Bonham stared at James as if he had grown an extra head.

"What did ye say?"

"I said we are going to kidnap the Major and bring him here! We don't have much time! Come on!" James said tugging on Bonham's arm, but he didn't budge.

"Have ye gone nutters James? Ye just said that ye didn't want the Major here!"

"Yes that was before, I don't have time to explain. Just think about how happy the Earl will be when he sees the Major first thing in the morning!"

Bonham thought about it for a moment. It would be nice, especially since the Earl was nice enough to give them each gifts, expensive ones at that. He could just see the blonde now waking up and finding the Major under the tree.

"Alright, let's go then."


The crew was gathered together with the help of Bonham and they son found themselves outside of the Major's household. The manor was dark but they each knew that it was only a matter of time before the German soilder got up.

"All right, does everyone know the plan?"

They all nodded in unison and got to work. Three men climbed nearby trees and climbed to the roof. They carefully sent down sleeping gas through the chimney. There the gas would spread through the house, never waking any of the occupants.

After a ten minutes, they gave the signal to James, signaling that it was all right to start with Operation Christmas Gift. Bonham and James signaled to the others to pick the front door locks. The deed was done and they found themselves in the Major's room, no problem.

However, there was a significant question. Who was going to try to grab him first?

"What if the Major's pretending to sleep?" One of the men muttered to James, clearly afraid that the man was indeed pretending. It wouldn't be the first time.

"James should do it! He thought of this idea in the first place!" A man named Johnathan hissed at the others.

"I'm not doing it! He always hits me!" James whined softly.

"I'll do it." Bonham said relucatantly. He was tired of the other's bickering and knew that if the Major was indeed asleep, he would have certainly woken up from whispers.

Slowly and carefully, Bonham inched his way forward and reached out a hand. He was mere centimeters away from the Major's sleeping face when a hand shot up and grabbed his. Two angry green eyes opened.

"You're damned right I'm awake!" The German yelled starting to sit up.

He took a quick look around and established that all of Eroica's men were there. "I don't know what that idiot is up to, but he had better-"

The Major never finished his sentece though. One smart man had brought chloroform and had the decency to silence the Major while he was distracted. They all stared at the man that had slumped forward apprehensively.

"Is he asleep now?"

Bonham nodded.

"How do you know Bonham?" James inquired.

"Because 'e let go of my hand." Bonham stated now nursing his sore hand.


The mission was a success. Just as they put the Major on board the Eroica blimp, a black car had pulled up. Evidently, the Major's would be killers had just arrived. But thanks to James' intervention, Klaus would be spared one more Christmas.

"Bloody 'ell he's one heavy bloke." Bonham commented when they had finally hefted the Major onboard.

"Yeah, but he'll be worth it in the end." James said.

All of the others were aware of the changes in James and each became a little wary of him. But either way, they figured that it was because he was trying to get ack into the Earl's good graces. They each remembered the fight between the two.

"Maybe James has a heart after all."

"Or maybe he's gonna cut our pay again!"

"Maybe the fight was just a cover so that James could give the Earl a better Christmas."

The talking never ceased even as they tied the Major up from head to toe. None of them were taking a chance. Even tied, the Major was a dangerous man. As an even extra precaution, they decided to take turns watching him, and if he awoke to early, they would give him a small whiff of sleeping gas.

Bonham took over as the last watch and shook his head at the sleeping Major.

"Major, just please don't kill any one when you wake up."


The alarm clock sounded in Dorian's room. He lazily shut it off and pulled himself from the bed.

'Ah,Christmas is here. Shall, I dress in robes? Yes why not? It feels like a flowing day.'

Those were the first thoughts that entered the blonde's head. He believed that one should always look good, no matter what the situation.

"Let's see, I think the white with red and gold over the top will do."

Seeing as the day was the day for lounging around, he really wasn't bothered about pants. Just flowing silks today. The Earl finished dressing and looked over at his phone thoughtfully. He debated on whether or not to give the german a call.

'No, he'll probably just yell at me again. I'll call later.'

Dorian gave himself a quick look over and deemed himsef worthy of appearance before he opened his door. A white envelope fluttered to the floor as it was released from its place wedged between the door.

"What on earth?"

Dorian picked it up and saw James slightly untidy scrawl on it. He opened it up.

Earl,

I felt really bad about being stingy yesterday and on Christmas. I hope that you'll forgive me when you recieve my gift. It's down stairs in the dining hall.

