I can't say Goodbye

Chapter 1: Ripped Apart


If you're looking for happy endings, this story is not one for you.

Thus let me live, unheard, unknown;

This isn't one of those 'lushius and 'mione fall in love and have 10 children and a puppy' stories.

Thus unlamented let me die;

This is a story of obsession, hate, love, torture, killing, and pure evil.

Steal from the world, and not a stone

Viewer discretion is advised.

Tell where I lie.

There are times when the things we treasure the most in our lives, the things that we consider to be truly beautiful and pure; are torn away from us in the blink of an eye. In just a second, just one night, things can go so wrong, and become so horribly misconstrued; that we find ourselves questioning everything we used to believe in.

Then there are the times were we wonder how a situation could have gone differently, had one minor detail not occurred. It's incredible really, to think about such immense power; and how a mere second can alter and shift the very foundations of our lives.

Love, hate, resentment; have you ever wondered what life would be like if these emotions suddenly ceased to exist?

Have you ever sat down and thought about the ironic pathos of life?

Most importantly, have you ever wondered why people would want to commit something as sinful as revenge? What terrors they must have faced to awaken such a feeling?

Well I have. Those questions are the only thoughts that occupy my mind now. It's almost laughable really, to see how affected I've become by them. I used to be the happy-go-lucky type of person, all smiles, go-with-the-flow and all that jazz. Now everything I have ever loved, is gone. It all simply disappeared; vanished...

But enough about me. If I drone on about all the things I've lost, I won't get to share the information I gathered on that fateful night. I was there, hidden in the shadows, and I saw everything. Unfortunately for all events that occurred prior to it, I wasn't around.

This story isn't from my point of view, even though I would like it to be.

Maybe I could have changed the outcome if it were, Maybe not.

That thought, along with many others, will haunt me forever.

Nevertheless, I have spent years scrounging around listening to whispers, putting together missing links in the details and deciphering supposed facts about what really went on. After years of accumulating research I'm finally ready to tell the story.

I shall take you back to when the war was at its highest point. Ron, Harry, and Hermione were trying to find horcruxes and Voldemort was gathering more recruits. It was dark times, and the sky had a seemingly perpetual black twinge to it. This was is the beginning and the end of an era, the time when my life ripped apart.

"Oh I've seen the girl grow up and she is just delightful. Nothing like her father though, it's quite a shame. Her father and mother hardly ever speak to one another much. It's quite selfish to put the kid through all of that. But that is their lives, I can't intervene. But rumour has it, she had an affair with another man and that's where the child came from. But then again, it's only a rumour."

"Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is growing up." ~ James Baldwin

The Daily Prophet



"Last night, at approximately 6:52 p.m. Witch Anberlynn Aponte claimed to see yet another dark mark as she was leaving her home in London. After this first claim, more and more people claimed that they too saw the ominous sign on impeding death..."


"Four more known convicted death eaters broke out of Azkaban yesterday morning. Lucius Malfoy, Antonin Dolohov, Rodopholus Lestrange and Rabastan Lestrange are among the four..."

Hermione Granger sat on her bed, glancing at the headlines of the Daily Prophet. A slight shudder ran though her body as she read the paragraph about the Azkaban breakout. 'There's really no end to this is there?' she thought. She lightly messaged her temples and tried to think about other things; like the upcoming quest. Tomorrow after Bill and Fleurs' wedding, she would be leaving with Ron and Harry to find more horcruxes'. Lately everything had seemed so rushed and disorganized. The reason, though obvious, did not calm Hermione in the least. All she wanted was to sit back and take a break from the frantic pace. 'Not possible though' she thought. 'So don't even think about it'.

In school Hermione was always known as the miss know-it-all, and some other names she would have liked to forget. She always enjoyed solving mysteries, and she possessed a sense of adventure; but now...

Hermione shook all the thoughts from her mind as she stood up. She walked over to the makeshift dresser on the other side of the room and smiled sadly at her reflection. She was currently staying at the Burrow because she figured it was probably the safest place for her at the moment; plus she loved being around the Weasley's. They always made her feel at home, no matter what was going on around them. Although she loved her parents and wanted to be with them more than anything, she knew she couldn't be at home, it wouldn't be safe. Not for her, and certainly not for them.

She looked up at the mirror and picked up the brush that was sitting on the smooth oak surface. Her reflection stared bleakly back at her and she felt shock ripple up her spine. Her hair resembled a lion's mane more than anything. This wasn't terribly upsetting however; for it never quite fell the way she wanted it to. It stuck out at odd angles in vicious curl to the point where it drove her mad; not that she could do anything about it. Her skin was now so pale that she appeared almost ghostly in any type of dim lighting, despite the ample amounts she spent outside these days.

But what really got to her were her eyes. People say that the eyes are the window of one's soul. Her eyes, once a rich dark brown and full of happiness, were now wide with fear. She hoped nobody else picked up on this, but she couldn't be sure. Her friends were infuriatingly perceptive; especially Harry. He had a knack for sensing people's emotions. Mainly the one's he was close to. She wasn't about to give up yet though. Their adventure hadn't even begun.

She always put on a brave facade for Harry's sake. They had been through so much together, and they weren't even close to the end. It wouldn't do to lose her marbles now. Harry was scared out of his wits, even if he tried not to show it and Hermione needed to be there for him. She needed to show him that she still believed they could win the war.

All these thoughts were running through her mind almost at once, like fierce voices yelling orders at her. It was like standing out during a storm. No matter how much you want the thunder and the noise to pass, it just seemed to get worse.

The sound of running footsteps jogged her from her thoughts and she sighed in mild annoyance. The house wasn't built for privacy, and you certainly couldn't walk around in it quietly. It was probably just one of the boys running around trying to get things ready for the wedding. Thinking of that, Hermione walked over to her bed to get her wand to go out and help.

Her door slammed open and she jumped, dropping her wand with a small cry. Her heart was still beating frantically as she turned to the doorway. A small smile crept across her face as she realized who her visitor was, but it disappeared as quickly as it came.

"What's wrong Ron?" she asked quietly. Her stomach had coiled itself into tight knots as if it had sensed impending doom.

Ron's eyes were wide and his nostrils flared as he answered her "Hermione, It's Ginny! She's missing!"


Yeah so, first chapter! Woo! Reviews, comments, critiques, all is welcome!