Chapter one

" Bella, What are we going to do, It's too late to have it taken care of. "

I looked at my mother Renee, her eyes were swollen and red. We have spent a better part the day crying, She was crying cause I have disappointed her. I was a good girl. I didn't experiment with drugs when all my friends did. I was always home before curfew. I was an A student well on her way to a full scholarship to Dartmouth College. I was crying cause in one night I destroyed everything I worked for , My chance at College, my families love and respect for me. I in a way lost the respect for myself. I would now become no more then a small town scandal.

" Mom, I am so sorry. I never meant this to happen. I don't know what we are going to do"

" I hope you aren't thinking about keeping the thing. That is not up for discussion"

" Mom, The doctor says I'm too far along for an abortion"

"Isabella, You have your whole life ahead of you, We won't let this inconvenience hinder everything you're destined for!"

" What are you saying?"

" You are going to give it up for adoption, no questions asked, Go to your room, I still have to break the news to your father, Charlie is going to go ballistic"

"Yes, Mom"


I never went out with my friends , not in a social setting. I didn't go to parties on the weekends. I didn't go to football games. I was never a cheerleader, hell I wasn't even in the marching band. I had two friends Angela, She was a bit of a nerd like I am, but she was in the band. She met the love of her life during our freshman year Ben. They had their life mapped out from the start. College. Marriage, kids, and happily ever after. My best friend in the whole wide world was Lauren. My parents didn't like her. She was the wild one. She drank, smoked and was very active when it came to sex. I had known her since first grade. She was the wild one. I loved her dearly. I think in some ways I lived vicariously threw her. She told me how it felt to do those things.

Our senior prom was held in May, This would be my first night on my own without parents. The first time I was going to actually feel like a teenager . I was set to graduate the next month and I was to leave for Dartmouth in the fall. That was part of the plan.

Prom for the most part was a wonderful experience. Lauren's dad rented a limo so that we would have safe transportation to and from. They weren't naïve in thinking their daughter would remain sober. I decided to go with Jacob Black. He was a family friend of ours and the only one who my parents trusted to take me to prom. I felt a bit stupid having my dad arrange my date. He lived on Lapush reservation and didn't go to school with us. He was a year older then I and had graduated from school the year before. He was working at his cousin's auto garage. Lauren and Angela said it was hot that I was going with an older guy to prom.

I loved the whole pampering and getting dressed up part. It was a wonderful experience to have with my two best friends. I looked like a totally different person. I didn't look like the plain Bella. I actually considered myself beautiful. My dress was a sleeveless navy blue dress. My hair was pinned up and I had small crystals attached to some of the curls. I wore my mothers diamond studded earrings that my father had given to her on the day I was born We had danced and I enjoyed Jacob's company. He did everything possible to make my prom experience enjoyable . We were leaving when Lauren suggested we to an after party that was held by Michael Newton at his parents house. I asked Jacob if he wanted to go and he said he had to work the next day and we dropped him off at home.

There was a lot of people at Mike's. The whole student body showed up. I didn't know them well. I followed Lauren in and we walked to the table and she handed me a red cup of what she called juice. I later learned it's a combination of assorted liquors and fruit punch. It tasted really good. You could hardly tell it held any alcohol in it. Lauren had decided to mingle and I sat on the couch drinking. I've been there awhile when James Newton , Mike's older brother came to sit next to me. He was three years older then the rest of us. He was a junior at Washington state and in town to cause he was on break from finals at school.

" How have you been Isabella, Where did your date go?"

"Jacob had to go back to the reservation, He had to work tomorrow"

" I seen you walk in with Lauren, You sure have grown up a lot, turned into a very sexy woman"

" James, sexy isn't a word to describe me, you have it wrong"

" How come you never dated my brother, He's always had a crush on you"

" Well, I don't have time for a boyfriend, besides there is no one of interest to me"


"Because I choose to spend my time focused on my studies, I have a scholarship to College next fall and I don't need unnecessary distractions"

" so are you still a virgin?"

" That's a personal question that I don't have to answer?"

