Hi, I'm CP, your author for this fic.
Part two of the Valentines' Day arc, Fallout. I meant to have this out last night (Last night in the Philippine sense) but I fell asleep. But here it is. I apologize for the delay, and I am grateful, as always, from the very bottom of my heart, to each and every single person who read this fic and continue to do so to this day, as well as the supporters from the various sites: tumblr, livejournal, gleeforums, and the like. I wish I could go meet you when the Dalton readers get together on Glee Live (apparently, some people will be making signs and badges so they could find each other), but alas, I remain in my country, hoping that you all will enjoy yourselves.
For what it's worth, I had certain plans for this particular episode but my OCs threw me quite a few curveballs that changed the game. And this is where it ended up. I suppose this is what Sue calls a "boiling point."
I don't own Glee, or Dalton Academy.
Episode 22 – Fallout
I'm Kurt. And this is Dalton Academy.
You know those times when you're desperately looking for a way out of a mess...
...and things only just seemed to get worse?
I thought I had reached that point. I was wrong.
I'm tired of this run-around. And I'm getting out.
I want out now.
The voice carried over the sound of the many many students in the hall, both boarders and day students, all going in and out of rooms setting up the booths that were inside the building. Outside was no less chaotic—there was still construction going on for the outdoor booths, with everyone going crazy. The Hanovers were holed up in the football field, watching their epic rollercoaster project take form.
But there was no staying in Windsor either, Kurt decided. Everything was smoky and a mess—the other Windsors who decided to stay in the dorm promised to search around to see if Pavarotti was still in the dorm. Han (who had, amazingly, been utterly unruffled by the explosions and fire alarms—"I was in the middle of a boss battle. Please, like I'd actually move.") had also volunteered to look through the cameras and see if the bird was around—if it hadn't been frightened to death by the explosion.
Dwight, on the other hand, was truly confident that the bird was still in the house. No one was sure how to take the reliability of that statement.
And all that time, he and Blaine did not look or speak to one another. He hadn't even looked at Blaine since he walked into the common room. Whatever it was they had, they were having it bad.
The madness was why Kurt had fled the dorms and into the relative sanctity of the halls in South and Main, but it would appear that the madness followed him. He'd know that voice anywhere.
"Kurt." Logan finally reached him after jogging past the other people in the hall. He looked a little concerned. "Finally. You didn't come to Stuart House yesterday for tutoring and Julian told me that you're not going to anymore?"
This. The tutoring. The singing. And him.
All of that.
Kurt set his mouth to a line and looked up at the Stuart prefect, who must not have been expecting his hostile reaction.
"Whoa." Logan stared. Kurt glared and continued walking…and Logan pursued. "Hey—wait. Look—if this was about the duet with Blaine—"
"It's not just about the duet, Logan." Kurt hissed as he walked through the hall, trying to speed up. But Logan's legs were longer and he was likely in better shape—he kept up with him easily. "It's this. You and me, and what we're doing."
"We're walking?" Logan asked in an attempt to make Kurt smile. But this only fanned the coals. Kurt stopped and turned to him, eyes blazing.
"What is it, Logan, really?" Kurt demanded, looking up at him. "I just want to know."
"I want to know why you sang with Blaine like you wanted to throttle him. I thought I made it clear to you a million times that I'm dating Blaine. We're together. That was pretty much settled since the New Year party. Do you want me to spell it out for you? Why did you sing like that with him like you were still fighting him—both of you getting worked up like that?"
"Because we don't like each other," Logan snapped, looking annoyed, voice rising. "I thought I made that clear? I may not know everything that's going on with you and your crazy boyfriend, but just because you and Blaine had a fight doesn't mean that you get to take it out on me!"
"I get to take it out on you because we fight about you!" Kurt shot back, words echoing to the rafters. He was not going to get yelled at in this hall by Logan Wright and not fight back. "Tell me, Logan—tell me the truth." Kurt looked up at him with blue eyes that were looking strangely misty. "Because I've been singing with you, spending time with you, talking to you—did you think, no matter how minute, that I would fall in love with you?"
The entire hallway had to be staring. Logan glanced around at them, a little white in the face, but he wasn't backing down. His heart was pounding in his ears, and hot rage was bubbling up quickly. All the familiar signs. And there was no stopping this time, not when he was without the aid of substance.
"If…I said yes…would you stop doing all those things?" he asked shakily, trying to control himself.
"Oh my god…" Kurt looked like he got hit in the gut. He turned away from him, hand pressed to his face, horror in his face. "He was right…all this time he was right—"
"That I am an idiot for thinking that I could make you stop!" Kurt screamed angrily. "I thought you said you were going to try? That you were going to try and get better and you understood that all this time, we were going to be just friends! You said it, not me!"
"I said I'd try to that but I didn't say I'd try to stop being in love with you because I can't!" Logan shot back, not caring if the whole school heard. "And so fine, maybe you are the idiot for thinking that would ever change in me, but when I told you I would take this twisted friendship, I meant it!"
"That's how I had wanted it to stay, Logan," Kurt said, looking completely distraught. "I've told you over and over again that I love Blaine—"
"And it hurts me each and every time!" Logan shot back. "You make your point! I get it! You're with Blaine! That's never changed from the very beginning! But can you honestly tell me that it is so wrong for me to selfishly want to be with you? Even for just a little while? Just to be with you so I could make you look at me for a change!"
"To make me—look at you?" Kurt was breathing hard and he glared at him, shaking his head. "I'm done here, Logan. I'm done. I'm going to stay away from you—I'm tired of having to strain between you and Blaine—and I'm not going to be accused of cheating on him, ridiculous as that sounds!"
"Kurt!" Logan grabbed his arm with a grip powerful enough to bruise. Kurt struggled against him, in pain, and Logan bore down at him. "Is that what he said? Is that it? That he thinks you're cheating on him with me? Is that why you're so angry?"
"Logan, you're hurting me—let me go!"
"Tell me!" Logan demanded.
Kurt looked up and saw his eyes. That green fire. "You—"
Logan released him immediately, sensing what he was doing. Kurt grasped at his hurt arm, staring at him in shock, and Logan realized that he really had hurt him.
"I didn't mean to—" But when he tried to approach, Kurt shoved him off with surprising strength, and then backed away from him like he was a bomb.
Breathing hard, Kurt narrowed his eyes at him. "No. I've had enough. Of you, and him." He felt hot tears stinging in his eyes. "I thought—I thought I wasn't doing anything wrong."
"Yes, I did." Kurt's eyes could've set him on fire. "I did when I trusted you to keep distance. And now I've lost his trust." And he turned heel and fled down the hallway.
"Don't come near me!" Kurt shouted back before he vanished around the bend.
Logan stood in the middle of the hall, breathing hard, as the students around them murmured mutinously at the spectacle. Derek and Julian, who had been watching in shock, emerged from the hall and walked to Logan. "Are you—" Derek began.
"Where. Is Blaine." Logan panted, eyes blazing and never looking away from the direction Kurt went.
