Hi, my name is Larissandra Alleb Swan and I luuuuv Abercrombie and Fitch. Totally random way to start a story, but how could I not? But my life totally sucks horse shit because my mom married some creepy black dude and my boyfriend Pierre just broke up with me so he could be with the Nigger slut named Quaneisha! And then he got me preggers but luckily I got and abortion. If I had given birth to the awful little baby I would have named it Carnashion

I live in Phoenix, Arizona with my totally awesome mom and her awful Nigger hubbie. Did I mention I have a twin sister? She's my freaky albino sister named Bella! She's all over there being boring and a stick in the mud and somehow she's ALWAYS making friends for no fucking reason! Why does she get all the hot, non-Nigger, guys and every black man in this state is always trying to grope me! It's so unfair!

I mean, not everybody can be hot and Sexican (Mexican+Sexy=Sexican!) but my dumb sister got to move to upstate Washington in some small town in the sticks called Forks! I mean, where is that even next to, Knives! So while she gets to be with all the hot white guys who are toootally into Aeropostle tees just like me, I'm stuck here with my ugly Nigger dad and my idiot mom who can't find better guys who won't get her pregnant!

Soooo, anyways I woke up in my room. My room is my favorite part of my house. It's got pink walls with brown polka dots on it and posters of all the white male models from Abercrombie & Fitch. I have a pink canopy bed with brown and pink silk pillows and sheets imported from Paris and the most adorable throw in lime green! In the corner I have my totally awesome closet with all the non-slutty mini-skirts that you get at the sex stores (totally ewww, right?).

So I woke up to find this nasty PURPLE condom on my bed next to my luscious golden blonde hair that was professionally highlighted (I got it for free! All I had to do was give a BJ to the stylist!) and I was all disgusted and stuff and I found my nigger stepdad passed out in my bathroom with pictures of Hannah Montana all over the place. I mean, EW MUCH!

"ZABON WHY THE FUCKING HELL ARE YOU STONED IN MY BATHROOM AGAIN! PRIVACY MUCH!" I shrieked sexily at him. Didn't he know I needed to get in there to straighten my perfect hair (Not that it needs to be anyways!)

My mom Renee burst into my bedroom shouting at "Damn it bitch. What the fuck, can't you see my hubbie got hammered last night. LEAVE HIM ALONE YOU SLUT!"

"You're so mean!" I retorted angrily back to her "Why the hell can't you see that I need my effin' beauty sleep and I can't get it if that douchebag you call a husband decides to use MY room as his hangoverlounge!" I fucking hate my new nigger stepdadand and I hate what he does to my mom. I mean, usually she totally cool and stuff but now she's this complete and total whore who spends her evenings screwing her new hubbie.

My mom's face fell. She must have briefly what a bitch she was being because she said "You're right, Larissandra, I'm sorry I snapped at you. Here, I'll get him out of your room and let you sleep." She dragged ZaBon by the feet out of my room and I smiled. Today was going to be the perfect Saturday.

I got out of bed and put on my Aeropostle shirt that's yellow with pink polka dots and has its label stamped across the front in white. I got my matching jean skirt that reaches the halfway point of my thighs and put on my white canvas strap heels that makes my legs look hawt. After making sure my hair was straight as usual and adding a flower barrette to it, I grabbed my Abercrombie and Fitch purse and dabbed some cherry lip gloss on my rose colored lips. I looked over to make sure I was looking cute and headed out the door to do my favorite thing: shopping with my BFFs, Whitney and Brittany. They're twins with chesnut hair highlighted with streaks of blond and glittery green eyes with specks of blue in them.

So I got in my lime-green convertible that mom got me for my sixteenth birthday and drove out to the mall in Phoenix so I could do some buying and maybe shoplifting! Yayz!