A/N: This was originally a different pairing, which didn't do well, so I decided to rewrite it with Bella and Emmett as the pairing. Thank you to obsessedmom for the edit and of course Twilight characters do not belong to me. Rated M.
Heartbreaking to Beautiful
We were young. We were stupid. We were in love.
Our love created James, our son.
But now, he wasn't really ours, was he?
Because, as I watched him, every soft curl atop his head bouncing as he played in my sister's backyard, he called to her, wanting his mommy to help him climb the ladder to the small slide.
I swallowed hard, holding onto the sides of the chair I was sitting in not to stand and go over. Rosalie was his mother. Not me. She raised him and she was there every time he needed her. I was a stranger.
"There you go, my sweetheart," Rosalie smiled proudly, clapping when he slid down and laughed his cheeky laugh. That he got from Emmett, along with the most adorable dimples in the world.
"Okay?" She asked him, a bigger smile across her face.
He nodded, this time climbing up himself easily. He just needed encouragement at first. Rosalie was amazing with him.
I couldn't believe he was already five. I hadn't seen him in so long. They didn't let me.
"Push baby, just push," Emmett told me, holding my hand tightly.
I shook my head, as best I could from how tired I was.
"Yes, baby, you have to."
I cried out, holding back.
As soon as he was born, he'd be taken from me. The only thing holding us together was that he was inside me. If she could have, she'd have ripped him out of me by now.
Mom was furious when I told her I was pregnant. She screamed, wondering what kind of stupid sixteen year old pair the two of us were. She didn't believe in abortion, and as soon as I realized I loved the life inside me, I didn't either.
He was my life and I wanted to hold on, just a little longer. I wanted him so badly, but Mom already made arrangements that I be sent away.
She sent me to Uncle Carlisle. He and Aunt Esme were kind. Never having had children of their own, I think I became a stand-in for the years I was with them. He made sure I finished school and then attended the college by their home. He even paid for Emmett to come visit me on Christmas and New Year.
But he respected my mother's wishes about James, no matter how much I asked and begged for him. Emmett and I were too young, without anything of our own. Mom took it to her advantage, knowing we couldn't look after him ourselves.
His cries filled the room, and the doctor was a kind enough woman to place him in my arms.
I didn't dare look away as Emmett kissed the side of my head, placing his hand on our son's head lightly.
"He's beautiful, baby, just like you,"
I cried harder, seeing Mom step in.
She made them take him away.
I'd never see him. . .
Until today, five years later.
Mom gave him to my older sister. I knew Rosalie would love him like he was her own. She and her husband Jake couldn't have children. She thanked me so much for the gift of my child. I wanted to die.
I was sick from the hollow feeling where my heart once was.
Rosalie made her way back over to me. She gave me a small smile and sat down, crossing her legs and reaching for her coffee.
"So, college was good, right? I hear you liked it. Uncle Carlisle called from time to time, just to check in and tell me how you're doing."
I didn't want this small talk. I just wanted to see James was happy, healthy, and safe.
I smiled now too, he was indeed. He was perfect.
After I didn't speak, Rosalie cleared her throat.
"I just want to watch him for a bit," I admitted, "Please?"
She placed her hand on my knee lightly and nodded, "We'll just sit for a bit," she told me.
So we did, we sat and watched James play.
I lost sense of time, everything wrapped up in him and what he did. There was nothing else right now, only him. My life.
I never had the chance to rock him to sleep, to tell him stories, to take him to the dentist and promise him he could have ice cream afterwards because he was my brave boy.
No, Rosalie got to live all the moments I'd die for, a thousand times over.
Emmett was wonderful, always so strong for me. There was not one night he didn't stay up on the phone with me until I fell asleep, too exhausted from all my crying.
He worked so hard all day, for us, and then stayed up to make sure I didn't feel alone.
He promised me he'd make enough money and we'd start a happy life together by the time I was home. He didn't speak about James, knowing it would only make me feel worse. He only reminded, on the nights I was really bad, that James was getting everything I wished for him.
Rosalie and Jake gave him everything he needed, and he was a well behaved young gentlemen for it - obviously, having shook my hand and introduced himself after his mother asked him too.
The place my mother had ripped from my heart felt a beat and warmed. He was safe, he was happy. I didn't need to fear for him. He had kind and caring parents who'd move the heavens for him if need be.
"Jake'll be home soon," Rosalie broke the silence and peace my mind created in the time she allowed me to watch James.
"Oh. . . Yes, right," I nodded, taking a deep breath and forcing a smile, "Thank you."
I knew Jake didn't approve. He didn't want James ever knowing they weren't his real parents. He didn't even want me as an aunt, afraid I would slip. He even asked Emmett to help keep me away.
I didn't dare ask Emmett how he responded, but I knew our home was two hours from here for a reason. He didn't want me bumping into them on a daily basis.
"Of course," she stood.
So did I.
