Of Crumple-Horned Snorkacks & Bludgers

A HariPo oneshot

by mew-tsubaki

Note: The Harry Potter characters belong to J.K. Rowling, not me. This pairing was discovered by me, so please gimme a little mention if you write them! Thanks! It is one of many of Mew and Mor's Weird Pairings, most of which you may find in my forum topic in the HPFC, found here (Just take out the spaces!): http : / forum. fanfiction. net/ topic /44309 /25299326 /1/ Read, review, and enjoy! And check out and join the forum challenge!

- ^-^3

Lorcan was accustomed to seeing things in a different light from others. He had to be. He was the son of Luna Scamander née Lovegood, after all. He had been born into a whole family of weirdoes—said with all the love intended.

Freddie was accustomed to having fun pop up around every corner he hid behind. That was just in his blood. He was the son of one of the legendary (original) Weasley twins, George, after all, and he was named for his late uncle, Fred. Freddie's sister saw things as no less; the two of them were apt troublemakers.

So when only a few years into Lorcan, Freddie, and Roxanne's friendship, things were bound to change in the least bit. Y'know. Just a little.

- ^-^3

It was a star-filled summer night at the Weasley house of George and Angelina. The adults were inside while their twins, Freddie and Roxanne, enjoyed the nighttime outside with their best mate, Lorcan Scamander. Lorcan was ticking off the numerous constellations while the twins lit things up a bit with a few fireworks.

Roxanne shot one right above Lorcan's head and laughed. "Looks like that one liked you."

Lorcan grunted. "Funny," he said, making a face. He brush some ash out of his blonde hair. "As I was saying, that one up there is Scorpio, the scorpion."

"Let's just call it 'Scorpius,'" Freddie joked. "Though I'm sure Rose wouldn't like that very much," he added, referring to his and Roxie's cousin who happened to be dating said Malfoy son.

"Whatever… That's Gemini." Lorcan grinned. "The twin constellation—for you two and for Lysander and me, as well."

"But is there a single star formation meant just for rabble rousers?" Freddie asked.

Lorcan shrugged. "Not that I know of. What does it matter? We could just make one up ourselves?"

Roxanne's eyes lit up. "Make one up? That would be bril!" She was interrupted when Angelina called Roxanne into the kitchen to help her. "Eh, I'll be back, guys. Sounds like maybe dessert's almost done."

Freddie watched his sister disappear into the house. He turned to Lorc. "Shall we play a bit of Quidditch?"

"Just the two of us? A bit dull, mate."

"Then let's play revved up catch. Toss the Quaffle around while dodging a Bludger…or two."

Lorcan couldn't deny that that sounded dangerous—and fun. What? He was a fourteen-year-old. He liked these things. He nodded to his mate and ran to the shed to get their brooms while Freddie dug out the balls. "First one to fifty points wins."

"Deal," the thirteen-year-old agreed. Freddie hopped up on his Cleansweep Ultra and zoomed into place in front of a red, makeshift hoop while Lorcan took his position in front of a similar, blue one. Freddie waved his hand and the Bludgers went flying.

The Quaffle was easy to pass around, but the fact that Freddie had unleashed both Bludgers made things rather nasty. He was knocked in the side of the head and Lorcan was nailed in his left leg hard enough to leave a welt. Each had only reached the halfway point in scores when the Bludgers double-teamed them and creamed both young wizards off their brooms, causing them to land with soft thuds in the tall grass of the backyard.

Lorcan groaned. "Ugh… I think I landed on a Blibbering Humdinger…"

Freddie barked out a laughter. "What the hell is that, anyway?" He rolled over—gently, since doing that made his body hurt all over—and looked at the pale face beside him. "You sound crazy half the time… To think, you're a 'genius.' Pssh."

"Hey! Mum was in Ravenclaw, too, and she's pretty out there," the Scamander twin retorted. He smirked with his friend, though. "So…Bludgers?"

"Eh, I felt like it. I guess it's my dad in me. Or Uncle Fred. They were both Beaters."

Lorcan nodded. The two of them stared at the sky in silence for a while. "Do you miss him?"

"Uncle Fred? How can I?" There was a sad note in Freddie's tone, nonetheless. "Well…yeah. I wish I could've known him."

"Mmm," Lorcan mumbled, nodding. He knew this was a touchy subject; no one like being compared to their namesake. Just look at the twins' cousins—Al hated having to try to live up to his namesakes, and while Lily and James didn't show it as much, they hated what their parents (really, their father) had named them, too. Then their was Molly, too…and she was already very much like Grandmam Weasley.

But Freddie stuck out to Lorcan as…well, Freddie. Lorcan hadn't known the original Fred either, but he got the feeling that if he had, he surely would've been able to tell their personalities apart. Of course, that could mostly be due to the fact that Lorcan had known Freddie for several years now and they'd been best mates since the twins had started school a year after Lorcan and his twin, Lysander.

But yeah. Freddie was Freddie. Lorcan voiced these thoughts.

"Well, yeah, I'm fun," the brunette snorted haughtily, and they laughed again. "But no, seriously. I think only you and Roxie might think that way. There are too many tales told of Dad and Uncle Fred that I feel that no one ever looks at me and…well, sees what you and Roxie do." He frowned and glanced at Lorcan.