Julian let out his breath and frowned a little, arms over his chest. "Saw him go into the cafeteria with Wes and David."
Logan started walking to that direction immediately. "Wait, Logan—wait!" Derek said, trying to grab him back but Logan pushed him off to the wall. Julian watched stonily, eyes never leaving the prefect, letting him storm off.
"What are you doing?" Derek hissed to Julian as he got back up. "He's clearly out of his mind and you go and tell him where Blaine is?"
"If he wants to scream at Blaine, let him." Julian had his arms crossed, eyes dark. "Let him get it out of his system. I'm tired of this. They should end it." Julian made to leave but Derek grabbed the back of his shirt.
"Oh no you don't," he glared at him. "You're going to see this through with me." And he dragged him along to go after Logan.
Kurt stormed down the halls, heart in his throat. Forget lunch, at this rate he was going to throw up. So many emotions were fighting their way through him that he was going to explode at any given moment and he didn't need any more public spectacles.
He decided to head for the hall early as there was likely no one present there yet. He had to get away from everyone and everything for just a moment, regroup and recollect himself. He didn't even know why he exploded on Logan that way in the hallway—it would never happen again.
He stopped at the doorway when he heard voices.
"…and I am this close to banning personal relations between club members." That was Harvey. Kurt gripped the wood panel of the doorway.
But Medel sounded gentle. "You know it's that, exactly—those relations… they make the raw emotion that we get to hear from them, the leads. The emotion that these boys have fuels their voices—if you ban their relations, they might just get depressed." She smiled. "Expressing oneself through song is always incredibly therapeutic and fulfilling, you know."
"But if Logan and Blaine keep this up…" Harvey sighed, shaking his head. "I told you before, Sylvia. I can't have another rerun of last year."
"You have to admit, in good times, the love songs were cute," Sylvia smirked a little. "I haven't quite seen Blaine so happy before and the way he and Kurt sing to each other…" Kurt blushed at this. Until, that is, Sylvia added, "And you should hear Kurt and Logan sing. There's this…melancholy that's so unusual. You can tell they're really singing from somewhere."
"It's that," Harvey said, frowning. "Logan and Blaine are…pulling at Kurt, from what I can tell. And the tension is like a powder keg and honestly, among them—I'm most worried about how Kurt is handling this."
"He's a little more…resilient than he looks," Sylvia said with a smile. "And I'm betting if he gets fed up, he'll burst out at them and he'll have every right to be."
Kurt smiled at this. Harvey just shook his head and sighed. "For all their sakes, I hope they get it together. For Regionals." He walked over to one of the shelves and Kurt ducked back for a moment to make sure he wasn't seen. When he peered in again, he saw Harvey holding out a sheaf of music sheets to Medel.
But there was a large red, long-stemmed rose on top of the sheaf. Kurt's eyes widened to the limit.
Medel looked embarrassed but she took it. "Greg…"
"All this Valentines on campus…I figured I'd get you something since the pile of gifts from your student admirers are rising."
Medel stood with a smile and leaned over to kiss him. Harvey held her arms as he kissed her back. Kurt stared, openmouthed. Harvey? And Medel? They had never even shown the Warblers the slightest hint of this. No one had seen the slightest hint of this.
There was a soft gasp behind him and Kurt whirled around and saw Reed standing there, wide-eyed and mouth open in utter shock, just like him. He looked like he was going to say something, but Kurt clapped a hand over his mouth and pulled him to the side. "Shh!"
Reed mumbled something behind Kurt's hand, but Harvey was talking again. He had his arms around Medel's waist, and she was looking up at him with a smile. "I suppose we both will be very busy for the fair," he said. "Shall I take you to an early Valentines' dinner later?"
"You take people out to dinner now?" Medel raised an eyebrow. "Because we've always just eaten in the cafeteria for dinners during school days."
Kurt nearly snorted. He didn't take Mr. Harvey for a cheap date. But the male director just laughed a little. "I promise it'll be somewhere nice." He leaned forward and kissed her again.
Kurt slowly released Reed and then looked at him with a grin. "Can you believe this?"
"No, I honestly can't," Reed blinked, stunned at the pair.
"Why not?" asked Kurt, smiling at the two directors. "I would've thought someone might've speculated. And they do make a pretty couple."
Reed gave Kurt a funny look. "Kurt… Mr. Harvey's married. And Ms. Medel has a fiancé."
Kurt lost his smile instantly. "What?"
Kurt turned back to the two directors, staring in shock. Oh my god, it's like Mr. Schuester all over again. Is there no choir director in Ohio able to stay married quietly?
"Are you sure…that this is a good idea, doing this here in the hall?" Medel suddenly asked, pulling away from his embrace. "The boys could walk in any minute…" she laughed, a little embarrassed, tucking a lock of her white-blond hair behind her ear.
Mr. Harvey glanced to the door—Kurt grabbed Reed to the side just in time—and then looked back at her and smiled a little. "No one's around."
"It's still…a little risky, you know." Medel looked uncomfortable. "You…this isn't really right, Greg, you know that."
Mr. Harvey looked intently at her. "I love you." He smiled faintly again, like someone who was sad, looking at something he couldn't really have. "…I love you, Sylvia."
Medel ducked her head, flushing a little, but at the same time she looked a little afraid. A long pause. A soft shivering sigh. "…I…I have something to tell you."
"Hopefully it's that you love me too," Harvey smiled a little bit more.
Medel stared at him for a moment, his form leaning against the piano casually, smiling at her. She clutched the rose she held, seemed to take a deep breath, swallowed…and stopped completely. She smiled. "…then, I love you too."
Harvey looked a little surprised, but he laughed. He moved towards her and gave her a kiss, which she returned.
Kurt frowned. Why did she stop? Was she trying to break up with him?
"Maybe she wants to break up," Reed whispered, echoing Kurt's thoughts.
"I don't know, she seems to enjoy being with him…" And then a click came into Kurt's face as all the pieces fell into place in his head. His eyes widened again, he grabbed Reed and pulled him away from the doorway and into the hall. "Kurt!" Reed hissed as his friend ran to the archways, clutching his chest like he was having a heart attack. "What is it?"
"I think I know what she was going to say," Kurt breathed, staring at him.
Reed stared back. "Well…? What?"
Kurt looked around, saw the coast was clear, and looked intently at Reed. "This morning…this morning, I saw Medel outside by the bushes. She looked nauseous, and she was throwing up."
Reed blinked, confused. "What does that have to—" He stopped and took on an expression of someone who got hit by a sledgehammer. "Oh…!"
"Oh holy Prada—"
"Uh-huh!" Kurt, eyes wide, was nodding wildly.
"She's pregnant?" Reed hissed in terror.
The way Wes and David were glowering at him was unsettling. They were in the cafeteria inhaling their lunches before Warbler practice.
Blaine glowered back at his two friends. "We just lost the prize warbler. Can we focus on that?"
