A/N: The smuttier sequal. :D All down to popular demand. I once again have no plans to continue this, however I'll keep the idea of more in my head for when I need to write something light. I have to admit though, those "txt message from" bits, and getting the times right, takes forever lol! it's the worst bit :p I hope everyone enjoys, and I hope you've had a happy new year.
Once again ALL these typo's were found on damnyouautocorrect-dot-com.
Ari xx
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
4.42 PM
What do you want for dinner?
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
4.43 PM
Anything
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
4.45 PM
Chinese?
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
4.46 PM
Sure
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
5.00 PM
So what do you want?
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
5:01 PM
It doesn't matter
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
5.03 PM
Egg fried rice?
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
5:03 PM
No
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
5.05 PM
Sweet and sour chicken balls?
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
5:05 PM
No
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
5.08 PM
Lo mien?
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
5:08 PM
No
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
5.10 PM
Chow mien? Give me something to work with, Sherlock!
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
5:12 PM
Crispy dick
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
5.12 PM
Not sure the local does that one lol
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
5:13 PM
Oh shut up John.
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
5.30 PM
Don't make plans, I'm cooking tonight. Take the baby out of the freezer and defrost it for me please Sherlock?
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
5:38 PM
I'm clearly having a very bad influence on you John, even I'm not partial to cannibalism
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
5.40 PM
Bacon, Sherlock... you will tell me when I can get rid of this phone right? You're not just leaving this for laughs are you?
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
5:42 PM
Of course not John. The bacon's in the fridge.
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
1:38 PM
I need milk
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
1.45 PM
Get it yourself; I'm at the doctor's convention in Essex
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
1:49 PM
Hmm, Mrs Hudson's getting it. What's the hotel like?
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
1.52 PM
Has a bunch of dead people so it should be pretty quiet.
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
1:53 PM
Really? Sounds intriguing
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
1.56 PM
Deaf, Sherlock, don't waste your time coming down here!
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
6.00 PM
Sherlock, where are you? I thought you were going to tidy this living room?
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
6:01 PM
I may have prostituted for too many hours last night, and been sleeping in your room all day...
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
6.04 PM
Umm... Should I be worried...
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
6:04 PM
¬.¬ Procrastinated
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
6.06 PM
When did you start using emoticons?
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
11:10 AM
Bring home a bottle of cyanide
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
11:18 AM
Sherlock, I can't get Cyanide for you
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
11:19 AM
Champagne, John, I've already located the correct poison, I'm onto forms of administration now
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
4.26 PM
When I get in, I'm going to need a fuck
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
4.27 PM
I'm sure I can accommodate you
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
4.32 PM
*hug
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
4.33 PM
I can do that too
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
LESTRADE
08:47 PM 08/01/2011
John, lemme know if Sherlock comes up with anything?
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
11.26 AM 09/01/2011
Yes, if Sherlock thinks of anything I'll let you know, just give me some warning before the drugs bust to hide my gun? Sorry about the delay in replying, Greg, I fell asleep yesterday and by the time I woke it was too late to text you back. Couldn't get back to sleep till 6am, so I waited till now... At least I got some rear at last though
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
LESTRADE
11.34 AM
Thanks John, and I will... btw, TMI?
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
11.42 AM
REST! I honestly don't know why anyone buys these phones! I'd throw it, but it was a gift...
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
11.50 AM
You're laughing and passing these texts round the office aren't you...
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
LESTRADE
12.04 PM
Really John, would I do that to you?
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
12.06 PM
You don't want me to answer that. Behave or I'll sic Sherlock on you
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
6.00 PM
What time are you due back from the lab, Sherlock?
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
6.03 PM
Why?
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
6.05 PM
I want to cook dinner, and I need to know what time to start
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
6.08 PM
Not sure, will be heterosexual for a while though
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
6.10 PM
... I'm sorry, what?
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
6.11 PM
Here for a while ...
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
6.11 PM
Right.
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
5:38 PM
Where did you go?
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
5.39 PM
I'm going home
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
5:40 PM
I hadn't finished with the body
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
5.41 PM
I had
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
5:43 PM
Where are you? The cab can pick you up
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
5.44 PM
Don't bother.
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
5:48 PM
You're not still angry...?
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
5.50 PM
Nope
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
5:53 PM
Yes you are. You can't honestly be stubborn enough to wank all the way home.
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
5:54 PM
John?
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
5:55 PM
John, stop laughing!
