Summary: Alice is left heartbroken when Bella leaves to avoid the controversy of their love. After two long years, Alice is determined to reunite with her love. When she does, she finally feels like she's home.
A/N: This is my first story. Well technically it's my second because I'm writing a story at the moment called "Coming Undone." But it was originally meant to be for the Mardi Gras Short Story Competition. Turns out it was too long, so I decided to make it into a one-shot. I know the story is complete but i'd really appreciate it if you reviewed it and let me know what you think! Thanks :)
This is a link to the Banner for this story, my amazing Beta Jenndur made it and i edited it.
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Disclaimer: the characters names and characteristics in this story all belong to their respectful owner, Stephanie Meyer. Anything other than their names and characteristics is originally thought from me. Their physical features are in no way or form as describes them, all physical features are thought up from myself. No copyright infringement is intended.
I let out a heavy sigh as I rest my head on my arms, gazing out of the train window and watching the landscape pass me by as the rain falls down on the glass; another minute, another hour, another day and another month without her. It's been two years since she left me, two years. I ring her and write her a letter every day. But not once do I ever get a reply. Even when my birthday came and went, she didn't call. Every day I feel myself sinking lower and lower into myself. I thought I was doing okay, but everything just reminds me of her. I always see someone that has the same smirk, the same shade of green eyes or the same hazelnut brown coloured hair as hers. I lean back into my seat. And close my eyes, letting myself get lost in my memories of her.
She looks up at me through her lashes, knowing exactly what that look does to me. How can one girl be so breathtakingly beautiful? Without taking my eyes away from hers. I lift her chin up towards me. She leans in further and I plant a soft kiss on her lips. She closes her eyes and sighs, running her hand around my neck and up into my hair, pulling me closer to her. I wrap my arms around her waist, pulling her onto me until she was straddling me. She strokes my cheek and I lean into her palm. Looking into my eyes, she leans in towards me slowly. I close my eyes, expecting her to kiss me, but I feel her lips at me ear instead. "I love you," she whispers, planting kisses on my neck, jaw, cheek, before eventually reaching my lips again.
I wipe at my cheeks, not realizing that the tears have escaped from my eyes. We were so happy, everything was perfect; I don't understand how she could just walk away from what we had.
These days I hardly even sleep anymore. I always stay up and replay that day she left. I should have seen the fear creeping into her mind, but she kept her feelings hidden well.
How am I supposed to feel when she's not here? She was everything to me. I still hold onto silly things, like the plastic ring she gave me out of a gum ball machine — I still wear it every day; the perfume she used to wear, I spray it on my pillow every night before I go to bed; I wear her oversized shirt I found when I was cleaning out our closet one day — I lay there with my eyes closed, becoming intoxicated by her scent. It's like I'm surrounded by her.
Why do I keep hurting myself like this? Every memory I have of her makes my body ache in places I never knew I had. Every time I actually try to think straight and get rid of everything that reminds me of her, my heart starts a riot inside of me and I can't bear to part with any of it. She was always so happy and cheerful; she was funny and outgoing; she had the most beautiful soul and put everyone before herself — there's no doubt that she was beautiful, inside and out.
I wonder if she ever thinks about me — she's all I ever think about. I'd give anything to be able to follow her back to the beginning and just relive the start. The last time I saw her is still etched in the back of my mind. I always think about all the beautiful times we had together — I gave her all my love. But I guess not even that was enough to subside her fears of the future.
In the end, all she gave me was goodbye. I told her things would change and everyone would soon accept us for who we are. And I found her just like I told her I would; it's not long now until I see her face again.
I walk through the front door to see Bella walking down the stairs with two suitcases in her hands. "What are you doing home?" she asks me, her eyes are read and blotchy — she's been crying.
"I got off work early… What's with the suitcases?" I ask as I glance at them. I step closer to her, wiping away the tears left on her cheeks. She closes her eyes at my touch as a sob escaping her lips. I go to wrap my arms around her, but she pulls away. "Hey, what's wrong?" I ask, my voice laced with confusion.
"I—I can't do this anymore, Alice."
"You can't do what anymore?" She looks me in the eyes, and I watch as another tear falls down her face. "This." She gestures between herself and I. "Us," she whispers as another sob escapes her.
I feel my eyes stinging and soon they're filled with tears. "Why? What's changed?" I ask in a whisper, my voice cracking on the last word. I don't know what's brought these feelings on — everything has been fine, we haven't had any fights, and everything is fine! "You won't understand… I just, I have to go." she says softly, stepping around me trying to walk away. I grab a hold of her arm; she flinches away from my touch and I drop my arm to my side.
"Then talk to me, help me understand. Why do you feel like this? Why do you want to leave?" I ask in a frenzied voice as I step closer to her, reaching my hands out to her. She pushes me away roughly, grabbing her suitcases and runs towards the door. I stand there in shock, watching her walk out the door. I run after her. "Bella wait. Please, just talk to me!" I yell through my tears, as I run out to the front porch.
She turns around and looks at me, her face covered in pain. She drops her bags and runs towards me, grabbing my face in her hands. "Don't, please don't cry, it's not because of you—"
"Do not say 'it's not you, it's me' if you value my sanity." We stare into each others eyes, her lips curving up into that sexy smirk she does. A laugh escapes my lips, causing her face to fall as she breaks eye contact with me. Another tear slips down her cheek and I wipe it away as I place my hands over hers, entwining them together.
"I'm not," she whispers. "It's not you. I'm just sick of pretending to be something we're not. I love you so much, but I'm sick of hiding us."
I sigh, wrapping my arms around her. "You think I don't feel the same? I'd give anything to scream off of the roof tops that I'm in love with you. We just have to wait a little bit longer— everything will be alright, things are changing." She leans into me as she begins to sob, and I feel her tears soaking my shirt. I wrap my arms around her tighter and her legs eventually give in. I sit us on the ground, rubbing her back as she tries to get her breathing back together.