"You going to be okay driving back?"
I'd drive forever if only for a glance of my son and the good boy he had grown into.
"Yeah, I'll be fine."
"I'll show you out," she gestured to the glass doors. "James honey, I'll be right back, don't go anywhere!" she yelled to him.
He looked to us and I gave a small wave.
He smiled Emmett's smile and waved happily. His hair and eye color were mine, but his features so much Emmett's.
I walked through their large home, aware of the way I came, letting the same path see me out.
"Be safe," Rosalie told me.
Being ten years older than me and our mother a monster, made her more of a mother than anyone else was in my life.
I watched her, unable to speak.
She sighed and quickly pulled me into a tight hug, "I love you, Bella," she choked.
I held onto her. I loved her for loving James. I loved her for being my big sister.
"I'm so sorry," she whispered. "I'll try and talk to Jake again," she promised me.
We both knew Jake wouldn't change his mind, but I thanked her anyway.
"Say hello to Emmett for me,"
I nodded, trying to be brave, this was about what was best for James. "You take care of him." Jake and Rosalie were best for him.
I turned and walked to the car as the tears began falling.
I started the car quickly and pulled out of their driveway. My body, every single inch, ached more the further I was from him.
I cried all the way back, and sat in the driveway of our small home.
Emmett got this for us six months before I returned. He fixed it up, knowing how to from all the construction work he did. He dropped out of school and began working as soon as my mother announced her plans while I was pregnant.
He was determined to look after me, and of course he did. I'd always have him, my lover and my best friend. No one could take him from me. We'd fight through every war in history for the other.
I promised myself, when I moved higher up in the company where I was now an employee that I'd help him go to college as well, so he could be what he always wanted. His novels would be on shelves, and everyone would read his beautiful tales of lands thought up in his vivid imagination.
With the thought of him and how much love we shared, I forced myself out of the car and prepared dinner for him.
Spaghetti, his favorite, and homemade garlic bread.
"Oh god, baby, do I smell my favorite?"
I laughed lightly.
He came in behind me, dirty from his hard day and kissed my cheek.
"Go shower, it'll be ready in fifteen minutes," I told him, turning to the food so he wouldn't see my face.
But he sensed that I was hiding, and gripped my chin, forcing me to look up. I'm sure my eyes were puffy and red, giving me away.
I pleaded, with my stare, for him not to ask questions now.
He just leaned down, kissing me hard and long.
"Okay, I'll be out in ten." He placed another kiss to my lips, this one softer, and went to shower.
I set the table, and by the time he was seated the food was ready.
My plate held a serving a quarter the size of his. He was always hungry and ate insane amounts of food. But he was like this in high school too.
He reached over, with his now clean hand and rubbed his thumb across my cheekbone while giving me an understanding look.
He was never impatient with me when I was sad. He understood. He was stronger than I was.
"You tell me when you're ready, baby," he smiled.
I nodded, and continued by asking him how work was today.
I ate slowly as I listened, then we cleaned the dishes together and went to relax on the couch.
As with most nights, he placed his head on my lap, spreading the rest of his body out on the couch. He dug his face into my stomach. Not even the sports channel could keep him awake now.
He worked six days a week, and one of his favorite things was napping with his head in my lap. Who was I to deny something so simple? So I ran my fingers through his dark curls and watched him as he rested.
Of course I had to tell him what I did, we didn't keep things from one another. I wondered if he'd be mad with me. It didn't happen often, but I did do something which he had made me promise not to.
He shifted in my lap in what felt like no time and awoke, giving me a smile.
"What a massage?" I offered.
He moaned deeply, "I have the best girlfriend in the world, did I tell you?"
I laughed lightly, "Yeah, you've said it before." I nodded.
He moved to lie on his stomach and I straddled his butt, moving my hands underneath his shirt and rubbing his muscles. They were hard and large beneath my small hands.
Luckily for me, he quickly pulled the shirt off so I could watch as I massaged the body I loved. Well, it was my reasoning anyway.
His shoulders were broad, every single part of him toned even more than when we were in high school and he played football. He was so beautiful, in every single way.
As I pressed the heels of my palms up his back, I fell forward too, kissing his neck and hearing a moan of approval vibrate through his back and against my chest.
"I went to see him," I whispered against his skin, so low that I hoped he wouldn't hear.
But he did, staying quiet. He knew who I meant.
Pressing my forehead against the back of his head, I felt the tears return.
"He looks so much like you, baby," I spoke into his hair.
He still didn't say anything.
I moved and kissed his shoulder, "I'm sorry, I just needed..." I sat up, wiping my tears away and half standing off the couch.
He quickly turned, grabbing my wrist and pulling me down so I was now straddling his lower stomach.
He tangled his fingers in my hair and held the back of my neck firmly, making us kiss. I cried into it, moving my hands to feel his chest.
His free hand pressed into my lower back, ensuring our bodies were as close as possible.
