Olivia watched Alex from the corner of her eye during the ride to their brownstone. Alex had reached over and took Olivia's hand in hers not long after they had entered the cab. That was the only closeness or touching Olivia was allowing. She made sure Alex stayed on her side of the cab, politely pushing Alex over when she tried to get closer. She could see the hurt in Alex's eyes when she did but there was questions Olivia needed, wanted, and demanded to be answered before she would allow anything to happen. No matter how bad her body ached for Alex.
Olivia paid for the cab and held the door open for Alex. She quietly followed Alex up the stairs and into their brownstone. Even though Alex tried to hide it she kept glancing back to make sure Olivia was still following her.
Olivia secured their front door and turned around only to be pinned to the door. Alex held an almost predatory look in her eyes when she locked eyes with Olivia. The look sent shivers down Olivia's spine and made her body ache even more for Alex's touch. It took all the strength and reserve that Olivia had to push Alex away and lead her to the table in the kitchen.
"Alex we need to talk before anything happens tonight." Olivia said as she pulled the chair out for her. "Would you like a drink?"
Alex looked at Olivia with tear filled eyes. "A glass of wine, please."
The look on Alex's face shattered Olivia's heart. She gently wiped the tears from Alex's eyes before whispering in her ear "We just need to talk. I love you."
Alex watched Olivia walk to the counter and pull a bottle of wine from the rack and open it. She trembled as the thought that she had truly destroyed what was between them crossed her mind. When Olivia turned to face her she plastered her best smile on her face and waited for the onslaught that was about to occur.
Olivia carried Alex's glass of wine and her bottle of beer back to the table and sat down. She began trying to peel the label off the bottle trying to avoid Alex's eyes.
"Why Lex?" Olivia almost whispered. "What wasn't I giving you? Why did you need to look elsewhere?"
Alex tried to swallow over the lump that was forming in her throat. "Olivia you have always given me what I needed in and out of the bedroom."
"Then WHY?" Olivia asked trying to keep her emotions under control when she raised her eyes to met Alex's.
The tears that Alex had tried so hard to keep at bay began to run down her cheek "I did it for you."
"For me? What was it you thought I needed that you wasn't giving me? Did you ever once stop to think about asking me what I wanted?"
"Liv" Alex choked out as she gently took Olivia's hand in hers praying she wouldn't jerk away. When she didn't she took it as a good sign. "I am the first woman you have ever been with. One night we were out and I saw how you looked at another woman."
"I people watch. It's part of being a cop. Being observant."
"I know but there was something different in your eyes when you saw her. That was when I started thinking that maybe you should go out and experience more."
"How about what I wanted?"
"I know you well enough to know that even if you wanted to date around you would never tell me to avoid hurting me."
"I didn't see you fighting me on it either."
"Why would I? It was something that you wanted. I have always tried my hardest to give you what you wanted."
Alex laughed "You know Abbie told me the same thing."
"Yes Abbie. I spent my nights and your nights with her. Usually crying on her shoulder. She had enough tonight. Sent me off to find you and stop this nonsense."
"You were never with other women?" Olivia asked with hope building in her.
"No." Alex told her as she stood and positioned herself in Olivia's lap "You are the only woman I want to be with. Forever and Always." She whispered before slowly kissing Olivia.
Olivia relaxed into the kiss. Alex didn't want anyone else or needed anything from anyone else.
"What about you?" Alex asked as she broke the kiss.
Olivia decided that since Alex had put her through this hell she was going to have a little fun "I thought you said no questions asked about what we did on our nights out?"
Alex pulled back and looked at Olivia. Damn she thought to herself She is using her *cop face* The one where I can't tell if she's joking or not.
"So you were with other women?"
"Maybe I was. Maybe I wasn't. Again I thought you said no questions asked." Olivia replied biting the inside of her mouth trying not to laugh at the look Alex had on her face.
"You right. I did say no questions asked." Alex whispered trying to keep the hurt out of her voice as she started to go back to her chair.
Olivia grabbed Alex by the waist and pulled her back into her lap. She turned Alex's face to hers and gently trailed her thumb down her cheek and then traced her lips with it.
"You are the only woman for me Alexandra Cabot. I have never been with another woman nor do I ever want to."
Alex wrapped her arms around Olivia's neck "Really?"
Olivia smiled at her lover "Yes really. To answer your question. I spent my nights at Fin's."
"Oh that makes me feel better. He defines player. I'm afraid to ask if he tried to give you pointers."
Olivia laughed as she picked Alex up and started to carry her toward the bedroom.
"Only one pointer."
"I'm afraid to ask what was it?"
"Talk to you and stop this one night a week agreement. He said if I didn't do it soon he was going to do it for me."
"I have to say the same about Abbie." Olivia whispered as she laid Alex on the bed and began to make love to the woman who stole her heart the day she was introduced to the squad.