Theis idea has been tormenting me for a while so I finally decided to write it. Set in alternate reality where Itachi is alive and not hated, Sasuke isn't crazy as fuck and Naruto is- well, Naruto ^^ It'll probably only be about 2-3 chaps, so please enjoy and tell me what you think by reviewing. Thanks
NOTE: just for those might not know ^^ uke=the term generally used for the partner in male/male relationship that is more femme, submissive, the bottom or receiver. Neko, which means cat, is also used to mean uke.
Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Masashi-sensei.
Sasuke woke up that morning to find his face in his living room carpet and his pet cat idly nibbling on his ear. He could hear his alarm screaming in the distance of his bedroom, the pulsating sound ringing as if the thing was right next to his head, he felt like his brain was doing summersaults all over his spike lined skull. At first panicked kicked in as he gradually realized that he hadn't the foggiest idea how he ended up on the floor, making out with a rug and feeling like he'd gotten into a fight with Chouji- and lost (terribly). But then the sound of some familiar snoring (more like short-circuiting thunder) brought it all back to him as hard as the migraine that pounded even worst when he opened his eyes to the morning light.
"Uh- Naruto." He groaned without looking up to confirm it. Sasuke raised a heavy hand to clumsily push his cat away and as he did he remembered. That's right, he thought as his the hand fell weak on the floor again and he clawed at the carpet as his migraine climaxed from the movement, naruto's birthday was yesterday.
Drowsy, loud memories of last night started slipping back: Naruto and Kiba somehow convincing him to spend "just one hour" drinking with them at a bar after they had had dinner. Then the hours slid by in a heavy wash of sake and beer, Sasuke had never drunk so much before. Kiba left them at around 2:30am, and then he and Naruto went back to Sasuke's house to chill and drink the Dom Pérignon Neji had given Naruto as a b-day present. After that everything was just an incoherent, drunken cloud.
After making up his mind that the ground was no longer comfortable, Sasuke stretched his hand out and used his fortunately steady coffee table to help himself up, then he fell onto his couch, leaning his head back and closing his eyes as he waited for the flared pounding to subside again.
In the mean time, his cat had jumped onto the table and was now pleadingly meowing at him. It didn't take Sasuke long for him realize that his drunken self had most likely forgotten to feed her last night.
"Hold on a sec." he mumbled at her. The operation of feeding his cat felt like it had as much complications as an S-class mission right now, and he found himself going over each action that was needed as if it was a tedious mission: find my way to the kitchen, take can from upper-left cupboard, pop-open, drop can on floor, then bed(best part of plan)—but then something clicked-Wait a minute- mission?— if yesterday was Wednesday then I have one of those- glances at clock on wall- Right now!
"Shit." Sasuke hissed as he stood using all of his will, and maybe a little chakra, to ignore all of the weird and painful sensations that came with such sudden movement.
He'd just remembered why he had tried to get out of this bar hopping escapade with Naruto and the Inuzuka, why last night, while he was still consciously sober, he was always checking his watch, why he'd thought twice about every 'one more' glass that Naruto had handed to him with a wink and a grin.
"Naruto wake up!" he called out to the mentioned blonde who was at the moment a sprawled dead body, though still a noisy one, on his recliner. Sasuke cocked an amused brow at the black sharpie that was, for reasons the Uchiha didn't want to fathom, stuck up the idiot's nose. Naruto didn't even budge so Sasuke decided to leave him for now, he stumbled at first to his kitchen to feed the blue Abyssinian that skipped after him flicking her long tail behind her in contentment. After he'd fed her he headed for his room, shouting, "Oi, dobe!" before he disappeared inside. There was no time for a bath, and after taking a few quick sniffs at himself he figured that he didn't need it (it's not like he was Naruto, Sasuke actually smelt pretty okay even when he was a little dirty) so he quickly put on his ANBU suit. But then Sasuke found a problem, he couldn't find his forehead protector. He searched all over his bedroom but it wasn't there. Where was it? He hadn't worn it last night…..had he?