James

Dorian was unbelieveably puzzled. What on earth would James have given him that would be in the dining room?

The smell of food suddenly hit his nose and he recognized some of the odors. There was bacon, eggs, what smelled like burnt toast, and..

'Is that fried potatoes? I don't eat them that much.'

Shrugging to himself, Dorian decided to find out what James could have give him as a present.


Dorian walked into the dining room and looked on the table. The room was big enough to serve several people a banquet which is what was going to happen later. There was real silverware on the table, festively decorated with garland and small table wreaths. The white candles in thier silver holders would be lit later when the big feast arrived.

At first Dorian looked at the table, wondering if James had put it on the table. The long table held nothing, and Dorian looked up from the front end of it and jumped slightly when he heard what sounded like a muffled groan.

He saw a body tied up in a chair at the far end of the table. Dorian Whoever it was was tied up tightly and had a green ribbon adorning his middle. Shoulder length black hair hung in front of the man's face.

'Is it? Could it be?'

Dorian didn't even give a moments hesitation before running over to the figure in the chair. This caused the man to look up at his captor.

It was the Major! Just like the Earl wanted!

'The Major is here! Tied up and defenceless! In my home! Oh, thank you James!'

"I guess I was a good boy if saint Nick left me you."

"Hhnnnmmmffff!"

"Oh, and he gagged you at the same time! Wonderful. Just sit right there and don't move. I'll be right back." Dorian giggled at his own joke.

The other however gave a frustrated muffled yell.


"James are you in there?" Dorian called through James' door.

The door swung open giving the blonde a small fright. "Happy Christmas Earl!"

"I should be saying that to you James dear. But how on earth did you manage to get him?"

James looked sheepish. "The others helped. Escpecially Bonham."

The Earl nodded thoughtfully. "Well, whatever the case, Happy Christmas James." And with that he gave the small man a quick kiss on the lips before leaving. He could still hear the other man squealing like a little school girl.


"I'm back Major."

The Earl's announcement was answered by a thud. Apparently the Major had the idea that he could try to reach the knife at the end on the table closest to the Earl. It must have been a huge achievement because he had traveled half way up the room with his legs and arms tied.

"Oh, Major. I would like to untie you, but I know that I probably would be dead by the time I finished."

"Hnnhhmmppp hhnn.'

Dorian considered his options carefully. "Major, I'll remove the gag if you promise not to yell until I'm done explaining what happened. Does that sound fair?"

It took perhaps two mintues before Klaus was calm enough to nod in agreement. Dorian removed the cloth from his mouth, waiting for the explosion. But surprisingly, it never came.

"First of all, I was going to just leave you be. Second of all your kidnapping was done by my men without my knowing."

"In other words they just broke into my house, woke me up, and kidnapped me."

"Precisely."

"And they did this all on thier own did they? And who organized the operation? I know that more than half of them are terrified of me and the others are to stupid to think of a heist all by themselves. So, I ask did you organize them to do this?"

"I just said it was without my knowing! We talked about kidnapping you but I didn't think that they would acturally do it!"

Klaus could feel himself about to snap. "Then who did it? Who organized it all?"

"James did."

That did it. "You stingy bug! When I find you your're dead! You son of a-"


Christmas dinner was served at five. Every present was opened, even the Major's which turned out to be a real Walther P38 from Germany in World War II. He seemed pretty happy with this saying that it was the first gun he had ever used.

On the whole, he spent the entire time tied up. And refused breakfast. He was not going to be fed like a child!

"Oh, come now Major. This will be the only way. None of us trust you enough to untie you."

"So, I'm to sit here tied up? And what if I did come of my own free will? Would you have tied me up still?"

"I'm afraid not. But the dinner will get cold if you don't."

"I'll starve before I'm fed by a wanker like you!"

The others sensed that a shouting match was about to go off and they quickly left the room. James was the fastest because the Major spent the evening staring at the accountant like he was secretly plotting something sinister and terrible.

"And here I thought you would have liked to have a Christmas away from NATO!"

"No I wouldn't! The world of spies doens't sleep!"

"I'll bet Mischa does! I'll bet he celebrates!"

"Then chase after him! Leave me alone you faggot!"

That was it! Dorian climbed on top of the Major's lap.

"Get off me! Don't you dare touch me you-"

Just as he opened his mouth Dorian was quick and shoved a forkful of mashed potatoes down Klaus's throat, causing him to choke a little.

"See? That wasn't so bad. There's no one here. So they don't have to see."