Lorcan locked eyes with him. "I do because that's how I was raised." He turned so he was facing Freddie and leaning back on his elbow. "Do you know why I love the stars and all those creatures for which I'm laughed at?"

"Because you're mental?"

"Oh, shut it… I'm serious. Do you know why?"

Freddie pursed his lips. "Er…"

The blonde smiled. "It's because I can appreciate the uniqueness of them. Those creatures aren't just my mother's fairy tales. They're…They're family traditions, in a way. They helped to shape what Sander and I are today."

"Sorry, but I'm failing to see the point."

"My point is that you're kinda like a Nargle or a Crumple-Horned Snorkack."

Freddie grimaced. "Thanks, mate."

"Freddie… I'm not calling you one of those things. I'm saying that they stand out to me. They have a special meaning to me." He stared at the sky once more. "It's why you'll never lose me as a friend."

"So you love those Snorkacks?"

Lorcan chuckled. "Yep."

"Meaning you love me?"


Freddie was quiet a while, and Lorcan was forced to tear his eyes away from the sky again. "What?"

The brunette leaned his head on the blonde's stomach (probably the only part that didn't hurt from the ruddy Bludgers). Freddie breathed deeply in and out, but he wouldn't say more.

- ^-^3

Lorcan made it through dessert without letting his curiosity get to him. For Freddie to leave him hanging like that… He had to wonder what was running through the Weasley's mind. He also honestly thought he wouldn't get an answer any time soon.

But then Freddie dragged him back out to the backyard under the pretext of having a quick nightcap before going home.

"You sure you want to go home?" Roxanne asked with a yawn. "You could always sleep over."

Lorcan rolled his eyes. "You guys can't have me all the time. I'm not some pet."

"Yes, you are," the twins impishly chorused. Roxanne vanished to get ready for bed, leaving Freddie to cajole him into staying the night.

"Why not?" the brunette asked, his muddy brown-blue eyes looking navy in the moonlight.

Lorcan gave him a look. "Because I do have a family outside of this house, Freddie." He actually stood up to go when Freddie tossed a deactivated Bludger at him. "What's this for?"

"You're a bloody Bludger, you know that?"

"Excuse me?"

"Completely unexpected." Freddie rose to his feet and joined Lorcan on the patio. "Come on, let's head up."

The Scamander followed his friend up the stairs, riled. "No wait a minute, don't go changing the subject." They reached Freddie's room and Lorcan stood near the doorway as Freddie changed. Suddenly, for the first time, Lorc felt awkward standing there, and he wasn't quite sure if he liked that fluttery feeling in his stomach.

Freddie paused and stared at Lorcan. "Do you realize what you oh-so casually said?"

Lorcan blushed, not believing his words were being nitpicked. "What? That I said I love you? Of course I do. I love both you and Roxie."

Something in the brunette deflated…for a moment. Then Freddie rose to life again. "That… You shouldn't say something so lightly."

The Ravenclaw froze. "Oh. You mean—"

"I dunno what I mean," Freddie muttered, disgruntled. "I—I told you I'm all fun. And I've—"

"What? You've what?"

"I've been wondering certain things. I'm young. I want to know what…all my options are."


"Witches or wizards."

Lorcan frowned, fighting down a blush as the fluttering in his stomach picked up vigor. Was he really hearing this from his best mate? Although… He cherished Freddie… So better it him that Freddie…"experimented" with than some jerk who'd leave Freddie broken…right?

Freddie narrowed his eyes and walked over, taking the Blugder out of Lorcan's hand. "So?"


It was awkward and rather newborn-ish, Freddie trying to kiss him. It wasn't like the other was a witch. And yet…it was easy. A little voice—Wrackspurt, Lorcan thought—told the Scamander that it was easy because they were two wizards. The awkwardness only came from very little love experience.

Freddie was the first one to pull away. His cheeks were flushed a bit, making his tanned skin look like a healthy berry color. "Well."


Freddie raised his eyebrows. "Um, successful."

"In what way?" Lorcan asked, though he knew they were both playing stupid. That had been…


Freddie grinned. "Well, uh, I won't force you into anything meaningful if you don't want to…"

Lorcan fixed him with a look. "Freddie," he said past the lump in his throat, "you may be on to something here."

"Taking the 'friends-maybe-something-more' route, are we?"

The blonde kissed him this time. "You tell me."

"Hmm. It seems you're the fun one, mate."

Both boys froze as Roxanne laughed. "FUCK YEAH, BOYS' LOVE IS HAWT!"

- ^-^3

XDDDDDDD Okay, more than anything, this is for Morghen, who adores boys' love so much that it has led to some of the best lines, ideas, and conversations we've ever had. That last line of Roxie's was SOOO you, Mor! ;D

But…yeah. This story quite literally took on a mind of its own as I was listening to Depeche Mode, of all things. This has to be one of the stranger stories I've written so far, but I'm pleasantly pleased with (and surprised by) this. Freddie/Lorc is NUMMY!

So—more Fredcan?

-mew-tsubaki :3