"Kurt is going to duet with Reed when we get back for the Warblers' meeting," Wes told him. "And fine, they're cute, but they're not the kind of "romantic" duet for Valentines' day. And you just had a duet with Logan, and while you were both as good as you usually were, the I'm-going-to-strangle-you aura you both had is liable to make Medel and Harvey change their minds and swap you all out."
"Either of two things will happen then," David continued, making sure that Blaine was not getting away from the subject. "You end up with Kurt, and with the fight you just had, there will be grade-A awkward that will happen. At this rate, you're never going to be able to sing with each other properly, and then Harvey will really kill you guys."
"I think if we had to, we'd be able to get the personal stuff out of this," Blaine muttered.
"Seriously, Blaine?" Wes glared. "You and Logan weren't able to bring it out of the picture just an hour earlier—much less you and Kurt!"
"Second option: Kurt gets swapped out and ends up with Logan," David stated bluntly. "And from what the Twins told us Medel said, they were apparently fantastic together. And again—you lose. Both of you."
The two now stepped in front of Blaine, blocking his way. Blaine sighed and stopped. Wes said, "So it's either the two of you work this out, stat, or we're going to get even more convoluted than we already are."
"Look, we're not saying either one of you was right or wrong," said David, frowning at Blaine. "We're just saying that you could act like a real couple and talk this out."
"I spent the whole night wondering how that was even going to go," Blaine answered with a sigh, walking around David and resuming pace. "I thought it all out and I still don't know what to say."
"'I'm sorry for screaming at you' is a good start, I hear," Wes commented.
"Very funny. But Kurt has been avoiding me all morning. Even if I wanted to talk to him—"
"Whoa whoa," David frowned. "Even if you wanted to? So you don't want to?"
"I'm…still a little angry, maybe, yeah!" Blaine glared. "He's seen what Logan's like first hand. I've told him everything and he still—"
"Everything?" Wes now leveled his gaze at him. "Everything?"
Blaine stared at Wes for a moment, and then glared. Wes looked satisfied and leaned back. "That's what I thought."
The cafeteria doors burst open, knocking into some day students. But the wrath that filled the air was palpable and everyone looked up. Logan was crossing the room and the students moved out of his way—the three Windsors saw it too late.
Logan grabbed Blaine by the back of the jacket and pulled him up to him. "What the hell did you do to Kurt?" he demanded.
"Hey!" Wes shoved Logan off Blaine but Logan pushed Wes back, knocking him into David.
"Are you out of your mind?" Blaine yelled at him, aghast.
"What the hell did you do to Kurt?" Logan demanded again, grabbing him by the shirt.
"Do to him? I didn't do anything to him!" Blaine shot back as he tore away from him.
"You're a moron, Blaine!" Logan snarled, hands clawing the air in exasperation. "He's practically three feet away from me all the time we were with each other! My god, I knew you were slow, but I didn't think you were an idiot! Don't you get it? Yes, while I happen to be a complete asshole, and yes, given the chance I would take Kurt from you in a hot second, but Kurt has never done anything remotely worthy of whatever you accused him of!"
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"You told him he was cheating on you? Are you insane?"
"I never told him that!" Blaine shot back, hands turning cold. "I only said that he may have been leading you and your delusions on! And I'm right, aren't I? You're just waiting for the chance, making him think it was all okay and harmless!"
"So what if I am?"
"Hey, back off, Logan," David began, but Logan's rage seemed to give him strength. He hurled David back. "Stay out of this!" He turned back to Blaine, who narrowed his eyes at him. "I knew it. I knew that you just couldn't—"
"You know what, that's it." Logan towered over him furiously. "Kurt may have spent time with me with or without your knowledge but leading me on was never on the table. He keeps talking about how fucking perfect you are, and I'm the one with delusions of being able to steal him away you. It's not his fault if I'm the one hallucinating at having a chance when clearly there was none."
The last words dripped in spite. Wes wanted to steal into the conversation but it couldn't be done. There was just so much anger in it that it was only a matter of time…
Blaine swallowed, but held Logan's gaze.
"I swear, Blaine, if you'd seen the look on his face!" Logan glared. "Now you listen to me. You had something good, and I don't care if he proceeds to hate me, but I will not let you hurt him that way twice."
"Because you know, you've never hurt anyone before," Blaine said, voice dangerously soft. "Thank you, Logan, for openly becoming the hypocrite that you are—you're the reason for all of this! Because you just don't know when to stop! You always have to get what you want and wreck everyone in the way!"
Logan slugged him. The cafeteria exploded into action just as Blaine hit Logan back, sending the taller boy into the table. David and Wes threw themselves into the fray and Derek and Julian came bursting in. As it was, the four of them could barely hold both boys back. When Logan drew back his fist, he knocked his elbow into Julian and the actor fell—he shoved Derek off just as David's grip on Blaine's jacket slipped and Blaine broke free.
The cafeteria was in chaos. Kurt and Reed ran in, hearing the commotion, but past them bounded two golden blurs and they saw the Tweedles were pushing through the crowd.
Blaine threw himself at him, throwing him backward—Logan lost his bearing and hit a table, the boys on it evacuating. But Logan got up and swung at Blaine, hitting him right at the jaw and Blaine fell. Suddenly Derek was grabbing his arm again. Blaine was up and he lunged at Logan, all propriety gone and his eyes blazing. Blaine had completely lost it.
"Hey! Stop it!" The Tweedles dived between both boys—Evan pushing Blaine back, Ethan holding Logan back. "Stop it!"
"Let me go, Ethan!" Logan snarled.
"Move!" Blaine glared at Evan, but the taller boy held him down. "Let me go—he's had this coming!"
"Well so do you!" Logan roared.
"This coming from you?" Blaine shouted back.
"Blaine, stop it or you'll get suspended!" Evan snapped.
"Well tell him that—!"
"Don't even try to answer back, man," Ethan glowered at Logan, who looked infuriated.
"What the bloody hell is going on in here?"
Everyone looked up as Charlie and Justin shoved through the crowd, both looking livid with fury. The students gave way to the two prefects. Charlie shoved past Logan, glaring malevolently at him before turning to Blaine. "What the hell is wrong with you? Move!" Charlie pushed Evan back and grabbed Blaine by the arm.
"We've had it up to here with the both of you!" Justin said, looking uncharacteristically angry. "Especially you!" He turned to Logan with blazing eyes. "You're a bloody prefect for godssakes! You're a mess!"
"And so are you," Charlie snarled at Blaine.
"What—Charlie!" Blaine stared at him.
"No—we're not listening to this anymore!" Charlie snapped. "I don't give a rat's ass who started it." He nodded to Justin. "We're taking you both to Ramsey. Now."
"Charlie!" Reed gasped.
"They want to fight, they can fight in there!" Justin snarled. He grabbed Logan by the arm, but Logan shrugged him off angrily. Justin's eyes glinted. He grabbed Logan by the wrist and twisted it upward. Logan howled in pain. "Don't make me, Logan. I swear to you, do not."
