AN/Warnings: This takes place about nine months-one year after Swan Song, and goes AU for Season six, but it will have a few ideas taken from it (Heaven's weapons being stolen, Balthazar, Raphael). There is slash in this story of the Dean/Castiel and Sam/Gabriel varieties. There are also several OCs-that-aren't-technically-OCs. They're all taken from various mythologies, mostly Greek and Norse. Also, I completely hate first chapters. I'm convinced that Chuck is utterly wrong about them: They take at least as much work as endings, because they set up your story and give your audience their first impression. Still hate them, though.

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural. I do own a pair of really comfy lounge pants.

Also, let's play a game of "Spot the shameless reference to Good Omens slash!" First person to find it gets... I dunno. Something.

Sam stumbled as he hit the sidewalk. The street light above him flickered out. Ok, what the hell? This… wasn't Hell. He was in some Suburban neighborhood. He could see a family eating dinner through the window of a house across the street. Wait… was that… Oh, he was going to kill Dean. He'd told him not to make any deals. And now here Sam was, standing outside of his house? There was no way that was a coincidence. Why did Dean never listen to him?

"Oh, he listened, Kiddo. Damn near killed him inside, but he listened. Mostly. Point is, this had nothing to do with him." Sam jumped at the sound of the voice, then let out a dejected sigh when he recognized it.

"Gabriel. Of course you're not really dead. So if Dean didn't make a deal, why am I here?" He turned towards the short archangel, who smirked at him as usual.

"I brought you here. Figured you probably didn't want to spend eternity listening to my stupid brothers bicker, and would much rather spend it arguing with yours."

"Why do you care?" Sam couldn't believe that Gabriel actually wanted to help them after everything he'd done.

"Believe it or not, I don't have it out for you. I like you both." Sam looked at him skeptically. "You idiots just need to be taught a lot of lessons. I happen to be the one who chooses to teach them to you, and I do it my way. Now leave me alone and go bother your brother. Go on, shoo." He motioned towards the house.

"I can't," Sam said quietly. "He has a family now. A normal life. I can't take that from him." Gabriel made a few extremely odd babbling noises.

"Muttonhead! Can't you see he's miserable?" Sam shot him a bitch face (Bitch face Number 12, "Did you just call me muttonhead?"). He didn't back down. Gabriel huffed. "Fine. I'll take you somewhere else." He pressed a finger to Sam's forehead- How did he even reach, he's like ten inches shorter than me?- and suddenly they were in Bobby's junkyard. Sam stumbled again. He hated traveling Angel Air.

He looked towards Bobby's house and his eyes bugged out. Bobby wasn't alone. He was eating dinner with Crowley. After all the crap Sam had been given about Ruby…

"Did the world go crazy while I was downstairs?"

"World was already crazy, Sammy."

"Don't call me Sammy." The former (or maybe not-so-former) trickster rolled his eyes, and Sam had a feeling that request would be ignored. "So, Crowley is living with Bobby now?" He asked.

"Yeah, pretty much. And I know what you're going to say already, so don't bother," He said, cutting off Sam's interruption with a rude gesture. "Crowley's a very different case. He's actually not half bad, as far as demons go. Been topside for a real long time. You tend to go native a bit if you stay here long enough." Sam couldn't tell if that comment had been about Crowley or Gabriel, or possibly both. "So, you ready to go back to your brother?" Sam shook his head. "Well, who else is there to see? Castiel's back in Heaven, and pretty much everyone else you know is dead!"

"Did you bring Adam back?" Sam suddenly asked. He'd completely forgotten about his little brother, what with returning from Hell and everything. And with the not knowing him for the first 26 years of Sam's life. Gabriel sighed.

"Yes. I'm guessing you want to go see him, too?" Sam nodded. "Alright. But you have to promise to go bother Dean after this! I'm getting sick of dealing with you already, I don't know how he managed 27 years of this."

"Fine," Sam said reluctantly, pouting childishly at Gabriel.

