Title: Z is for Zoo

Prompt by evil_killer_cat

Author: Kuria Dalmatia

Rating/Warnings: R (profanity, sexual situations)

Characters/Pairing: Rossi/Reid, established relationship

Summary: Reid is a panda bear. But what most people fail to remember is that a panda is a still a bear.

ARCHIVING: my LJ... anyone else? Please ask first.

COMMENTS: Part of the The Great A-Z Multifandom Drabbling Meme. Unbetaed.

Feedback always welcome.

DISCLAIMER: The Mark Gordon Company, ABC Studios and CBS Paramount Network Television own Criminal Minds. Salut! I just took them out to play and I promise put them back when I'm done. I'm not making any profit just trying to get these images out of my head.


The first time Dave's mind makes the comparison, he shakes his head and laughs at himself. The second time? It's quite the sobering thought. Reid is a panda bear.

A big, cute, cuddly mass of black and white fur that everyone in the zoo oohs and aahs over because a panda is so fucking adorable and wouldn't it be awesome to have one as a pet? But what most people fail to remember is that a panda is a still a bear. A big goddamn bear. A big goddamn bear that, when pissed off, will react just like any other animal with teeth and claws. Perhaps Morgan says it best: "He will fuck your shit up something bad."

It's exactly what Reid is doing to their UnSub right now. Not with teeth and claws. No. Reid's not the type to get his hands dirty with physical violence unless he has to. Right now? Reid's shredding the UnSub's overblown ego with his razor sharp observations. Reid sits there and explains just how unimaginative the UnSub's crimes are. He lists the other serial killers who have done a better job, who are more creative, and who have a more original signature.

It's a dangerous game to play, certainly. It can come back to bite them all in the ass. If the UnSub escapes, he could go on one hell of a spree just to prove to Reid that he is more fucked up than all the big names combined. However, it's the risk Reid has to take. The UnSub's submissive partner went the 'suicide by cop' route but there's the strong chance that Marina deLeon is still alive.

It's fascinating to watch to watch Reid verbally work over a subject.

It also inspires Dave to have the most inappropriate thoughts, something he shouldn't have because a young woman's life is at stake.

The mistake the UnSub makes is thinking that he's on the same intellectual level as Reid. Sure, the BAU has tackled incredibly smart freaks along the way, but this guy isn't one of them. He has a massive vocabulary, but he uses words out of context. He gets flustered when Reid corrects him with, "I believe the term you're looking for is…" and then rallies back with another splurge of syllables that, while they may sound good, make no sense at all.

And when the UnSub uses the word "ostentatious" incorrectly, Reid's response is dripping with disdain. Reid even makes a dismissive hand gesture before picking up the files. It infuriates the UnSub, who is now flushed dark red and his eyes are glinting with hatred.

Then, Reid shakes his head, pushes his glasses up his nose again, and scoots his chair back. Reid plays the final verbal card—how the submissive partner was going to get all the media recognition and be hailed as a brilliant individual—as he stands up.

There's that split second pause, then the UnSub screams, "Bruce couldn't rub to sticks together without an instruction book! He would have never thought of using the abandoned water tower! No! That's my idea."

Reid doesn't stop walking to the door. He exits the interrogation room as the UnSub continues to rant, confessing to all four killings in glorious details that prosecuting attorneys have wet dreams about.

Hotch, Prentiss, and Morgan are already out the door, Garcia giving them the address moments after the UnSub revealed the location. There's no one else in the observation room except for Dave, who stares openly as his lover closes the door.

Dave is rock hard. He's itching to pull Reid forward and kiss the man breathless. He wants to drop to suck Reid off, even it means having Reid help him to his feet afterward.

He wants. He wants.

Reid looks at him. He glances down, lingers on Dave's crotch, and then meets Dave's gaze. There's amusement in his eyes as a little smirk plays across his lips. His voice is low, wicked. "Jason Gideon naked, taking it from behind by Max Ryan."

And, oh Jesus Christ, that image pops into Dave's head and the desire to do anything sexual is quickly squelched. Dave glares, because Reid played dirty, and he waggles a finger at him. "Just wait until tonight."

Reid's grin blossoms. He leans forward and whispers, "I know you'll be on your knees for me." He then brushes by Dave, the innocent gawky agent persona firmly in place, and asks over his shoulder, "The rest of them are on their way to the water tower?"

"Yes," Dave manages to get out because cheeky doesn't even begin to describe Spencer's behavior. It isn't fair. Then again, staring lustfully at one's coworker in the middle of an investigation isn't exactly professional either. He adjusts himself and then follows Reid into the main area.

Yeah, he'll be on his knees tonight.

And he'll love every second of it.