Charlie jabbed a finger to Blaine's chest. "And you. I expected a whole lot more from you, Blaine."
Blaine was breathing hard—he looked completely rumpled, like Logan was—but he was calming down. He didn't struggle when Charlie took his arm and pulled him along.
The Tweedles made to follow, but Charlie glared at them in warning, and they stopped in their tracks. They looked angry, but said nothing. They looked at Blaine and Logan and just shook their heads.
As the crowd made way, Logan and Blaine saw Kurt standing with Reed, staring at them in shock.
"Good timing." Charlie glowered. "You're coming with us, Kurt."
"What?" Both Logan and Blaine exclaimed.
"Why?" Kurt stared.
"He's not involved!" Blaine protested.
"Yes he is, and you damn well know it." Justin nodded to Kurt. "Kurt. Ramsey's office. Don't think we didn't hear about that row in the hall with Logan. It's why we came in the first place."
Blaine looked at Logan in surprise, but Logan just looked more pissed off than ever—but more with himself. Kurt swallowed but made no protest. He handed his bag to Wes. The whole group departed the cafeteria amidst murmurs.
While outside, students jostled by the door to overhear, the inside of Dean Ramsey's office was silent as a tomb. Blaine, Logan and Kurt sat next to each other, facing her desk. Behind them stood Charlie, Justin, Howard, Murdoch—and Harvey and Medel.
The story had been a brief one, but thankfully it excluded most of the personal things that nobody was prepared to have aired out to the Dean of Discipline.
Ramsey had listened to all of it in silence, and was now contemplating, hands folded together. Finally, after a long pause, she looked at the three. "I suppose that everything that has to be said, has already been said."
The three didn't look at her. She nodded slowly. "Do you have anything to add, Mr. Anderson? Mr. Wright? And Mr. Hummel?"
"Are you sure? Because you seemed to be shouting your opinions quite loudly earlier."
Blaine closed his eyes tightly in a wince. But Logan was defiantly glaring at the wall. Kurt pressed his fingers to his temples.
"All of you have behaved against proper conduct in this campus." Ramsey looked them all over. "While it's true that this isn't our first row and it won't be the last, I should think that two of you would've at least learned from past experiences. Hm? Blaine? Logan? We meet again here in the same circumstances."
The fight last year… Kurt winced. Someone got expelled…
"What do I have to do to get the both of you to stop wrecking each other?" Ramsey asked. "Tell me, because it really eludes me."
"Dean Ramsey…" Harvey spoke, shaking his head. "This matter is… I know it's serious. But I'm asking you on behalf of my group to not expel Blaine and Logan and not to suspend Kurt."
Kurt blanched. He was going to get suspended for yelling in the hall? Burt was going to kill him!
"While yelling in the hall doesn't actually merit instant suspension, why should I not do that, Mr. Harvey?" Ramsey leaned back, questioningly. "After all, I've already expelled Logan once. And Blaine no longer has the self-defense card to play."
"What do you mean?" House Head Howard frowned. "Witnesses said that Logan threw the first punch!"
"And Blaine punched back, and kept attacking even after Logan was being pulled back," House Head Murdoch answered him coldly. "If anything, Blaine should have been suspended back then as well since he fought quite violently back!"
"Excuse me, but I seem to be the only one with the power to suspend or expel anyone here, so I'll be making that decision!" Ramsey frowned at the two teachers.
Kurt sank his head into his hands. Medel looked at Harvey. Harvey turned back to Ramsey. "Dean Ramsey. Please. You can't do this to them now. Blaine's already a junior. He'll be a senior next year and he'll graduate. And he's one of our best soloists. Goes the same for Logan. We're going to Regionals for the first time in years. We can't lose either one."
"Blatant disregard for proper sanction just because they've got pipes on them?" Murdoch asked, frowning at Harvey.
"Don't start with me, Bradley, you were part of the ones who did the work to get Logan back into school after he was kicked out—"
"It was at the request of US Senator John Logan Wright, Jr., Greg, and I did it because I found it unfair that one student should be expelled when the other gets off scott free!"
"Scott free?" Howard demanded.
"Enough!" Ramsey barked and the group silenced. Charlie and Justin looked at each other. So the teachers had their own squabbles. Good to know.
Ramsey looked as though she was considering carefully, but not what the teachers said. She was considering how the three boys sat. The three looked uncomfortable and apprehensive about the situation, but not with each other. Finally, she leaned forward. "If you boys have anything to say, say it now."
There was silence.
"…I threw the first punch. I provoked Blaine."
Everyone looked in surprise at Logan. He wasn't looking at Ramsey and was drumming his nails on the arm of the chair. He glanced down for a moment with a sigh. "I got angry…and I guess everyone knows my situation when I get angry. And I couldn't stop myself when I…when I confronted him and he said certain things to me."
"You realize that only proves that Blaine did trigger the fight with whatever he said," Ramsey said carefully.
"No. He didn't." Everyone looked at Kurt. He swallowed and looked at Ramsey. "Logan got mad…because I was yelling at him in the hall. I…pretty much got him started."
"But that was…because…" Blaine immediately said, looking at Ramsey as everyone now turned to him, "Because I accused Kurt of something. Something I…may or may not have jumped to conclusions on. That was…that was the fight we had that Charlie mentioned earlier."
Silence. The teachers stared at the three boys.
Ramsey considered them all. "So you're saying…that because Blaine and Kurt fought, Kurt fought with Logan who then fought Blaine."
There was an awkward nod from each.
"Well that's quite a bit of fighting, isn't it." Ramsey sat up and let out her breath, taking off her glasses to polish them a moment. "Look, boys. You have got to learn how to hold yourselves back. This behavior is unbecoming to you, your houses, your families, and the school in general. But why do I have to tell you this? Two of you have been prefects and Hummel here usually has good behavior. You all are presumably intelligent and responsible enough know that this—for lack of a better word—ridiculous."
She put them on again, and considered them. "But the fact that you attempt to take the fall for each other…is very mildly impressive."
Logan chewed his lip but said nothing, leaning back. Kurt glanced at Blaine. He met his eyes. They both turned away.
"So what'll it be, Liz?" asked Medel asked softly.
Ramsey looked at them, raised an eyebrow, and was terribly frank, more so than she usually was when students were around. "The truth? Well. If I expel Wright and Anderson, we lose two leads. At best I can give Hummel detention for the fight in the hall—the advantage of so far having a clean slate… And if Wright is expelled again, I'll have to hear from Senator Wright again and that is not one meeting I relish."
"Technically, I doubt my father would care this time…" Logan muttered to himself.
"I think my father will kill me." Kurt sighed.
"I think it's technically impossible to disown me twice, but my dad might set the precedent," Blaine muttered.
Ramsey sighed. "And the Warblers…need to go to Regionals. Does wonders for Alumni donations."
The teachers looked at each other.
Ramsey sat up and turned to the boys. "You're all stripped of your privileges for the Fair, for starters." Kurt looked up rapidly. "Yes, that's right. And I don't want any of you mounting that stage. None of you will be singing. You are on errand-duty all over the fair and Parents' Night. You'll work your pretty heads off while your schoolmates enjoy themselves."