"Good. Now let's go." Sam braced himself for the flight this time. He still stumbled when there was suddenly a sidewalk beneath him. Stupid big feet…

They were outside of what appeared to be a frat house. Through the window they could see several college age boys were crowded around one end of a table, staring at a one boy at the other end- Adam. It looked like they were interrogating him, most likely as to where the hell he was the past couple years. As Sam watched, the other boys started moving closer to Adam, until he was completely integrated into the cluster. Sam smiled; for the first time since he'd met him, his little brother looked happy.

"Do you miss that?" Gabriel was looking at him with wide-eyed curiosity.

"Miss what?"

"College. Having friends who didn't die all the time. Being normal." Sam let out a small huff of breath.

"I was never normal. I can't run away from this. Trust me, I've tried," Sam said. Gabriel smirked at him.

"But Dean can?" Sam glared at him.

"You tricked me."

"Well, yeah. That's kind of what I do." The smirk fell off his face and he sighed. "Look, kiddo," He said, his voice more serious than usual. "Your brother needs you. And you need him. He's miserable. He can't run from this life any more than you can. Better to get pulled back in now by you than later because something hurt the girl or the kid."

"Why are you making such a big deal out of this?" Sam rushed at the archangel, who vanished and appeared behind Sam in the space of a second.

"Cause otherwise you would just angst about your brother for ages, and then when he found out you were back he'd be pissed that you didn't tell him, and then he'd angst, and then you'd angst because he was angsting, and then you'd both do it some more, and it's just no fun for anyone when you guys do that."

"I do not angst!" Sam said, flushing a bit.

"Yes you do. If you didn't you wouldn't be a Winchester. There are two things you guys always do: Angst, and come back from the dead."

"Just take me back to Dean." Two fingers were pressed to his forehead and then he was stumbling again. "You know, you're really bad at that. You keep making me fall over."

"Not my fault. You're bad at landing." Sam ignored him and looked around at his surroundings; he was standing in what looked like a dark living room.

"Dude, did you just zap me into the middle of Lisa's house?"

"Yup. Have fun." Before Sam had a chance to shoot a bitch face at him, he snapped his fingers and disappeared.

He could hear soft footsteps coming down the stairs and realized how this must look from Dean and Lisa's perspective. They probably thought someone had broken into their house. Shit.

"Alright, I have a gun. Just a warning. Hands up." Dean said from the bottom of the stairs. Sam slowly raised his hands and turned to face his brother. A jumble of emotions flashed across Dean's face before he finally settled on poorly veiled sadness. "Sammy?"

"Surprise?" Dean's expression changed to anger.

"I don't know what the hell you are, but I am going to give you three seconds to get out of my house and stop impersonating my brother before I shoot your face off. I'm starting at two. Two..."

"Dean! Dean, it's really me, I swear!"

"Three." Dean pointed the gun at Sam, who quickly ducked behind the couch, just barely avoiding the bullet.

"I'm serious! It's really me! Ask me anything, something only I would know!" He peeked over the top of the couch and got a face full of water for his efforts. "Holy water?"

"Alright, so you're not a demon." Dean pulled a silver knife out of his pocket. "Give me your arm." Sam raised an eyebrow at him. "Now!" Sighing, Sam held out his arm to his brother. Dean cut a small nick in the arm and... Nothing.

"Believe it's me now?" Sam was pulled up into a tight hug.

"How?" Dean pulled back from the hug and looked at him. His eyes were brimming with tears.

"Gabriel pulled me out, I don't know why, and-"

"Gabriel's not really dead?" As if the angel's name had flipped a switch in Dean, the joy at his brother's return left his face. "Shocker. Are you hungry?" He started walking towards the kitchen, and Sam followed despite not being all that hungry.

"I know," Sam said as he sat across the table from his brother. "He's faked his own death how many times?"

"Dean? What's going on down here?" Lisa was standing sleepily in the kitchen doorway. Her eyes grew wide at the sight of Sam. "What the- I thought you said he was dead!" The brothers both smiled at her, trying to calm her down.

"I was. Now I'm… Not," Sam attempted lamely.

"I noticed," Lisa deadpanned.