She sits up, looking over at me. "You know, one day you'll get sick of saying that everything will be alright. It's never going to be completely okay — there are always going to be people that hate us because of who we are. The name calling won't stop, and the bashing's and rapes will continue. What if everyone finds out about us? I wouldn't be able to survive if anything ever happened to you because of how we feel about each other," she says softly. "I love you — I always will, you know that. But it's over Ali… it has to be."
I tighten my grip on her hands, shaking my head. "It doesn't. We can survive all of this if we just hold on. It doesn't have to be over — we don't have to be over," I plead with her through a broken voice.
"I'm sorry," she apologizes as she leans over, placing a soft kiss on my lips.
I place my right hand around her neck, keeping her from pulling away. If this is the last kiss I'm going to get from her, I'm going to make the most of it. She runs her hands into my hair, pulling me closer to her. I run my tongue along her bottom lip, willing her to open up for me. She obeys and I dart my tongue in her mouth; our tongues collide in a tangled mess, dancing around to a silent tango. I tilt her head back, deepening the kiss, and a moan escapes her lip. I pull away from her, placing kisses along her neck as I travel up to her ear.
"I can't find the right words to tell you, how hard it's going to be without you, but just know that I'll never let this go, I'll never let us go. I love you; I'll look for you one day, and I'll come find you."
I stand up, wrapping my arms around my chest. she picks up her suitcases and packs them into her car. She walks towards me, but heads back up the stairs, gathering the rest of her things. She comes pack down, with the teddy bear that I bought her for her birthday, it says "forever and always" on its stomach. She clutches it to her chest, as she walks back to me. She takes my hand in hers and squeezes it "Bye Ali. I'll miss you," she whispers before walking back to her car.
As she begins to pull out of the drive way, I follow her and walk to the end of the driveway. I watch her drive down the street, away from us, away from me. Once she's completely out of sight, I walk back into the house, slamming the door angrily behind me. I walk up the stairs to what was our room, I begin to throw anything I can get my hands on as my tears and sobbing become uncontrollable. I collapse onto the bed and snuggle up with the pillow from her side, inhaling the scent — it still smells like her. I finally give into the pain, letting it overtake me.
That was the first of many nights to come, that I would cry myself to sleep.
The train's loud whistle brings me out of my reverie. I take a deep breath as I gather up my things — it's now or never. I walk down the carriage to the doors that will lead me to my heaven, or hell — I'm not quite sure yet. I haven't seen her in two years; she may not even feel the same about me. I feel bad for invading her like this, but I just couldn't handle the pain anymore. I told her I would search for her and that's what has bought me to Melbourne, the city of Victoria. I must admit I was quite proud when I heard that she was the owner of a very popular hairdressing salon; she always talked about wanting to become a hairdresser and owning her own salon business.
I smile to myself as I think about the hopes and dreams she had. I catch a taxi to her work and glance through the windows as the car pulls up out front — I don't see her in the shop. Maybe she's out back? I pay the driver and get my bags out of the boot. I head up to the entrance of the salon, taking a deep breath as I walk through the door and the sound of bells fills my ears. Everyone turns around and looks at me expectantly.
"Um, hi. Uh, I was just wondering if Bella was in," I asked them.
One tall girl with long blonde hair walked out from the back, "Hi. Sorry, but she isn't in today. I'm Tanya. Can I help you with anything?" she asks as she eyes my suitcases.
"Oh, I'm just… an old friend, come to visit."
"Oh, that's great. I'm sure she'll be happy to see you. Do you know where she lives?" she asks, with a hint of investigation in her voice.
"Yeah, of course. Just around the corner, right?" She smiles at me and visibly relaxes once I declare that I know where she lives.
"Yeah, that's right," she says.
"Well, thanks," I reply enthusiastically. Bella always said I was a horrible actress; hopefully my acting was good enough for this woman. She smiles at me as I walk out of the salon. I wave to her as I pass the window, turning the corner onto a tiny little street filled with small houses. I walk down the street to number 24 and stand out the front, gazing at all the beautiful flowers that surround her front yard.
I sense someone looking at me; I look up and see Bella standing in the window, frozen on the spot, shock covering her features. A smile forms on her lips and I smile back at her. I walk through her gate as she flies out of her front door.
"Alice?" she asks me in shock. "Is it really you?"
I smile at her as I play with the ends of my sleeves, "Yeah, it's me. How are you?" I ask her nervously.
I see the tears forming in her eyes as she begins to run towards me. I close the distance between us and catch her as she runs into my arms. Our lips connect and I kiss her passionately, letting all the suffering and longing I've felt for the past two years flow into it. She pulls away from the kiss, wrapping her arms around my neck and hugs me close to her. I tighten my grip on her as she begins to sob into our embrace.
"I-I've m-missed you s-so much," she whispers.
"I missed you too, Bells. I told you I'd never let us go, I told you I'd find you," I whispered back.
She releases her hold on me, and I tuck a strand of hair behind her ear as I look into her eyes. She bites her bottom lip and I quirk my brow at her— that's something she always did when she was embarrassed or nervous.
"I'm sorry for everything. I love you — I never stopped loving you," she says softly. I sigh, stroking her cheek as she leans into my palm, closing her eyes.
"I sent you letters every day, you know," I said.
Her eyes snap open, with a puzzled expression covering her features. "What? I never got any letters…" she says.
I smile down at her, wiping away her tears. "It doesn't matter now. All that matters is we're here, together. I'm never letting you go again," I whisper into her ear.
She entwines her hand with mine, leading me to the door, and for the first time in two years, I finally feel like I'm home.