Ramsey sighed. "Consider that community service. I won't be suspending any of you. I will, however, kick the whole lot of you out in a heartbeat, if this happens again. And no matter what your parents say, I will not take you back."
The three boys stared.
"Does…Logan get to stay prefect of Stuart House?" Kurt asked quietly.
"I'd strip him of that too, but the prefects are chosen by the students of the House, and teachers are hands off on the matter." Ramsey gave Logan a tight smile, however. "But if, after that disgraceful act, your dorm chooses to strip you of the title, it'll be to their discretion."
Logan looked as though he didn't want the title at all. Blaine just rolled his eyes. The Stuarts wouldn't take Logan off "prefect" duty. They were all too wrapped up in academics and their own insane extra-curriculars to add the prefect's job on. And Logan was the most highly-connected person in Stuart—they need his backing to cover up their clashes with Windsors.
"Now get out of my office. All three of you." Ramsey nodded to the prefects. Charlie and Justin looked at each other and led the other three boys out. As the door closed behind them, the teachers turned back to Ramsey.
"What—that's it?" Murdoch asked, frowning.
"Not that I'm not glad to have my students stay, but—that easy?" Howard frowned.
"Something happened this year that didn't happen last year." Ramsey fixed the papers on her desk.
"What?" Medel asked.
Ramsey smiled at them briefly. "As I said, they owned up to it and took the fall for each other. I found it mildly impressive. Considering that it took a year for Logan and Blaine to get it to work, and Kurt's presence to trigger it. Good progress. Would be a shame to ruin them now."
"You got lucky, all three of you," Harvey glared at the three boys outside the hall, where Warblers had gathered anxiously, awaiting the verdict. "I'm not sure what Ramsey was on about, but Blaine, Logan, you'd be expelled in a hot second if it was anyone else. And Kurt. You're cutting it close."
They nodded. Harvey glared. "I can't ban you for Regionals, that would ruin the point. But you're not singing for the Fair, and you're also not signing on Parents' Night. You sit, and watch your group perform. You will be audience."
Kurt winced. Harvey looked up, face solemn. "Three leads are gone. Evan, Ethan. You'll take their spots. Reed, you'll take the stage solo."
While the Tweedles immediately perked up, Reed blanched. Harvey stared hard at the three boys. "To practice, the rest of you. We're going on the stage already set up on the grounds. You three—there's no point in you going. So get to fair duty. I'll have the prefects keep an eye on you." He looked at Charlie and Justin, who acknowledged the instruction with a nod, and Harvey led the Warblers off, most of them looking in varying degrees of disappointment and sympathy to the three boys left behind.
"I'll handle these two chuckleheads, Hanover." Charlie told Justin as he glared at Logan, but he nodded somberly to Blaine, pressing a hand to his back to move him off. Justin took Kurt under his wing and led him off. But he could tell that Kurt was hesitating.
As Justin led him off, Kurt glanced back to where Blaine and Logan stood. Blaine was staring after him, and Kurt felt a little stung by the expression in his eyes and turned away. In spite of himself, he leaned against Justin. The Hanover prefect, who had his arm around his shoulders, sensed this and looked up. "Are you all right?"
Kurt felt tears stinging his eyes and he pressed his lips together into a firm, determined line. "…I'm fine." His voice cracked just slightly.
Justin sighed, decided not to point it out and patted his shoulder. He carefully led him out of the hallway.
Blaine watched Justin and Kurt leave, standing still and looking a little lost. Logan watched him stand there, and just lowered his eyes and shook his head. Blaine turned to Logan, and said after a moment, "Why'd you tell Ramsey that you threw the first punch?"
"Because I did." Logan answered, his green eyes looking greener than ever as he stared hard at him.
Charlie didn't look thrilled, but he stepped back for a moment and let them talk.
Logan lowered his gaze for a moment and said, "…and if you got expelled… Your dad would've gone ballistic." He sighed, glancing at Charlie a moment before adding to Blaine, "…and…there'd be no living with Kurt."
"Why do you care so much about him anyway…? You—you were never like this." Blaine looked confused and frustrated. "Ever. You weren't like this with me, or with—"
"Why are you asking me that question?" Logan answered, looking a little incredulous. "…you of all people would know what I see in him. …all the same things you do."
"What I meant…was what made him different." Blaine looked up at him. "From…before."
Logan stared at Blaine a moment, then turned to where Kurt vanished. After a while, he sighed. "…when I find out, I'll let you know." Logan looked at him. "…then you can knock it out of me." He sighed deeply. "…I'm so tired of being pushed back by him."
I'm so…ready…to give up. So show me how…
Blaine didn't answer, and for a minute, he thought he knew what Logan was thinking. Charlie laid his hand on Blaine's back and pushed him forward. "Let's go. I'm sure the guys back at Windsor will have something for you to do."
"I know you're supposed to keep an eye on me, Amos, but do you mind if I go back to Stuart and tell them what the hell just happened?" Logan asked. "So they can strip me of my title or…whatever it is they'll do? Because I think I still have explaining to do."
"Do what you have to, Stuart," Charlie eyed him somewhat coldly, but not entirely hostile. Logan was already walking away. "Nice of you to do something responsible for a change."
"Chaz…" Blaine gave him a look. "Give it a rest."
"This from you…?"
Blaine watched Logan go and just lowered his eyes. The truth was that he and Logan were alike in more ways than they would like, and that no matter what they did, they were connected and it would stay that way. No matter how hard they'd try to rub off that fact with words and actions and wrath, it was an indelible mark in their skin.
At best, they had to learn to live with that, and each other.
Charlie looked at Blaine's expression and said, "Hey. Chill out."
"How? Kurt and I are fighting, and I was proven wrong by my vicious ex boyfriend, who I'm starting to see I actually have things in common with. Kurt probably hates me right now."
"No, he doesn't." Charlie paused. "Hey on the upside…it can only get better from here."
Logan left the Stuart common room with dignity intact.
The Stuarts were, of course, not pleased about the incident in the cafeteria, and they had listened to the events that Logan said somewhat coldly, with very little reaction. He told them point blank about purposely bypassing his medication to be able to sing properly for the duel, the fight with Kurt (which they all already knew about) and the fight with Blaine (which they all also knew about) and Ramsey's decision (which was the only thing they didn't know about). Logan left them with the option to terminate his term as prefect, but didn't stay to listen to them talk about it.
He fled Stuart House, ignoring the looks that Derek and Julian gave him. He had to get out of that House, of the fact that Cupid seemed to have thrown up all over Dalton grounds with the sickening amount of paper hearts and Valentines décor all over the place, and he all but ran into South and Main. He didn't stop until he got to Warblers' Hall—where peace reigned the instant he shut the doors against the outside.
There was no décor in the hall, no light save for the glow of sunlight from the large windows. The piano sat untouched. All the Warblers were off on the stage on the grounds, so he was alone.