"Mom? Why are you yelling?"

"It's nothing, Ben. Go back to bed," Dean said sternly. Ben studied him for a minute, then seemed to decide he wasn't kidding.

"Fine. But if my mom gets eaten by a monster, I'm blaming you."

"You do that. Bed, Buddy. Now." Ben glanced at Sam curiously, but at the look he got from Dean and his mother, he reluctantly went upstairs. Sam could hear him grumbling the whole way up. Dean turned back to him.

"Start talking, Sammy."

Gabriel stood across the street from the house, in the same spot he'd stood with Sam earlier. He watched the brothers interacting with each other and Lisa. He heard the telltale sound of wings behind him.

"Hey, bro."

"Hello, Gabriel. I thought Lucifer had killed you."

"He did. I had some… insurance. Heard he killed you, too." Castiel stepped forward so that he was standing even with Gabriel.

"Yes. After I threw a Molotov Cocktail at Michael."

"You Molotoved. Michael? I didn't hear that part. That's pretty badass, baby brother," Gabriel said, impressed. He smirked at Castiel. "So how'd you know I was here? You stalking Dean again?"

"No. I rarely watch him," Castiel said as he gazed intently into the window of the house.

"But you do watch him." Gabriel whistled. "You've got it bad, Cassie." Castiel tilted his head and fixed Gabriel with a quizzical look. Gabriel rolled his eyes at him. "You're in love with Dean, and you've got it bad. I don't think you were even this head over heels for Balthazar."

"Dean and I do share a profound bond."

"I'm not even going to comment on how horribly dirty that sounds." Gabriel's smirked faded and his voice softened. "Does he love you back?"

"I do not believe so, no."

"I'm sorry, Cassie."

"Please do not call me Cassie. That is not my name." The smirk returned.

"You don't seem to mind when Dean calls you Cas. You know, only you could have a conversation with your older brother about your big gay love for Dean Winchester and have the part you take away from it be that I called you Cassie." Castiel gave him the quizzical head tilt again, with the confused puppy expression on his face.

"I don't see how what I feel for Dean is any different than what you feel for Sam." Gabriel started choking on the candy bar he'd just popped up.

"What? What the hell are you talking about?" He exclaimed, his eyes wide.

"You have feelings for Sam. Is that not why you pulled him out of Hell?"

"No." Castiel gave him a knowing look. "No! I pulled him out cause I'm tired of those boys constantly angsting, and you certainly weren't doing anything to fix the situation." His cheeks were flushed bright red. Angels can't blush, but Gabriel's face didn't seem to be listening to that rule at the moment. Thinking quickly, he changed the subject. "Why weren't you trying to help, anyway? I thought they were your friends."

"I was going to once I was done trying to get Heaven back in order. It is very chaotic up there."

"How so? What was so important you put it before Darling Dean-o?" Gabriel asked sarcastically. Castiel gave a fairly good approximation of one of Sam's bitch faces- Number 15, "You are annoying and childish, and your overuse of sarcasm makes me want to punch you." Sam usually used it when he was trying to talk to Dean about emotions and other "chick flick things."

"It is total anarchy. More angels are falling each day, and we have already lost hundreds. There is a rebellion, led by Raphael, that wishes to restart the apocalypse. Their first plan is to kill Sam and Dean as they feel they are far too much trouble. They then plan to break Michael and Lucifer out of the cage. I have been trying to stop them and keep them off of Dean's trail. Several of Heaven's weapons have been stolen, including the Staff of Moses, the Fruit from the Tree of Knowledge, and your Horn of Truth. And a Principality has mated with a demon."

"So are you going to talk to them?"

"No. They do not need me. I feel that Dean would prefer if I were to leave him to his new life with Lisa." Something- maybe pity- flashed across Gabriel's face. It was quickly erased with the trademark smirk.

"Trouble in paradise, huh? You know what, whatever. It's not my business. You just keep stalking him, Cassie. Your call." He snapped his fingers and in a flutter of wings he was gone.

So- loved it? Hated it? It made you want to drown puppies? Let me know!