Grabbing up his Katana in its sheath and his pouch of kunis and scrolls he went back into the living, as he entered he realized with a scowl exactly how much 'fun' he and the idiot had had last night. There were empty cans everywhere, and from the looks of the wrappers scattered on the carpet Naruto had cleaned out his snack cupboard, everything else was just out of place.
"Naruto! Naruto get out of my house!" he called as he started searching through the mess for his forehead protector. Naruto grunted softly and then shifted to a more comfortable position in the recliner. "Naruto!"
"Mmm, S'uke-neko, such a grumpy kitty-" Naruto muttered in his sleep and Sasuke's eyebrow twitched as he glared at him. Picking up the first thing he could find, which just happened to be the empty bottle of champagne left from last night, he threw it at the blonde from across the room.
"OW!" Naruto exclaimed when the heavy glass landed with satisfying accuracy on his forehead. And in his surprise at being jerked awake by pain, and forgetting where and when he was, Naruto scrambled to get out of the recliner and to his feet so that he could provide a counter attack for the enemy ninja that had obviously ganged up on him. Sasuke watched with a smirk as his best friend failed pathetically at even standing, tripped over his legs and fell face first onto the carpet. "Argh." Naruto moaned, "What happened?"
As Naruto was no longer occupying his sofa Sasuke took the opportunity to search under the cushion for his forehead protector but it wasn't there either. Sasuke began to consider leaving without it but then his dark eyes fell onto Naruto who was now pulling the sharpie out of his nose, he scrutinized the marker for a moment then after deciding that he truly had no memory of how it got there, tossed it to the side and began wiping the sleep out of his eyes.
"Dobe, did you do anything to my forehead protector last night?" he asked him and Naruto lifted his head up.
"No. Why would I-" the blonde suddenly froze mid sentence and Sasuke watched as lucid blue eyes stared, at first steadily lost, at him. Then Naruto's brows creased in confusion, as if Sasuke's frustrated and hurried exterior wasn't speaking for itself, but then realization seemed to hit the blonde leaving his eyes widened in shock and his mouth slightly ajar from the soft gasp he had just released.
"…..What?" Sasuke asked him cautiously and the sound of his voice seemed to make Naruto snapped out of it, he now looked up at the Uchiha's face as if Sasuke had just teleported before him out of the blue. Sasuke's eyes narrowed as he got ready to point out to the idiot how stupid he looked and that he didn't have time for him and his weird 'moments' when Naruto bounced up to his feet so quickly he and Sasuke's heads almost collided.
"Er- okay Sasuke,la-last night was great. Um- thanks for spending it with me," Naruto was stuttering as he backed away from Sasuke swiftly, a huge and obviously forced smile on his face, he kept stepping back until he bumped into the front door, then his hands were shoved behind him as he blindly searched for the door knob. "I guess I'll be going now, kay bye!" and finally opening it Naruto slipped out the door and was gone leaving Sasuke standing with a questioning look on his sharp features.
What was that? Sasuke pondered, he thought that Naruto's behavior just now was very suspicious, maybe even worrisome, but he didn't have the time to investigate like he normally would. Sasuke decided that he would figure this one out later when he got back from his mission.
Finally deciding that he would have to go on mentioned mission without his forehead protector, Sasuke left his house and walked outside into the new morning light, the fresh air making the heaviness in his head lift a little. His hangover wasn't that bad, it seemed to be already wearing off.
He walked down the path that lead to his front gate and saw his brother ahead. Itachi, who also lived still lived on the Uchiha compound (unfortunately they were the only two), seemed to be now returning from a mission himself, he was closing his front gate and about to head inside. Sasuke grunted a good morning and the older Uchiha looked up to reply. As he passed Sasuke saw his brother double take then fail to speak, Itachi then just blinked at Sasuke's face without any readable emotion on his.