Just like the day he first met Kurt formally.
Logan took a deep breath of the empty air, wondering why Warblers' Hall always made everything different for him. His life kept taking a different turn because of something that happened in this hall, and maybe that was why he ran to it.
He was dying for some change in that silence.
He moved to the instrument racks, to the piano, and all the things that made music when played upon. At least they had purpose. He was still looking for his. He closed his eyes and tried to focus.
Everything had gone wrong. And now he'd lost Kurt just when things were starting to get better. Or maybe…he never really had him to begin with. He was, and always had been, in love with Blaine. It was his own hallucinations, imagining that maybe in some distant way, Kurt could love him. And maybe he did…just not the way Logan wanted him to.
He hadn't listened to anyone when they tried to warn him. He didn't listen to himself when he wanted himself to stop. It was too late to stop. He'd gone too far in.
And now everything was ruined.
I need to know if you were real
'Cause I've been known to get it wrong
When the memory comes
I'll say I'm always in the dark
You got me now…
He smiled bitterly to himself as he sang. It was all a run around. It always had been. He went after things he liked, he had to have them no matter what—and when they failed him, he ruined them.
He saw the look Kurt gave Blaine before he left with Justin. He wondered how it must've felt for Blaine, because to Logan it felt like everything smashed to pieces.
Was it worth seeing that?
I want to give you back
I want to give you back
Somewhere out of here
I want to give you…
I want to give you…
I want to give you back…
He looked out the windows, where students worked busily outdoors. To his surprise, he saw Kurt. He was carrying a tin of red paint, and Wes was with him, painting the jailbooth with him. He could see Wes trying to talk to him, get a smile out of him, but Kurt only smiled so faintly back. He painted the booth in silence.
Logan shook his head with a bitter smile. Who was he kidding…? This really was all his doing. He had wanted to break Kurt and Blaine apart, and he had gotten exactly what he wanted.
That person reflected slightly in the glass. He couldn't recognize him. He hadn't been able to for a long time. Imposed against the sight of Kurt outside, it was worse than ever.
I can't remember how it went
You looked like everything I wanted
And as you came along
Slowly everything began to change
I got you now…
I want to give you back…
I want to give you back…
Somewhere out of here…
He turned from the window, buried his head in his hands. That stupid metaphor those twins used all the time. Alice in Wonderland. That was where he'd been. Dreaming. All this time.
It was time to wake up. To wake up before it was all too late. Before everything became so much worse. Because way back then, he didn't care who he hurt as long as he got his way. But he gave a damn now. The shrinks might have said that he was getting "better", but they failed to tell him what it would cost to let go. Some people liked living in a lie.
Because reality cut too deep.
Just talking about it
I don't mind
I don't mind no I
Just dreaming about it…
Logan glanced to the window, eyes misting. Somewhere, outside, he had shattered the boy he wanted. And it just wasn't worth it.
It was time to wake up.
I need to know if you were real
I'd hate to think that I'd been fooled again
And as the vision fades
I'll say I was blinded by your eyes
I felt them burn…
He closed his eyes, lifting his head to the ceiling. And he let the tears fall for the first time in a long while.
Derek watched Logan from the doorway. Logan's back was turned, he didn't know he was there. He and Julian had gone looking for him, and Julian guessed correctly that he would be in the Hall. He was so engrossed with whatever he was thinking of that he didn't notice them open the door a fraction.
"What do you think is on his mind right now…?" he murmured.
Julian, leaning on the other side of the door, blinked slowly as he watched Logan. Julian's brown eyes were lit by sunlight and looking intense. Every other part of him was slighted by the sunbeams from the great windows of the hallway, so it looked as though only his eyes were present.
"Does it matter…?" Julian asked after letting out an endless breath. Empty. "He doesn't care what we think. He never has." He straightened up almost languorously, thumbs hooked to the pockets of his pants. His eyes were the last part of him to turn away from Logan, and he walked off into the hallway.
Derek tore his eyes away from Logan and looked at Julian with narrowed eyes. He gave Logan a last glance, closed the door silently and then followed after Julian.
"You know, I'm getting really tired of this Julian!" he called to him, irritated, the moment they found an empty corridor.
"Then leave it alone…" the actor responded, turning heel just a moment to give him a catty smile, and then he turned back as he continued to stroll down the corridor.
Derek felt himself grow a little angry. "So—so what? You're just going to plaster on a smile and disappear again? You're running away again?"
Julian stopped at the last words, but he didn't turn to look at Derek. "…and what would you know?"
"Plenty." Derek glared. "I'm not an idiot. And I'm not blind. I know that every time this would happen, you would run. Off to a shoot, a movie, an interview—disappear for weeks."
"Incidentally, did I tell you I accepted that offer?" Julian said, turning to him with a smirk, but his eyes remained cold and guarded. "That movie I told you about. Should get me out of school for a month or so."
"You said you weren't going to take it. And that stalker of yours was threatening you against taking on that role!"
"My stalker is my problem," Julian answered coolly. "Whoever it is just doesn't want to see me in a role where I get to marry someone else. Talk about obsession. Nothing I can't handle." He was going to leave again, but Derek growled impatiently and cut to the quick—
"Julian, you have to stop running every time you see Logan falling for someone else."
That stopped the actor cold.
Derek smirked a little, triumphant. He was right. He was right all along. "Come on, Julian. No witty comeback? You left when Blaine came into his life, you came back when he was done. You left again the second time he went for someone else. And you came back now that you thought it was quiet. And now that there's Kurt in the picture…"
"Are you going to just keep rattling on?" Julian finally turned to him, eyes glinting. "Tell the whole school already!"
Derek smirked at him, triumph in his eyes. "Do I even have to? You may be an award-winning actor or whatever, but you really really suck when it comes to pretending like you don't give a crap. Seriously."
Julian came striding back at him so intently that Derek lowered his arms as though to prepare for a swing that might come his way. But Julian only looked angry.
"You know what, Derek—you should really stop unloading the responsibility on me. You talk a big game as his friend but you—"
"Oh no." Derek glared. "You're not going to change the subject. You are not. You're not running away this time, Julian. It's been three damn years of you just staring and I refuse to stand by any more of this crap that you and Logan keep pulling out."
"His and my crap—separate things, by the way."
Julian's sneer was painful. "You just don't get it. Nothing is ever going to come out of it. If he had the slightest interest, he would've done something. You and I know him well enough to know that."
"Maybe it would help if you weren't such an ass around him all the time! You keep up scathing talk, insult him and you tell him you hate him—all to cover yourself up against him! That, and you tell everyone that you're straight!" Derek looked exasperated. "Of course he wouldn't think anything of you!"
Julian rolled his eyes. "Maybe it's my defense mechanism. You fail to answer my question. Who. Gives. A Rat's. Ass. Seriously. Because he certainly doesn't."
"He might if you tried."