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
5:58 PM
I'll meet you back at Baker Street
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
7.22 AM
Molested for Breakfast?
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
7.32 AM
Request or Offer, Sherlock?
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
7.34 AM
Request for omelettes, offer of molestation of course
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
4.18 PM
Can you meet me at Barts when you're finished at the surgery?
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
4.20 PM
I'm moist
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
4.22 PM
Interesting fact Doctor, not something I would have deduced from my request
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
4.28 PM
*Most likely able
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
11.56 AM
Tea
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
11.59 AM
Bad day?
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
12.00 PM
Not really, you busy?
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
12.02 PM
No, lunch break, what's up?
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
12.05 PM
Nothing, just bored, just leaving my life
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
12.05 PM
Leaving? What? Sherlock!
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
12.07 PM
Living, relax John.
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
12.07 PM
Gods! Don't bloody do that to me!
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
12.08 PM
Blame the phone. Tea?
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
12.09 PM
I'm at work, on my lunch break.
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
12.09 PM
Urgh, boring.
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
5.32 PM
Lestrade told me the case is closed, you want breakfast in the morning?
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
5:34 PM
Certainly, I'll fuck you up after my shower
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
5.35 PM
Not the sort of breakfast I had in mind, but I won't argue
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
5:35 PM
I meant wake
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
5.39 PM
Well, that'll definitely wake me!
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
6:38 PM
Harry, John asked me to text and find out if you still have your mothers old vagina he could borrow
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
HARRY WATSON
6.46 PM
OMG, ur such a sic fuck Holmes!
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
6.55 PM
China! Harry, he meant China, it's the IPhone auto correct...
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
HARRY WATSON
7.00 PM
Ur taste in dates ain't improved John, fuck sake!
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
7.12 PM
Do you have the china set or not, Harry
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
HARRY WATSON
7.16 PM
'Course, cum and pik it up 2morrow
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
5:38 PM
Sleeping on your crotch in your room tonight, experiment
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
5.40 PM
Sherlock, I'm used to your experiments, but this one really should have been requested rather than insisted
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
5:45 PM
*couch, not crotch... although, it's an interesting idea for another night... see John? I told you that, logically, the phone's auto correct had to be useful for something.
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
9.00 PM
You awake?
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
9.02 PM
Of course, can't sleep?
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
9.05 PM
No, Harry's in the bathroom recovering from a hangover
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
9.06 PM
It's the middle of the night; don't hangovers usually occur the following morning?
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
9.09 PM
Yes, unless the affected party got drunk at lunchtime
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
9.11 PM
Ah. You know what you need?
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
9.12 PM
My gun?
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
9.14 PM
A hot cock before bed
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
9.15 PM
Well, if you're offering, the taxi ride would only be 45 minutes max
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
9.17 PM
If I turned up on your sister's doorstep, you'd never forgive me. Try hot coco as a half baked substitute, and I'll make it up to you tomorrow ;)
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
9.18 PM
These emoticons are starting to worry me Sherlock
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
9.20 PM
Sweet Dreams, John
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
5:38 PM
I give horrible head John, what do you recommend?
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
6.00 PM
I have to disagree Sherlock, but if you're convinced, I'd say practice makes perfect.
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
6.01 PM
*Have a horrible *Headache!
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
6.12 PM
Paracetamol and water then
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
LESTRADE
5.59 PM
Sherlock, where are you? I've got a case for you
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
6.00 PM
Went for a wank on the beach with John, on our way now
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
LESTRADE
6.03 PM
Well don't let me interrupt
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
6.09 PM
He's not dignifying that with a response... so he's having me do it instead; walk.
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
12.19 PM
I need you to meet me at Barts, I think I've worked out what toxin was used to kill Mrs Potts
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
12.22 PM
Can't, Sherlock, I told you last week I'm visiting my hostages
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
12.23 PM
Really John, you shouldn't tell me this in a text, the police might find it
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
12.28 PM
My grandparents. How long do I have to keep this phone before throwing it away won't offend Mycroft?
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
8.02 PM
You blow me, Sherlock!
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
8.03 PM
It wasn't in my schedule, but I'm sure I can find room...
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON
8.07 PM
I meant, 'you owe me'! That grave was disgusting!
TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES
8.09 PM
Hmm... Well, I'm sure if we combine the two messages I could come up with something to appease you... Make it home in the next twenty minutes and I'll see what I can do.