AN: I was watching this movie again at 12 am because I have a bad case of insomnia. While I was watching it this one shot popped into my head…it was weird because it wouldn't go away. So I turned on my computer and began writing. This is what I got. So here I am at 2 am now putting it up on fanfic.
I love him
It started with a plan. That was all. I just spoke my mind for once. I didn't mean to yell at them in gym, I didn't mean to start a conversation with them in detention. They always said the best things happened without warning. Well I had no warning when I was hit in the head by the volleyball. I believe that's what truly started it.
The volleyball was at fault. If I wasn't standing in that exact position I would of never been hit by a volleyball. I would have never gotten caught up in the cat fight. I wouldn't of blown the P.E. teachers whistle and yelled at them. It was all the volleyball you see.
I only meant to knock some sense into them. I only wanted them to see how stupid they were acting. Starting an all out fight because of a guy? An asshole? A cute asshole mind you but that's not the point. They were idiots…all of them. Falling under his spell. I couldn't believe they couldn't see straight through him. Were they all brain dead? How could they not see that his act was all a lie?
Then in detention they began fighting again. This time it was verbally luckily. They figured out he gave them the same speech. I was already annoyed enough with them. I just wanted to get through detention without bitch fits. So I opened my mouth. I gained their attention. Then I spoke some more. I let my anger from seeing my mother being hurt over and over by guys like him boil over. So I told them I'd get even with a guy like him. I didn't think they'd ever take me seriously.
That night. When they all appeared at my door. I was happy that they wanted to actually spend time with me. I had spent so much of my life alone, that at the first sign of friendship I jumped at it. I didn't even care that they only anted to know me because they believed I had all the answers to their hurt. So I ignored the bad things about why they hung out with me and only focused on the fact that I had friends.
We tried tearing him down first. Making him completely unpopular, but it didn't work. He just got even more popular. At every turn he bounced back, showing me that he was stronger then the average Skip. I kept thinking of ways to get meaner. I needed them to stay interested in me. I needed to have them as friends.
So I thought of the pills. The estrogen pills worked like a charm on him. It worked. He completely broke down in the middle of the game. It was an amazing feeling meeting the gazes of my friends and seeing their proud and triumphant smiles. The plan itself worked for a while. Everyone didn't want to be seen with the guy who acted like a complete pansy on the court. Then the sensitive easy type girls started going up to him.
I had another plan. It was perfect. I was going to tell them all after school. They would love me for it. It would tear him down completely. Of course it was the meanest thing I had ever thought of. I mean…I wasn't mean by nature but I needed them to stay my friends. I was desperate for them you see. I didn't want to go back to the invisible girl at school.
But when they all came to my house. They told me the worst news I have ever heard. He had broken up with them. Our ways to getting to him were gone now. There wasn't anyway we could still pull it all off if they weren't dating him. I was defeated, but I gave them chocolate in hopes of making them see I was a good friend no matter what. And it worked. We laughed and ate junk food while they gushed over how much they hated John Tucker.
But of course it didn't last. They all wanted me to do something. Something I would never do. I wasn't mean to people. I couldn't hurt someone that bad, but they all began to leave. I agreed to break his heart knowing it would keep them my friends for a little while longer. That was a good reason right? Well for me it was at the time.
So I let them morph me into what they wanted me to be. I acted like a hard to get slut who had some morals. It was all fun and games for a while. They made me into his perfect girl. I loved every moment they kept me around. I was becoming known. People talked to me. I wanted to stay known. To stay popular.
He was easy to lure in. It was easy to get him wanting me. I was their perfect creation after all. I liked the flattery he tried. The flowers were cheesy and it was a classic. I wouldn't fall for his cheap tricks. He was a Skip after all. He didn't mean anything he did. It was funny watching him stress over trying to impress me. Fun to see all my friends faces light up with amusement as I turned him down at every turn.
I knew what I was doing the whole time. I knew that at every smooth remark, and flirty offhanded pass he was going in deeper. I knew that by the end of it all that I would break his heart. I knew all this and I didn't care one bit. I was popular, I had friends, and I was being someone new. I was a new person. I was cruel, sexy, hot, and had the most wanted guy in the palm of my hand. I had it all.
He took me out to dinner…well what I thought was suppose to be dinner. It ended up being on a boat. He was charming like usual. I laughed at everything he said. He was still trying to impress me. Become my perfect guy, but what he didn't know was that the girl he was falling for was a fake. It was easy to become the new Kate.