"What would I get out of it? Nothing." Julian looked exasperated. "I tried both ways—I tried getting his attention, and then I tried to forget, went and dated girls and even risked it with some guys…" He groaned at the disbelieving expression of shock in Derek's face. "His eyes look past me like I'm not even there. It's happened three times! Passed up for someone better. All the time. I think it says something about the pointlessness, don't you?"
"I think it's saying man the hell up and make a move." Derek glared.
"Oh you are just a piece of work, aren't you—" Julian turned again and stared walking.
Derek went after him and grabbed his arm. "Is this why you've been leading Hummel to him, Julian? Why you've been "helping" him by giving him opportunities? It was you who led Kurt to him during practice with Medel. It was you who talk to Kurt in the hall. You're doing all this for him."
"I am." Julian smirked, painfully. "Because I can. For him. Sickening as it is to watch. And that's why I'm leaving."
"You can't keep running off to shoots whenever—"
"I meant permanently, Derek. I'm leaving Dalton Academy for good."
Derek stared. He and Julian may not get along all the time, but as far as things went in Stuart House, he, Logan and Julian were "friends" in that strange way. And now Julian was going to leave.
"You—you can't do that!" Derek retorted.
"I may not like you all the time, but I sure as hell don't want you to just bail out and give up!"
Julian almost laughed. He pulled his arm away. "I gave up a long time ago." He strode down the hall.
"That's BS, Julian!" Derek yelled back. "If you did, why do you even come back?"
But Julian just vanished to anther hall. Derek ran a hand through his hair shakily. This was a mess. It really was. What was he supposed to do? With Logan breaking down, and with Julian fleeing the fire, what was he supposed to do? He shakily turned back to the Hall. He had to at least get Logan back to his bearings first.
As he left the hall, Bailey stepped out of the supply closet where he was getting some materials for a fair booth. He heard everything that went on and he felt his heart pounding. As soon as the coast was clear, he ran to go outside.
Kurt was ready to collapse by the time evening fell. He trudged towards Windsor streaked completely in paint and he loathed it. The Windsors knew about what he'd been sentenced to and were kind enough to give Kurt one simple task for the rest of the afternoon—help them paint everything. Of course that meant a riot of red, white and pink all over the place.
By the time night fell, Charlie had told him that the cleaning people had finished cleaning up the chaos of Windsor house, and now it was safe to come inside, though the kitchen would remain off limits until the next day. Charlie had to face the whining Tweedles who wanted cookies, but there wasn't anything they could really do about it.
Kurt was a mess and he knew it—he wanted get cleaned up and fall asleep. He was almost to Windsor when Reed skipped over to him. "Hey, Kurt!"
"Are you okay? You look the way I did during my "red" phase." Reed stared, taking one of the paint pots from Kurt, but Kurt pulled back. "No…you're exempt from any and all fair work."
Reed looked guilty. "Come on, just let me. You've had a rough day."
Kurt eyed him begrudgingly as he let Reed take the can of paint. "How was practice?"
"Scary…" Reed mumbled. "There's a lot of pressure on me now. I've got a solo. The Tweedles did fantastically, but that's expected. Medel just kept telling me, 'don't look so scared!' And I wanted to tell her, 'how?' I'm performing in front of the whole crowd!"
"You've done it before."
"But never solo."
"Point taken… You'll be fine." Kurt sighed. "At least you'll have Shane for emotional—" he stopped at the crestfallen look on Reed's face. "…no. You mean he still hasn't answered?"
Reed just shrugged unhappily. "Maybe he just doesn't want to go."
"Maybe he can't go. He was injured. You know that guy, he's crazy about you." Kurt ducked Reed's swat casually—Reed tripped right over when he missed. "He probably just doesn't want to let you down."
"Well…" Reed mumbled as he got up, brushing himself off. "Breaking news—I'm down."
Kurt sighed, rolling his eyes as they went up the steps of Windsor. "These Andersons are killing us. It would be so nice if something made sense for a change."
They entered Windsor to find Dwight in the foyer, his back facing them. He turned to look at them and his face split into the biggest, smug smile they'd ever seen from him. "Ah. Just in time. Behold, my spectacular achievement." He turned fully to them, and when they saw what he had in his hands, Kurt and Reed dropped their paint cans in shock.
It was the gold cage. And inside, was Pavarotti.
"Dwight!" Reed gasped in delight. "How—?"
Kurt went up to him and stared at the cage. That was definitely Pavarotti. And… Kurt stared. "Wait. Is that my scarf in there with him?"
Dwight grinned. "Yes."
"You used my scarf as nest lining?" Kurt lunged at him.
"Whoa!" Dwight held the cage up like a shield—and it was a particularly effective one. "Easy! Look. This is how I saw it. This bird? It keeps following you. I mean sure he likes to swoop around all over Windsor, but he often follows where you go."
Reed blinked. "Well…that's kind of true. Pavarotti follows you when you go upstairs. And wasn't he in the room with you and Blaine before?"
"Anyway," Dwight grinned at the cage. "I figured, I should bait him with something of yours. I don't know, maybe he likes the colors or whatever—but I got your scarf and turned it into a little nest on the ceiling beams."
"The ceiling beams?" Kurt stared at him incredulously. "What are you, a ninja? How did you get up there?"
Dwight looked insulted. "Kurt, please. As a hunter, I have to know access points to every part of the House." He paused. "Also, I…had to go up there a couple of times while I was making sure that every inch of this House is properly protected. But that's not the point!" he burst out when he saw the expression of incredulity in Kurt's face. "My point is, I made a nest, and every chance I got, I tried to make him fly up there. And just like I expected, he made himself comfortable in it. Then it was just a matter of going up there and sneaking up on him while he was asleep."
"It's a wonder you didn't crush him…" Reed murmured in amazement as he peered into the cage, and then gave Dwight a big hug. "You're great!"
Kurt grinned and did the same. "All right, fine. You're the hero. Again."
Dwight clearly was trying not to look incredibly pleased, so he just rolled his eyes. "I can't keep saving the day all the time here, you know. Take care of yourselves, will you?"
Reed scoffed in disbelief, but grinned. Kurt smirked and took the cage from him, leaning forward with narrowed eyes. "Don't push it." And he went upstairs. Reed laughed at the sophomore, following. "Thanks, Dwight. We owe you big time."
"You owe me each time you wake up un-possessed by demons and un-mauled by undead."
Reed stared. "Uh…how about a cookie?"
Dwight held himself down with great effort for a full minute. "Yeah, okay."
The two others headed upstairs, straight into Kurt and Reed's dorm room where Kurt always kept a tin of cookies or two in the event of an emergency—he didn't understand either, but having the cookies handy had proven useful in Windsor for more than one occasion, mainly used for calming people down.
Kurt stopped in the hall, staring at Blaine's door. He wondered if he'd gotten back yet—it was already dark out but Blaine's room seemed empty. Reed, who stood at the door of their room, smiled a little and took the cage from Kurt's hands. "Do you…want to wait a little?"