Sasuke didn't have time to stop so he instead just lifted a questioning brow at his brother. Itachi seemed to come to some sort of silent acceptance of whatever his problem was and just smiled softly back at his otuoto and waved. "Nothing, return safely." He said before he turned and went inside.
Sasuke wondered for a moment if some gifted ninja had been lucky enough to get a blow onto Itachi's head, but stopped contemplating the possibility when he took a quick glance at his watch and realized how late he was. In one fast motion Sasuke crouched then leaped to the rooftops, then made his way to the Hokage's tower.
When he got there he found the Hokage with her head turned down and supported by her two hands on her desk. An open bottle of sake sat before her.
"Arrrrggghh." She groaned not noticing the new presence in her office. Sasuke smirked, the Hokage had been at the bar with them last night celebrating her favorite ninja's birthday like everyone else, though mostly enjoying the free drinks, and Sasuke was slightly surprised that she woke up this morning much less found her way to work.
"You're remedying your hangover with even more alcohol?" he asked her as he came to stand before her desk with his hands in his pockets. Tsunade jerked her head up then just as suddenly flinched, she grunted and her head fell back down again.
"Uchiha," she said, though it sounded more like a growl under her pained voice. "What do you want?"
"Sasuke-kun." Shizune entered the office holding a tray with a steaming pot and a single cup on it, the slighter woman rest the tray down on Tsunade's desk, and the Hokage peeked an eye at the tray.
"I thought I told u I don't need that, just get me another bottle of sake!" Tsunade told her and Shizune shook her head, then she turned to Sasuke.
"You're here for you mission." She said but then her eyes narrowed and she stepped forward as if to get a closer look at Sasuke's face. Sasuke couldn't swear on it, but he was pretty sure that Shizune never wore glasses, so why was she looking at him like that….Why was everyone looking at him like that?
"Sasuke-kun," the other woman said, "What's that on your forehead?" she asked and Sasuke felt for the first time some type of understanding. He never took that bath this morning, it was probably just some smudge of something from last night. He raised his hang to wipe it off but when he looked down at his fingers after there was nothing on it. Shizune frowned as she came even closer, then she chuckled.
When she noticed the slightly irritated glare the Uchiha gave her Shizune stepped back and tried to contain herself.
"What's on my forehead?" he asked her.
"Er-well- um." Shizune stuttered as she searched for what to say. Sasuke couldn't see what was so difficult here, all she had to do was say it. He swore that Naruto and his brother were going to pay for allowing Sasuke to walk out of his house without telling him what they had obviously seen. "T-Tsunade-sama."
"Urgh- what is it Shizune?" the Hokage looked up now for the first time at her assistant and the dark haired woman pointed at Sasuke. Tsunade's blood-shot and dark circled eyes fell slowly upon Sasuke who was beginning to feel pretty annoyed about being left in the dark. He watched as the Hokage squinted, then cocked her head to the side and finally lifted a very amuse brow as a little smirk played on her lips, "Hn," she shook her head, "Naruto."
Sasuke felt this anger flare, he sighed so that his voice could sound patient when he spoke, "Would someone please-" he began but Tsunade interrupted.
"Shizune, show him." She said and the other woman nodded, then she went to the desk and pulled a mirror out of one of the draws. Shizune went to Sasuke and gave it to him, a sympathetic smile on her mouth as she stepped back (for her own protection).
Sasuke looked at himself, his eyes finding nothing out of the norm as they went up, from his mouth, then to his nose, eyes, but finally- there on his forehead, was-was that something written there? In bold black marker, there were words on his forehead. Sasuke glared at the first word he recognized, a name to be exact: Naruto. He immediately felt his stomach burn, his fingers curled tighter around the handle of the mirror and he blinked to prevent himself from turning on his Sharingan. That idiot! He growled in his head.
"Read it." Tsunade told him, her chin resting on her hands as she watched his apparently very entertaining reaction.