But then he got serious. I was leaning against a pole while he leaned over me. His voice had dropped in embarrassment and nerves. He had looked me in the eyes and told me what he feared. He feared trying to get with me. I froze. The person they created went on stand by. I was myself. He told me who he really was. And then went for a kiss. I couldn't let him kiss me. Not the real me. Not the invisible girl who meant absolutely nothing to him. So I blurted out my opinion. He looked hurt that I had dodged his kiss after that confession. But he played it over smoothly.
I planned on backing out after that. I couldn't go through with it any longer. How could I break his heart when I wasn't even really in possession of it? They were…the girls I considered my friends. I was just their robot, their doll. I told them I didn't want to do it anymore. I couldn't do it anymore. I wasn't this monster they created.
They pulled me in again. They showed me a video of John talking about me so crudely in the locker room with his friends. I was just suppose to be an easy fuck to him. My anger grew. I thought he had been sincere with me then. On the boat he's never taken anyone else on. I couldn't see any lies or deceit in his eyes. I became the bitch they made me into.
I humiliated him for a third time and didn't care. I smirked in satisfaction as he stood there in the hall, blushing and trying to cover himself. I felt nothing but glee as I saw him cower under the gaze of everyone. I went back to my room and gushed over our victory.
I had a whole weekend to think over what I did. I hated myself for it. I hated they my friends had me in such a choke hold. I hated how I needed them to stay popular. I wanted to be me again, but how could I? the school didn't know me…they knew Carrie's, Beth's, and Heather's Barbie doll. I needed to get out of this before I actually lost myself. My mother was right…I couldn't do this.
It was Monday now. Two days before John's birthday and his ultimate heart break. I had gone through the first half of the day pleading that he wouldn't try and talk to me. But I saw the whole boy population wearing thongs at lunch He made it popular. I swallowed over the lump in my throat and kept walking hoping he would be mad at me.
I couldn't have him talk to me right now. I wouldn't be able to handle it. I would tell him everything. I would confess to being a complete fake. I would tell him who really was behind this girl he liked. That I wasn't her. I wasn't this…thing that was made for him. I wasn't her. And it shattered me. He had fallen for it. The God of the Kodiaks, the high and mighty John Tucker fell for his own game. His own trap. He had fallen for a girl I played…not me.
I didn't notice it at first. I didn't notice that I started feeling the butterflies when he would come up to me. I didn't notice that my thoughts of him changed with each moment we spent together. When I did notice…he had already fallen for their girl. And I was in love with him. It all started out with a plan, no…a volley ball. It was meant to be a harmless revenge for three girls who had their hearts torn. It was only meant to show him a lesson. But now…the only thing I wanted him to figure out was that I loved him. Me, Kate loved John Tucker, but no…he loved Kate 2.0 property of the three bitchiest girls in school.
"Hey Kate!" I closed my eyes and clutched my folder closer to my chest. No…not now…I looked to see him run up to me. "Hey…the other night didn't really go as planned…" he said a faint blush staining his tanned cheeks.
"Ya…sorry." I muttered and kept walking. Please John…walk away from me.
"Eh…it's alright I kind of…spun it." he admitted truthfully. I chuckled at that.
"Ya you did. Everyone knows Vicky's secret now." I looked around me and saw Carrie a few yards away subtly recording it all. Go away John…
"Mmhmm Tommy was thinking about making it a Birthday theme. 'Not the same old thong and dance'" he smiled big breaking off another pice of my heart. I swallowed over my hurt and turned up my blow off bitch knob.
"Cute." I answered curtly hoping he'd just leave now. If he kept at it…I would tell him. He stopped walking next to me.
"Kate…Kate wait. Wait." he hurried to catch back up. He moved in front of me causing me to stop walking. I averted my eyes from him. "Look…you don't get it. I humiliated myself for your attention…and I'm not trying this hard just to hook up." I scowled remembering the video.
"I'm not just some '82 Bordeaux you wanna uncork and pork?" I asked with a turn of my lip. He looked at me like I just dropped a bomb.
"N-no t-that's just locker room talk…I don't mean any of it." he explained hurriedly…looking very worried. I moved my gaze away from him. Please John…just go away now.
"So you look like an asshole in front of your friends so you won't be seen as whipped?" I bit my lip nervously. Say no…say that you are an asshole. Say that all you want is a quick fuck.
"Yes." he sounded so relieved. I closed my eyes and tried to quell the swelling in my chest. How could I even thought of doing this to him? No one deserves this. "I'm doing things I've never done before Kate. I even put on your underwear and scaled a building!" it was leading up to something. I made a face. He sighed heavily sounding defeated. Good…go away. "I'm trying so hard…" No… "But I'm out of plays." Shut up. Please John just shut up. Don't say anything else. I looked up unable to resist not looking at him. He had bright green eyes…like oak leaves in a summer day. "Kate…you're the one." I felt my world fall.
