachi? He smirked. This person will have to prove his skills first.

Madara silently went behind the man and said in a chipper voice, "HI! I'm Tobi!" His own voice hurt his ears. What an annoying character he had made up. And why did he use that name? Madara ignored his thoughts and watched the reaction of the plant man.

Zetsu whipped around and pinned Madara to the tree with kunai. "Who the fuck are you?" he growled. "Perhaps you're a spy spying on us. We should deal with you properly."

Madara looked at him and feigned curiousity. "At what will you do?" he asked in his most dumbass voice.

Zetsu smirked evilly. "I haven't had a meal in a while. And when I'm hungry I'll settle for anything, even an annoying brat like you."

Madara's eyes widened in disgust and fear. He tore out of the kunais and stared at Zetsu. Anger masked his fear as he said, "Do you know who I am? I am Madara Uchiha and I will not hesitate to kill you."

Zetsu yawned. "I have no idea who that is. And I could care less. A meal's a meal. We aren't in the habit of starving."

He glared at him. What ignorant fool did not know him? "You are a complete idiot!" he yelled. "I am the one who-"*

"Don't know, don't care. We're on a mission, remember? Oh yeah, well I guess it's your lucky day, Tobi. We don't need to be side tracked so-" Zetsu disintegrated into the ground.

The sudden departure left Madara completely baffled.

Madara smiled as he remembered their first meeting. They crossed paths again a few weeks later and Madara took as a sign from Kami**. He decided to follow Zetsu and wanted to understand the mysterious plant man.

"Zetsu-san~" Madara sang. "Can I come with you?"

Zetsu turned to face Madara, who he affectionately called Tobi. "No. You can't. You're not a member."

Madara pouted. "But I want to!" he protested. "It's not fair that I made the stupid group and I can't come to the stupid meetings."

Zetsu rolled his eyes. He had heard all before. "You're annoying. So shut up before I make mince meat out of you."

Madara stuck his tongue out at him. "I hate the stupid Akatsuki! Hidan is even in it! Why can't I be in it? It's not fair! Kami hates me. I know it."

Zetsu sighed. "Kami doesn't hate you. The leader said that there wasn't anymore spots available. You couldn't partner up with anyone."

"But YOU don't have a partner! I could partner up with you and-" he started again, growing more excited.

"You know I work well alone. Isn't being a subordinante good enough for you?" he growled.

"No!" Madara said. "I hate having to miss all the meetings and never getting to do anything and without you I couldn't even get into the stupid base and-"

He never got to finish his sentence. A pair of lips silenced him. Zetsu pulled the smaller male to him. His tongue entered and traced the inside of Madara's mouth. He touched the tips of his teeth and went deeper, tasting him. Madara's flinted in and out, nervously and eager.

Madara pulled away. "Now stop acting like a baby. If you want you can wait in my room until the meetings over and then I'll tell you all about it," Zetsu told him. Madara nodded, unable to speak. Zetsu left without another word between them.

The door creaked open and Madara jumped. He saw Zetsu, looked at the flower and paled. Shit, he was in trouble. Zetsu had no tolerance when it came to his plants.

"Hello Tobi. How has punishment- What the fuck happened to Victoria?" Zetsu nearly screamed, falling to floor to attempt to revive the poor flower.

Madara stifled a laugh at the name. Zetsu-san was so silly sometimes. His amusement ended when Zetsu pierced him with that cold look. "Zetsu-san, I'm sorry I killed your plant," he said without sincerety.

Zetsu clenched his teeth, but slowly relaxed. "It's okay. She would have died anyway."

Madara was confused. He should've threatened him with death. "What happened?" he asked, concerned now.

Zetsu shrugged. "I had some medicine."

"I'll talk to Pein about the therapist."

"Good. She's getting on my nerves."

Madara pulled up his mask, smiled and kissed his cheek. "I love you," he said.

Zetsu looked at him with concern. "You've gone completely crazy, haven't you?" he asked with concern.

Madara laughed. "Completely crazy now."

"I thought so."

Author's note.

Hi! SInce I've completely given up on my other one... I have been obsessed with Akatsuki. I love them haha! This is my tribute t0o Zettobi, even if it doesn't make sense to me. This is how I can picture it happening. Well I didn't use the annoying Tobi because all he does is annoy me. And Zetsu is my favorite character, so I had to give him Madara. So it's ZetsuxMadara. Weird. I think it's alright. Give me suggestions and stuff. BTW I may do another chapter for Zetsu if I get any feedback for this. Faves and Reviews only.

My next project will be tackling KisaIta, the weirdest pairing ever. Thank you. have a good read.

*I didn't include anymore because I have no clue what makes Madara famous. He is famous though.

**Kami=God. But Jashin is the true god (NOT PEIN!)

AN2: Hidan says hi!