Sasuke hadn't done that yet because just the sight of the dobe's name there had made him mad enough to kill, but then he read: "This uke belongs to Naruto." Sasuke frowned as he read it again. Uke? What was that? Some type of stupid nick-name for him that Naruto (now known as a dead man) made up? Sasuke couldn't tell. But that didn't matter, where ever that "uke" word came from it obviously was referring to Sasuke. He also guessed that Naruto was implying that he owned Sasuke and- well, Sasuke didn't know what the blonde meant by that either but whatever it was this was definitely an insult or trick or challenge of some kind. And because it was from Naruto, Sasuke felt even more inclined to fight back. In other words, he was going to hunt that loud-mouthed dumbass down like the spine-less fowl he was and enjoy sweet revenge.
Tsunade and Shizune could feel the danger radiating off of the Uchiha as his body, that was just a moment ago very tense and obviously being restrained, relaxed and his face took up an almost ominous calm, ominous only because there was no way Sasuke would ever be calm about something like this.
"Hn," Tsunade shrugged gaining Sasuke's attention, "So he wants you as uke huh?" she said and Sasuke raised a brow at her.
"What is that?" Sasuke asked her now, the way Tsunade said it didn't sound like any nick-name, "Uke, what is it?"
Both the Hokage and Shizune's eyes bulged when Sasuke asked that, then they glanced at each other, Shizune covering her mouth as she giggled and Tsunade looking like she was thoroughly enjoying this. Sasuke didn't like being the ignorant one so he glared at them both.
"Uke, Sasuke-kun, it means-" Shizune began but Tsunade cut in.
"It means cat," she told him and Sasuke looked at her doubtfully, "It's another word for neko. Uke, neko, cat, they all mean the same thing." Sasuke looked to Shizune, the other woman had been watching Tsunade the entire time she spoke with her mouth open and when she noticed the Uchiha's dark, scrutinizing eyes on her she quickly nodded in agreement.
"Yes," she said, "It's- actually very true." She told him.
Sasuke looked back into the mirror again, he believed them, but now he was confused.
"This uke belongs to Naruto."
The dobe was probably drunk off his ass when he wrote it with the permanent sharpie on Sasuke forehead (Sasuke took a deep breath so that he didn't lose his temper again just from the thought). But why would Naruto call Sasuke a cat and then claim him as his own? Was Kiba somehow evolved in this? He couldn't remember anything weird happening last night.
"Well as amusing as I find this Uchiha, you've got a mission, so…." Tsunade said as she went into her draw and pulled out her file of missions.
"You can just cover it with your forehead protector." Shizune tried to help him but Sasuke almost face palmed.
"I lost it." He said grudgingly and he heard Tsunade chuckle.
"Tsunade-sama, maybe he can borrow someone else's." Shizune suggested.
Tsunade seemed to contemplate that idea as she searched for the particular sheet that was Sasuke's mission. "Well, your only teammate for this mission isn't here yet." She said as she finally found it and began reading, "If you can find one by the time he-"
The sound of a poof and a burst of smoke cut Tsunade off and Sasuke closed his eyes and he sighed as his one chance was taken away before it was even properly given. His teammate was here and he'd have to go through this mission with that thing on his forehead for everyone to see. A very dangerous looking smile graced his lips as he thought of all the things he was going to do to his best friend when he returned. Drunk or not, Naruto was a daring idiot without a shred of self-preservation instincts to have written that on his forehead.
Sasuke looked up at the guy who was supposed to be his teammate for the day daring the dark haired teen with his eyes to say anything at all. Sai just studied the Uchiha's face with eyes that might have been coldly dead of emotion like it usually did, butt there was some feeling there glimmering dimly, it could have been some mild interest. But then he smiled that broad, fake smile, that Sasuke always found ridiculous, and said, "I knew it."
To be continued
Please tell me what you think =)