He didn't love me. He loved the puppet I became. He loved the fake girl they made. He didn't love me. He didn't love me. Why…why the hell was I hit in the damn head with the volley ball? Why couldn't I keep my stupid mouth shut? Why did I have to tell them that I would get even with a guy like him? He didn't deserve it. He had feeing like the rest of us. He was human like us.
"Look…I've never done this before…so I'm not…" he sighed trailing off and began fumbling to get his watch off. "Sure how this works but…" I felt my tears welling up in my eyes. Don't do it John. "It's just something personal. Okay?" he got the watch off. "Just something to show you…" he slipped it on my wrist clasping it closed before holding my arm up. "AN whoever else wants to know that I'm whipped." he nodded once pursing his lips before looking back down at me. "Yeah…I'm whipped." his shoulders hunched in slightly and his eye brows lifted up. "Will you be my girlfriend?" I looked down at the large watch. My pain, anger, and sorrow brimming over leaving wet trails down my cheeks. "Kate?"
"I have to…I have to go…" I muttered not lifting my head up and bypassed him. I kept walking till I got to the car. I couldn't do this any longer. I couldn't be who they wanted me to be anymore. I fallen in too deep. Why couldn't I stay emotionally detached? Why did I have to fall for him? I had drove home without realizing it. I ran into the house and up into my room before my mom could see me.
I curled up miserably on my bed hugging one of my pillows close to my chest and sobbed. I cried for everything I got myself into. I was an idiot. Thinking that by breaking a guy down I would be able to keep my friends around. I was only ever their pawn. I meant nothing to them. All they cared about was themselves and their personal gain. They didn't care that John was actually a nice guy. That he actually had a heart that cared about people. They only wanted to see him as broken as they were.
"Honey…what happened?" I felt my mom sit on the bed and rub my back soothingly. I abandoned my pillow to bury myself into her stomach. Her arms wrapped lovingly around my torso. "Shhh….it's okay…it's alright…" I sobbed harder. Why did I have to fall for a guy who would never love the real me? "What wrong sweetie? You can tell me." I sniffled before looking up at my mom. Her eyes filled with sympathy and hurt.
"I love him mom…" I croaked another sob breaking through my throat. "I love him and he only knows what they created…" I pressed my face back into her stomach my crying doubling.
"Oh my poor girl…" she crooned rubbing my back soothingly. "It's going to be alright honey…" after a while of her soft soothing words and back rubbing my crying subsided. "How about I make you some hot chocolate?" I nodded and let her go. She got up and went away. I curled further into my ball my back to the door.
I stared out at my bedroom wondering what would happen now. I ran out when he had asked me to be his girlfriend. I looked at the watch on my wrist. Why did he have to fall for his own trap? Why couldn't he see that it was all a lie? When I went back to school…what would happen. They'd yell at me of course. They would tell me I was an idiot for running off that way. That I ruined their revenge. Their plans…it was all them. Always them. I even kissed a girl because of them!
"Kate?" the deep voice of the one person I really didn't want to talk to made me freeze. "I...uhh…your mom let me in…I just…I umm…I wanted to…" I heard a deep sigh and footsteps. I felt my bed springs bend from the weight. "I wanted to say sorry?…if I scared you back at school…I guess I really do come on-" he stopped talking when I sat up. I drew my knees to my chest and stared at John. He had come to my house to apologize. I felt more tears, but I refused to let them surface.
"I'm Kate Lancen." he looked at me confusedly. "I am the most socially awkward person I know, I love old bands, I like belting them out even though I can't sing for anything, I am a klutz, I am considered smart, I absolutely despise cheerleaders and cheerleading, and I've never went out with anyone." I finished by biting my lip. I saw him open his mouth to speak. "I'm not done. I am also…the girl you fell for. The one that is mysterious, charming, experienced, plays up everything like it's sexual. I know three girls who are at least one of those things."
"What are you trying to say Kate?"
"Carrie, Beth, and Heather to be exact. They are the people behind me being the girl you know. We met because they started a fight in gym…" and I told him the truth. I told him everything we did, and why I was doing it. I finally let out all the pent up emotions that had been growing since this whole mess started. When I was done I let out a relieved breath. He sat there looking a little more then betrayed, and hurt. "If you want your watch back…I'd give it." his hand stilled mine from taking it off. I looked up confused, but was soon lost in the sincerity of his eyes.
"I know I should probably hate you right now…but I can't." he smiled a small almost shy smile. I blinked unable to comprehend what was happening. He wasn't mad? Why didn't he leave? I watched his hand move to lightly wipe the tears I was unaware I was shedding. "Thank you…for telling me the truth." he leaned in and our lips met.