I moaned as I forced my hand between us and pushed to rid him of his sweats.
He lifted me easily, and flipped us so I was underneath. I breathed out desperately as he pulled my shirt off, followed by my jeans.
He looked at me and I quickly grabbed the back of his neck now, pulling him down for another kiss. His kisses only grew in passion the longer we were together. I loved him more with every one we shared as well.
His hands ran up and now my thighs as they were already spread and by his sides. I hooked my toes into the back of his sweats and boxers, bringing them down his ass with skill.
I could feel his length pressed between us while we kissed with great need for one another. I always needed him.
His hand moved around my thigh, his fingers pushing my panties to the side and feeling if I was wet before he entered me.
I broke the kiss with a small scream as he plunged in without hesitation. My legs pulled him closer, whimpers escaping my lips while he kissed my neck and made love to me.
I closed my eyes tightly, tears falling down my temples and into my hair.
"I'm sorry, baby," he whispered against my ear, one of his hands moving onto the other side of my neck.
I held his lower body to me with both my legs and arms, wanting him closer and deeper.
"I promise," he breathed deeply, "we'll. . ."
I cried out as he pushed in deeper, but of course, the tears were from his words.
"We'll make babies, and I'll never let anyone take them from you,"
I felt him move back from the side of my neck, pressing his hands into the couch beneath me so that he was hovering above me.
"Look at me, baby,"
I opened my sore eyes - I'd do anything he asked - and looked into his blue ones.
"I promise I'll never fail you again. . . I'm so sorry."
I shook my head so he'd know I didn't blame him. I blamed myself for not being able to fight against my mother.
"Stop," I breathed, pulling him down so when our lips locked no one could say another word.
The wonderful pressure filled my lower belly as he moved his hand down and held my hips, moving faster and breaking the kiss only so both of us could breathe against each others faces.
I nodded, clawing into his shoulders and arching my back, my head falling back too. "Please," I whispered.
His thrusts increased and my walls soon clamped down around him, coming a few seconds before he let go too, both our orgasms driving the other's further along.
He collapsed on top of me and I hugged his upper back, kissing his shoulder and relaxing as well.
We were still for awhile, until I swallowed and forced the tears to stop, "I don't want to replace him."
Emmett pulled away and looked at me with a frown, "Not replacing, just starting our own family, when we're ready, on our own terms,"
A sob escaped and I nodded.
"Come on, let's go to bed,"
I laughed lightly through the sob when he lifted me easily and carried me there.
He pulled some boxers on and handed me a t-shirt. I pulled a clean pair of panties out of the drawer and changed.
He was the best at snuggling, holding me so close that I knew no one could get me. Making me feel safe.
I kissed him and he helped wipe my face once more.
"You're not mad?" I asked.
He gave me a smile, "I get it baby, you needed to see him," he answered. "And you saw, he's good right, with Jake and Rosalie?"
I nodded, his smile widening, "Good," he said.
"You know I don't blame you, right?" I ran my fingers through his hair, his eyes closing as I did so.
"I know, but I blame myself for not being able to give you what you want, and I'm not going to let that happen again. I'll make the rest of it perfect. . . You can hold me to that,"
"It is perfect when it's with you," I smiled. "I love you so much."
His smile brightened and he gave me another one of his deep kisses. "Love you so much," he responded against my lips.
Emmett asked me to marry him on the Valentine's Day that followed. I said yes of course - I screamed yes.
I told him I wanted something simple, so we got married at the courthouse with Uncle Carlisle, Aunt Esme and Emmett's grandfather Jeb as our witnesses. They all flew in to be with us. That was followed by dinner with our close friends at our favorite restaurant.
Emmett's mother and step-father had long sworn him off, believing that getting his high school girlfriend pregnant was one of his worst acts. And I would rather die than invite my mother. I promised myself she'd never be in my life again.
I kept the promise.
On a happier note. . .
Our first daughter was born on the day of Emmett's college graduation. Needless to say, he missed it - his graduation, not his daughter's birth.
We named her Emma after her daddy, since she was the spitting image.
By the time Lilly and Iris followed - all three of our daughters two years apart - we had moved into a larger home. We could afford it now.
Like Emmett once told me, our daughters were not replacements for our son. They were each their own person, each individual, kind and. . . simply perfect.
Rosalie and I met up from time to time, and she emailed me photos as James grew. By now I accepted that he had a better life with her and Jake. At the time, Emmett and I couldn't have provided for him.
It still hurt, and I still ached to hold my boy in my arms, but I was stronger now, and Emmett was always there to listen when I needed. He always had been and he always would be.
I listened too, on the odd occasion when he'd let his sadness show.
He loved me more than I deserved, and I loved him back just as fiercely.
My life had turned from heartbreaking to beautiful, because he cared enough to do so.
Our love, unlike our son, could never be taken away, and it never would be.