Klaus gave this a thought. He was hungry, he hadn't eaten anything that day and considered the idea.

"If you tell anyone I swear-"

"I know I know. You'll find the worst way to kill me."


As night fell, and Christmas came to a close, the Earl placed a call to the butler at Eberbach's resident.

"Is the master all right?"

"Yes, he's fine Herr Hinkel. We just decided to get him into a Christmas spirit."

"Oh, thank god! I thought that he might have been killed or something."

Dorian was puzzled. Is that why the butler seemed panicky when he first picked up the phone?

"Why would you think that?"

"Well, this morning at nine, a car pulled into our drive. I immediately alerted the headquarters of Bonn, just as the master ordered. Two men were in the car and were apprehended. Apparently, they are neo nazis that wanted revenge on the master for something he did. They were going to kill him! I'm just glad that you got him beore they did!"

The rest of the conversation was lost unto the Earl. He was so shocked that his Major would have been killed if James hadn't intervened. He couldn't even bare the thought that his precious Major was about to become a body bag.

"Are you still there? Hello?"

"I'm sorry I was distracted. Listen, I must hang up now."

The exchange was done and the Earl now had something interesting to tell the Major. Or at least lengthen James' life span for a little while longer.


"I guess I can't be to angry at the stingy bug, huh?"

Dorian had told the entire story to Klaus. "Yes. You should probably thank him. He did save your life."

"I'll thank him later." Klaus said, trying to shift a little.

"Are they painful Major?"

"What do you think? They aren't exactlly comfortable."

Dorian sighed. "If I untie you will you promise not to hurt anyone?"

"Well, I do owe the bug a favor. So I won't kill him right away."

The Earl took that as a yes. He knew the major would never agree to anything. "All right then."

Moments later the ropes were undone and the Major was standing, stretching out all of his muscles that had been cramped. Dorian tensed a little. Almost as if he was prepared to capture Klaus if he chose to run.

He didn't. In fact he seemed to be perfectly content on walking around. "I don't suppose they were nice enough as to steal my cigarettes."

"No, but I have them anyway. I stole them a while ago."

"When!"

"Oh, on one of your missions or something like that."

The Earl left the Major to grumble to himself. Something about thieves and him no doubt. Dorian sighed. If only the Major weren't so dead set on opposing him all the time, then he'd show the German a really good time.

'Although, it wouldn't be the Major if he were to suddenly give in. On a happier note, I got him to eat out of my hand!' Dorian thought excitedly. For the Major to eat out of his hand was like a small victory. A rather hard earned victory.

Humming a random Christmas carol to himself, Dorian set off to his bedroom to get the cigarettes he secretly lit when he hadn't seen the Major in a while.


The next fifteen minutes were not so good. It took only fifteen minutes for the Major to disappear. The men confirmed that they hadn't seen him leave and that he was somewhere in the castle.

It then took another ten minutes to locate him on a small balconey. This time fully dressed in suit and tie.

"Where did you go!" Dorian shouted slightly out of air from all of the running around.

"One of your men was kind enough to steal some of my clothes. Although it's rather disturbing, I don't feel like standing around in my nightclothes."

Dorian felt relieved. The man hadn't left. Relaxing a little he handed Klaus the cigarettes and a lighter. Klaus grunted a small thanks before lighting it and taking a few puffs. Dorian smiled and let his attention wander to the scenery before him. They were currently on the small balconey that over looked a beautiful garden. It wasn't to high up, at least seven feet was it's maximum height. The blooms would be radiant in the spring but for now, they were covered in snow. The full moon above gave everything an ethereal glow.

But most of all, his eyes wandered over to the German next to him. The moon gave his face a softer, more peaceful look. His raven hair stood out more and Dorian wished that he could have a painting done just for him to keep.

"It's nice outside tonight, ja?"

It took maybe a full minute for Dorian to realize that the Major was talking to him. "Yeah, it really is beautiful tonight."

It was quiet for a moment and then Klaus spoke. "So, why were you so desperate for me to come here?"

Dorian thought about it for moment. "I just wanted you to celebrate Christmas. You know, as you would have with family and friends."

"I see. So kidnapping people is part of it too hm?"

"I just told you that that was-"

"I know, I know. It was the bug's idea."

A few more seconds of silence, and then, "Major, how come you don't celebrate Christmas?"

Klaus thought about the times when he was a child. His parents celebrated it when he was small, and then when she passed, he was at boarding school. But, the thief didn't need to know of his past.

