A/N: So this isn't the one-shot based on the episode 'Big Time Pranks,' but it is a humor fic. I know what I'm going to do for my next poll on my profile page. Haha, this is the part where I purposely leave you hanging. Anyways, this takes place sometime after 'Big Time Girlfriends.'
Disclaimer: See a name you recognize? I don't own it. I'm not making a profit by writing this. Don't make me laugh!
When Logan told me that he would buzz cut his hair, join a gym, and nickname himself 'The Island,' I never in a million years thought that he was actually being serious. I thought he was just being his usual sarcastic self. To him, he lives, breathes, and eats sarcasm. It is everything to him. It's his coping mechanism. He tends to say smart-alec remarks when he's nervous or scared. He tends to say smart-alec remarks just for the sake of saying smart-alec remarks. Sometimes I think he just likes to hear the sound of his voice.
I was enjoying a nice, relaxing day at the pool reading over a script for an upcoming audition, when I noticed someone who at first, I thought was a new resident at The Palm Woods. Upon closer inspection, I was stunned when I realized it was Logan.
His disheveled, spiky hair was no more. He instead was sporting a buzz cut look. He wore shades that only partly covered his eyes as he had lowered them. His t-shirt and jeans look was no more. He even ditched his vests. Instead he wore a black wife beater and baggy jeans that actually sagged. I knew I shouldn't look at his underwear, but my eyes kept drifting to them.
From the looks of things, no one needed to pants Logan; gravity would do that soon enough. The way I saw it, it was only a matter of time before Logan dropped trou. I mean he wasn't even wearing a belt! He was wearing pants that were clearly way too big around the waist for him! His sneakers were a thing of the past too. In their place, were a pair of black Doc Martens. He even wore bling around his neck. It was a gold chain with a large diamond studded dollar sign.
It even looked like Logan wasn't kidding about joining a gym. He had always been somewhat scrawny, but seeing him wear a wife beater, I could actually see some muscular definition in his biceps, and were those…abs…peeking through from beneath the wife beater?
I was at a complete and utter loss for words. I was torn; a part of me found Logan's new look...well, hot. The rest of me—most of me—wanted to just start bursting out laughing. This was too funny! Was Logan serious?
He nonchalantly strolled his way over to me. He even changed the way he walked. He now walked what I'm sure he thought was a cool walk, but really looked pretty stupid. It looked like he was bouncing to the beat of some unforeseen rhythm…offbeat mind you…his hands stuffed in his pockets as he was in motion, making his pants sag even more.
"Logan? What are you wearing? What happened to your hair? Are you trying to prove something? Did you lose some bet?" I asked, firing off one question after another without even giving him time to answer.
He picked up my hand with his. He kissed the back of my hand. I was confused by that. I thought we agreed that we were just friends? Did that mean he wanted to be more than just friends? Or was that just a friendly kiss? Do friends even kiss the backs of other friends' hands?
"Who dis 'Logan' you speak of? Where are my manners? I ain't even introduced myself yet. I'm 'The Island.' What's your name, boo?" Logan asked, trying to sound all ghetto.
Despite my best efforts, I couldn't contain my laughter; I burst out laughing. 'The Island' seemed unfazed by my behavior.
"You know my name, Logan. I'm Camille. You can drop your act now! People are staring! You're causing a scene!" I commented.
'The Island' brushed the imaginary dirt off his shoulder.
"Psh! Dey be trippin'. Dey jealous. Dat's what dat is! Fo schizzle!" 'The Island' replied.
I was laughing so hard that my sides started to protest. I'm sure my actions weren't helping with the whole Logan-causing-a-scene thing, but I couldn't help myself. This was too funny! Why did I ever cheat on Logan in the first place? He's so sweet. Not to mention hysterical.
"Where did you learn to talk like that?" I asked, keeping my composure long enough to get the question out.
"BET. Dat channel's da bomb!" 'The Island' answered.
This was too much! Everything about this was just too funny! His clothes. The way he walked. The way he talked. His hair. His bling. I'm pretty sure I had never laughed so hard before in all of my sixteen years.
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Carlos stealthily tiptoe over to Logan from behind. He held his finger to his lips in a 'quiet' gesture. I put on my poker face. I didn't want to respond to Carlos in any way, shape, or form; that would just give Carlos away. As far as I could tell, Logan had no idea that Carlos was even behind him. I had a feeling things were about to get a whole lot funnier.
Carlos was literally fingertips away from pantsing Logan, when his trousers fell down all on their own. Everyone around the pool, me included, pointed and laughed at 'The Island.' Even Carlos joined in.
This finally broke 'The Island's' character. Logan's face flushed a crimson red out of embarrassment. His eyes brimmed with tears. He was mortified and understandably so. His pants fell down in front of a good twenty or so people that were by the pool at the time; and that wasn't even counting the people watching from the lobby.
He pulled his pants up, and ran away, with his head hung low in shame. Unfortunately for Logan, he was somewhat of a klutz. He dropped trou a second time. His jeans fell down to his ankles, and he tripped and face planted. He threw his hands out in front of him to break his fall, but it was still downright hilarious.
However, I forgot all about laughing at Logan. Instead, my eyes were glued to the sight of Logan in his underwear. He wore boxer briefs. Hanes in fact. This was really the first time I had ever seen Logan in his drawers, and it wasn't something I would be forgetting anytime soon. I felt my cheeks start to heat up. I didn't mind the view one bit. I never really noticed it before under his baggy clothing, but Logan really had a cute butt. Maybe it was all the working out in the gym he had been doing lately. Whether consciously or unconsciously, I licked my lips.
Logan furiously wiped away his tears with the back of his hand. He then pulled his pants up. With one hand, he held them up so they wouldn't fall down again. He stood up, and awkwardly power walked his way into the lobby, trying his best all the while not to look at anybody.
As amusing of a sight this just was, I kind of actually felt bad for Logan. He hated being the center of attention. Everyone was pointing, laughing, and staring at him. Even me and Carlos. It wasn't all bad though. I mean I did get to see Logan in his underwear. I must say that joining a gym is doing wonders for him. I'm starting to actually see some muscular definition on him. Especially when it comes to his glutes.
"I'm going to check on him. I bet I can make him feel better," I said to Carlos.
Logan, 'The Island,' whatever he is calling himself these days, I wouldn't mind being stranded with him. I wouldn't mind that at all. I was starting to seriously rethink our whole 'Just Friends' stance.
A/N: So the end was probably really corny, and this whole thing was probably really stupid and not even funny. Basically, writing this was probably just a waste of time. But what's done is done. It's out there now, and I can't take it back. Well, I could, I suppose. I could just delete it or whatever…If the general consensus seems to be this is crap and/or I don't get many or any reviews, then maybe I will. Oh, and lastly, please don't ask me to make this into a two-shot or multi-chapter fic. This was supposed to be a one-shot. I fully intend on leaving this as a one-shot. Thanks for reading!