Not Anymore

Hephaestion had never felt the need to knock or announce his presence in any way before entering the King's quarters on personal business. There was nothing between Alexander and himself that required such decorum.

Their relationship was such that it was not necessary. Alexander had never done anything of the sort before, and neither had Hephaestion. They shared everything, privacy was irrelevant and needless. The General had always thought that there was nothing to hide from each other, that they knew each other so completely.

But on entering now, just seeing the look on his Xander's face, he knew that he should have made his impending presence known. Shock, shame, regret, and mortification covered the features that Hephaestion knew so very well, as Alexander's head popped up from beneath the covers of his bed and whipped around to face him.

Confusion was his first reaction to the expressions on his beloved's face and the wide fearful eyes that greeted him. But he felt his stomach drop suddenly as a second face appeared from the depths of the bed.

Hephaestion took a very slow, deep breath, and closed his eyes from the sight before him.

Of course he knew, he had known for a while now of the King's 'interest' in the young Persian boy. He thought he had come to terms, that it did not affect him in anyway. He turned a blind eye, convincing himself that it didn't matter. Alexander's recreational endeavors made no difference to him. That's lie that he had sold to himself.

But now he was confronted so blatantly with it, and he felt himself falling apart from the inside out.

No matter what delusion he had made himself believe up until that moment, he could no longer deny it, this was killing him.

When his eyes opened again, the scene was just the same. It had not melted away and disappeared like he had silently prayed for.

He gulped down the emotions he was surpressing.

Anger, sorrow, jealousy, hatred, revulsion, betrayal.

The seconds and the silence stretched on.

It felt as if Hephaestion's chest was caving in on the spot where his heart once resided.

Standing there he had felt so weak, so wounded. His heart had melted away from the pain consuming him.

But suddenly, as he turned his back on the scene that he was sure would make him sick, a wave of fury and disgust froze his heart. It made him cold and so enraged.

He stalked away, lips tight, chest heaving.

He heard Alexander quietly say his name and then heard his footsteps hurrying across the floor behind him.

He did not stop or turn around until they were out in the hall and he felt that Alexander was right behind him. Then he swiftly whipped around to face the man that he loved so deeply and hated so violently.

"Do not chase me down to lie to me." He sneered, not able to hide a tremor in his voice.

The King's face was frozen with disgrace and sorrow. Hephaestion noted the glassy look of drunkenness in his eyes.

Hephaestion's body was in such a contrast between hurt and fury.

He turned once again to leave, but then turned back around as a sudden feeling of strength surged up deep inside of him

"Who do you think you are?" he almost yelled, thrusting an accusing finger in Alexander's face, "Who do you think you are that you can do this to me? Treat me in this way?"

His body shook as the King slowly opened his mouth to answer.

"I am just me, the same Alexander that you have always known, that you have always loved." Alexander's voice was gentle and pleading.

Hephaestion could not believe what he was hearing.

Slowly, he looked the man before him up and down, lips curling in disgust as he smelled the thick scent of alcohol on him.

"No you're not." He spat out. "That man disappeared along time ago."

This time when he moved to walk away he fully planned on making a complete exit. But he was caught off guard as he felt a strong hand grip his arm and turn him around. Then he found himself pinned up against the wall, Alexander's livid face inches from his own.

"I will tell you exactly who I am." He snarled. "I am Alexander of Macedon, King and ruler of the Macedonian Empire. I am the most powerful man in the world, and I will do what I please"

And with that he pressed his body to Hephaestion's and crashed their lips together in an angry, violent kiss.

Hephaestion could taste the wine on Alexander's breath.

He could not have counted the number of times that he had kissed Alexander, but he knew that this could not even be called a kiss. It was rough, violating, and not an ounce of love could be felt behind it.

The General raised his hands and pushed against Alexander's chest with all his strength. The King stumbled back and fell to the ground.

The hating part of him rejoiced in standing over the King, seeing him brought so literally low.

He let the fire of his anger sear into Alexander's eyes as he said quietly, "You control many things Alexander of Macedon, but I am not one of them. Not anymore."


This was probably crap, because I wrote it so fast. But I just had a surge of creative juice and had to get this out. It's alittle more angsty that I usually go, but I hope you enjoyed it anyways.

This was partly inspired by the song "Jar of Hearts" by Christina Perri. It's seriously an amazing song, so if you have never heard it I firmly suggest that you youtube it and bask in the awesomeness.

Reviews are love my friends, so show me the love! :)