Kurt glanced at him and smiled faintly. "No. No, I…" but he didn't move, and glanced back at the door.
At the expression on his friend's face, Reed smiled gently. "You didn't mean to lead him on…Logan, I mean. And…Blaine's just been through some pretty rough times. We can only do our best, right?"
This made Kurt look at him for a moment. "You have that much confidence in me?"
"You have a lot more confidence than I do," Reed said with a smile. "You go out and do what you feel is right. Me, I always worry about consequences. But you know, for what it's worth…I think you and Blaine needed this a little. Get it…out of the way or so to speak."
"And…what if we can't fix this? I mean…he doesn't trust me, and I must've broken his heart…" Kurt shook his head. "I've seen this a hundred times back in my old school—I think I know how the story ends."
Reed now smiled. "…you have that little confidence in him?"
Kurt stared at him in surprise for a moment, and smiled a little in return. "Then take your own advice. For Shane."
"Yeah. These Andersons are killing us." Reed, still smiling knowingly, just went into their room as Kurt turned back to Blaine's door, standing cold and dark.
It wasn't going to be easy at all. He'd always had a lot of pride, and people called him a diva, and he was proud of that. He liked standing by what he believed in. And for a while, he believed that he had been right in the argument.
But when evidence pointed to the contrary, and if he had to be utterly honest with himself:
Didn't he know that this could have happened?
Kurt leaned back on the hallway wall and sighed deeply, staring at the ceiling. This was a miserable way to spend the day before the fair. He knew he hated Valentines' Day for a reason. And this year more than ever. After the fight in the cafeteria, nearly getting expelled…now wasn't the time to talk to him. Maybe he would try, maybe he wouldn't. He didn't know if he even could bring himself to.
But that loneliness…even in a hall full of boys in dorm rooms…with all the others milling about downstairs, upstairs, and outside. He felt alone in the silence of this hall.
It was so silly to feel alone, when everything continued to carry on as though none of this mattered. It didn't matter. To the rest of the world, it was nothing. The Warblers would sing with or without him and Blaine, the Fair would go on, people would come and go—
—but he didn't know what he would really be doing. If he could even face Blaine by tomorrow.
Kurt sighed deeply and closed his eyes, smiling bitterly. We were supposed to sing together.
How did that song go…?
Without you, the ground thaws, the rain falls, the grass grows.
Without you, the seeds root, the flowers bloom, the children play.
The stars gleam, the poets dream, the eagles fly, without you.
The earth turns, the sun burns, but I die, without you.
He stood up and walked to the door as he sang, wondering if he should try and lift the latch. But there was no one there. What would be the point?
He laughed hollowly to himself. Who gets to say sorry first? Who was willing to break down pride—when neither of them could even look at each other for long? Were they even sorry?
As fast as they rose, they fell as quickly.
Kurt almost laughed at himself. So melodramatic. So embarrassing. It was just a stupid fight anyway.
Without you, the breeze warms, the girl smiles, the cloud moves.
Without you, the tides change, the boys run, the oceans crash…
Why did his chest close tight—cutting breath down? Why was he swallowing the lump in his throat and why did his eyes sting? If it didn't matter…if none of it mattered, if he could survive this—because he was so sure he was right…why does he crumple inside a little? Why did he keep his hand on the door? Why did he think he did it—that he was the one who made the mistake, when all the rest of him screamed no?
Why did he care so much?
He pulled away from the door, and turned to his room, taking a shaking breath as he pushed his door open, and closing it behind him.
The crowds roar, the days soar, the babies cry, without you.
The moon glows, the river flows, but I die, without you…
And from the steps of Windsor, Blaine finally returned from his own errands, tired to death, physically and emotionally—oblivious to the fact that the song Kurt sang was also the on his mind. The world revives…
Kurt closed his eyes. Colors renew…
And together they sang a song to each other without knowing it.
But I know blue, only blue, lonely blue, within me blue…
Kurt leaned back on his door, exhaling as though he wished it could push all of it away.
Without you… Without you, the hand gropes, the ear hears, the pulse beats…
Blaine pushed his own door open and stared into the empty dark. He glanced back to Kurt's door, wondering if he should. If he could. He took two steps toward the door and stopped—when he remembered how Kurt looked at him.
Without you, the eyes gaze, the legs walk, the lungs breathe…
Blaine and Kurt took their breaths as though willing themselves to feel the other's, the way they always did when they held each other—seeking comfort in the one place they had always been able to, and now cannot bring themselves to ask for.
The mind churns! (The mind churns!)
The heart yearns! (The heart yearns!)
The tears dry, without you.
Life goes on, but I'm gone.
Cause I die, without you…
Blaine closed the door to his room, not even bothering to turn on the light. He simply walked to his bed and sat down, burying his face in his hands as he tried to collect himself.
Kurt lay on his bed, staring into nothing. He didn't say anything to Reed, who looked down at him in sympathy and pulled the cover over him, patting his shoulder. Dwight looked on, not really sure what to do.
Silence fell in the room Kurt and Reed shared, with the painter sitting quietly at the side of Kurt's bed and gently patting his friend in comfort. Dwight, who had been standing at the side, watching all of this without expression, pulled out his phone when it vibrated.
Knight, we know you're up there. Come downstairs and report ongoings ASAP! – E&E
Dwight rolled his eyes. It was not part of his destiny to become a gossip source. Another message came.
Also, bring the cookies you're eating. – E&E
Dwight choked on the bite he was eating. How did they always know? He snapped his phone closed and looked at Reed with a deadpan expression. "Twins are calling."
"Go on, I'll stay," Reed answered. Dwight picked up the cookies with a sigh and walked to the door. He stopped and glanced back at Reed, looking supremely awkward as he glanced over Kurt. "Is…he going to be okay? Because… this is a lot of bad vibe and I'm not comfortable existing in this kind of atmosphere. The negativity attracts all sorts of malignant—"
Reed gave him a look. Dwight rolled his eyes and sighed again. "Fine. I'm worried, is that what you want to hear? I'm worried about him and Blaine and their torrid love affair and their screaming, and the fights in the hall and the cafeteria, and the almost-expulsion and most of all, I'm worried they'll break up permanently because of the exact same demonspawn that ruined it all last year!"
Reed was smiling by the end of the breathless, frantic statement. Dwight turned crimson and glowered at him. "Don't say it."
"I think it's sweet that you care!" Reed exclaimed with a grin.
"…he's still my friend."
"Mm." Reed smiled happily.
"I told you not to say it…" Dwight quickly fled the room, head ducked and cheeks still red.
Reed turned to Kurt on the bed and smiled, patting his friend. Tomorrow was another day. Who knew—maybe things would turn out okay if they all gave it one more try.
It was Valentines' Day, after all—the time to lay it all on the line.
On the final part of the Valentines Arc - Showdown: Valentines Day is the time to lay it all down on the line. The Fair comes to full swing, and intruders are encroaching on turf. It was time to take a few more risks, shake the school down, and pray desperately that things simply fall into place...all before the fireworks go off.