I got and immediately began to feel the effects of the 4 cups of juice I drank. I looked for over an hour to find Lauren. I noticed the limo was gone. I couldn't believe I was ditched. She would never of done this to me. I tried calling her on her cell but all I got was a voicemail. My head was cloudy and I couldn't call my parents to come get me, I had been drinking and I knew they would be furious not to mention my father was police chief and there was a house full of underage drinkers. I didn't want to get anyone in trouble.

The only person I knew that wasn't drunk was James. I didn't feel right about asking him to take me home, but I had no choice I walked back in and saw James talking to Mike. " I hate to ask you this James, but could you take me home, Lauren has left me and I have no way home, you're the only sober enough"

" sure sweetheart, I can do that, give me about ten minutes and ill meet you by my car, it's the silver Honda out front"

" okay Thanks"

Ten minutes later James come out with keys in hand and we left. I started to doze off in the front seat. I woke when I felt someone jerk me out the car. I looked and saw a very pissed off James. I looked around and noticed we were no where near my house but at the cliffs at First Beach.

" What are you doing James?"

" You've been a fucking tease all damn night bitch"

I was still foggy from drinking and I would trip as he dragged me to a clearing near the woods. I could hear the waves crashing on the beach. It used to be a sound that brought me peace. He stopped and threw me down on the ground and laid on top of me. I tried to fight him off of me, but he was much bigger and stronger them me. I wanted to yell, but I knew no one would hear me. First beach was secluded and there were no houses for at least a mile. I laid there crying and praying as he ripped my dress and tore my panties from me. The pain as he entered me was indescribable . He pushed into me hard and fast. I never imagined my first time would be like this. I had dreams of being with the man I love and he would be gentle and take care of me. He would whisper words of love as I gave him my virginity. If I had gone home when the prom was over this wouldn't be happening to me. James kisses were so hard that he busted my lip. He kept his left hand around my neck as he violated me. It seemed like it was lasting forever. But in reality James was a minute man . I was thankful. I could smell the blood flowing from my legs .

" Well I got my answer Isabella Swan is or should I say was a virgin after all"

He reached by my waist and grabbed my underwear. I watched him as he put them in his pocket. I just wanted him to leave. He got what he wanted. I felt so stupid and foolish.

" Well I will be saving these to remember you by and I'm sure you will always remember me"

I moved to sit up and leave when he punched me and everything went black.


I woke and light has started to peek threw the trees. Every part of my body hurt. I sat up and saw the dried blood on my legs. My dress was in shreds. James left me for dead. I looked beside me and found my purse. I was hoping that my cell was still in there. I turned it on an noticed I had over fifty calls from my parents and over a hundred texts. They were all saying basically the same thing Bella call home now! , Where are you, . I couldn't call them. This was all my fault for not listening to them. I called Jacob. He was on he way out the door to go to work.

"Hello Bella, what do I owe the pleasure of your call this morning"

" Jacob, Please help me"

"What's wrong sweet heart , where are you?"

"I was left near First Beach"


"Jake, I'll explain when you get here"

Five minutes later Jacob pulled up in his Chevy s-10 . I had already moved closer to the edge of the woods, where he could see me. When Jake got to me, I explained everything, he was so mad, I had never seem him so furious. I told me to never tell my parents or anyone about what had happened. He tried to protest but agreed. Jacob called my parents and let them know that I stayed over at his house with his little sister Rachel . He cleaned me up and gave me something to wear. He nursed my scrapes and bruises. He drove me home. I hidden any facial wounds with my hooded jacket and makeup . I was thankful that the weather in Forks, Washington was mild and never really hot.

I ignored everyone for the last few days of school. I didn't even speak to Angela or Lauren. I was so mad at Lauren for ditching me . Graduation was suppose to be a joyous occasion. James of course was there for his brother Mike. He kept staring at me, Looking at him made me nauseous. I told my parents I wasn't feeling well and I went home. That was the last I saw of him.

I was beginning to be sick after graduation. My mom decided to take me to the doctor after I didn't get any better after two weeks. When the doctor came back with my results , I was shocked more so my mother. I was nine weeks pregnant . The doctor started to talk about options. I told her in private that an abortion was not an option and to please tell my mother it was too late for one, even though I knew better.

I was sitting in my room when I heard a knock at the door. I braced myself for what wrath my father was going to reign down on me.

"Bella, baby we need to talk"