He shrugged. "I'm just not into it."

Dorian sensed that there was something more to this story but decided not to press the German. He didn't want the man's temper to rise and ruin the moment.

"And just to think that if you weren't here right now, you'd be dead."

He saw the Major visably flinch as he thought of that. Yes, right now he would be buried six feet underground if it hadn't been for his kidnapping. The thought made him shutter and he mentally noted that he would have to tighten security. And give the butler a bonus for calling the police. And give into some kind of demand from the thief beside him.

"What do you want?"

Dorian snapped out of his daydream. He was just fantasizing the Major was an angel coming from above to reward him for saving the works of art that had been created from the days of old. And that his reward was Klaus to be with him for all eternity, allowing him to be victorious in everything he endevored.

"I'm sorry, what was that?"

Klaus grunted in annoyance, "I asked what do you want? It's obvious that you are going to hold this over my head for as long as you live."

"But I wasn't the one who saved you. It was James."

"He's easy. I'll give him two hundred pounds for my life. You on the other hand will lord over things. Such as making me eat from your hand and that your men were able to over power me. You'll never let me forget and you'll hold it above my head to get what you want. You know it and I know it."

Dorian nodded thoughtfully. He knew that this could entitle him to anything he wanted. Anything at all! But, he knew there were limits. He knew that by Klaus's standards, the price would have to be small, nothing perverted, and nothing to extravagent. The thief thought it over for a minute before coming up with something.

"All right, you got me. Here are my demands. First of all, you must promise that you'll at least visit us at every Easter, Halloween, and Christmas."

"Provided I am not on mission." Klaus interjected.

"And I will confirm if you really are or not. And secondly, I want a kiss."

Klaus flung himself as far away from the blonde as he could. "What! Wait a minute! I didn't say that I would do any of that you foppish queer!"

"But you said that I could demand anything!"

"No I didn't! You just decided that on your own!"

"I will tell everyone at intelligence! I will even tell Mischa that you ate from my hand!"

Dorian quieted down. As soon as he said Mischa he could practically see his mental cogs at work. He knew that Klaus could take the banter at NATO because everyone there feared him. However to let his mortal enemy know would kill the man. Klaus would rather die then let his enemy know any kind of weaknesses.

"Fine, but you have to close your eyes."

Dorian could hardly believe it! He was finally going to get that kiss he desired so much! The very kiss he chased after in his sleep! Dorian did as he was told and closed his eyes. Waiting for the feel of warm lips against his. Maybe he even had a cigarette after taste. He could hear the other stomp on the cigarette butt, the crunching noise singaling his kiss was not to far from him.

He waited for what seemed like forever when he felt a small peck of a mock kiss on the side of his face. And then there was a whoosh! and a small thump sound.

"What are-"

The Major was gone. Dorian looked down over the balconey and spotted a black sillouette running at high speed.

"Major get back here! You're going to catch your death out here! And I demand a real kiss not some peck on the cheek!"

But Klaus was to far away to hear him. And even if he did, he ignored him.

Dorian sighed and went inside. And then a sudden realization made him feel alive with energy. The Major had kissed his cheek! The Major had acturally given him a kiss without to much coaxing!

"Is the Major still 'ere me lord?"

Bonham had seen the Earl come in with the biggest smile he had ever seen. He looked like he had just stolen a whole museum with that smile.

"No, I'm afraid not. But he'll probably be back. After all, he doesn't have anywhere to go."

"Uuumm...Acturally me lord, he phoned agent Z to get 'im. I didn't see any harm in it so..."

Dorian closed his eyes and sighed, still smiling. "That's fine then. I'm sure his men will come to his rescue."

It was silent for the moment and then Bonham decided to speak. "So, what shall we do with the Major's nightclothes? Should we send them back to him?"

"No. I'll take them."


That Christmas was a memorable one indeed for everyone. It was the time when James had learned the true meaning of Christmas and even opened his heart to others. He wasn't as stingy since that day. He had even began to become a little more giving.

Klaus had gotten home thanks to the help of agents Z, G, A, and B. He absolutely dreaded the next few holidays and hoped that they were times when he was on mission. And he also went through an entire tube of toothpaste to fend off "that homo's germs."

And as for Dorian. He got to see his beloved Major more often. He soon began to expand the hoilday list onto things like New Years, Valentine's Day, and even for Oktoberfest. And as a bonus, he had the Major's nightclothes to cuddle with at night.

So, Merry Christmas from Eroica With Love. And God bless us everyone!